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* Neville receives a glass orb called a Remembrall from his grandmother, which turns red if you've forgotten something. [[ReminderFailure As the Remembrall doesn't actually indicate what's been forgotten]] and Neville's a very forgetful person, its actual use to him is limited at best; indeed, the orb almost immediately turns red and Neville gets stuck trying to figure out what he needs to be reminded of until Malfoy steals it from him.
* Much to Harry and Ron's delight, Malfoy is told by Madame Hooch that he's been holding his broomstick wrong for years.
* Much to Harry and Ron's delight, Malfoy is told by Madame Hooch that he's been holding his broomstick wrong for years.
Changed line(s) 66 (click to see context) from:
* The description of Hermione badgering Harry and Ron not to go to the duel: "She kept hissing at them, like an angry goose."
to:
* The description of Hermione badgering Harry and Ron not to go to the duel: "She kept "...hissing at them, them like an angry goose."
Changed line(s) 135 (click to see context) from:
* Dumbledore spots that Harry's receives some Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans and says that although he lost his taste for them decades ago after an unfortunate encounter with a vomit-flavored one, he thinks he'll try a toffee-flavored bean. The headmaster promptly chokes on a jellybean that most definitely does ''not'' taste like toffee.
to:
* Dumbledore spots that Harry's receives received some Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans and says that although he lost his taste for them decades ago after an unfortunate encounter with a vomit-flavored one, he thinks he'll try a toffee-flavored bean. The headmaster promptly chokes on a jellybean that most definitely does ''not'' taste like toffee.
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* The work done during final exams includes a mention of Harry and his peers trying to "remember how to make a Forgetfulness potion."
Changed line(s) 133,137 (click to see context) from:
* More from the hospital wing scene:
** "What happened between you and Professor Quirrell down in the dungeon is a ''complete'' secret, [[OpenSecret so, naturally, the whole school knows]]."
** Dumbledore trying Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans.
--->"Alas! Earwax!"
*** He originally lost his taste for them after an unfortunate encounter with a vomit-flavored one, but thought he'd "be safe with this toffee-flavored one".
** "What happened between you and Professor Quirrell down in the dungeon is a ''complete'' secret, [[OpenSecret so, naturally, the whole school knows]]."
** Dumbledore trying Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans.
--->"Alas! Earwax!"
*** He originally lost his taste for them after an unfortunate encounter with a vomit-flavored one, but thought he'd "be safe with this toffee-flavored one".
to:
* More from the hospital wing scene:
** "WhatDumbledore says that what happened between you and Professor when Harry confronted Quirrell down in the dungeon is a ''complete'' secret, [[OpenSecret secret... "[[OpenSecret so, naturally, the whole school knows]]."
** * Dumbledore trying spots that Harry's receives some Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans.
--->"Alas! Earwax!"
*** He originallyBeans and says that although he lost his taste for them decades ago after an unfortunate encounter with a vomit-flavored one, but thought he'd "be safe with this he thinks he'll try a toffee-flavored one".bean. The headmaster promptly chokes on a jellybean that most definitely does ''not'' taste like toffee.
-->"Alas! Ear wax!"
** "What
--->"Alas! Earwax!"
*** He originally
-->"Alas! Ear wax!"
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"Pinhead" happens in the next book.
* Fred and George steal Percy's prefect badge, which results in him chasing them all around the Gryffindor Common Room.
Deleted line(s) 138,140 (click to see context) :
* Fred and George steal Percy's Prefect badge, which results in him chasing them all around the Gryffindor Common Room.
** And not much later, Fred and George secretly and magically change the badge to now read "Pinhead". Percy, of course, doesn't know this and asks them what is so funny every time they snicker.
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* Neville doesn't return from the hospital wing and getting his broken arm healed before the trio leaves for the midnight duel, with the implication he's staying there overnight. However, they find him sleeping in a nearby corridor because he forgot the password to get back into the dorms; the broken arm itself was healed in about a minute.
* When asked where the students out of bed are by Filch, Peeves claims "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please!" Upon Filch asking "please", [[ExactWords Peeves yells "NOTHING!"]] and tells him that he ''said'' he wouldn't say "nothing".
* When asked where the students out of bed are by Filch, Peeves claims "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please!" Upon Filch asking "please", [[ExactWords Peeves yells "NOTHING!"]] and tells him that he ''said'' he wouldn't say "nothing".
Changed line(s) 70,75 (click to see context) from:
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll. The scene is arguably funnier in the book because, rather than them noticing that it's gone into the girls' toilets - they just see it going into a room and they lock the door! They walk away all proud of themselves until they hear Hermione screaming from inside.
** Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' We did save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have ''needed'' saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
* And when Hermione is recapping the events to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
* When [[FridgeBrilliance Fred and George jinx snowballs to hit Professor Quirrell's turban]], they are unknowingly smacking Voldemort in the face!!
** Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' We did save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have ''needed'' saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
* And when Hermione is recapping the events to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
* When [[FridgeBrilliance Fred and George jinx snowballs to hit Professor Quirrell's turban]], they are unknowingly smacking Voldemort in the face!!
to:
* Harry receives a Nimbus Two Thousand racing broom from [=McGonagall=], whose accompanying note tells him to not open the package at the dining table because she doesn't want the other students to know he has a broomstick "or they'll all want one".
* Harry likens the role of the Chasers in Quiddich to playing basketball with six hoops, only for Oliver Wood to ask him what basketball is.
* Worried about how the Bludgers try to crash into people, Harry asks Wood if they've ever killed anyone. Wood responds that [[FalseReassurance it's never happened at Hogwarts]].
* Oliver Wood mentions how he thinks the world record for longest Quidditch match is three months, with substitutes having to be brought on to let the starting lineup sleep.
* Flitwick introducing his class to the Levitation Charm is mentioned to have taken the form of making Neville's toad zoom around the room.
* Flitwick emphasizes the importance of proper pronunciation when spellcasting, citing a wizard named Baruffio who "said 's' instead of 'f'" and got pinned to the ground by a buffalo on his chest because of it.
