History Funny / FinalFantasyIX

* Some unintentional black humor happens with the Stellazio coins. They're named after horoscope signs. Which means when you find the one in Burmecia, a little text box pops up that says [[UnfortunateImplications received Cancer!]]. And then, when you hand the coin to Queen Stella...

** As a continuation of the above event, the three of them getting packed up in a barrel. Steiner shortly runs into that barrel, and hearing noise coming from inside, he decided to poke it with his sword. The way Zidane jumps out of the thing afterward, you might think he got poked somewhere [[AssShove sensitive]]...

* Call the moogle on the field and then decide you don't even need him, he gets miffed. Do it long enough and he tells you "I'm sharpening my knife, kupo." Continue even longer and he starts screaming [[{{Angrish}} "STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! KUPOOOH!"]] at you.
* Some unintentional black humor happens with the Stellazio coins. They're named after horoscope signs. Which means when you find the one in Burmecia, a little text box pops up that says [[UnfortunateImplications received Cancer!]]. And then, when you hand the coin in to Queen Stella...

* Any scene where Steiner proves just how ineffectual he is outside of combat; ideally the funniest is when he questions [[CoolOldGuy Morrid]] about the cargo ship arriving at Dali and tries to loosen his lips by threatening him with eviction. Morrid calls his bluff easily, and Steiner resorts to wringing his hands and whining "Tell meeeeeeee!"

* If you stop by chocobo forest as zidane while heading to burmecia zidane will ask if a pretty girl came through, the moogle says no, but that an ugly girl did. Come Garnets interlude after you beat the Grizamaluke's grotto boss, and we hear Steiner complimenting the princess for helping him fight monster with her white magic, and helping ignore the obnoxious moogle in ''Chocobo's Forest''...

** As a continuation of the above event, the three of them getting packed up in a barrel. Steiner shorlty runs into that barrel, and hearing noise coming from inside, he decided to poke it with his sword. The way Zidane jumps out of the thing afterward, you might think he got poked somewhere [[AssShove sensitive]]...

* There's a scene in Memoria where Quina thinks s/he's drowning to death only to realize that s/he's not and is actually ''swimming through the air.''

* If you stop by chocobo forest as zidane while heading to burmecia zidane will ask if a pretty girl came through, the moogles says no, but that an ugly girl did. Come Garnets interlude after you beat the Grizamaluke's grotto boss, and we hear Steiner complimenting the princess for helping him fight monster with her white magic, and helping ignore the obnoxious moogle in ''Chocobo's Forest''...

* Garnet convinces Steiner to ditch the team with her and leave Lindblum for Burmecia, and he ends up smuggling her through South Gate in a duffel bag. When looking for a place to let her out, Steiner finds himself having to talk to this woman, who's actually part of a {{Homage}} to the ''Tanabata'' legend as she's infatuated with the shopkeeper at the opposite end of the mountain tram...leading to Garnet ''kicking him from inside the duffel'' when he messes it up.

** As if that isn't entertaining enough, TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything. If you don't have enough gil in your inventory to pay (basically, you have to go a shop and use it all up), then Zidane tells Grandma Pickle that ''Baku'' will pay the debt. Cue the Active Time Event "Give Me My Money," in which Grandma demands the money from Baku.

* This troper can't be the only one who burst out laughing when the potion Doctor Tot mixed to turn Cid back into a human turned him into [[spoiler:a frog instead.]]

* The ''entire'' kidnapping sequence in the opening is just...amazing. At least as soon as Steiner gets involved. He starts out searching for his Pluto Knights. One is in the kitchen complaining about how hungry he is, another wants to quit to be a fantasy novelist (in a fantasy setting, no less - what would he write about, accountants?), one is hitting on a girl, and another is contemplating the moon. When you talk to the last guy he leaps up and says FEEL MY FURY!!!! And goes charging off after the Princess. Meanwhile, on the ship, Garnet begs Zidane to kidnap her and grasps his hands. He keeps looking up and down like he can't believe what he's holding. THEN Steiner follows them onto the ship and they have to book it out of there, but Steiner catches up and Zidane has to fight him. Blank and Cinna join the fight, and Steiner knocks Blank's hat off. Cue shower of oglops, and Steiner, Cinna and Blank running around freaking out about the bugs. Then Steiner, Zidane and Garnet all make their way onto the stage, Garnet takes over Cornelia's role, Baku drags ''Steiner'' into the acting, Steiner has epic stage fright, and then Garnet pretends to die and Steiner ''totally buys it'' for some reason. At which point Vivi rushes onto the stage and sets Garnet on fire. Best. Kidnapping. Ever.

** Zidane "accidentally" grabbing Dagger's ass while climbing a ladder. "Ooo, soft..."

* After a deeply touching scene between Zidane and Vivi when the little black mage couldn't sleep in Madain Sari, the camera pans over to Eiko, listening in on their conversation and congratulating herself for spotting what a wonderful, mature, wise paragon of a guy Zidane really is...and then, still offscreen, we overhear Zidane recommending an "age-old ritual between male friends" to calm Vivi's troubled thoughts. Eiko eagerly perks up her ears--and then the "ritual" turns out to be [[spoiler: taking a pee off a high cliff together]]. Whoops.

*** Look closely, when Zidane closes in for the kiss, his tail is [[SomethingElseAlsoRises stiff straight]].

* When leaving Chocobo Paradise without Choco, moggle Mene tried carrying Zidane . . . with less than spectacular results.

