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'''John:''' Hold on! ''Hold on!'' Saying "You love it," after coercing her into hugging a box is ''gross!'' And it's frankly telling that on [=YouTube=], and this is true, comments are disabled for that video. Persumably because Amazon knew that the only reasonable response to this is "Fuck everything about this!"

to:

'''John:''' Hold on! ''Hold on!'' Saying "You love it," after coercing her into hugging a box is ''gross!'' And it's frankly telling that on [=YouTube=], and this is true, comments are disabled for that video. Persumably Presumably because Amazon knew that the only reasonable response to this is "Fuck everything about this!"



--->'''Narrator:''' Every day, tousand of things arrive and Sean goes to find them! Tell us about yourself, Sean.\\

to:

--->'''Narrator:''' Every day, tousand thousands of things arrive and Sean goes to find them! Tell us about yourself, Sean.\\



'''Narrator:''' Lisa here backs your stuff in boxes. Don't you, Lisa?\\

to:

'''Narrator:''' Lisa here backs packs your stuff in boxes. Don't you, Lisa?\\



** John recalls how as a young journalist, Johnson was fired by Times of London for completely making a quote:
--->'''John:''' His editor claims that Johnson "was the single worst employee he's ever had" and "skipped many work days to hang out with his best friend, Jeffrey Epstein". Which is terrible! It's not true, I made that quote up! But now you can see how it is to fabricate them!

to:

** John recalls how as a young journalist, Johnson was fired by Times of London for completely making up a quote:
--->'''John:''' His editor claims that Johnson "was the single worst employee he's ever had" and "skipped many work days to hang out with his best friend, Jeffrey Epstein". Which is terrible! It's not true, I made that quote up! But now you can see how easy it is to fabricate them!



--->'''Reporter:''' I've spoken to one figure, who said that working with Boris Johnson is like walking a few feet behind a horse shovelling its shit.
** Oliver sums up Johnson by comparing seeing Creator/HughGrant in ''Film/FourWeddingsAndAFuneral'' vs [[WhatTheHellCastingAgency having him in]] ''Film/United93''. Oliver's re-entactment on what that would look like being priceless.

to:

--->'''Reporter:''' I've spoken to one figure, who said that working with Boris Johnson is like walking a few feet behind a horse shovelling shoveling its shit.
** Oliver sums up Johnson by comparing seeing Creator/HughGrant in ''Film/FourWeddingsAndAFuneral'' vs [[WhatTheHellCastingAgency having him in]] ''Film/United93''. Oliver's re-entactment re-enactment on what that would look like being priceless.



--->'''John:''' Which means that being a firefighter in prison, [[ADegreeInUseless is not unlike being an Art History Major in college]]. It maybe be fun while you're in there, but you're ''not'' going to be doing it once you get out! Do you hear that, Vessali? You're going to work in human resources. You're going to have a favorite coffee mug and a throw pillow that says "It's Wine'O Clock Somewhere!" And You're going to stare out the window, yearning for the sweet release of death. Just. Like. ''Everybody. Else!''

to:

--->'''John:''' Which means that being a firefighter in prison, [[ADegreeInUseless is not unlike being an Art History Major in college]]. It maybe be fun while you're in there, but you're ''not'' going to be doing it once you get out! Do you hear that, Vessali? You're going to work in human resources. You're going to have a favorite coffee mug and a throw pillow that says "It's Wine'O Clock Somewhere!" And You're you're going to stare out the window, yearning for the sweet release of death. Just. Like. ''Everybody. Else!''


** On racial bias, the racist belief that black patients are drug dealers causing a black woman with Lupus to become afraid of visiting the doctor, and John sympathizes.

to:

** On racial bias, the racist belief that black patients are drug dealers causing had caused a black woman with Lupus to become afraid of visiting the doctor, and John sympathizes.



to:

* On Bias in Medicine:
** As an example of gender bias in medicine, a clip is played of Katherine Leon, a woman with heart problems, being denied medical attention and told to "Go home". John has this to say in response.
--->'''John:''' Wow, that doctor managed to find literally the only time in which telling someone to go home is bad advice. Cause, having a bad day at work? Just go home! At a party, stuck to a guy who wants to talk about bitcoin? Go home! You're on second, and your buddy grounds a single into left field, the outfielder picks it up and throws it to first as you round third but you realize he's overthrown? Go home! Go home!
** On racial bias, the racist belief that black patients are drug dealers causing a black woman with Lupus to become afraid of visiting the doctor, and John sympathizes.
--->'''John:''' Of course you'd be frightened to go to the doctor if you feel they treat you like a drug dealer. I'm terrified of them, and the worst thing doctors ever say to me is 'Mr. Oliver, you're 42, and you should no longer need to be bribed with a lollipop to get a flu shot'. But I want one! I want a wowwipop. I've been very brave, give me a wowwipop.