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll.The scene is arguably funnier in the book because, rather than them noticing that it's gone into the girls' toilets - they just see Upon seeing it going wander into a room and with a key in its door's lock, they decide to lock the door! They walk away all proud troll inside of themselves it and do so. It isn't until they hear Hermione high-pitched screaming coming from inside.
**the room that the two realize [[NiceJobBreakingItHero they locked the troll in the girl's bathroom with Hermione]]. Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' -->'''Ron:''' We did ''did'' save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have''needed'' needed saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
her.
*And when When Hermione is recapping the events troll fight to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
*When [[FridgeBrilliance Fred News of Harry being the new Gryffindor Seeker leaks, resulting in loads of students who either say he'll do great or promise to run around on the pitch beneath him with a mattress.
* One of the things that Harry learns about Quidditch is that while fatalities are rare, referees occasionally vanish andGeorge jinx snowballs to hit Professor Quirrell's turban]], they are unknowingly smacking Voldemort reappear in the face!! Sahara months later.
* After [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem Snape docks the trio points for a rule he basically made up]], Harry notices that Snape is limping (later revealed to be from trying to go after Quirrell) and wonders why. Ron's response is a bitter, "I don't know, but I hope it's really hurting him."
* Harry likens the role of the Chasers in Quiddich to playing basketball with six hoops, only for Oliver Wood to ask him what basketball is.
* Worried about how the Bludgers try to crash into people, Harry asks Wood if they've ever killed anyone. Wood responds that [[FalseReassurance it's never happened at Hogwarts]].
* Oliver Wood mentions how he thinks the world record for longest Quidditch match is three months, with substitutes having to be brought on to let the starting lineup sleep.
* Flitwick introducing his class to the Levitation Charm is mentioned to have taken the form of making Neville's toad zoom around the room.
* Flitwick emphasizes the importance of proper pronunciation when spellcasting, citing a wizard named Baruffio who "said 's' instead of 'f'" and got pinned to the ground by a buffalo on his chest because of it.
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll.
**
'''Harry:''' She might not have
*
*
* One of the things that Harry learns about Quidditch is that while fatalities are rare, referees occasionally vanish and
* After [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem Snape docks the trio points for a rule he basically made up]], Harry notices that Snape is limping (later revealed to be from trying to go after Quirrell) and wonders why. Ron's response is a bitter, "I don't know, but I hope it's really hurting him."
* Oliver Wood starts reciting a pre-game speech, only for Fred and George to cut in because they memorized it the previous year.
-->'''Oliver:''' Okay, men.\\
'''Angelina:''' And women.\\
'''Oliver:''' And women. This is it.\\
'''Fred:''' The big one.\\
'''George:''' The one we've all been waiting for.\\
'''Fred:''' ''(to Harry)'' We know Oliver's speech by heart, we were on the team last year.\\
'''Oliver:''' Shut up, you two.
* Lee Jordan commentates the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch game and tends to let his own biases slip in, prompting Professor [=McGonagall=] to sit with him to keep him on-task.
** Angelina Johnson almost immediately grabs the Quaffle at the start of the match, which prompts Jordan to say she's rather attractive and causes [=McGonagall=] to yell at him for going off-topic.
** After Marcus Flint blocks Harry from getting the Snitch:
--->'''Jordan:''' So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan!\\
'''Jordan:''' I mean, after that open and revolting foul —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan, I’m warning you —\\
'''Jordan:''' All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I’m sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor...
* Once the first snow of winter arrives, Fred and George get in trouble for bewitching snowballs to follow Quirrell around and hit the back of his turban. Unbeknownst to anyone save Quirrell at the time, the twins are unknowingly ''smacking Voldemort in the face!''
* Fred and George Weasley point out that as Harry's sweater from Molly Weasley doesn't have an initial on it, like theirs, it means she must think that he doesn't forget his name.
-->'''George''': But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge.
-->'''Oliver:''' Okay, men.\\
'''Angelina:''' And women.\\
'''Oliver:''' And women. This is it.\\
'''Fred:''' The big one.\\
'''George:''' The one we've all been waiting for.\\
'''Fred:''' ''(to Harry)'' We know Oliver's speech by heart, we were on the team last year.\\
'''Oliver:''' Shut up, you two.
* Lee Jordan commentates the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch game and tends to let his own biases slip in, prompting Professor [=McGonagall=] to sit with him to keep him on-task.
** Angelina Johnson almost immediately grabs the Quaffle at the start of the match, which prompts Jordan to say she's rather attractive and causes [=McGonagall=] to yell at him for going off-topic.
** After Marcus Flint blocks Harry from getting the Snitch:
--->'''Jordan:''' So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan!\\
'''Jordan:''' I mean, after that open and revolting foul —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan, I’m warning you —\\
'''Jordan:''' All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I’m sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor...
* Once the first snow of winter arrives, Fred and George get in trouble for bewitching snowballs to follow Quirrell around and hit the back of his turban. Unbeknownst to anyone save Quirrell at the time, the twins are unknowingly ''smacking Voldemort in the face!''
* Fred and George Weasley point out that as Harry's sweater from Molly Weasley doesn't have an initial on it, like theirs, it means she must think that he doesn't forget his name.
-->'''George''': But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge.
Deleted line(s) 92 (click to see context) :
** Earlier, after [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem Snape docks the trio points for a rule he basically made up]], Harry notices that Snape is limping (later revealed to be from trying to go after Quirrell) and wonders why. Ron's response is a bitter, "I don't know, but I hope it's really hurting him."
Deleted line(s) 110,111 (click to see context) :
* Fred and George Weasley point out that as Harry's sweater from Molly Weasley doesn't have an initial on it, like theirs, it means she must think that he doesn't forget his name.
-->'''George''': But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge.
-->'''George''': But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge.
Changed line(s) 113,118 (click to see context) from:
* Lee Jordan's not-exactly-neutral commentating at the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch game, after Marcus Flint blocks Harry from getting the Snitch:
-->'''Jordan:''' So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan!\\
'''Jordan:''' I mean, after that open and revolting foul —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan, I’m warning you —\\
'''Jordan:''' All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I’m sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor...
