History Funny / NineOneOne

-->'''Injured guy:''' ''chuckles'' Come on, do I have to?[[note]]For context this is an obvious reference to Donald Trump presidency for those of you too far in the future to know by the year stated above.[[/note]]

-->'''Injured guy:''' ''chuckles'' Come on, do I have to?[[note]]For context this is an obvious reference to Donald Trump presidency for those of you too far in the future to know by the year stated above.[[/note]]\\
'''Chim:''' ''visibly amused'' He'll be fine

-->'''Chim:''' ''visibly amused'' He'll be fine

-->'''Injured guy:''' ''chuckles'' Come on, do I have to?

[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E3DesperateMeasures Episode 5 - Desperate Measures]]]]

--> '''Michael:'''I mean, he could really be in Mexico right now. Why is he coming after you?

'''Sgt. Raynard:''' Yes, ma'am, this is Sergeant Raynard out of Fort Irwin in Barstow. We have mis-deployed a joint light reconnaissance vehicle in a residential area.\\

[[AC: [[Recap: NineOneOneS6E6Tomorrow Episode 6 - Tommorrow]]]]

[[AC: [[Recap: NineOneOneS6E06Tomorrow Episode 6 - Tommorrow]]]]

'''Hen:''' And a weapon in the wrong hands!\\

* Buck, in his conquest to impress Bobby so that he's picked as the interim captain, uses his [[ThePerfectionist clipboard]] [[DrillSergeantNasty power]] and start listing things that Hen missed for the ambulance's maintenance. This exchange occurs.

'''Buck:''' ''(checks clipboard)'' Per my report, your windshield wiper is down to three-quarters full.\\

'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy]]. [[{{Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned}} You Have Been Warned.]]'''

[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E1Pilot Episode 1 - Pilot]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E2LetGo Episode 2 -Let Go]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E3NextOfKin Episode 3 - Next Of Kin]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E4WorstDayEver Episode 4 - Worst Day Ever]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E5PointOfOrigin Episode 5 - Point Of Origin]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E10AWholeNewYou Episode 10 - A Whole New You]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E271 Episode 2 - 7.1]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E3HelpIsNotComing Episode 3 - Help Is Not Coming]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E4Stuck Episode 4 - Stuck]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E9HenBegins Episode 9 - Hen Begins]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E10MerryExMas Episode 10 - Merry Ex-Mas]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E11NewBeginnings Episode 11 - New Beginnings]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E12ChimneyBegins Episode 12 - Chimney Begins]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E13FightOrFlight Episode 13 - Fight Or Flight]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E14Broken Episode 14 - Broken]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E15Oceans911 Episode 15 - Ocean's 9-1-1]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS2E17CarefulWhatYouWishFor Episode 17 - Careful What You Wish For]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E2SinkOrSwim Episode 2 - Sink Or Swim]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E5Rage Episode 5 - Rage]]]]
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** They then call up his old skating partner, have her send photos and use them to create a huge cardboard cutout display of young Bobby in ice costume (with [[Creator/DavidBowie David Bowie]]-inspired hair) for the station to enjoy.
[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E9Fallout Episode 9 - Fallout]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E11SeizeTheDay Episode 11 - Seize The Day]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E13Pinned Episode 13 - Pinned]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E14TheTakingOfDispatch911 Episode 14 - The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E15EddieBegins Episode 15 - Eddie Begins]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E16TheOneThatGotAway Episode 16 - The One That Got Away]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E17Powerless Episode 17 - Powerless]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS3E18WhatsNext Episode 18 - What's Next?]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E2AloneTogether Episode 2 - Alone Together]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E5BuckBegins Episode 5 - Buck Begins]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E8BreakingPoint Episode 8 - Breaking Point]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E9Blindsided Episode 9 - Blindsided]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E10Parenthood Episode 10 - Parenthood]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E11FirstResponders Episode 11 - First Responders]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E12TreasureHunt Episode 12 - Treasure Hunt]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E13Suspicion Episode 13 - Suspicion]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS4E14Survivors Episode 14 - Survivors]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E1Panic Episode 1 - Panic]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E2DesperateTimes Episode 2 - Desperate Times]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E3DesperateMeasures Episode 3 - Desperate Measures]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E4HomeAndAway Episode 4 - Home And Away]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E6BrawlInCellBlock911 Episode 6 - Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E7GhostStories Episode 7 - Ghost Stories]]]]
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[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS5E8DefendInPlace Episode 8 - Defend In Place]]]]
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[[/folder]]

