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* [[spoiler:Just as Maladict is about to go completely 'cold-bat', Swires semi-literally beans him on the head with a bag of Klatchian coffee.]]

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* [[spoiler:Just Just as Maladict is about to go completely 'cold-bat', Swires semi-literally beans him on the head with a bag of Klatchian coffee.]]coffee. Coffee which Mal instinctively bites even when knocked out, and a bag Mal won't suffer anyone to touch even unconscious.

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** The colour blue. Like the sky. "Devout Nugganites try not to look at it these days."

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* Polly's line: "There's a new way of fighting wars....With [[StealthPun intelligence."]]

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* [[spoiler:Just as Maladict is about to go completely 'cold-bat', Swires semi-literally beans him on the head with a bag of Klatchian coffee.]]

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* Death commenting that Corporal "Threeparts" Scallot, so named due to him missing a hand and both legs, is on the installment plan.

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** Speaking of the horse piss, when Maladict intimidates the barman into bringing out the good stuff instead, Igor ''turns it down.'' "I'll thtick with the horthe pith if it'th all the thame to you. Look, I never thaid I didn't ''like'' it. Thame again?"

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* The brief insight into the mental progress of pigeons, which is revealed to be simply: "000000000!"


* Jackrum, Polly and Shufti steal women's clothes from a brothel, requiring them to very temporarily go undercover.

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* Jackrum, Polly and Shufti steal women's clothes from a brothel, requiring them to very temporarily go undercover.undercover (as johns, not prostitutes).

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* Late in the book, we find that giving someone the thumbs-up and winking at them means either 'Jolly good' (in Ankh-Morpork) or 'I hope your donkey explodes' (in Klatch). Shufti then asks why the person making that gesture would have any reason to applaud them, or hate their donkey so much.

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* Jackrum, Polly and Shufti steal women's clothes from a brothel, requiring them to very temporarily go undercover.
* The squad disguising themselves as trees, getting ordered to 'spruce up!'
* The RunningGag of Polly (who's never actually shaved anyone in her life) having to shave the Lieutenant, only to be saved at the last possible moment.
* In an instant of BlackComedy, Polly reminding Wazzer that while praying is a good thing, there's a time and place for it, and standing in another man's grave ''really'' isn't that time or place.


--->"Dan gug show. Ell done. Agout time soes arragunk arsetards ere aken own a eg! Commander Vimes it is, then. Follow me, miss."

to:

--->"Dan gug show. Ell done. Agout time soes arragunk arsetards ere aken own a eg! Commander Vimes it is, then. Follow me, miss.""
----


"It's a '''saber''', Magda. You're trying to hide it, but it's a saber."\\

to:

"It's a '''saber''', '''sabre''', Magda. You're trying to hide it, but it's a saber.sabre."\\


* "Oooh! Arrrgh! Right inna fruit!"


** The coffee scene.


** And that's how much ''Vimes'' dislikes him. He tends to think of William as a necessary complication of his job at the best of times; him agreeing wholeheartedly with something de Worde did?

to:

** And that's how much ''Vimes'' dislikes him. He tends to think of William as a necessary complication of his job at the best of times; him agreeing wholeheartedly with something de Worde did?did?
** A Zlobenian captain irritates Polly by asking if she's one of those... and did they really... in shackles and no clothes... and they're just women? Then he leans forward:
--->"Dan gug show. Ell done. Agout time soes arragunk arsetards ere aken own a eg! Commander Vimes it is, then. Follow me, miss."

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