-->'''Jordan:''' So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan!\\
'''Jordan:''' I mean, after that open and revolting foul —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan, I’m warning you —\\
'''Jordan:''' All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I’m sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor...
to:
-->'''Jordan:''' So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan!\\
'''Jordan:''' I mean, after that open and revolting foul —\\
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Jordan, I’m warning you —\\
'''Jordan:''' All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I’m sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor...
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Changed line(s) 17,21 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Vernon:''' Get the mail, Dudley.
-->'''Dudley:''' Make Harry get it.
-->'''Vernon:''' Get the mail, Harry.
-->'''Harry:''' Make Dudley get it.
-->'''Vernon:''' Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley. ''(Harry dodges and goes to get the mail)''
-->'''Dudley:''' Make Harry get it.
-->'''Vernon:''' Get the mail, Harry.
-->'''Harry:''' Make Dudley get it.
-->'''Vernon:''' Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley. ''(Harry dodges and goes to get the mail)''
to:
-->'''Vernon:''' Get the mail, Dudley.
-->'''Dudley:'''Dudley.\\
'''Dudley:''' Make Harry getit.
-->'''Vernon:'''it.\\
'''Vernon:''' Get the mail,Harry.
-->'''Harry:'''Harry.\\
'''Harry:''' Make Dudley getit.
-->'''Vernon:'''it.\\
'''Vernon:''' Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley. ''(Harry dodges and goes to get the mail)''
-->'''Dudley:'''
'''Dudley:''' Make Harry get
-->'''Vernon:'''
'''Vernon:''' Get the mail,
-->'''Harry:'''
'''Harry:''' Make Dudley get
-->'''Vernon:'''
'''Vernon:''' Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley. ''(Harry dodges and goes to get the mail)''
* Harry's first impression of the Sorting Hat is that it's so filthy and worn-out that his Aunt Petunia would refuse to allow it in her house.
* Ron worries about how students are sorted into Houses, mentioning that Fred said it hurt a lot (but may have been joking). Once he learns that sorting is done via wearing an enchanted hat, Ron whispers to Harry about Fred claiming the process involved wrestling a troll.
* After the Sorting Hat sings about the qualities associated with each of the Houses, Harry thinks that he doesn't really feel like he's any of the things mentioned in the song due to nerves.
-->''If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.''
* Neville trips while walking over to the stool to sit on for Sorting. The hat takes an unusually long time to decide where to place him; when it finally settles on Gryffindor, Neville heads for their table while still wearing it and has to run back to give the hat to the next student in line.
* Ron worries about how students are sorted into Houses, mentioning that Fred said it hurt a lot (but may have been joking). Once he learns that sorting is done via wearing an enchanted hat, Ron whispers to Harry about Fred claiming the process involved wrestling a troll.
* After the Sorting Hat sings about the qualities associated with each of the Houses, Harry thinks that he doesn't really feel like he's any of the things mentioned in the song due to nerves.
-->''If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.''
* Neville trips while walking over to the stool to sit on for Sorting. The hat takes an unusually long time to decide where to place him; when it finally settles on Gryffindor, Neville heads for their table while still wearing it and has to run back to give the hat to the next student in line.
Changed line(s) 49 (click to see context) from:
* Creator/JimDale singing "Hoggy Warty Hogwarts" for the American audiobook.
to:
* Creator/JimDale singing "Hoggy Warty Hogwarts" for Seamus Finnigan grew up in a mixed wizarding/muggle household. Apparently, his mother didn't bother to tell his father she was a witch until ''after'' they got married.
* The Hogwarts school song is sung to theAmerican audiobook.tune of "whatever melody any given individual likes", resulting in everyone finishing at different times. Mention is made of the Weasley twins being the last people singing, as they decided to sing along to "a very slow funeral march".
* During his first night at Hogwarts, Harry dreams that he's wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, arguing with it because the turban keeps insisting he's destined to be in Slytherin and should transfer there.
* Professor Flitwick is short enough that he stands on a stack of books to see over his desk. When he takes the roll during the first Charms class, he gives a squeak of excitement and topples out of view upon reaching Harry's name.
* Professor Snape's introductory Potions lecture has him state he can teach the class great things, provided they don't turn out to be the typical dunderheads he has to teach. Soon after, Hermione is mentioned to already be in star student mode and "look(ing) desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead."
* As Snape grills Harry about Potions knowledge, Hermione keeps raising her hand higher and higher until she's struggling to elevate it further without standing up. Harry eventually tells Snape that while he doesn't know what he's being asked about, Hermione seemingly does and Snape should ask her instead. This results in a few students laughing at the statement and Snape snapping at Hermione to sit down.
* The Hogwarts school song is sung to the
* During his first night at Hogwarts, Harry dreams that he's wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, arguing with it because the turban keeps insisting he's destined to be in Slytherin and should transfer there.
* Professor Flitwick is short enough that he stands on a stack of books to see over his desk. When he takes the roll during the first Charms class, he gives a squeak of excitement and topples out of view upon reaching Harry's name.
* Professor Snape's introductory Potions lecture has him state he can teach the class great things, provided they don't turn out to be the typical dunderheads he has to teach. Soon after, Hermione is mentioned to already be in star student mode and "look(ing) desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead."
* As Snape grills Harry about Potions knowledge, Hermione keeps raising her hand higher and higher until she's struggling to elevate it further without standing up. Harry eventually tells Snape that while he doesn't know what he's being asked about, Hermione seemingly does and Snape should ask her instead. This results in a few students laughing at the statement and Snape snapping at Hermione to sit down.
* Amidst the general boasting of first-years about things they supposedly did on broomsticks, mention is made of Neville having zero experience on brooms because his grandmother refused to let him near one. Harry privately agrees with her judgement because her grandson is remarkably accident-prone on the ground, let alone in the air.
