History Funny / FargoSeasonTwo

'''Reagan''': (smiles, pats Lou on the shoulder, and leaves)

** When Hank asks the Kitchen brothers what size shoes they wear, they both display middle fingers.
-->'''Mike:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I’m gonna go ahead and guess the boys are an eleven and not a two]], [[CaptainObvious which would make them toddlers.]]

-->'''Mike:''' What are you, having a baby in there? ''[to Lou]'' Hello. ''[to Gale]'' You didn't tell me your family was in from out of town.
-->''[Wayne emerges with a shotgun; Lou quickly draws his revolver on him]''
-->'''Mike:''' Whoops.
-->'''Lou:''' Got to ask you your business here.
-->'''Mike:''' Maybe I'm the owner.
-->'''Lou:''' Nope. Met the owner this morning.
-->'''Mike:''' Is that right? Maybe tell us where he is. Make a few bucks.
-->'''Lou:'''' I was gonna ask you the same. ''[beat]'' Say, you wouldn't by any chance be Mike Milligan and The Kitchen Brothers, would you?
-->'''Mike:''' ''[laughs]'' [[AGoodNameForARockBand You make us sound like a prog rock band.]] "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mike Milligan and The Kitchen Brothers!" ''[Gale uses this distraction to grab the shotgun that he had earlier tried to grab; as he does so, Lou trains his revolver on him]'' Double whoops.
-->'''Lou:''' Easy.
-->'''Mike:''' Minnesota cop. You do know you're in North Dakota, right?
-->'''Lou:''' Must have got lost on the way to the lake.
-->'''Mike:''' So, where'd you say you saw ol' Skip?
-->'''Lou:''' At [[YourMom your mother]]’s house, I think going in the back door.
-->'''Mike:''' ''[to the brothers]'' [[AffablyEvil I like him.]] ''[to Lou]'' I like you. Met another fella from Minnesota yesterday. Big guy. Sheriff, I think. I liked him, too.
-->'''Lou:''' ''[knowing Mike is referring to when Hank detained him]'' We're a very friendly people.
-->'''Mike:''' ''[shakes his head]'' No, that's not it. [[MeaningfulEcho Pretty unfriendly, actually. But it's the way you're unfriendly-- how you're so polite about it. Like you're doing me a favor.]]
-->'''Lou:''' ''[clicks his tongue]'' Well, this has been enjoyable, but I better get going. ''[takes a step back, still dealing with the brothers training their shotguns on him]''
-->'''Mike:''' What did Nixon call it? "Peace with honor."
-->'''Lou:''' Something like that.
-->'''Mike:''' Naw. You stay. We've seen everything there is to see. ''[steps towards the door, along with the Brothers]'' "I am not a crook".

-->'''Bear:''' Know thyself.
-->'''Dodd:''' ''[slowly turning his head]'' Waddya on about?

-->'''Dodd:''' I'll have a chocolate glaze, and, uh... ''[looks to Charlie]''
-->'''Charlie:''' An old fashioned.
-->'''Dodd:''' ''[turns back to the counter]'' An old fash- ''[doubletakes at Charlie]'' An old-? ''[turns to the counter again]'' An old fashioned.

-->'''Karl''': If you get the chance, ask him if Creator/JoanCrawford had crabs.
-->'''Lou''': Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

-->'''Lou''': Do you really think we'll get out of this mess we're in?
-->'''Reagan''': [[{{Eagleland}} Son, there's not a challenge on God's earth that can't be overcome by an American.]] And I truly believe that.
-->'''Lou''': Yeah, but... how?
-->'''Reagan''': (smiles, pats Lou on the shoulder, and leaves)

-->'''Ed:''' She's a nice lady--
-->'''Lou:''' ''Shut up.''

-->'''Karl''': You hear that Sonny? There's a crisis at the highest level, so who do they call? The best lawyer in town.
-->'''Sonny''': [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative Aren't you the only lawyer in town, Karl?]]
-->'''Karl''': Yes, but that's because I scared away all the... *nearly falls over getting out of his chair* Great Caesar's ghost. It would appear I'm a little unstable... Though I am sound in mind and body and ready to run circles around the inferior minds of the Rock County sheriff's department.
-->'''Sonny''': Lou's a state cop, Karl.
-->'''Karl''': Shut up Sonny. *beat* We'll need you to drive, however.

-->'''Karl''': [[IncomingHam Greetings and salutations! I have made the pilgrimage from the Hall of Veterans as George Washington once forded the Delaware. Steely in my resolve, prepared to battle unto my dying breath for the rights--]]
-->'''Denise''': Lawyer's here.
-->'''Karl''': ''(In a completely normal tone)'' Hey, Denise. ''([[LargeHam Back to ham]])'' For the rights of free men!
-->'''Percy''': Hey, Karl, Ed's in back.
-->'''Karl''': [[{{Eagleland}} Rights that were squeezed from British oppression like water from a stone! That all men are created equal, free from the jackboot tyranny and gulag magic tricks of nameless, faceless committees]] -
-->'''Lou''': Hey, hope they didn't wake ya.
-->'''Karl''': Out of my way, tool of the state! For I am come to comfort and counsel my client, even as you seek to prison him--
-->'''Lou''': Yeah, whatever you're gonna do, you got 30 minutes.
-->'''Karl''': [[ChewingTheScenery Don't dictate terms to me, you rogue! For the law is a light on a hill, calling to its breast all those in search of justice. To whit, this poor, mottled wretch in front of me.]]
-->'''Ed''': Hey, Karl.

-->'''Karl''': Please excuse the obvious death penalty snafu. I'm slightly inebriated.

-->'''Karl''': My choices outside this building are none of your... But, no, Sonny valeted me here tonight.

-->'''Karl''': It's possible I soiled myself.

--> '''Ed''': Honey, did you stab him?\\

--> '''Mike''': Okay then.

-->'''Karl''': Out of my way, tool of the state!