History Funny / MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet

--> '''Shellhammer:''' Maybe he's only a ''little'' crazy. Like [[EccentricArtist painters, or composers]], or [[AcceptableTargets some of those men in Washington]]!

** The fact that Fred ‘’subpoenaed the DA’s son.''

--> '''Susan''': But when he spoke Dutch to that girl he was just so-
--> '''Doris''': ''Susan'', I speak ''French'', but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc!

--> '''Mrs. Mara''': Sometimes I wish I married a butcher or a plumber.
--> '''District Attorney''': My dear, if I lose this hearing, you may very well get your wish.

---> '''Judge''': ''(sadly shaking his head)'' The District Attorney's a Republican.
** Earlier in the movie, Judge Harper is at his home, where his campaign manager is trying to tell him this case is political suicide for him. In the middle of all this, Harper's visiting grandchildren enter the room, having been gotten ready for bed by their grandma. Harper holds out his arms asking the two for a goodnight kiss... and the two march by him with an angry "hmph!". The Judge expresses his bafflement that his own grandchildren would snub him like this... and his wife snaps back, "I don't blame them. Any man who'd put Santa Claus on trial for lunacy!" Poor guy is just getting it from ALL sides!

-->'''District Attorney''': Objection!
-->'''Judge''' (in a sing-song tone): O-VER-ruled.

* Kris's psychological evaluation with Dr. Sawyer. He notes Sawyer's multitude of nervous habits, and flips the script by questioning ''him'' about his psychological well-being and home life!

* Doris has asked for Kris' employment card to learn his real name. Too bad the card says "Kris Kringle", but that's not all. He gives his date of birth as "As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth" and lists the eight reindeer as his next of kin. Doris looks up in shock, then she tries to get Susan away from this nutjob, using a gentle voice as she tries to not trigger whatever psychotic behavior Kris may be susceptible to.

-->'''Judge''': Mr. Collins, would you like to cross-examine... ''[mischievous smile]'' ...your wife?

-->'''Doris''': It can't be! it must have been left by the people who moved out.
-->'''Fred''': (stunned) Maybe...Maybe I didn't do such a wonderful thing after all.

--> '''Judge''': ''(sadly shaking his head)'' The District Attorney's a Republican.

* Kris attempting to blow a gum bubble. It's classic that we don't see this attempt, only Susan's reactions to it, and the cut to his efforts to remove the gum from his beard.

* Doris has asked for Kris' employment card to learn his real name. Too bad the card says "Kris Kringle," but that's not all. He gives his date of birth as "As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth" and lists the eight reindeer as his next of kin. Doris looks up in shock, then she tries to get Susan away from this nutjob, using a gentle voice as she tries to not trigger whatever psychotic behavior Kris may be susceptible to.

** Particularly the exchange in which the campaign manager explains to the Judge what will happen if he rules that there is no Santa Claus. He describes all the businesses and organizations that rely on Santa's image, and how all of them will vote against the Judge in the next election. He ends by telling the Judge that if he rules there is no Santa Claus, then he will only get two votes: his own, and the District Attorney's[[note]] making it clear that ''not even his campaign manager'' is going to vote for him[[/note]].

** Particularly the exchange in which the campaign manager explains to the Judge what will happen if he rules that there is no Santa Claus. He describes all the businesses and organizations that rely on Santa's image, and how all of them will vote against the Judge in the next election. He ends by telling the Judge that if he rules there is no Santa Claus, then he will only get two votes: his own, and the District Attorney's [[note]] making it clear that ''not even his campaign manager'' is going to vote for him[[/note]].

** Earlier in the movie, Judge Harper is at his home, where his campaign manager is trying to tell him this case is political suicide for him. In the middle of all this, Harper's visiting grandchildren enter the room, having been gotten ready for bed by their grandma. Harper holds out his arms asking the two for a goodnight kiss...and the two march by him with an angry "hmph!" The Judge expresses his bafflement that his own grandchildren would snub him like this...and his wife snaps back, "I don't blame them. Any man who'd put Santa Claus on trial for lunacy!" Poor guy is just getting it from ALL sides!

-->'''Susan:''' Sometimes people grow very large, [[InnocentlyInsensitive but that's abnormal.]]