* After Professor [=McGonagall=] discovers Harry's flying talent, he believes he's going to be thrown out as she leads him down the corridor. The way Stephen Fry reads her lines, it makes it sound like she's alternating between being furious and impressed - having a full-blown inner monologue that Harry only gets snippets of. And when she asks Professor Flitwick to borrow Wood, Harry at first thinks [[ICallHerVera that might be a cane she's going to use on him]].
* [=McGonagall=] takes Harry and Oliver Wood somewhere private to tell Wood she thinks Harry is a good fit as a Quidditch Seeker. The room she leads them to for this discussion is initially occupied only by Peeves, who's writing rude words on the chalkboard.
* While discussing how wizard duels work after Malfoy challenges him to one, Harry asks what to do if nothing happens when he tries to cast a spell. Ron suggests throwing the wand aside and punching Malfoy in the nose.
* The description of Hermione badgering Harry and Ron not to go to the duel: "She kept hissing at them, like an angry goose."
* Hermione follows Harry and Ron out of the common room's portrait hole while continuing to lecture them on why they shouldn't leave. After finally conceding that she can't change their minds, she turns around to go back in, only to find herself locked out of the common room because the portrait closed and the Fat Lady left while she was talking.
-->[[DidntThinkThisThrough "Now what am I supposed to do?"]]
* After the Midnight Duel/Fluffy incident, Hermione is so furious she refuses to speak to Harry and Ron. As they find her incredibly annoying, they deem this "an added bonus".
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll. The scene is arguably funnier in the book because, rather than them noticing that it's gone into the girls' toilets - they just see it going into a room and they lock the door! They walk away all proud of themselves until they hear Hermione screaming from inside.
** Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' We did save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have ''needed'' saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
* And when Hermione is recapping the events to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
* After Professor [=McGonagall=] discovers Harry's flying talent, he believes he's going to be thrown out as she leads him down the corridor. The way Stephen Fry reads her lines, it makes it sound like she's alternating between being furious and impressed - having a full-blown inner monologue that Harry only gets snippets of. And when she asks Professor Flitwick to borrow Wood, Harry at first thinks [[ICallHerVera that might be a cane she's going to use on him]].
* [=McGonagall=] takes Harry and Oliver Wood somewhere private to tell Wood she thinks Harry is a good fit as a Quidditch Seeker. The room she leads them to for this discussion is initially occupied only by Peeves, who's writing rude words on the chalkboard.
* While discussing how wizard duels work after Malfoy challenges him to one, Harry asks what to do if nothing happens when he tries to cast a spell. Ron suggests throwing the wand aside and punching Malfoy in the nose.
* The description of Hermione badgering Harry and Ron not to go to the duel: "She kept hissing at them, like an angry goose."
* Hermione follows Harry and Ron out of the common room's portrait hole while continuing to lecture them on why they shouldn't leave. After finally conceding that she can't change their minds, she turns around to go back in, only to find herself locked out of the common room because the portrait closed and the Fat Lady left while she was talking.
-->[[DidntThinkThisThrough "Now what am I supposed to do?"]]
* After the Midnight Duel/Fluffy incident, Hermione is so furious she refuses to speak to Harry and Ron. As they find her incredibly annoying, they deem this "an added bonus".
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll. The scene is arguably funnier in the book because, rather than them noticing that it's gone into the girls' toilets - they just see it going into a room and they lock the door! They walk away all proud of themselves until they hear Hermione screaming from inside.
** Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' We did save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have ''needed'' saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
* And when Hermione is recapping the events to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
Deleted line(s) 53,63 (click to see context) :
* After Professor [=McGonagall=] discovers Harry's flying talent, he believes he's going to be thrown out as she leads him down the corridor. The way Stephen Fry reads her lines, it makes it sound like she's alternating between being furious and impressed - having a full-blown inner monologue that Harry only gets snippets of. And when she asks Professor Flitwick to borrow Wood, Harry at first thinks [[ICallHerVera that might be a cane she was going to use on him]].
* After the Midnight Duel/Fluffy incident, Hermione is so furious she refuses to speak to Harry and Ron. As they find her so annoying, they find this "an added bonus".
** In the audiobook, the way Stephen Fry reads out how she's badgering them not to go.
--->"She kept hissing at them, like an angry goose."
** When she's finally finished her rant, she discovers that the portrait to the common room has closed, and the Fat Lady is gone. So she's stuck outside indefinitely.
---> [[DidntThinkThisThrough Now what am I supposed to do?!]]
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll. The scene is arguably funnier in the book because, rather than them noticing that it's gone into the girls' toilets - they just see it going into a room and they lock the door! They walk away all proud of themselves until they hear Hermione screaming from inside.
** Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' We did save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have ''needed'' saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
* And when Hermione is recapping the events to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
* After the Midnight Duel/Fluffy incident, Hermione is so furious she refuses to speak to Harry and Ron. As they find her so annoying, they find this "an added bonus".
** In the audiobook, the way Stephen Fry reads out how she's badgering them not to go.
--->"She kept hissing at them, like an angry goose."
** When she's finally finished her rant, she discovers that the portrait to the common room has closed, and the Fat Lady is gone. So she's stuck outside indefinitely.
---> [[DidntThinkThisThrough Now what am I supposed to do?!]]
* Harry and Ron try to warn Hermione about the troll. The scene is arguably funnier in the book because, rather than them noticing that it's gone into the girls' toilets - they just see it going into a room and they lock the door! They walk away all proud of themselves until they hear Hermione screaming from inside.
** Harry sums the situation up rather nicely later.
--->'''Ron:''' We did save her.\\
'''Harry:''' She might not have ''needed'' saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her!
* And when Hermione is recapping the events to Professor [=McGonagall=], she makes Harry shoving his wand up the troll's nose sound like some clever pragmatic strategy.
