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Zero-context natter


* The TakeThat at Creator/StephenieMeyer.
** What, you mean ''the entire story?''
*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]
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to:

* When Edward drags Bella to the meadow to show her that he sparkles in the sunlight, she asks him why he's going to such elaborate measures to tell her that he's gay.
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-->Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[SupernaturalGoldEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored.

to:

-->Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[SupernaturalGoldEyes (is ([[SupernaturalGoldEyes is that even a natural eye color?)]] color?]]) and today they were pond-scum colored.
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* After finding out Edward dragged her off to Vegas to get hitched without her consent, Bella's next two diary entries are titled "Day Who Gives a Fuck", "Day Don't Give a Shit", and "Day Fuck Everything".

to:

* After finding out Edward dragged her off to Vegas to get hitched without her consent, Bella's next two three diary entries are titled "Day Who Gives a Fuck", "Day Don't Give a Shit", and "Day Fuck Everything".

Added: 965

Changed: 571

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Put entries in chronological order and added my own for good measure


While pretty much the entire fic is hilarious from being told from the perspective of a FirstPersonSmartass version of Bella, here are some gems:

!!Chapter 1



* Bella's description of Edward's eyes.
-->Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[SupernaturalGoldEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored.



* [[ClusterFBomb "Oh, fucking fuck. Just fan-fucking-tastic."]]
* The TakeThat at Creator/StephenieMeyer.
** What, you mean ''the entire story?''
*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]
* Bella's description of Edward's eyes in Chapter 1.
** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[SupernaturalGoldEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored."
* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3]], rather than adapt ''Eclipse'', [[TakeThat only contains these two sentences]]:

to:


!!Chapter 2
* [[ClusterFBomb "Oh, fucking fuck. Just fan-fucking-tastic."]]
* The TakeThat at Creator/StephenieMeyer.
** What, you mean ''the entire story?''
*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]
*
Bella's description response]] to Edward standing in the middle of Edward's eyes the road in Chapter 1.
** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[SupernaturalGoldEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored."
the path of her truck:
-->Oh, fucking ''fuck''. Just fan-fucking-tastic.

!!Chapter 3
* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3]], rather Rather than adapt ''Eclipse'', the chapter [[TakeThat only contains these two sentences]]:


Added DiffLines:


!!Chapter 4
* This paragraph:
-->I would say that this town is crazy, except he [Jacob] doesn't even live in this town. Maybe this whole state. Maybe the water in Oregon is just spiked with the crazysauce. I've been drinking the crazysauce, too, so I guess that means I'm crazy too. Whatever. I don't even know.
* After finding out Edward dragged her off to Vegas to get hitched without her consent, Bella's next two diary entries are titled "Day Who Gives a Fuck", "Day Don't Give a Shit", and "Day Fuck Everything".
* The TakeThat at Creator/StephenieMeyer.
** What, you mean ''the entire story?''
*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]

Added: 4

Changed: 9

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* Bella's description of Edward's eyes in chapter 1.

to:

* Bella's description of Edward's eyes in chapter Chapter 1.



* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3]], rather than adapt ''Eclipse'', [[TakeThat only contains these two sentences:]]
-->''Eclipse'' doesn't get a parody chapter because nothing happened in ''Eclipse''.
-->Please enjoy the next chapter instead.

to:

* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3]], rather than adapt ''Eclipse'', [[TakeThat only contains these two sentences:]]
sentences]]:
-->''Eclipse'' doesn't get a parody chapter because nothing happened in ''Eclipse''.
-->Please
''Eclipse''.\\
Please
enjoy the next chapter instead.instead.
----

Added: 125

Changed: 304

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* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3.]] It's actually kind of hard to pin-point ''one'' exact moment, though, given how [[spoiler:no, sorry, pulling your leg:]] and [[spoiler:"''Eclipse'' doesn't get a parody chapter because nothing happened in ''Eclipse''."]] and not to mention [[spoiler:"Please enjoy the next chapter instead."]], just... wow.

to:

* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3.]] It's actually kind of hard to pin-point ''one'' exact moment, though, given how [[spoiler:no, sorry, pulling your leg:]] and [[spoiler:"''Eclipse'' 3]], rather than adapt ''Eclipse'', [[TakeThat only contains these two sentences:]]
-->''Eclipse''
doesn't get a parody chapter because nothing happened in ''Eclipse''."]] and not to mention [[spoiler:"Please ''Eclipse''.
-->Please
enjoy the next chapter instead."]], just... wow.
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More accurate.


** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored."

to:

** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes [[SupernaturalGoldEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored."
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None


* The TakeThat at StephenieMeyer.

to:

* The TakeThat at StephenieMeyer.Creator/StephenieMeyer.
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List of FunnyMoments for the fanfic ''Fanfic/IfBellaWereSane''.
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** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored."

to:

** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored.""
* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5187507/3/If-Bella-Were-Sane Chapter 3.]] It's actually kind of hard to pin-point ''one'' exact moment, though, given how [[spoiler:no, sorry, pulling your leg:]] and [[spoiler:"''Eclipse'' doesn't get a parody chapter because nothing happened in ''Eclipse''."]] and not to mention [[spoiler:"Please enjoy the next chapter instead."]], just... wow.
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* "I really better stay away from him. He looks kind of mentally unstable. It'd totally ruin my day to be raped, killed and dumped in a trash can behind a McDonalds somewhere."

to:

* "I really better stay away from him. He looks kind of mentally unstable. It'd totally ruin my day to be raped, killed and dumped in a trash can behind a McDonalds UsefulNotes/McDonalds somewhere."
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** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored.

to:

** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored."
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None


*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]

to:

*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]Yep!]]
* Bella's description of Edward's eyes in chapter 1.
** "Yesterday I could have sworn his eyes were yellowish [[KaleidoscopeEyes (is that even a natural eye color?)]] and today they were pond-scum colored.
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None


** What, you mean ''the entire story?''

to:

** What, you mean ''the entire story?''story?''
*** [[BluntYes Yep!]]
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None


* The TakeThat at StephenieMeyer.

to:

* The TakeThat at StephenieMeyer.StephenieMeyer.
** What, you mean ''the entire story?''
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None

Added DiffLines:

List of FunnyMoments for the fanfic ''Fanfic/IfBellaWereSane''.
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* [[ClusterFBomb "Oh, fucking fuck. Just fan-fucking-tastic."]]

to:

* [[ClusterFBomb "Oh, fucking fuck. Just fan-fucking-tastic."]]"]]
* The TakeThat at StephenieMeyer.

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