'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy.]] Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''

[[folder:Season One]]

* The infamous ‘‘Porch Pirate’’.

-->'''Athena''': ''(annoyed at Hen's continuous laughter)'' Are you done?

[[folder:Season Two]]

* The return of the ‘‘Porch Pirate’’, who has now moved on to insurance fraud. After being recognized by Chimney— "I never forget a femur!"— she tries to deflect Athena's accusations by implying she received improper care last season. She then assures the crew that she won't sue them, but the city: deeper pockets there.

-->'''Maddie''': ''(points at the kitchen's direction)'' He's so cute.\\
'''Buck''': ''(smiles)'' Yeah, he gets that a lot. Uh, you should meet his kid, though.[[note]]He's clearly talking about Eddie[[/note]]\\
'''Maddie''': Wait, Chimney has a kid?\\
'''Buck''': ''(confused)'' No, I-I thought you meant... ''(Maddie leaves)'' Chimney?

-->'''Eddie''': (groans) Allergy's going crazy today!\\
'''Buck''': You too, huh? The index was elevated this morning, is it a new kind?\\
'''Eddie''': New kind of what?\\
'''Buck''': Pollen.\\
'''Chimney''': (disbelief) A new kind of pollen?\\
'''Eddie''': Are you feeling this, Chim?\\
'''Chimney''': No, I do not.\\
'''Eddie''': I'm seeing the pollen.\\
'''Buck''': I can hear it.

-->'''Buck''': Hey, Athena. They're like the tiniest girls I've ever seen. (high-pitch noise) Teeny tiny!
-->'''Athena''': (exasperated) Excuse me?\\
'''Eddie''': (whisper) So tiny...

-->'''Hen''': (blissful smile) Thena! Oh Thena, you smell like love...\\

--> '''Chim''': Sir, do you know what year it is?
--> '''Injured guy''': Uh, 2018.
--> '''Chim''': Can you tell me who the president is?
--> '''Injured guy''': ''chuckles'' Come on, do I have to?
--> '''Chim''': ''visibly amused'' He'll be fine

--> A completely deadpan gas station owner: "Hello 911. We're about to be robbed. Again."

[[folder:Season Three]]

-->'''Eddie''': ''(whispers)'' Between us, he's never built anything that kinda looks like anything. He just likes sticking things together. It's right there, buddy.
--> ----
-->'''Eddie''': There's 20 bucks for pizza, and if I were you, I'd eat a couple extra slices. You look like you're wasting away to nothing.
--> ----
-->'''Eddie''': I will say, honestly, you being laid up is working out for me. I mean, you're no abuela, and you're half a Carla, but you'll do in a pinch.
-->'''Buck''': You want me to watch Christopher?
-->'''Eddie''': Easy, he's not very fast.[[labelnote:irony]]This becomes ironic later in ''Breaking Point'' where Christopher runs out fast enough when Eddie was distracted with his voicecam date with Ana.[[/labelnote]]

-->'''Chem. Teacher''': I try t tell chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction. ''(beat)'' Get it? No reaction?
-->'''Eddie''': ''[[https://64.media.tumblr.com/be3066b4e2009ec89e389ffbb231939e/86846f89acf51ebc-f2/s540x810/4c0864221dcbda5edf63728a90d55d866c627391.gifv (a facial expression that either means he still doesn't understand the joke or he understands the joke but he finds it so unfunny he doesn't know how to react)]]''

-->'''Buck''': Pretty sure all kids call their parents liars at some point.\\
'''Eddie''': I don't know. Feels a little different when you hear it coming out of your kid.\\
'''Buck''': Wait until he gets to the "I don't have to do what you tell me!" phase.\\
'''Eddie''': Aren't you still in that phase?