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Changed line(s) 30,37 (click to see context) from:
* Harry, on the "last day of August" (31 August) finally bites the bullet and asks Uncle Vernon if they can take him to King's Cross the next day so he can catch his train to Hogwarts. Vernon begrudgingly agrees, citing that they had to go to London anyway to get "(Dudley's) ruddy tail removed before he goes to Smeltings." Now, keep in mind when Dudley got that tail in the first place - when Hagrid first appeared and Vernon made the mistake of pushing Hagrid's BerserkButton. All this was back on Harry's eleventh birthday - 31 July - which means that at this point ''Dudley's been walking around with a pig's tail growing out of his bum for a month.''
* Vocabulary lessons with Hagrid. Note that this scene takes place on the Gringotts cart.
-->'''Harry''': I never know, what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?\\
'''Hagrid''': ''(very cartsick)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer "Stalagmite's" got an 'M' in it]].[[note]]In caves, stalagmites are found on the ground, stalactites on the ceilings. Just remember this rhyme: Stalagmites might reach the top, stalactites must hold on tight.[[/note]]
* The Weasley twins at the beginning.
-->"Don't cry, Ginny. We'll send you loads of owls.—"\\
"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!"\\
"GEORGE!"\\
* Vocabulary lessons with Hagrid. Note that this scene takes place on the Gringotts cart.
-->'''Harry''': I never know, what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?\\
'''Hagrid''': ''(very cartsick)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer "Stalagmite's" got an 'M' in it]].[[note]]In caves, stalagmites are found on the ground, stalactites on the ceilings. Just remember this rhyme: Stalagmites might reach the top, stalactites must hold on tight.[[/note]]
* The Weasley twins at the beginning.
-->"Don't cry, Ginny. We'll send you loads of owls.—"\\
"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!"\\
"GEORGE!"\\
to:
* Harry, on the "last day of August" (31 August) finally bites the bullet and asks Uncle Vernon if they can take him to King's Cross the next day so he can catch his train to Hogwarts. Vernon begrudgingly agrees, citing that they had to go to London anyway to get "(Dudley's) ruddy tail removed before he goes to Smeltings." Now, keep in mind when Dudley got that tail in the first place - when Hagrid first appeared and Vernon made the mistake of pushing Hagrid's BerserkButton. All this was back on Harry's eleventh birthday - birthday, 31 July - July, which means that at this point ''Dudley's been walking around with a pig's tail growing out of his bum for a month.''
*Vocabulary lessons with Hagrid. Note that this scene takes place on The Weasley twins' EstablishingCharacterMoment consists of the Gringotts cart.
-->'''Harry''': I never know, what'sone addressed as Fred claiming he's George and complaining about their mother being unable to tell the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?\\
'''Hagrid''': ''(very cartsick)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer "Stalagmite's" got an 'M' in it]].[[note]]In caves, stalagmites are found on the ground, stalactites on the ceilings. Just remember this rhyme: Stalagmites might reach the top, stalactites must hold on tight.[[/note]]
them, then saying he was Fred all along once their mum apologizes.
-->'''Mrs. Weasley:''' Fred, you next.\\
'''Twin:''' I'm not Fred, I'm George. Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you ''tell'' I'm George?\\
'''Mrs. Weasley:''' Sorry, George, dear.\\
'''Twin:''' Only joking, I am Fred.
*The Mrs. Weasley makes it clear that she wants the twins at to behave this year, leading to her warning them "If I get one owl that you've... blown up a toilet or something..." This cues them to respond that they've never done that before, and are grateful for the beginning.
-->"Don't cry, Ginny. We'llsuggestion.
* When Ginny starts crying about the train leaving, Fred tells her they'll sendyou loads her lots of owls.—"\\
"We'llowls... with George adding that they'll also send you her a Hogwarts toilet seat!"\\
"GEORGE!"\\seat.
-->"GEORGE!"\\
*
-->'''Harry''': I never know, what's
'''Hagrid''': ''(very cartsick)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer "Stalagmite's" got an 'M' in it]].[[note]]In caves, stalagmites are found on the ground, stalactites on the ceilings. Just remember this rhyme: Stalagmites might reach the top, stalactites must hold on tight.[[/note]]
-->'''Mrs. Weasley:''' Fred, you next.\\
'''Twin:''' I'm not Fred, I'm George. Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you ''tell'' I'm George?\\
'''Mrs. Weasley:''' Sorry, George, dear.\\
'''Twin:''' Only joking, I am Fred.
*
-->"Don't cry, Ginny. We'll
* When Ginny starts crying about the train leaving, Fred tells her they'll send
"We'll
"GEORGE!"\\
-->"GEORGE!"\\
Changed line(s) 39,40 (click to see context) from:
** Even funnier is that it's a callback to an earlier funny moment. Mrs. Weasley makes it clear that she wants the twins to behave this year, leading to her warning them "If I get one owl that you've... blown up a toilet or something..." This cues them to respond that they've never done that before, and are grateful for the suggestion.
** [[BrickJoke And then when Harry is in the hospital wing, they try to send]] ''[[BrickJoke him]]'' [[BrickJoke a toilet seat]] implying that they have, in fact, ''just blown up a toilet to get him that seat.''
** [[BrickJoke And then when Harry is in the hospital wing, they try to send]] ''[[BrickJoke him]]'' [[BrickJoke a toilet seat]] implying that they have, in fact, ''just blown up a toilet to get him that seat.''
to:
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* Uncle Vernon is intimidated by Hagrid, he whimpers something that sounds like "Mimblewimble". A spell with that incantation appears in [[VideoGame/HarryPotter the video games]]; it's the ''Tongue-Tying Curse''.
to:
* When Uncle Vernon is intimidated by Hagrid, he whimpers something that sounds like "Mimblewimble". A spell with that incantation appears in [[VideoGame/HarryPotter the video games]]; it's the ''Tongue-Tying Curse''.
