History Funny / DragonAgeInquisition

-->'''Sera''': Blah blah blah! Obey me! Arrow in my face.

** He also makes sure to [[CovertPervert appreciate the Inquisitor's bottom by holding it while their kissing.]]

-->'''Inquisitor:''' ''(Ha! Community service!)'' I call for rehabilitation! The skull shall do public theater about the evils [[ShapedLikeItself of evil]]. I also judge the box: End table for orphans.

** Deploying the Jar of Bees in battle is just as hilarious. Instead of the StandardStatusEffects ("Staggered," "Poisoned," etc) flags, targeted enemies display a single flag combining the Poisoned and Panicked effects: [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "BEES!"]]

* The ''Inquisition'' [[http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Codex_entry:_The_City-State_of_Kirkwall codex entry on Kirkwall.]] It's a template from the desk of the provisional Viscount in response to any and all would be conquerors. Since said provisional Viscount happens to be [[BeleagueredBureaucrat previously-Seneschal Bran]], the placeholder comments are gloriously passive-aggressive.
* Sera can invite the Inquisitor along to play pranks on her advisers. She first suggests messing with Cullen's desk somehow, but grumbles that it's too big and heavy to move. If the Inquisitor has already [[spoiler:had sex on that same desk with Cullen]], she'll add "Yes, it's... sturdy."

-->'''Cullen''': ''(petulantly)'' The Circle had a large library. I'm quite well read.\\

* If you have Varric, Dorian and Cassandra in your group, Dorian will ask about the [[UnresolvedSexualTension UST]] he feels Varric and Cassandra are having. Neither of them are amused.

-->''Sad Splinters - The despondent remains of a once proud keep door.''

* Josephine has a funny OutOfCharacterMoment when you first get crowned Inquisitor. All of Skyhold is cheering you on and Josephine gets [[NotSoAboveItAll swept up in the moment and bellows a chant herself]]. What sells it is Cullen looking bemusedly at her and Josephine trying to cover her face when she realize what she did.

* Cassandra and Sera have a bonding moment at Therinfal, when you first meet the red Templars:

** More about nugs and Leliana. Vivienne mention in one mission how nugs become a fashion as a pet between orlesian noblewomen. The best part? It was Leliana who started that fashion when she brought Schmooples to Val Royeaux.

* Varric's story about Hawke is hilarious if it is taken out of [[TearJerker context]]. Even Varric seems like he's on the verge of both crying and laughing at the same time through the entire story. Some idiot decided that the best way to get his money back from the constantly broke Gamlen was to attack Hawke. So, he sent a bunch of thugs to "collect" from the rich nephew/niece. Needless to say, it didn't go as planned:

* In one mission, Vivienne mention that nugs become popular pets for orlesian noblewomen. The best part? It was Leliana who started that fashion when she brought Schmooples to Val Royeaux.

* In the Fade, you fight personifications of various fears. Each character perceives them as something that frightens them personally, but to the player they look like spiders. They are all named after fears, like "Drowning," "Senility," "Failure," etc. Later on one of them is named "Ironically, Spiders".

*** It's also hilarious if the Inquisitor is romancing Cullen himself, since she's the ''last'' one to turn around... and it's implied that she doesn't exactly want to.

** It depends on which quest you did and if you recruited Dorian or Cole first, as if you recruited the mages and Dorian first, ''he's'' the one to walk past and comment on the book. And by comment, we mean gleefully tell the Inquisitor that Cassandra is reading poor quality smutty literature as casually as if he were commenting on the weather.

* "Taarsidath-An Haslaam" - approximate translation: "I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking about this with great respect." The Qunari version of the line gets delivered by Iron Bull [[InLoveWithYourCarnage while fighting a dragon]], something the Inquisitor can incredulously lampshade.

-->'''Stitches:''' [[MythologyGag That's because it's a poultice, ser. You're not supposed to drink it]].

* Sera's EstablishingCharacterMoment during her recruitment quest has get tipped off about the location of the guards' quarters. So she goes in and mucks about with their stuff so they can't respond as effectively. Did she remove their weapons? Nope - [[NakedPeopleAreFunny she nicked their breeches]]. Using the tactical camera to zoom in on the enemies in that segment [[DevelopersForesight confirms that they are not wearing pants]].

