History Funny / Misfits

--> '''Nathan:''' I’ll steal from other babies! I’ll go to the park and forage for nuts and berries!
* From the season finale, Nathan, Simon and Kelly do a PowerWalk, accompanied by Music/TheProdigy's "Smack My Bitch Up".

* Some funny exchanges:

'''[[spoiler: Kelly:]]''' Thanks.\\\

* Nathan [[WeNeedADistraction creating a ridiculous distraction]] to prevent Sally from finding the "incriminating items"([[spoiler:Tony and Gary's decaying bodies]]) in her car-boot by hurling a brick at her windscreen and being as obnoxious about it as possible:

* Nathan again, as the crew stare down at [[spoiler:Sally's]] body in the freezer. He is making a comment about how messed up it is until...

** Cut to the group throwing [[spoiler: Sally's]] body off a boat... while Nathan eats a Cornetto.
* In the same scene, Nathan talks about how great immortality is, and the others point out mundane downsides... until they get to Simon, who mutters, "Everyone you love will die" in a haunted-sounding [[CreepyMonotone Creepy Monotone]].

* Simon making a joke and smiling in a slightly goofy way [[spoiler: that reminds you that even though he's now Superhoodie, it's still Simon.]]
-->'''Simon:''' Everything's going to be okay. [[spoiler: I should know, I'm from the future.]]

** From the same episode, ''everything'' about Marnie giving birth, but particularly Nathan stomping to death what he thought was an alien baby. [[spoiler:It wasn't. It was the placenta. Which splattered. All over the group.]]
--> '''Kelly:''' [[spoiler:"IT'S THE AFTERBIRTH, YOU ''DICKHEAD''!"]]
* Bless Marnie when she hears the plan to [[spoiler: steal money from Jesus to get their powers back.]]

* And when they finally manage to do so- by accident, and [[spoiler: killing him in the process]], Nathan immediately takes a wad of bills and makes the sign of the cross over "Jesus'" prone body. "Just in case it really ''is'' him!"

* In S2 E6, when Laura, [[spoiler: the new agent of the now famous ABSO 5]] asks 'Is there anything else I need to know ?'... and unfortunately [[YouDoNOTWantToKnow gets answers]].
** Well, Nathan [[YouDoNOTWantToKnow tripled]] with a girl and Kelly shagged [[spoiler:[[strike:a monkey]]... a gorilla.]]

* In Season 2 Episode 6, Nathan [[spoiler: shoots himself in the head, comes back to life, does a bow,]] and the credits roll with the title of the special: [[spoiler: "Oops, There Goes My Brains!"]] [[http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=185280461482221&set=a.185280458148888.46931.185275234816077&type=1&theater with credits rolling.]]

* Nathan in the "Vegas Special" gets caught out on using his new ability [[spoiler: as a RealityWarper]] to win at dice [[spoiler: after accidentally rolAling a ''seven''.]] What does he do to distract the guards after they corner him during his attempt to escape?
--> '''Nathan''': [[RefugeInAudacity Have you ever seen a man shit a rabbit out of his anus?]]

** Every scene with Rudy in. EVERY ONE.

* Rudy is afraid of [[spoiler:cheerleaders]].

* Alex utilizing his newfound ability to fuck the powers out of people, first on a woman ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice in a hospital bed]]'' and then on an unconscious [[spoiler: Finn]]. The latter's [[OhCrap slow realization]] of exactly what is going on is priceless.
--> '''[[spoiler: Finn]]''': ...is that what I think it is?

* Practically any scene with Abby in episode 6.

* Abby and Rudy's [[HereWeGoAgain incredible lack of reaction]] to finding out that Finn had killed the Scout leader.

* Alex and Rudy getting massive grins when they walk in on Abby and Laura having sex.
* Rudy Too opening up to Abby about his philosophical crisis as a creation of the storm.

'''Abby''': What did you do?\\

* Greg assuming that Abby is on drugs.

* Abby trying to convince Alex to shag a tortoise.