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* The rapid twists and turns of the Gringotts minecart quickly make Hagrid queasy. Harry asks him the difference between stalagmites and stalactites during the cart ride; Hagrid replies that [[MathematiciansAnswer the word stalagmite has an "m" in it]] and asks him to keep quiet while he feels sick.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
* Among Harry's [[PowerIncontinence unconscious usages of magic]], there is the time when he turned the wig of a teacher blue and the time when Aunt Petunia wanted to force a particularly ugly sweater of Dudley's on him, and as she was trying to put it on Harry, the sweater started to shrink smaller and smaller until it would have perhaps fit a hand puppet but not him. Fortunately, she decided it must have shrunk in the wash, so Harry wasn't punished that time.* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes."
to:
* Among Harry's [[PowerIncontinence unconscious usages of magic]], there is the time when he turned the wig of a teacher blue and the time when Aunt Petunia wanted to force a particularly ugly sweater of Dudley's on him, and as she was trying to put it on Harry, the sweater started to shrink smaller and smaller until it would have perhaps fit a hand puppet but not him. Fortunately, she decided it must have shrunk in the wash, so Harry wasn't punished that time.time.
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes."
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes."
* When Hagrid's knocking wakes up Dudley, he bolts awake and immediately asks "Where's the cannon?"
Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:
* When Hagrid's knocking wakes up Dudley, he bolts awake and immediately asks "Where's the cannon?"
* Doubles as HilariousInHindsight, but early in the book when Uncle Vernon is intimidated by Hagrid he whimpers something that sounds like "Mimblewimble". A spell with that incantation appears in [[VideoGame/HarryPotter the video games]]; it's the ''Tongue-Tying Curse''.
* Doubles as HilariousInHindsight, but early in the book when Uncle Vernon is intimidated by Hagrid he whimpers something that sounds like "Mimblewimble". A spell with that incantation appears in [[VideoGame/HarryPotter the video games]]; it's the ''Tongue-Tying Curse''.
to:
* When Hagrid's knocking wakes up Dudley, he bolts awake and immediately asks "Where's the cannon?"
* Doubles as HilariousInHindsight, but early in the book whenUncle Vernon is intimidated by Hagrid Hagrid, he whimpers something that sounds like "Mimblewimble". A spell with that incantation appears in [[VideoGame/HarryPotter the video games]]; it's the ''Tongue-Tying Curse''.
* Doubles as HilariousInHindsight, but early in the book when
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* McGonagall worries about how much Dumbledore trusts Hagrid, citing that the latter isn't the most careful of a person. As if to accentuate her point, Hagrid shows up right then on a flying motorcycle.
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* McGonagall [=McGonagall=] worries about how much Dumbledore trusts Hagrid, citing that the latter isn't the most careful of a person. As if to accentuate her point, Hagrid shows up right then on a flying motorcycle.
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* Among Harry's [[PowerIncontinence unconscious usages of magic]], there is the time when he turned the wig of a teacher blue and the time when Aunt Petunia wanted to force a particularly ugly sweater of Dudley's on him, and as she was trying to put it on Harry, the sweater started to shrink smaller and smaller until it would have perhaps fit a baby or dog but not him. Fortunately, she decided it must have shrunk in the wash, so Harry wasn't punished that time.
* Towards the beginning, Dudley tells Harry that they [[{{Swirlie}} stuff people's heads down the toilet]] on the first day of Stonewall High and asks him if he wants to practice. Harry's response is "No thanks, the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick", and then runs away before Dudley can work out what he said.
* A small one from Dudley, regarding the Hogwarts letters (also notable as it's probably his most civil moment with Harry in the first book):
-->"Who on Earth wants to talk to ''you'' this badly?"
* Towards the beginning, Dudley tells Harry that they [[{{Swirlie}} stuff people's heads down the toilet]] on the first day of Stonewall High and asks him if he wants to practice. Harry's response is "No thanks, the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick", and then runs away before Dudley can work out what he said.
* A small one from Dudley, regarding the Hogwarts letters (also notable as it's probably his most civil moment with Harry in the first book):
-->"Who on Earth wants to talk to ''you'' this badly?"
to:
* Among Harry's [[PowerIncontinence unconscious usages of magic]], there is the time when he turned the wig of a teacher blue and the time when Aunt Petunia wanted to force a particularly ugly sweater of Dudley's on him, and as she was trying to put it on Harry, the sweater started to shrink smaller and smaller until it would have perhaps fit a baby or dog hand puppet but not him. Fortunately, she decided it must have shrunk in the wash, so Harry wasn't punished that time.
time.* Towards "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the beginning, council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes."
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorbike, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
* A gorilla at the zoo is described as looking a lot like Dudley, except it isn't blond.
* Dudley tells Harry that they [[{{Swirlie}} stuff people's heads down the toilet]] on the first day of Stonewall High and asks him if he wants to practice. Harry's response is "No thanks, the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick", and then runs away before Dudley can work out what hesaid.
* A small one from Dudley, regarding the Hogwarts letters (also notable as it's probably his most civil moment with Harry in the first book):
-->"Who on Earth wants to talk to ''you'' this badly?"said.
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorbike, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
* A gorilla at the zoo is described as looking a lot like Dudley, except it isn't blond.
* Dudley tells Harry that they [[{{Swirlie}} stuff people's heads down the toilet]] on the first day of Stonewall High and asks him if he wants to practice. Harry's response is "No thanks, the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick", and then runs away before Dudley can work out what he
* A small one from Dudley, regarding the Hogwarts letters (also notable as it's probably his most civil moment with Harry in the first book):
-->"Who on Earth wants to talk to ''you'' this badly?"
Changed line(s) 21,22 (click to see context) from:
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes."
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorbike, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorbike, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
to:
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, A small one from Dudley, regarding the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of Hogwarts letters (also notable as it's probably his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes."
**most civil moment with Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorbike, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" The book gives in the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".first book):
-->"Who on Earth wants to talk to ''you'' this badly?"
**
-->"Who on Earth wants to talk to ''you'' this badly?"
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* McGonagall worries about how much Dumbledore trusts Hagrid, citing that the latter isn't the most careful of a person. As if to accentuate her point, Hagrid shows up right then on a flying motorcycle.
* Dudley is described as looking like a pink beach ball in various colored bonnets in his baby pictures.
* Harry is puzzled about why Dudley wanted a racing bike for his birthday, as his cousin is the exact opposite of athletic.