[[folder:Season Four]]

-->'''Bobby''': ''(To Athena)'' Give me your gun.

-->'''Buck''': ''(whispers)'' Welcome to the future.

-->'''Eddie''': ''(cuts off internet connection when Buck and Christopher are playing a game)''\\
'''Christopher''': ''(sighs)'' Dad, I was beating him.\\
'''Eddie''': Well, we're taking a little break from the Internet right now.\\
'''Christopher''': But how am I supposed to talk to my friends?\\
'''Eddie''': You're talking to people on this thing?\\
'''Buck''': Kay, hey, um, you know I was kidding the other day, right? About the spying?\\
'''Eddie''': ''(ranting)'' Were you? 'Cause ever since that call, every time I go online, there's an ad for coffee makers. Read the news, coffee maker. Check the weather, coffee maker.\\
'''Buck''': Yeah, it's, uh, it's called "targeted advertising."\\
'''Eddie''': I didn't even want a new coffee maker! The one I have is fine! I only mentioned it in front of you... ''(beat)'' Hildy.\\
'''Christopher''': ''(excited)'' Hildy? Are we getting a Hildy?\\
'''Eddie''': No, we are definitely not!\\
'''Christopher''': Buck, can we go to your house and play video games?\\
'''Buck''': ''(Looks at Eddie, who makes a "Don't you dare" gesture)'' Uh, sorry, kid. I think we're gonna be playing it old school for a while. ''(Eddie leaves)''\\
'''Christopher''': What's old school?\\
'''Buck''': Have you ever heard of Scrabble?

-->'''Eddie''': ''(Snatches phone from Christopher)'' Thanks, Buck. Real funny. ''(ends call)''\\
'''Buck''': ''(laughs triumphantly)'' Yeah, you're welcome.

[[folder:Season Five]]

-->'''Hen''': What are you doing?\\
'''Eddie''': Getting in position to lift the patient.\\
'''Hen''': On my side?\\

-->'''Hen''': I give up.

-->'''Athena''': Come by anytime! Call first.

-->'''Wives''': We want a divorce.
-->'''Cheating Husband''': But it's Christmas!
-->'''Athena''': ''*walks away*'' That's right, ladies. Fight the '''real''' enemy.

-->'''Eddie''': All this time everybody thought that I was a bad cook.\\
'''Christopher''': You were.\\

[[folder:Season Six]]

-->'''Christopher''': Buck, you don't even have a couch! ''(camera zooms to where a couch used to be placed in Buck's loft)''\\

'''Buck''': ''(Gulps his beer)'' OK, what does not having a couch have anything to do with that?\\
'''Christopher''': It's just weird!

-->'''Hen''': This is not a class president election, Buck. And you don't know what the hell you're talking about.\\
'''Buck''': What I am talking about is, your fluid levels are also low.\\
'''Hen''': ''(crosses arm)'' Oh, really? Which ones? 'Cause I just topped off the oil, transmission, brake, and coolant.\\
'''Buck''': ''(checks clipboard)'' Per my report, your windshield wiper is down to three-quarters full.\\
'''Hen''': ''(Furiously yanks the clipboard from Buck's hands and walks away)''\\
'''Buck''': Uh, you can't just take that. It's the department's property.\\
'''Hen''': And a weapon in the wrong hands!\\

[[AC:[[Recap/NineOneOneS1E10AWholeNewYou Episode 10 - A Whole New You]]]]
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