** There's also the unconcerned reaction of Abby, Alex, and Finn to seeing (an incredibly bearded) Rudy crumple to the floor and ''sob'' after learning that Jess is back. It's heartbreaking stuff, but Alex and Finn basically just ignore him completely, while Abby asks "Is he having a complete breakdown?" in a [[EmotionlessGirl disinterested tone of voice]].
* Lucas asks Abby to hug him but she misinterprets this and tells him that she's in love with her tortoise and won't have sex with Lucas. Not knowing that the tortoise was actually a guy trapped in tortoise form, a weirded-out Lucas quickly tries to assert that it's not what he meant, only for Abby to offer him a handjob instead. Lucas is taken aback by the offer and quickly asks if she'll hold him afterward, something she agrees to as intimacy. When Alex arrives to stop Lucas, he bewilderingly asks "Why's his cock out?" before a happy Abby tells him what she did, queing a look from Alex that just says "Of course you did".

* Pretty much [[EnsembleDarkHorse everything that comes out of Nathan's mouth.]]

->'''Simon:''' I'm sorry you're bald.\\

->'''Kelly''' I'll kick you so hard in the cunt your mum will feel it!\\
'''Nathan''' Her ''mum'' will feel it? How does that work?

'''Simon:''' "It's only Thursday, there's still time."

* Nathan in the "Vegas Special" gets caught out on using his new ability [[spoiler: as a RealityWarper]] to win at dice [[spoiler: after accidentally rolling a ''seven''.]] What does he do to distract the guards after they corner him during his attempt to escape?

'''Simon''': [[DudeShesInAComaNo, Rudy, that's rape]].\\

'''Alex''': ''[quietly]'' That'll be six quid.

* '''Simon:''' I'm sorry you're bald.
-->'''[[spoiler: Kelly:]]''' Thanks.
* '''Kelly''' I'll kick you so hard in the cunt your mum will feel it!
-->'''Nathan''' Her ''mum'' will feel it? How does that work?
* While you do have some sympathy for Sam, you've got to laugh at Curtis' attempts to break up with her without making her cry.
--> '''Sam:''' "You're breaking up with me with a line from ''Spider Man''?!"
* Also, Nathan [[WeNeedADistraction creating a ridiculous distraction]] to prevent Sally from finding the "incriminating items"([[spoiler:Tony and Gary's decaying bodies]]) in her car-boot by hurling a brick at her windscreen and being as obnoxious about it as possible:
-->'''Nathan:''' "It's just pure, mindless vandalism!"
-->'''Sally:''' "What is the matter with you! Are you ''mentally deficient''?!"
-->'''Nathan:''' "If I was mentally deficient, I would've missed! Check ''that'' out...bullseye!"
* "Save Me Barry!"
* Nathan's impression of Bono, which prompts this reaction when no-one gets it:
-->'''Nathan:''' "Alright, I'll give you a clue -- I'm an annoying cunt!"
-->'''Alisha:''' "Yeah, we know that."

--> '''Nathan:''' ''(over intercom)'' "They sewed up his clunge!"

** From the same episode, Nathan pushing a little old lady in a wheelchair across the dance floor--only to let her go rolling out the door when [[DistractedByTheSexy he notices Ruth]].
** Nathan's explanation of why he's on community service to Ruth, at a pensioners' party.
--> '''Nathan:''' I sexually assaulted a 90 year old.
** Nathan trying to chat up Ruth- only to end up getting blocked by an old lady wanting to dance. Cue Nathan furiously mouthing "fuck off" at her.

* From the season finale, Nathan, Simon and Kelly do a PowerWalk, accompanied by The Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up".

-->'''Simon:''' "For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong. I´ve never been this happy."
-->'''Lucy:''' "You've murdered your probation worker!"
-->'''Simon:''' "I didn't say it was perfect."
* Nathan again , as the crew stare down at [[spoiler:Sally's]] body in the freezer. He is making a comment about how messed up it is until...

* In the same scene, Nathan talks about how great immortality is, and the others point out mundane downsides... until they get to Simon, who mutters "Everyone you love will die" in a haunted-sounding [[CreepyMonotone Creepy Monotone]].