* Dudley is described as looking like a pink beach ball in various colored bonnets in his baby pictures.
* Harry is puzzled about why Dudley wanted a racing bike for his birthday, as his cousin is the exact opposite of athletic.
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Cat is never confirmed to actually be reading a map. Plus, removed violation of the repair-don't-respond policy.
* Petunia Dursley is described as having "nearly twice the usual amount of neck", which she puts to good use peering over fences to spy on her neighbors.
* Vernon's first proper encounter with a wizard occurs when he bumps into a short, elderly man wearing a violet cloak, who promptly says "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day!" and then ''hugs Vernon'' before running off, leaving Vernon with a very appropriate "What?!" reaction.
** The fact that this is hinted to be ''Flitwick'' makes it even funnier.
* Vernon notices Professor [=McGonagall=] in her Animagus form as a tabby cat, sitting on a brick wall and reading a street sign. [=McGonagall=] is too clever to do anything human in cat form. The implication is that she's doing it ''deliberately'' to mess with him because she's either A) realised he's a horrible person and deserves it, B) is bored or C) Both of the above.
* Vernon's first proper encounter with a wizard occurs when he bumps into a short, elderly man wearing a violet cloak, who promptly says "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day!" and then ''hugs Vernon'' before running off, leaving Vernon with a very appropriate "What?!" reaction.
** The fact that this is hinted to be ''Flitwick'' makes it even funnier.
* Vernon notices Professor [=McGonagall=] in her Animagus form as a tabby cat, sitting on a brick wall and reading a street sign. [=McGonagall=] is too clever to do anything human in cat form. The implication is that she's doing it ''deliberately'' to mess with him because she's either A) realised he's a horrible person and deserves it, B) is bored or C) Both of the above.
Deleted line(s) 4,7 (click to see context) :
* One of Vernon's first encounters with an actual wizard on-page, when he bumps into a short, elderly man wearing a violet cloak, who promptly says "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day!" and then ''hugs Vernon'' before running off, leaving Vernon with a very appropriate "What?!" reaction.
** The fact that this is hinted to be ''Flitwick'' makes it even funnier.
* Vernon notices Professor [=McGonagall=] in her Animagus form as a tabby cat, sitting on a brick wall and reading a map. [=McGonagall=] is too clever to do anything human in cat form. The implication is that she's doing it ''deliberately'' to troll with him because she's either A) realised he's a horrible person and deserves it, B) is bored or C) Both of the above.
** It becomes even funnier when you remember this important fact: Cats don't have opposable thumbs... so ''how'' is she holding the map, let alone read it?
** The fact that this is hinted to be ''Flitwick'' makes it even funnier.
* Vernon notices Professor [=McGonagall=] in her Animagus form as a tabby cat, sitting on a brick wall and reading a map. [=McGonagall=] is too clever to do anything human in cat form. The implication is that she's doing it ''deliberately'' to troll with him because she's either A) realised he's a horrible person and deserves it, B) is bored or C) Both of the above.
** It becomes even funnier when you remember this important fact: Cats don't have opposable thumbs... so ''how'' is she holding the map, let alone read it?
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It wasn't "infamously slow" at the time the book was written.
Deleted line(s) 26 (click to see context) :
** Possibly a subtle TakeThat at the infamously slow National Health Service, which just makes it funnier.
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Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorcbikes."
to:
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorcbikes.motorbikes."
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* Fred and George steal Percy's Prefect badge, which results in him chasing them all around the Gryffindor Common Room.
** And not much later, Fred and George secretly and magically change the badge to now read "Pinhead". Percy, of course, doesn't know this and asks them what is so funny every time they snicker.
** And not much later, Fred and George secretly and magically change the badge to now read "Pinhead". Percy, of course, doesn't know this and asks them what is so funny every time they snicker.
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Changed line(s) 18,19 (click to see context) from:
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles."
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorcycle, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying motorcycle, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
to:
* "While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Harry]], the bank, and [[RuleOfThree Harry]] were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles.motorcbikes."
** Harry says he had a dream about a flyingmotorcycle, motorbike, which makes Uncle Vernon BrakeAngrily and yell at Harry "MOTORCYCLES "MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" The book gives the depiction of his face as "a gigantic beetroot with a moustache".
** Harry says he had a dream about a flying
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
* After Ron meets Hermione for the first time, he comments, "Whatever House I'm in, I hope she's not in it." Of course, Hermione does end up in Gryffindor with him.
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* After Ron meets Hermione for the first time, he comments, "Whatever House I'm in, I hope she's not in it." Of course, Hermione does end up in Gryffindor with him.[[note]]Becomes a BrickJoke when you realise that they get married, meaning Hermione will ''literally'' be in the same house as Ron for the rest of their lives.[[/note]]
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
** [[BrickJoke And then when Harry is in the hospital wing, they try to send]] ''[[BrickJoke him]]'' [[BrickJoke a toilet seat.]]
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** [[BrickJoke And then when Harry is in the hospital wing, they try to send]] ''[[BrickJoke him]]'' [[BrickJoke a toilet seat]] implying that they have, in fact, ''just blown up a toilet to get him that seat.]]''
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Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
'''Hagrid''': ''(very cartsick)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer "Stalagmite's" got an 'M' in it]].[[note]]In caves, stalagmites are found on the ground, stalactites on the ceilings.[[/note]]
to:
'''Hagrid''': ''(very cartsick)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer "Stalagmite's" got an 'M' in it]].[[note]]In caves, stalagmites are found on the ground, stalactites on the ceilings. Just remember this rhyme: Stalagmites might reach the top, stalactites must hold on tight.[[/note]]
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
** The more important question is this. Cats don't have opposable thumbs... so ''how'' is she holding the map? Is she holding her wand in her mouth to levitate the map? Is she doing wandless magic ''as a cat?'' How is she doing it? ''We never get any answer. She just is.''
to:
** The more It becomes even funnier when you remember this important question is this. fact: Cats don't have opposable thumbs... so ''how'' is she holding the map? Is she holding her wand in her mouth to levitate the map? Is she doing wandless magic ''as a cat?'' How is she doing it? ''We never get any answer. She just is.''map, let alone read it?