* The ''entire'' kidnapping sequence in the opening is just...amazing. At least as soon as Steiner gets involved. He starts out searching for his Pluto Knights. One is in the kitchen complaining about how hungry he is, another wants to quit to be a fantasy novelist (in a fantasy setting, no less - what would he write about, accountants?), one is hitting on a girl, and another is contemplating the moon. When you talk to the last guy he leaps up and says FEEL MY FURY!!!! And goes charging off after the Princess. Meanwhile, on the ship, Garnet begs Zidane to kidnap her and grasps his hands. He keeps looking up and down like he can't believe what he's holding. THEN Steiner follows them onto the ship and they have to book it out of there, but Steiner catches up and Zidane has to fight him. Blank and Cinna join the fight, and Steiner knocks Blank's hat off. Cue shower of oglops, and Steiner, Cinna and Blank running around freaking out about the bugs. Then Steiner, Zidane and Garnet all make their way onto the stage, Garnet takes over Cornelia's role, Steiner has epic stage fright, and then Garnet pretends to die and Steiner ''totally buys it'' for some reason. At which point Vivi rushes onto the stage and sets Garnet on fire. Best. Kidnapping. Ever.

* The ''entire'' kidnapping sequence in the opening is just...amazing. At least as soon as Steiner gets involved. He starts out searching for his Pluto Knights. One is in the kitchen complaining about how hungry he is, another wants to quit to be a fantasy novelist, one is hitting on a girl, and another is contemplating the moon. When you talk to the last guy he leaps up and says FEEL MY FURY!!!! And goes charging off after the Princess. Meanwhile, on the ship, Garnet begs Zidane to kidnap her and grasps his hands. He keeps looking up and down like he can't believe what he's holding. THEN Steiner follows them onto the ship and they have to book it out of there, but Steiner catches up and Zidane has to fight him. Blank and Cinna join the fight, and Steiner knocks Blank's hat off. Cue shower of oglops, and Steiner, Cinna and Blank running around freaking out about the bugs. Then Steiner, Zidane and Garnet all make their way onto the stage, Garnet takes over Cornelia's role, Steiner has epic stage fright, and then Garnet pretends to die and Steiner ''totally buys it'' for some reason. At which point Vivi rushes onto the stage and sets Garnet on fire. Best. Kidnapping. Ever.

* The ''entire'' kidnapping sequence in the opening is just...amazing. At least as soon as Steiner gets involved. He starts out searching for his Pluto Knights. One is in the kitchen complaining about how hungry he is, another wants to quit to be a fantasy novelist, one is hitting on a girl, and another is contemplating the moon. When you talk to the last guy he leaps up and says FEEL MY FURY!!!! And goes charging off after the Princess. Garnet begs Zidane to kidnap her and grasps his hands like he can't believe what he's holding. THEN Steiner follows them onto the ship and they have to book it. Blank and Cinna join the fight, and Steiner knocks Blank's hat off. Cue shower of oglops, and Steiner, Cinna and Blank running around freaking out about the bugs. Then Steiner, Zidane and Garnet all make their way onto the stage, Garnet takes over Cornelia's role, Steiner has epic stage fright, and then Garnet pretends to die and Steiner ''totally buys it'' for some reason. At which point Vivi rushes onto the stage and sets Garnet on fire. Best. Kidnapping. Ever.

*** Look closely, when Zidane closes in for the kiss, his tail is [[SOmethingElseAlsoRises stiff straight]].

* Quina's inexplicable survival skills become absolutely hilarious when compiled in order: s/he falls several hundred metres while exploring Cleyra (lands safely), gets blown up along with Cleyra during Odin's bombardment (walks all the way back home), dives off a cliff in Madain Sari (fished out by Eiko), dives off another cliff in Madain Sari (swims to Treno[[note]] which is ''across the ocean''[[/note]]), dives off a bridge in Treno (washes up in Lindblum)... and of course, s/he manages to avoid the destruction of Terra by being the first team member to find the [[CoolAirship Invincible's]] lower teleporter!

* There's also the first staging of 'I Want to Be your Canary'. You fully expect Steiner to get stage fright when he first appears on the actual stage... but not so much his ''total freakout'' when Garnet is fake-StuffedInTheFridge.
* In disc 1, Garnet convinces Steiner to ditch the team with her and leave Lindblum for Burmecia, and he ends up smuggling her through South Gate in a duffel bag. When looking for a place to let her out, Steiner finds himself having to talk to this woman, who's actually part of a {{Homage}} to the ''Tanabata'' legend as she's infatuated with the shopkeeper at the opposite end of the mountain tram... leading to Garnet ''kicking him from inside the duffel'' when he messes it up.

--> Mary: "...I really liked your store. It had a nice atmosphere, a lot of sunlight, and a nice sign. But what made the store really special for me was... the real reason I always went to your store was[[CanNotSpitItOut ...]]"

* When Zidane runs back into the Iifa Tree to retrieve [[spoiler:Kuja]], he runs like mad past the thrashing roots and falls into the hollow trunk, where he finally finds the guy... then we go into bullet time as [[Film/TheMatrix the camera rotates around the both of them for dramatic pause...]] but instead of making the dramatic save, Zidane plummets the rest of the way and hits the bottom in an anticlimactic WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes puff of dust. You can just catch him trying to frogpaddle out of it before that.