-->'''Nathan:''' "You hit him in the head with a toaster!"
-->'''Jamie:''' "He's a fucking twat!"
* Nathan and his dad have a row in the police station about each others personal flaws.
--> '''Nathan's Dad:''' "Like you've never got anything wrong? We're not so different, y'know."
--> '''Nathan:''' "We are ''completely'' different! I'm gracefully tall, you're freakishly short!"

--> '''Nathan:''' "Where're you going? That's right Dad, walk away with your tiny little legs, you ''fucking'' midget!"

-->'''Nathan:''' "And you know what they say: ''Don't fuck a wounded bear''!"

-->'''Nathan:''' "He's like a handsome shark!"
-->Even better is '''Nathan''': "How can I control myself when you're so cute and I'm so horny and there's only a few thin pieces of cotton separating our genitals?"

-->'''Simon:''' "We kill him. ''(beat)'' ....I'm joking."

-->'''Tim:''' "Where's Conti?!"
-->'''Nathan:''' ''(gestures to Simon)'' "Oh that's him, he's a ''right'' cunty."

--> '''Nathan:''' "The Good Samaritan: Walk on by!"

--> '''Nathan:''' "Think about it! It´s a fancy dress party, it´s dark, a lot´ll be wearing masks--it's the perfect opportunity to commit murder! ''(thinks about it)'' ''And incest!!''"

--> '''Simon:''' "You're exploiting the vulnerable."
--> '''Kelly:''' "Taking money off people."
--> '''Alisha:''' "Sexually assaulting girls."
--> '''Luke/Jesus:''' [[CorruptChurch "Hey, that's the Catholic Church for you."]]
--> '''Nathan:''' "He's got a point. When I was growing up in Ireland if [[PedophilePriest the priests weren't fiddling with you]], you were one of the ''ugly'' kids."

--> '''Marnie:''' ''(proudly)'' "And then we're going to kick the shit out of Jesus!"

--> '''Kelly:''' "Twenty fuckin' grand!"
--> '''Simon:''' "You sold your powers?"
--> '''Kelly:''' "Yeah mate."
--> '''Simon:''' "You shouldn't be doing this. We were given them for a reason!"
--> '''Nikki:''' "And what reason's that?"
--> '''Curtis:''' "I'll give you twenty thousand reasons for getting rid of 'em!"
--> '''Simon:''' "It's like in Superman 2 when Superman gives up his powers so that he can be with Lois Lane."
--> '''Kelly:''' "And?"
--> '''Simon:''' "General Zod took over the world!"
--> '''Curtis:''' "That's totally relevant, except [[{{TemptingFate}} there ain't no General Zod]], and that's twenty thousand pounds. Later."

--> '''Nathan:''' "I mean we did sod all with our powers but at least we never abused them. We never raped or murdered anyone."
-->'''Curtis:''' ''(points to Alisha)'' "She raped me. And we killed loads of people."
** Bonus is Alisha giving him a look that is a mix of what are you complaining about and get over it.
* In S2 E6, when Laura [[spoiler: the new agent of the now famous ABSO 5]] asks 'Is there anything else I need to know ?'... and unfortunately [[YouDoNOTWantToKnow get answers]].

* In Season 2 Episode 6, Nathan [[spoiler: shoots himself in the head, comes back to life, does a bow, ]] and the credits roll with the title of the special: [[spoiler: "Oops, There Goes My Brains!"]] [[http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=185280461482221&set=a.185280458148888.46931.185275234816077&type=1&theater with credits rolling.]]

--> '''Nathan:''' "I just realised. I haven't died this week."
--> '''Simon:''' "It's only Thursday, there's still time."

--> '''Nathan''': [[spoiler: [[RefugeInAudacity Have you ever seen a man shit a rabbit out of his anus?]] ]]

-->'''Shaun:''' "You are aware homosexuality is illegal?"

-->'''Curtis''' (to Rudy): Quit stealing the alcohol.
-->'''Rudy''': Thought you said to help meself.
-->'''Curtis''': I said stay the fuck away from the bar.
-->'''Rudy''': (absently) Yeah.

