History Funny / MarkKermode

* The entirety of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaPsrmEkbuU his review]] of ''Film/TheNun'', from his description of the titular character ("The Nun basically does a Marilyn Manson impression, and goes 'Woo! Nun!') to the succession of [[IncrediblyLamePun nun puns]] at the end (which he thought up during the screening to keep himself awake).

* The entirety of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaPsrmEkbuU his review]] of ''Film/The Nun'', from his description of the titular character ("The Nun basically does a Marilyn Manson impression, and goes 'Woo! Nun!') to the succession of [[IncrediblyLamePun nun puns]] at the end (which he thought up during the screening to keep himself awake).

* The entirety of his review of ''The Nun'', from his description of the titular character ("The Nun basically does a Marilyn Manson impression, and goes 'Woo! Nun!') to the succession of [[IncrediblyLamePun nun puns]] at the end (which he thought up during the screening to keep himself awake).

* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8HVurzYdUw review]] of ''The Lady in the Water'', especially the first few minutes.

* The ''Get Smart'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk-rGVKK4Yk review]], made hilarious by Mark's impression of Creator/AnneHathaway's agent.
-->'''Mark''': ''[as her agent]'' I know she was in ''The Princess Diaries'' and everybody loves that, [[RunningGag but she's got great legs]]...

* He [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lHaUFBrzfI describes]] the concept of the ''Santa Clause'' series as "''Film/MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet'' meets Creator/DavidCronenberg's ''Film/TheFly1986''." He also compared the third installment to tertiary syphilis.

* The Creator/CameronDiaz comedy ''The Other Woman'' gets a thorough [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJXluqN9-X4 going over]] by an unimpressed Mark ("Hey! Go crazy, empowerment! Woo!").

* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BoL5XICGZg disparaging review]] of ''Film Socialisme'', in which he says that the film is not so much a case of [[Lierature/TheEmperorsNewClothes "The Emperor has no clothes"]] as "The Emperor is running down the street, waving his ''[[UnusualEuphemism nouvelle vagues]]'' in your face, with a camera secreted somewhere the sun don't shine."

** "The trailer has got Danny Dyer standing on a rake and Neil Morrissey sitting on a cake, wich basically tells you where we are."

* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quFZFYIHYUg Kermode Uncut: A Transformers Christmas Doohicky]]''. It's Christmas Day, and Mark settles down to open the presents he received from Michael Bay and [=McG=]...

* The very brief and somewhat mournful [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1A5NXP8HUg review]] of ''Bad Grandpa''. He has ''very'' little to say about it.

** The ''Iron Man'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIlMu2nFO7w impressions]].

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMfeM9LhAWM "The Top Ten Most Boring Film Titles"]]. "''Film/TheTown''? I mean really, ''The Town''?!"

** The fact that the title of ''Film/ThePostman'' allowed John Norton to write a review under the headline [[WesternAnimation/PostmanPat "Post-Apocalyptic Pat"]].

* The opening sentence of [[http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/mar/08/unfinished-business-review-ghastly-vince-vaughn-comedy this review]] of ''Unfinished Business''.
-->"Jesus wept, Vince Vaughn has done it again -- kicking the putrefying corpse of feel-bad scrotal comedy around our screens with the dead-eyed stare of the fiscally medicated."

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q17M5YpSkI His thoughts]] on the horribly schmaltzy ''Elizabethtown''.

** And that's not all -- he then goes on the compare it to the VomitChainReaction scene from ''Problem Child 2''.

* To an extent, the ''Revolver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooPdPYZpR2s review]]. Here is a film that is so bad, Mark actually feels ''sorry'' for [[Creator/GuyRitchie the man who made it]].

* Another insanely funny classic is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzfwDkwUGnM his review of]] Zack Snyder's ''Film/SuckerPunch''.

* His review of ''Mamma Mia!''. The Good Doctor's reaction to the film isn't necessarily what you might expect.

* In the ''Film/ValentinesDay'' review, he mentions that it was directed by the man who also directed ''Pretty Woman'', which was written by the man who wrote and directed ''Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death''. Naturally, Mark suggests renting ''Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death'' and watching that as a Valentine's Day film instead of ''Valentine's Day'', because "it's funnier in every possible way and far, far more romantic."