'''Dorian''': Not helpful. But given our history, I'll accept it. "Thaumaturgy?"\\

** Alternatively, picking Leliana will have one of her agents pose as a member of the Inquisitor's old mercenary band. Unfortunately for all, the agent in question is [[DidntThinkThisThrough a small and scrawny elf, and the mercenaries are all tall, grey-skinned and muscular horned humanoids]]. Your contact tells you that they first tried painting the agent grey and putting him on stilts, and after that didn't work, they just stuffed him in their trunk with the rest of their gear.
-->Don't think he likes trunks anymore.

* If you played the short interactive novel ''The Last Court'' and transferred the data through the keep, you get a small series of war-missions involving the Marquis. The last one has them being kidnapped. If you send Leliana's spies to track them down, they find [[spoiler:the Marquis playing chess with their captor]].

* After the Winter Palace event, assuming [[spoiler: you have had to kill Grand Duchess Florianne]], you will have the possibility to [[spoiler: judge her remains in a smelly wooden box]] and make an inquisition agent out of her. Again, Josephine's reaction to the entire events sells it, not to mention the Inquisitor's way of phrasing the order of making her an agent.

--> [[spoiler:'''Florianne:''']] My heels are... parallel with soil.

** The date takes place in a clearing near Skyhold, with candles and flowers for a more romantic atmosphere and the Inquisitor [[MilkingTheGiantCow reciting]] her a poem. A rather... ''saucy'' poem. Cassandra's embarrassment, awe, and look that screams "Oh this is adorable" is truly hilarious to behold.

* There's some DarkComedy in "The Magister's Birthright", which is only available if you romance Dorian. Depending on the responses you make, you have the option to ''stab'' the merchant, who is too stubborn to return Dorian's amulet. Dorian's response to this before he [[WhatTheHellHero angrily calls you out]] back in Skyhold?

--> '''Merchant''': Perhaps you should accept your ''friend's'' help, monsieur.
--> '''Dorian''': [[ForeignCussWord Kaffas]]! I know what ''you'' think, and he's not my friend. He's...
--> ''The Inquisitor glares at him indignantly.''
--> '''Dorian''': ''(flustered)'' Never mind what he is!

-->''(eyes on Iron Bull)''\\

-->'''Josephine''': Why do this? Why risk everything we've built? Why risk your ''life''?
-->'''Inquisitor''': Because I love you!
-->'''Josephine''': You... You do?
-->'''Otranto''': ''[[TooDumbToLive He/she does]]?''

-->'''Inquisitor:''' I demand a unflattering report of your performance as a hold-beast. It will be recited to you every day for one week. I trust this will be sufficient [[IncrediblyLamePun em'bear'rassment?]]
-->'''Cassandra:''' [[AsideGlance Ugh.]]
** Even better: Your judgement can be for the bear to ''join the Inquisition'', thus possibly dethroning [[spoiler:Florianne's corpse]] as the most hilariously bizarre Inquisitorial agent. In addition, when Cullen goes to met the new 'recruit,' she apparently looked at his fur-lined armor, decided he was a cub with mange, and started to lick him. And if you choose Cullen's path in the ensuing War Table mission (which one of the advisors has dubbed ''[[OverlyLongGag Too Grizzly To Bear,]]'' this (written) exchange happens after Cullen's report of the outcome:

** Storvacker's codex entry is a giant shout out to ''Film/MeanGirls'', specifically being a parody of the "How do I begin to explain Regina George?" sequence.

* Once you finish the DLC's main questline, there's a Deep Roads expedition called A Cry for Help that involves [[spoiler: searching for Valta after she decides to remain within the Titan.]] Apparently, a scout heard a scream and one of your advisors suggests that [[spoiler:Valta]] is trying to "reestablish contact with her people".

** There's also the part where Rocky runs off screen, an explosion happens, and Rocky comes flying/falling back into (and out of) frame, as Krem inspects his gauntlet, as if he'd been doing a mental countdown to the explosion.

** The scene on the whole is very funny if the Inquisitor is a Qunari, because they're afraid they might break someone or something. Becomes even more funny once a giant person with horns that scares everyone is suddenly wearing a leotard and all of a sudden, the Inquisitor's constant worrying carries a whole different meaning.