* The attempt to smuggle Jen's body out of the hospital, which involves Simon and Seth wheeling her bed out the door while trying to look as noncholant as possible. Extra hilarity points go to Rudy distracting a nurse by asking about his [[{{Squick}} prolapsed granny]], and frantically mouthing "fuck off" at Simon and Seth.

-->'''Alisha:''' He's not gay, he's the best shag I ever had!
-->'''Curtis:''' Oh, I'll just pretend I'm not here, yeah?

-->'''Rudy:''' I'm in full control over me ejaculate, now.
-->'''Kelly:''' ''All'' blokes say that; next thing you know, you've got [[{{Squick}} cum all over your face and in your hair.]]
-->'''Curtis:''' [[SarcasmMode That's a lovely image.]]

-->'''Rudy:''' You're deflecting. It's alright; take it out on your Uncle Rudy. Do it-
-->( Alisha slaps Rudy to the ground and storms off)
-->'''Rudy:''' What the fuck is your problem?!
-->'''Kelly:''' [[IronicEcho She's deflecting.]]
* Series 3 Episode 6, an episode pretty much about Rudy trying to be cured of dickfallsoff syndrome with Simon's help. Pretty much all of their interactions are hilarious, especially this one,upon seeing a drunk girl Rudy thinks he needs to have sex with to cure his condition.
--> '''Rudy''': Maybe I'll just slip it in, eh?
--> '''Simon''': No, Rudy, that's rape.
--> '''Rudy''': Is it really?
--> '''Simon''': Yes! it is!
--> '''Rudy''': Kind of a grey area, don't you think?
--> '''Simon''': No! It isn't!

** That episode has Rudy tracking down one of the three (wrong) candidates for who cursed Rudy's penis, and offering her all the money (spare change) he has in his pocket to have sex with him. Apalled, she says "You think I'm a prostitute!" and Rudy, trying to be charming (failing miserably) says, "Well you could be... if you wanted... 'cause you're so pretty."

--> '''Rudy''': You think my penis looks like a tiny slug!
--> '''Seth''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext I think you have a fucking beautiful penis!]]

-->'''Rudy''': I thought we had a will they, won't they, they probably will thing going on
-->'''Jess''': Do you suffer mental problems?

-->'''Alex''': What did you do to get community service?
-->'''Jess''': I sexually assaulted a barman.
-->'''Alex''': [quietly] That'll be six quid.

** It's whole exchange that follows between the probation worker and Curtis qualifies.

--> '''Finn''': I can't. She's... she's wasted.
--> '''Rudy''': Mate, there is no law against fucking wasted girls. It's a bloody loophole, is what it is. You understand me?
--> '''Finn''': Just so we're clear, there ''is'' a law about fucking drunk girls.
--> '''Rudy''': ''(laughs)'' Really, Finnlay. Haha..... really?
--> '''Finn''': Yes.
--> '''Rudy''': Shit.

* This exchange in the final episode is priceless between Rudy and Nadine - who at this point has been revealed to be a Nun.
--> '''Rudy''': I have misused confectionery in the most vile and vulgar manner! I've violated myself with a fucking King Size...
--> '''Nadine''': ''(kisses Rudy)''
--> '''Rudy''': ''(Immediately as he's coming out of the kiss)''...Mars Bar!

* Abby and Rudy's [[HereWeGoAgain incredible lack of reaction]] to finding out that Finn had killed the scout leader.

* Rudy's heroic shout of "I'm coming Jess", then bouncing off the door as he tries to break in and save her.

* Alex and Rudy getting massive grins when they walk in on Abbey and Laura having sex.
* Rudy Too opening up to Abbey about his philosophical crisis as a creation of the storm.
--> '''Rudy Too''': What's my place in the world? Am I a person in my own right? Will I ever find true love?
--> '''Abby''': What did you do?
--> '''Rudy Too''': Rudy One told me to stop being such a vagina.

--> '''Greg''': [[MushroomSamba Dancing with the bunny rabbits?]] ((Bursts into dance)) Aceeeeeed A A Aceeeeeeeed!
--> '''Finn''': It's sherbet.