--->'''John:''' Which means that being a firefighter in prison, is not unlike being an Art History Major in college. It maybe be fun while you're in there, but you're ''not'' going to be doing it once you get out! Do you hear that, Vessali? You're going to work in human resources. You're going to have a favorite coffee mug and a throw pillow that says "It's Wine'O Clock Somewhere!" And You're going to stare out the window, yearning for the sweet release of death. Just. Like. ''Everybody. Else!''

to:

--->'''John:''' Which means that being a firefighter in prison, [[ADegreeInUseless is not unlike being an Art History Major in college.college]]. It maybe be fun while you're in there, but you're ''not'' going to be doing it once you get out! Do you hear that, Vessali? You're going to work in human resources. You're going to have a favorite coffee mug and a throw pillow that says "It's Wine'O Clock Somewhere!" And You're going to stare out the window, yearning for the sweet release of death. Just. Like. ''Everybody. Else!''




to:

** And the piece de resistance - making a world-record breaking cake showcasing that particular image.

Added DiffLines:

** John actually doesn't begrudge Berdimuhamedov for his bizarre obsession with Turkmenistan's national horse, the Akhal-Teke, explaining that [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial while he himself doesn't want to fuck horses, if he]] ''[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial were]]'' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial a horse, he'd totally be down for fucking an Akhal-Teke.]]
** Playing a clip of Berdimuhamedov [[EpicFail faceplanting during a horse race]], noting he probably finds it very embarrassing and would prefer people see it as little as possible, [[TakeThat then playing it twice more, once with a closeup.]]


** In response to a rumour that Berdimuhamedov had died, the Turkmenistan government aired clips of...[[NotHelpingYourCase not Muhamedov, but other people doing physical activities that Muhamedov was supposedly also doing.]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Including doing donuts around a flaming crater.]] [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously.]]

to:

** In response to a rumour that Berdimuhamedov had died, the Turkmenistan government aired clips of...of Berdimuhamedov doing certain activities...[[NotHelpingYourCase not Muhamedov, but other people doing very physical activities activities, with the videos being shot in a way that Muhamedov was supposedly also doing.it couldn't be proven that Berdimuhamedov actually did them, and in virtually all cases being clearly edited.]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Including doing donuts around a flaming crater.]] [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously.]]

Added DiffLines:

* On President of Turkmenistan Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov:
** In response to a rumour that Berdimuhamedov had died, the Turkmenistan government aired clips of...[[NotHelpingYourCase not Muhamedov, but other people doing physical activities that Muhamedov was supposedly also doing.]] [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Including doing donuts around a flaming crater.]] [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously.]]


* On Prison Labor: John opens the segment with a very poorly aged clip from a once-beloved children's entertainer explaining what prison is.
-->'''Creator/BillCosby:''' All those people who are in prison right now were kids once just like you. (''cut'') And then somewhere along the way they did something wrong, something dumb. (''cut'') Whatever it was, it probably started small, became bigger, [[HarsherInHindsight maybe they even got away with it at first and thought they'd never caught]]. But they were wrong. Now, they're in prison.\\
'''John:''' Yes, they are! It's almost like ''they'' should've really seen this coming.

to:

* On Prison Labor: Labor:
**
John opens the segment with a very poorly aged clip from a once-beloved children's entertainer explaining what prison is.
-->'''Creator/BillCosby:''' --->'''Creator/BillCosby:''' All those people who are in prison right now were kids once just like you. (''cut'') And then somewhere along the way they did something wrong, something dumb. (''cut'') Whatever it was, it probably started small, became bigger, [[HarsherInHindsight maybe they even got away with it at first and thought they'd never caught]]. But they were wrong. Now, they're in prison.\\
'''John:''' Yes, they are! It's almost like ''they'' should've really seen this coming. coming.
** John points out how the state of California employed some prisoners to help with the firefighting effort during the great forest fires, but also how, when said prisoners' terms are up, they are not allowed to use those skills they learned in civilian life, because California works under a law that bars people with a criminal record from working in emergency services.
--->'''John:''' Which means that being a firefighter in prison, is not unlike being an Art History Major in college. It maybe be fun while you're in there, but you're ''not'' going to be doing it once you get out! Do you hear that, Vessali? You're going to work in human resources. You're going to have a favorite coffee mug and a throw pillow that says "It's Wine'O Clock Somewhere!" And You're going to stare out the window, yearning for the sweet release of death. Just. Like. ''Everybody. Else!''


[[/folder]]

to:

[[/folder]][[/folder]]
----


-->'''Bill Cosby''': All those people who are in prison right now were kids once just like you. (''cut'') And then somewhere along the way they did something wrong, something dumb. (''cut'') Whatever it was, it probably started small, became bigger, [[HarsherInHindsight maybe they even got away with it at first and thought they'd never caught]]. But they were wrong. Now, they're in prison.
-->'''John''': Yes, they are! It's almost like ''they'' should've really seen this coming.

to:

-->'''Bill Cosby''': -->'''Creator/BillCosby:''' All those people who are in prison right now were kids once just like you. (''cut'') And then somewhere along the way they did something wrong, something dumb. (''cut'') Whatever it was, it probably started small, became bigger, [[HarsherInHindsight maybe they even got away with it at first and thought they'd never caught]]. But they were wrong. Now, they're in prison.
-->'''John''':
prison.\\
'''John:'''
Yes, they are! It's almost like ''they'' should've really seen this coming.