** Even funnier, the Inquisitor can hear Sera playing with the servants, and keeps concernedly asking what that sound is, to which Vivienne (who is completely indifferent) admonishes the Herald for stressing, since it ruins the point of spa day.

* A possible response to "I suppose you have questions" is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JvxH1WThhQ "Not really, no."]] Instead of having a long, heartstring-pulling conversation, Solas looks deeply irritated, and summarizes everything in less than a minute. The Inquisitor doesn't even get to say anything else. Made even more darkly funny if Solas had low opinion of you throughout the game. Or you didn't bother talking to him at all the whole time he's recruited:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drZdvO1rnn0 One of the behind the scenes videos]] has Alix Wilton Regan, the British voice of the female Inquisitor, show how dedicated she is to delivering a convincing job in the booth... including {{Spit Take}}s. This involves her deliberately missing the bucket, and hitting the guy holding it, instead. For the entire allotted time. At the end of it, the poor guy looks like he's been dunked in a pool. His stoic demeanour and lack of response makes it all the sweeter.

* The Bull's Chargers (apart from Krem) are such a mix of DysfunctionJunction and CrazyAwesome that they make Iron Bull seem [[OnlySaneMan normal]] in comparison. To the point:

** The Qunari Inquisitor's old mercenary band seems to be CrazyAwesome in general. In the first letter you get from them, you're basically being admonished for falling out of a rift and on your head, forgetting who you are. The letter then tells you to stop that ("seriously"), because the mercenaries haven't been paid yet. Complete the mission by having Leliana's agents free a few mercenaries and you'll get another letter. The letters end with the following:

* The entire credits sequence is ''gold'': Cassandra reads excerpts from Varric's memoirs about the Inquisition, in all their PurpleProse glory. Made even funnier by Cass's fantastically bad impressions of the other characters when reading their dialogue, and giving honest critique of most all she reads. Made funnier still if Inquisitor sees Varric give her the book and gives an AsideGlance; odds are the small quest in the main game was completed and they know where this is going.

** He later invites the Inquisitor to the lake near Honnleath, his childhood home. A sweet, normal moment that leaves the Inquisitor wondering:
--->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Femquisitor]]:''' How will you survive [[{{Workaholic}} without a parade of messengers and war reports]]?\\

--->'''Iron Bull:''' Aw, c'mon. They've gotten it halfway into the tavern by now.

-->'''Cassandra:''' Wait, where am I? I don’t... oh, here it is. "The Seeker clutched at my vest, her tears as desperate as they were pitiful." 'Varric, I was wrong about ''everything'',' she sobbed. 'Could you find it in your noble heart to forgive me?' ''(angry)'' That dwarf, he... he... ''(overjoyed)'' ...he put me in the book! ''(giggles)'' I'm in the book! ''({{beat}})'' I'm reading the ''shit'' out of this.

** The epilogue also shows Hawke (providing that they're still alive) and Aveline taking great pleasure in Varric's new position, to his apparent exasperation.

-->"There's no accounting for taste."
-->"You went with ''that''?"
-->"I liked your old nose better!"

-->'''Cassandra:''' "The Iron Bull was a great slab of muscle with horns that could hang a tapestry. One eye scanned for threats, while the other hid behind an eye patch like a Chantry sister’s old sins. 'Come on,' he barked, not looking back as he entered. 'The dancer with [[BuxomIsBetter the great rack comes on in five.'" ''(amused)'' That is... spot-on, actually.

-->'''Cassandra:''' Drops of rain glistened on the griffon medallion grasped tightly in Blackwall’s hand. 'The Silverite Wings of Valor. They mean nothing.' He flung the medal to the cold and uncaring ground. '[[HurtingHero You don’t know what I’ve done!]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis You. Don’t. Know. Me.'" ''(sighs)'' [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel So romantic.]]