* Greg manically pretending to gun down his charges.

** There's also the unconcerned reaction of Abbey, Alex, and Finn to seeing (an incredibly bearded) Rudy crumple to the floor and ''sob'' after learning that Jess is back. It's heartbreaking stuff, but Alex and Finn basically just ignore him completely, while Abbey asks "Is he having a complete breakdown?" in a [[EmotionlessGirl disinterested tone of voice]].
* Lucas asks Abbey to hug him but she misinterprets this and tells him that she's in love with her tortoise and won't have sex with Lucas. Not knowing that the tortoise was actually a guy trapped in tortoise form, a weirded-out Lucas quickly tries to assert that it's not what he meant, only for Abbey to offer him a handjob instead. Lucas is taken aback by the offer and quickly asks if she'll hold him afterward, something she agrees to as intimacy. When Alex arrives to stop Lucas, he bewilderingly asks "Why's his cock out?" before a happy Abbey tells him what she did, queing a look from Alex that just says "Of course you did".

* Lucas asks Abbey to hug him but she misinterprets this and tells him that she's in love with her tortoise and won't have sex with Lucas. Not knowing that the tortoise was actually a guy trapped in tortoise form, a weirded-out Lucas quickly tries to assert that it's not what he meant, only for Abbey to offer him a handjob instead. Lucas is taken aback by the offer and quickly asks if she'll hold him afterwards, something she agrees to as intimacy. When arrives to stop Lucas, he asks "Why's his cock out?" before a happy Abbey tells him what she did.

** When Ollie introduces himself, he reveals that his crime was vandalising a power station that was letting off severe carbon monoxide emissions. Cue Nathan pretending to let off [[GassHole his own carbon monoxide emissions]] with a loud groan. Both Ollie's "WTF" reaction and the other Misfits' [[CorpSing corpsing]] seal it.

* In the same scene, Nathan talks about how great immortality is, and the others point out mundane downsides... until they get to Simon, who mutters "Everyone you love will die" in a haunted-sounding [[CreepyMonotone]].

* In [=S2E2=], while Nathan and Jamie are talking, Nathan is grilling a sandwich. With a ''clothes iron.'' This troper and her mother burst into laughter.

** And the this:

* -->'''Kelly''' I'll kick you so hard in the cunt your mum will feel it!

* Rudy drawing a pouty feminine face on a paper bag, which he explains is a "sex bag" for Jess to wear so that he isn't distracted into impotence by the fact that he actually loves her.

** There's also the unconcerned reaction of Abbey, Alex, and Finn to seeing (an incredibly bearded) Rudy crumple to the floor and ''sob'' after learning that Jess is back. It's heartbreaking stuff, but Alex and Finn basically just ignore him completely, while Abbey asks "Is he having a complete breakdown?" in a [[EmotionlessGirl dull tone of voice]].

* Series 3 Episode 6, an episode pretty much about Rudy trying to be cured of dickfallsoff syndrome with Simon's help. Pretty much all of their interactions are hilarious, especially this one.
(upon seeing a drunk girl Rudy thinks he needs to have sex with to cure his condition)

--> That episode has Rudy tracking down one of the three (wrong) candidates for who cursed Rudy's penis, and offering her all the money (spare change) he has in his pocket to have sex with him. Apalled, she says "You think I'm a prostitute!" and Rudy, trying to be charming (failing miserably) says, "Well you could be... if you wanted... 'cause you're so pretty."

* Nathan again , as the crew stare down at [[spoiler:Sally's body]] in the freezer. He is making a comment about how messed up it is until...

** Cut to the group throwing Sally's body off a boat... while Nathan eats a Cornetto.
* The entire exchange between Nathan and [[spoiler: his brother]] about hitting [[spoiler: their father]] in the head with a toaster.

* Every scene about [[spoiler: Nathan hitting on Simon]] in [=S02E03=].

--> '''Luke:''' [[CorruptChurch "Hey, that's the Catholic Church for you."]]

* Simon asking Alisha if she 'likes food.'