History Funny / DragonBallZAbridgedAndroidsCellSaga

'''Dream!Cell:''' I think it has a [[JustForPun perfect]] ring to it!\\

'''Nail:''' [[JustForPun "Nail Gun"?]]\\

-->'''Cell:''' So, can I help you? 'Cause if you're looking for another broken arm, [[CallBack you could always help me find Android 18]].

'''Vegeta:''' ''({{beat}})'' [[MercyLead I'm giving you a five minute head start.]]\\
'''Yamcha:''' (''In the same tone as before'') Thank you. I'm going to need it. You're very fast.

'''Krillin:''' ... So, Tien, have you been lifting? Because you are jacked.\\
'''Tien:''' Yeah. Who knows? Maybe ''I'll'' be the next Super Sayian.\\

--->'''Piccolo:''' [[AccidentalInnuendo I'm here for your body]].\\

'''Vegeta:''' I'm going to enjoy [[AccidentalInnuendo wearing down the knuckles on these gloves]]...\\

--->'''Goku''': Okay, [[AccidentalInnuendo but we can't use the back door. Chi-Chi says I'm not allowed to anymore.]]

'''Trunks''': ''(innocently)'' Oh, well. When Dad's out of the chamber, [[AccidentalInnuendo he'll probably want a swing at you]].\\

--->'''Trunks:''' Well, Freeza! Looks like you ''[[IncrediblyLamePun dropped the ball!]]''\\
''(Freeza glares)''\\

* When Trunks confronts Freeza, he invokes SpellMyNameWithAnS. It's Freeza and Cold's "WTF" reaction that sells it.
--> '''Trunks:''' So, you must be Frieza ("Fry-za").\\

-->'''King Cold:''' ''(angrily)'' You ''murdered'' my ''princess! (camly)'' ...Oh, well. You win some, you lose some.\\

'''Satan:''' ''[weakly]'' …[[CallForward I have a daughter]].\\

-->'''Jimmy Firecracker:''' Jimmy Firecracker here, live from the Cell Games (presented by Hetap). Because apparently nobody else would take this job. But don't worry about me, because Jimmy Fire [[WaxingLyrical crack corn and he don't]] give a fuck. He'll take any job, he'll take every job, he'll take ''your job''. And speaking of jobs, nobody else is here yet. Will Jimmy Firecracker have to get in that ring? Does Jimmy Firecracker gotta come down there and ''slap'' that perfect jawline?! ''[car drives up]'' It looks like Cell is saved the wrath of Jimmy Firecracker as his first opponent has arrived.

--->'''Jimmy Firecracker:''' My God... this orange hillbilly ''beats his wife!''\\
'''Goku:''' It really wasn't much of a fight... One hit and she just went down. Then we got married, I put a baby in her and now she [[StayInTheKitchen just says at home, cooks me dinner, and raises our kid]]. \\
'''Chi-Chi:''' Y'know... when he puts it that way…

-->'''King Cold:''' ''(angrily)'' You ''murdered'' my ''princess! (clamly)'' ...Oh, well. You win some, you lose some.\\
''({{beat}})''\\

** Not to mention that Satan is clearly patterned after pro wrestlers like Wrestling/HulkHogan (who was huge in Japan well before he was a U.S superstar when the original DBZ series ran), who the original character was inspired by. His mention of his "Hot Asian Wife" is a direct reference to Wrestling/KarlAnderson.

* Cell's [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe reaction to Mr. Satan's arrival]].

** Anyone who predicted that [[IdiotHero Goku]] would cheer on Mr. Satan was completely correct. It makes his inevitable defeat even more hilarious.
--->'''Piccolo:''' [[AsideGlance I can't tell if he's serious]] [[BreakingTheFourthWall and that's very concerning.]]

'''''Beat'''''\\

-->'''King Cold:''' ''(angrily)'' You ''murdered'' my ''princess! ''(clamly)'' ...Oh, well. You win some, you lose some.\\

'''Tien:''' ''(off-screen)'' Kikoho! ''(explosion)''\\
'''Cell:''' ''(off-screen)'' ''[[AtomicFBomb FUUUUUUUCK!!!]]''