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** The more important question is this. Cats don't have opposable thumbs... so ''how'' is she holding the map? Is she holding her wand in her mouth to levitate the map? Is she doing wandless magic ''as a cat?'' How is she doing it? ''We never get any answer. She just is.''
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** The fact that this is hinted to be ''Flitwick'' makes it even funnier.
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Changed line(s) 183 (click to see context) from:
* In the GBC game, after Norbert hatches, Hagrid sends Harry into the grounds to find him some chickens. If you go back to the castle during this section (for no particular reason), [[DevelopersForesight every student on every floor]] will be making chicken puns, aside from one who lampshades the whole thing, asking, "Why is everyone talking about chickens?"
to:
* In the GBC game, after Norbert hatches, Hagrid sends Harry into the grounds to find him some chickens. If you go back to the castle during this section (for no particular reason), [[DevelopersForesight every student on every floor]] will be making chicken puns, ("Slytherins strut like roosters," "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells," etc.) aside from one who lampshades the whole thing, asking, "Why is everyone talking about chickens?"chickens?"
* There's an amusing bug in the cutscene that plays just before you fight Voldemort as the final boss in the PC version of the game. Normally, you enter the boss room and Quirrell reveals that he's possessed by Voldemort and Harry starts backing away from him, frightened. However, if you walk into the room backwards, Harry will ''stay'' backwards for the whole cutscene, resulting in him backing away from ''nothing'' and ''towards Voldemort!''
* There's an amusing bug in the cutscene that plays just before you fight Voldemort as the final boss in the PC version of the game. Normally, you enter the boss room and Quirrell reveals that he's possessed by Voldemort and Harry starts backing away from him, frightened. However, if you walk into the room backwards, Harry will ''stay'' backwards for the whole cutscene, resulting in him backing away from ''nothing'' and ''towards Voldemort!''
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** Also the look of utter shock and surprise on Hermione's face when she reacts to this.
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* Dudley falling into the snake cage (and subsequently getting trapped inside behind the glass barrier) just after Harry unintentionally set it free. In the book, the snake simply left the cage and took a swing at Dudley and his friend Piers. However in the movie, Dudley gets stuck inside, and given how much of an abusive Jerkass he was to Harry up to this point, seeing him panic inside the cage is pretty funny all things considered. Even Harry himself found it funny (though unfortunately, he knew he was about to get his ass handed to him once more after Vernon gave him a death glare).
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-->'''Vernon:''' Make Harry get it.
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-->'''Vernon:''' Make Dudley get it.
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** Possibly a subtle take-that at the infamously slow National Health Service, which just makes it funnier.
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** Possibly a subtle take-that TakeThat at the infamously slow National Health Service, which just makes it funnier.
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Changed line(s) 168 (click to see context) from:
-->'''[=McGonagall=]:''' (to Harry) I suppose he felt it his... obligation... to look after you this year.\\
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-->'''[=McGonagall=]:''' (to Harry) ''[to Harry]'' I suppose he felt it his... obligation... to look after you this year.\\
Changed line(s) 170 (click to see context) from:
'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Hogwarts teachers do not hate their students, Mr. Weasley... (pointedly, as she exits) No matter how taxing they may be.\\
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'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Hogwarts teachers do not hate their students, Mr. Weasley... (pointedly, ''[pointedly, as she exits) exits]'' No matter how taxing they may be.\\
Changed line(s) 172 (click to see context) from:
* Vernon asks Dudley why Sunday is his favorite day of the week. [[BookDumb Dudley shrugs]], then Harry answers for him "Because there's no post on Sundays."
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* Vernon asks Dudley why Sunday is his favorite day of the week. [[BookDumb Dudley shrugs]], then Harry answers for him "Because there's [[MemeticMutation no post on Sundays.Sundays]]."
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Changed line(s) 162 (click to see context) from:
* At the table, Seamus is trying to transfigure his water into rum by saying a little rhyme. Eventually, it explodes instead, leaving him with an AshFace.
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* At the table, Seamus is trying to transfigure his water into rum by saying a little rhyme.("Eye of rabbit, harp-string hum, turn this water into rum!"). Eventually, it explodes instead, leaving him with an AshFace.
Changed line(s) 165 (click to see context) from:
'''Filch:''' Ah, for god's sake, pull yourself together, man.
to:
'''Filch:''' ''[looking supremely disgusted]'' Ah, for god's sake, pull yourself together, man.man!
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Changed line(s) 152 (click to see context) from:
* Creator/EmmaWatson's delivery of the "killed, or worse, ''expelled''" line.
to:
* Creator/EmmaWatson's delivery of the "killed, or worse, ''expelled''" ''worse'', '''expelled'''" line.
Changed line(s) 157,158 (click to see context) from:
** Earlier, as Harry and Draco walk through the forest, Draco complaining all the while ("Wait till my father hears about this!"), Harry says that if he didn't know any better, he'd think Draco was scared. Draco mimics him sarcastically ("''Scared'', Pottah.") and then gets rattled by a sound in the distance. Note, when they find the unicorn he looks quite terrified compared to Harry.
* "'''''TROOOOLL! IN THE DUNGEOOOON! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!''''' (beat) Thought you oughta know." (faints)
* "'''''TROOOOLL! IN THE DUNGEOOOON! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!''''' (beat) Thought you oughta know." (faints)
to:
** Earlier, as Harry and Draco walk through the forest, Draco complaining all the while ("Wait till my father hears about this!"), Harry says that if he didn't know any better, he'd think Draco was scared. Draco mimics him sarcastically ("''Scared'', Pottah.") Pottah?") and then gets rattled by a sound in the distance. Note, when they find the unicorn he looks quite terrified compared to Harry.
* "'''''TROOOOLL! IN THE DUNGEOOOON! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!'''''(beat) Thought (beat) ...thought you oughta know." (faints)
* "'''''TROOOOLL! IN THE DUNGEOOOON! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!'''''