** John also brings up how Palmer is constructing a replica of the ''Titanic'' called ''Titanic II'', and lists all the things wrong with that idea: the name is too simplistic, especially since the real ''Titanic's'' actual sister ships had better ones; the name ''Titanic'' is synonymous only with size and sinking, but there are larger modern cruise liners, so now it just invokes sinking; and all of Palmer's talk of reliving the spirit of [[Film/{{Titanic}} Jack and Rose]] is nonsense since they weren't real people.

to:

** John also brings up how Palmer is constructing a replica of the ''Titanic'' called ''Titanic II'', and lists all the things wrong with that idea: the name is too simplistic, especially since the real ''Titanic's'' actual sister ships had better ones; the name ''Titanic'' is synonymous only with size and sinking, but there are larger modern cruise liners, so now it just invokes sinking; and all of Palmer's talk of reliving the spirit of [[Film/{{Titanic}} [[Film/Titanic1997 Jack and Rose]] is nonsense since they weren't real people.


** This commentary on Amazon's video trying to portray their warehouses as funny, breezy workplaces

to:

** This commentary on Amazon's video trying to portray their warehouses as funny, breezy workplacesworkplaces:



--->'''John:''' "The French looked at the dining table as a canvas upon which to create exceptional cuisine, while the British saw a way to basically invent mouse tennis!"

to:

--->'''John:''' "The The French looked at the dining table as a canvas upon which to create exceptional cuisine, while the British saw a way to basically invent mouse tennis!"tennis!



** After Johnson accuses the EU of waging a war on Prawn Cocktail Crisps, John notes that it's a real snack, which happened "when a country forgoes food in favour of playing whiff waff"
** John later tastes some Prawn Cocktail Crisps, gagging and saying that "It's like eating a cremated mermaid, but in a bad way"

to:

** After Johnson accuses the EU of waging a war on Prawn Cocktail Crisps, John notes that it's a real snack, which happened "when a country forgoes food in favour of playing whiff waff"
waff".
** John later tastes some Prawn Cocktail Crisps, gagging and saying that "It's like eating a cremated mermaid, but in a bad way"way!"



--->'''John:''' "That is an appalling comment that leaves a disgusting taste in your mouth......much like the Shrimp Crisp Crusts that has very much voted to remain on my fucking tongue!"

to:

--->'''John:''' "That That is an appalling comment that leaves a disgusting taste in your mouth......much like the Shrimp Crisp Crusts that has very much voted to remain on my fucking tongue!"tongue!



--->'''Reporter:''' "I've spoken to one figure, who said that working with Boris Johnson is like walking a few feet behind a horse shovelling its shit."

to:

--->'''Reporter:''' "I've I've spoken to one figure, who said that working with Boris Johnson is like walking a few feet behind a horse shovelling its shit."



* On Prison Labor
** John opens the segment with a very poorly aged clip from a once-beloved children's entertainer explaining what prison is.
--->'''Bill Cosby''': All those people who are in prison right now were kids once just like you. (''cut'') And then somewhere along the way they did something wrong, something dumb (''cut'') Whatever it was, it probably started small, became bigger, [[HarsherInHindsight maybe they even got away with it at first and thought they'd never caught]]. But they were wrong. Now, they're in prison.
--->'''John''': Yes, they are! It's almost like ''they'' should've really seen this coming.

to:

* On Prison Labor
**
Labor: John opens the segment with a very poorly aged clip from a once-beloved children's entertainer explaining what prison is.
--->'''Bill -->'''Bill Cosby''': All those people who are in prison right now were kids once just like you. (''cut'') And then somewhere along the way they did something wrong, something dumb dumb. (''cut'') Whatever it was, it probably started small, became bigger, [[HarsherInHindsight maybe they even got away with it at first and thought they'd never caught]]. But they were wrong. Now, they're in prison.
--->'''John''': -->'''John''': Yes, they are! It's almost like ''they'' should've really seen this coming.

Added DiffLines:

** Oliver sums up Johnson by comparing seeing Creator/HughGrant in ''Film/FourWeddingsAndAFuneral'' vs [[WhatTheHellCastingAgency having him in]] ''Film/United93''. Oliver's re-entactment on what that would look like being priceless.


'''Narrator:''' ''(back to threatening-sounding)'' But until then. ''Hug the box'', Jackie.\\

to:

'''Narrator:''' ''(back to threatening-sounding)'' But until then. then: ''Hug the box'', Jackie.\\


'''Jackie:''' Yeah... I get it...\\

to:

'''Jackie:''' ''(resigned)'' Yeah... I get it...\\

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