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVnYGFeFNkY The Good Night review]], with [[SoBadItsGood hilariously bad]] Penelope Cruz impression.

-->'''Mark''': She's Werner Herzog's Bavarian cousin.

-->'''Mark''': So, bear in mind that ''Observe And Report'' is ''not'' ''Paul Blart: Mall Cop'', ok? So Seth Rogen plays a character who's a mall cop, like Paul Blart, and he's useless and pudgy, like Paul Blart. He has a condition that requires medication, like Paul Blart, he's got a crush on a girl at the mall, like Paul Blart, he lives with his mother, like Paul Blart, he dreams of firing a gun, like Paul Blart, but like Paul Blart he can't actually have a gun. There's a crime happening in the mall, like in ''Paul Blart: Mall Cop'', solving it will be his redemption, like in ''Paul Blart: Mall Cop'', and though everyone will laugh at him on the way, like ''Paul Blart: Mall Cop'', he will end up triumphing, like ''Paul Blart: Mall Cop''.

* In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnVa5gH0tTY review]] of ''Body of Lies'', Mark says that you can tell the film is trying to be serious because of its aesthetic, the fact that it's incomprehensible, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and because Russell Crowe is fat]]. There follows an amusing discussion about Russell Crowe's weight gain.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMfeM9LhAWM "The Top Ten Most Boring Film Titles"]]. "''The Town''? I mean really, ''The Town''?!"

** Towards the end [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdIl-sZhM0E a video about the most offensive film characters of recent times]], he mentions ''Keith Lemon: The Movie''. Mark found it offensive "''as a human being''".

* The AMAZING ''Film/SexAndTheCity 2'' review, including Mark singing The Internationale. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHeQeHstrsc Takes a little while to get going, but well worth the wait]].

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q17M5YpSkI His thoughts]] on the horribly schmaltzy ''Elizabethtown''. "STEWARDESS! The barf bag, please!"

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q17M5YpSkI His thoughts]] on the horribly schmaltzy ''Elizabethtown''. "STEWARDESS! The barf bag please!"

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q17M5YpSkI His thoughts]] on the horribly schmaltzy ''Elizabethtown''.
-->'''Mark''': ... At which point it was all I could do to stop from standing up and shouting "''STEWARDESS! The barf bag please!''"

* Very few films have left Mark speechless - but ''Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJjQz7U04sQ actually managed to do it]].

-->"Jesus wept, Vince Vaughn has done it again - kicking the putrefying corpse of feel-bad scrotal comedy around our screens with the dead-eyed stare of the fiscally medicated."

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMfeM9LhAWM "The Top Ten Most Boring Film Titles"]]. "''The Town''? I mean really, ''The Town''?!

** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOaDpN6h6wA His reaction]] to the news of a fourth ''Transformers'' film. "Earlier this week I woke up to some very distressing news...", reads the description.

* His [[[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmdRXsk64h4 utter confusion]] as to why ''[[Music/StatusQuo Bula Quo!]]'' even exists.

* The ''Bula Quo!'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmdRXsk64h4 review]]. The film baffled Mark because he could think of no reason for it to exist. He claims that not only did he struggle to stay awake, he struggled to stay ''alive''.

* The ''Film/MarleyAndMe'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nki5M-_EVLU review]]. Apparently there is such as thing as [[TastesLikeDiabetes "sentimentality porn'']].

** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZJGKCjTnP4 the actual review]], he reveals that he decided that rummaging around for a missing five pence piece amongst all the gunge and detritus down the side of the cinema seat was actually more pleasant than watching the film.

-->'''Mark:''' Like the nation does.

-->'''Mark:''' "One minute, he's looking for Bigfoot, the next minute they're putting paper mache hats on lions, and there's a bit about the teacher... I mean, what's all that about?" And I said: "That's the death of narrative cinema." [[Main/SelfDepreciation And then he told me to shut up and stop showing off.]]

* To an extent, the ''Revolver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooPdPYZpR2s review]]. Here is a film that is so bad, Mark actually feels ''sorry'' for [[Creaotr/GuyRitchie the man who made it]].

* He [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lHaUFBrzfI describes]] the concept of the ''Santa Clause'' series as "''Film/MiracleOnThirtyFourthStreet'' meets Creator/DavidCronenberg's ''Film/TheFly''." He also compared the third installment to tertiary syphilis.