History Funny / Elementary

-->'''Holmes''': ...And when he found out, he turned the screw...\\

* Interrogating a women who'd [[been blackmailed with a video of her former prostitution.]]

--> '''Holmes''': Gregson, this is Watson, my personal ''valet''.
--> '''Watson''': *DeathGlare*

--> '''Ty''': So... He's your boyfriend.
--> '''Watson''': No.
--> '''Watson''' (''Two seconds later, realizing what Ty just said''): Wow. Uh, not even close.

--> '''Watson''': (''watching Holmes work his jaw after being slapped'') She got you good, huh?
--> '''Holmes''': Lefty. Caught me by surprise. (''indicating left side of his face'') This side--leathery from slaps. (''indicating right side'') This side--baby's bottom.

-->'''Watson''': I'm sorry, are you trying to take credit for the fact that I saved your life?
-->'''Holmes''': *deer in headlights*
-->'''Watson''': And so soon after you promoted me to bodyguard!

-->'''Bell''': Tell me something I don't know.
-->'''Holmes''': [[AskAStupidQuestion A pig's orgasm can last up to thirty minutes.]]

** In the lift, Sherlock gives an awkward apology to the AlmightyJanitor for earlier. The janitor says nothing, gets out of the lift...but not before he presses every button up to Sherlock's floor.

--> '''Holmes''': I swore I was wearing a shirt at some point.

* "Child Predator":

** Holmes is attempting to determine the validity of a coma patient's coma [[spoiler: (answer, not much)]]. His preferred method? Stab her in the thigh with a needle. (Specifically, in the softest part of her thigh; "Plenty of nerve endings there.") Watson stops him and tests the patient herself. By picking up the woman's hand and dropping it directly onto her face.[[hottip:*:(That's actually a standard medical check to see if a patient is fully unconscious; the natural reaction for someone with at least some measure of awareness and motor control is to steer the hand away from the face.)]] Holmes' reaction is priceless:

** Holmes is attempting to determine the validity of a coma patient's coma [[spoiler: (answer, not much)]]. His preferred method? Stab her in the thigh with a needle. (Specifically, in the softest part of her thigh; "Plenty of nerve endings there.") Watson stops him and tests the patient herself. By picking up the woman's hand and dropping it directly onto her face. Holmes' reaction is priceless:

** Watson's reaction to the suggestion that Sherlock is her boyfriend.

** Holmes is attempting to determine the validity of a coma patient's coma [[spoiler: (answer, not much)]]. His preferred method? Stab her in the thigh with a needle. Watson stops him and tests the patient herself. By picking up the woman's hand and dropping it directly onto her face. Holmes' reaction is priceless:

*** [[IronicEcho Into the softest part of his thigh. "Plenty of nerve endies there."]]

* A humorous scene where we see Holmes introducing Watson to Gregson. Just seconds ago, Watson insisted that she is his companion.

* The show's nod to how someone like Holmes likely would adapt to modern times: occasionally he just {{Google}}s something.
* Holmes's [[BlatantLies reaction]] to Watson's success interrogating the previous strangulation victim after he failed.
* Watson finding an old violin that Holmes used to play...which he promptly lights ablaze the second her back is turned.
* Holmes accuses a woman of murdering two of her siblings, to which she responds by slapping him in the face. In the next scene he remarks that the only reason it hurt was because she was a lefty and he's used to getting slapped on the right.
* Holmes is attempting to determine the validity of a coma patient's coma [[spoiler: (answer, not much)]]. His preferred method? Stab her in the thigh with a needle. Watson stops him and tests the patient herself. By picking up the woman's hand and dropping it directly onto her face. Holmes' reaction is priceless:

* The opening of the second episode shows Holmes in group therapy being unusually still. When Watson puts her hand on him, he jumps up shouting and then happily leaves as if nothing happened. It turns out that he had hypnotized himself into a trance. The next time they're at a meeting, Holmes is about to doze off when Watson threatens to jab a thumbtack into his thigh. The look on her face wisely shuts him up.

--> '''Holmes''': Gregson, this is Watson, my personal ''valet''

* The show's nod to how someone like Holmes likely would adapt to modern times: occasionally he just Googles something.

* A humorous scene where we see Holmes introducing Watson to Gregson. Just seconds ago, Watson insisted that she is his comapanion.

---> Holmes: Gregson, this is Watson, my personal ''valet''
---> Watson: *DeathGlare*