** Vegeta, who's moderately eloquent, [[SophisticatedAsHell even if quite crass at times]], yelling "dibs" at the top of his lungs is pretty funny in itself.

-->'''Cell:''' You see, my dear prince.\\
'''Vegeta:''' Don't push it.\\

'''Vegeta:''' I WAS F**KING KIDDING!!

--->'''Cell:''' ''(thinking to himself rapidly)'' He's gonna kick me again, isn't he? '''[[JokeAndReceive *KICK*]]'''

--->'''Cell:''' ''(thinking to himself rapidly)'' He's gonna kick me again, isn't he? '''[[JokeAndReceive *KICK*]]''' ''(after Cell picks himself up from the rubble)'' \\

--->'''Cell:''' ''(thinking to himself rapidly)'' He's gonna kick me again, isn't he? ''(after picking himself up from the rubble)'' Alright, I'm gonna need you to do me a solid and not kick me anymore!

-->'''Krillin:''' ''(singsong)'' [[{{Squick}} And then she tried to BANG you!]]

'''Store Owner:''' ''(while running back inside)'' [[OhCrap Oh, no, no, no, no, nononononononono-]]

'''Trunks:''' Oh, uh... hey, what's that?!

* To prove that he still has the time machine with him, Trunks activates its capsule... [[DidntThinkThisThrough while he's on the plane carrying Goku.]] HilarityEnsues.

* Tien is outraged by how much Trunks was holding back. Piccolo assumes it's because [[CantCatchUp the gap keeps widening]], but it's actually because he could've easily killed 18, Cell ''or'' [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Veg]][[TheFriendNobodyLikes eta]].

'''Cell 4:''' '''''[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers CANNON!]]'''''

'''Vegeta:''' I call dibs!

'''Vegeta:''' ''(offscreen)'' SHUT UP!

'''Vegeta:''' ''(under his breath)'' [[LameComeback Don't make me come over there.]]

'''Nail and Kami:''' Makankosappo!\\

'''Cell 1:''' MA\\
'''Cell 2:''' KANKO\\
'''Cell 3:''' SA\\
'''Cell 4:''' [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers CANNON!]]

'''King Kai:''' …my [[SoundEffectBleep f*cking]] ''name is in it.''

'''Dende''': ...[[BlatantLies God stuff]].\\

'''Dende:''' ...''(smirks)'' Yo.

'''Vegeta:''' (''offscreen'') [[YankTheDogsChain I won't; you suck!]]\\
'''Yamcha:''' …Oh.

'''Piccolo:''' Okay, I am...''90% sure'' I can't do that.[[labelnote:*]]Which is true; Namekians need [[RemovingTheHeadOrDestroyingTheBrain their head]] intact to regenerate any part of their body, even a whole one.[[/labelnote]]\\

'''Krillin:''' ...coping.

-->''(Goku starts screaming again)''\\

-->'''Krillin:''' [[TooDumbToLive Why do I do things?]]

'''Android 18:''' Oh my god.\\

'''Android 18:''' ''Oh my god.''

-->'''Krillin:''' Okay, [[TemptingFate Trunks can handle this.]] I mean that sword cut Freeza in half-
** Trunks' sword shatters against 18's arm...
-->'''Krillin:''' ''(high pitched, distressed voice)'' ''Oh, NO...''

-->'''Krillin:''' Okay, we need a plan! We need to-

-->'''Krillin:''' RUN AWAY, [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe OH MY GOD!]]

* Karma isn't done kicking Vegeta's ass…

'''Vegeta:''' You stupid bint! [[TemptingFate You only broke one of my a]]--\\

** This comes right on the heels of Vegeta asking himself [[CallingYourAttacks "Why do I yell things?"]]

'''Krillin:''' ''(sputters)'' …Aw, damn it, you can't kill Goku.\\

'''Kami:''' …well that didn't last long.\\

'''Piccolo:''' …[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness Okay, what's up with him]]?\\

-->''(Android 18 headbutts Vegeta to shut his mouth after he calls her "washing machine", a drop of blood runs across face.)''\\

-->'''Vegeta:''' So, ladies first, then? Well, just to warn you...''I'm not afraid to hit a woman.''\\

-->'''Vegeta:''' I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT EASY ON YOU ANYMO--''(gets slapped right into a mountain)''\\