History Funny / HarryPotterAndThePortraitOfWhatLookedLikeALargePileOfAsh

* The poetic language is followed by a much simpler statement: [[BeigeProse "Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good"]].

* Ron is tap dancing when he first arrives on the scene... [[MoodWhiplash and then]] [[BlackComedyCannibalism he eats Hermione's family]]. He's also wearing a "Ron shirt", which is just as bad as him.

* Ron observes that the door to the castle is closed... then, a ghost named, of all things, Mr. Staircase, appears and declares, "Locked!". The trio then start "screaming about how closed it [is] and asking it to be replaced with a small orb". Eventually, Hermione figures out the password: "BEEF WOMEN!"

* Harry [[EyeScream tears his eyes out]] and throws them into the forest upon noticing Voldemort, who then raises his eyebrows at the now-blind Harry, [[DidntThinkThisThrough "who could not see anything at the moment"]].

* Harry mutters, "Ron's the handsome one", and then when the Death Eaters' [[YourHeadAsplode heads blow up]], he thinks, "Not so handsome now." And as he's thinking, he's [[ImAHumanitarian dipping Hermione in hot sauce]]!

* Harry [[EyeScream tears his eyes out]] and throws them into the forest upon noticing Voldemort, who then raises his eyebrows at the now-blind Harry, "who could not see anything at the moment"]].

* The poetic language is followed by a much simpler statement: "Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good".

** Not too long afterward, Harry [[InvertedTrope does the opposite of]] [[FailedASpotCheck failing a spot check]]: he detects that Voldemort is behind him. Being able to tell someone is behind you is reasonable, but being able to tell ''who it is'' isn't.

* Harry [[EyeScream tears his eyes out]] and throws them into the forest upon noticing Voldemort, who then raises his eyebrows at the now-blind Harry.

* Harry boasts that the Dark Arts had better be worried because he's Harry Potter... [[StaircaseTumble as he's falling down stairs]]... [[IFellForHours for an entire summer]]. Meanwhile, [[AmbiguousSyntax he may have]] [[EyeScream taken out his own eyes]] earlier in the chapter. To put it bluntly, it's very unclear ''why'' he thinks the dark arts should be afraid of him now: he's blind ''and'' falling down a staircase!

** Also, the fact that it's the dark arts themselves, not their practitioners.

* Hermione threatens to get aggressive, but is introduced as "the reasonable Hermione".

* Ron is nervous because he's going to have spiders all over his body soon. He is also going to turn into spiders.

** Meanwhile, [[WithCatlikeTread the trio is trying to listen in on a Death Eater meeting]] that is [[TooDumbToLive on the other side of the locked door]]. Thankfully, the Death Eaters [[FailedASpotCheck don't hear them]].

* Hufflepuff apparently has a pig mascot, which pulses like a frog. Dumbledore declares that "[it is] Hagrid now"... which means [[AnimateInanimateObject the furniture that was shrieking]] at the beginning belonged to [[LegacyCharacter the previous Hagrid]], who may or may not have been the character who is called "Hagrid" in canon.

* Harry boasts that the Dark Arts had better be worried because he's Harry Potter... [[StaircaseTumble as he's falling down stairs]]... [[IFellForHours for an entire summer]]. Meanwhile, [[AmbiguousSyntax he may have]] [[EyeScream taken out his own eyes]] earlier in the chapter. To put it bluntly, it's very unclear why he thinks the dark arts should be afraid of him now: he is blind and falling down a staircase!

* Hufflepuff apparently has a pig mascot, which pulses like a frog. Dumbledore declares “[it is] Hagrid now”... which means [[AnimateInanimateObject the furniture that was shrieking]] at the beginning belonged to [[LegacyCharacter the previous Hagrid]], who may or may not have been the character who is called "Hagrid" in canon.

* Ron throws a wand at Voldemort... and everyone applauds. [[RuleOfFunny Most people in the room are]] [[FridgeLogicDeath Eaters]].