-->"The name's Dorian. D-O-R-I-A-N. Spell it right, you marble-headed lump, or it's... toad time." A toad? [[WhoWritesThisCrap That's hardly credible.]]
** When Cassandra gets to the part where she is in the book, tearfully begging for Varric's forgiveness for her misdeeds, you think she'd be angry, but instead she is ''overjoyed'' with her cameo. {{Fangirl}}, thy name is Cassandra.
--->'''Cassandra''': That dwarf, he... he... he put me in the book! ''(giggles)'' I'm in the book! I'm reading the ''shit'' out of this.

** Her pre-mortem one liner shortly before.

-->'''Leliana''': Everyone needs a hobby.

** Everyone gets fancy introductions to the fete until we reach the odd one out: Sera, who somehow managed to get into the event registered as "[[PunnyName Mai Bhalsych of Korse]]".[[note]]Which, when spoken out loud, sounds like "My balls itch, of course".[[/note]]

-->'''Announcer''': Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena-\\

-->'''Announcer''': ...Lord/Lady Inquisitor [insert name and origin]. Vanquisher of [[VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins the rebel mages of Ferelden]], crusher of [[VideoGame/DragonAgeII the vile apostates of the Mage Underground]].\\

-->'''Announcer''': ... Lord/Lady Inquisitor Cadash... or possibly Inquisitor Gavron, Helmi, Aeducan, or Paragon Fancy Pants.

* Lots of the overheard conversations in the Winter Palace are funny.
** Leliana [[CallBack critiques everyone's shoes]].
-->'''Leliana''': Everyone needs a hobby.
** Cullen attracts the unwanted attention of, by Blackwall's count, [[EvenTheGuysWantHim "nine women and six men"]]. (''"Did you just grab my bottom?!" "I am a weak man."/"I couldn't resist!"'') And while in TheWarRoom afterward, you find out that a number of those courtiers are attempting to court Cullen. Over his protestations, Josephine and Leliana devise ways to use the newfound situation to the Inquisition's advantage:
--->'''Cullen''': I am not bait!\\
'''Leliana''': Hush. Just look pretty.
** An unnamed dowager describing the many bizarre deaths of her multiple, ''multiple'' husbands (she claims to still be in mourning for number ''nine''). CartwrightCurse doesn't begin to describe it.
*** Number one was killed in the war with Ferelden.
*** Number two was thrown from his horse.
*** Number three died from Rosalia, which caused the Dowager to swear off marriage forever.
*** Number four was killed by a bear.
*** Number five fell from the bell tower of the Grand Cathedral. No one ever figured out why he was up there.
*** Number six turned out to be allergic to the bees that were attracted by their rose garden.
*** Perhaps the best is her ''seventh'' husband, who poisoned himself by drinking three glasses of ''aquae lucidius'' on an empty stomach.[[note]]A strong liquor distilled from wyvern venom.[[/note]]
--->"[[CallBack But at least he died at Chateau Haine!]]"
*** Number eight is also notable. ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Crushed by a cartload of fine handbags]]''.
*** The most recent is number nine. [[NoodleIncident The most violent tailoring accident ever]]. One can only wonder what grisly fate will befall number ten.
** Everyone gets fancy introductions to the fete until we reach the odd one out: Sera, who somehow managed to get into the event registered as "[[PunnyName Mai Bhalsych of Korse]]".[[note]]Which, when spoken out loud, sounds like "My balls itch, of course".[[/note]]
** Cassandra's introduction has the herald reading off her [[OverlyLongName impressive number of middle names]] until she interrupts him. One gets the feeling that he would have recited at least half a dozen ''more'' names if she hadn't stopped him, taking it truly UpToEleven.[[note]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Get it?]] 5+6=11 [[/note]]
-->'''Announcer''': Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena-\\
'''Cassandra''': Get on with it!\\
'''Announcer''': Pentaghast.
** The Inquisitor's introduction, if they sided with the mages:
-->'''Announcer''': ...Lord/Lady Inquisitor [insert name and origin]. Vanquisher of [[VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins the rebel mages of Ferelden]], crusher of [[VideoGame/DragonAgeII the vile apostates of the Mage Underground]].\\
'''Varric''': ''(if present)'' This guy writes better fiction than I do.
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHV5yLR5CSY The Dwarven Inquisitor has a unique introduction as a result of their casteless background]]:
-->'''Announcer''': ... Lord/Lady Inquisitor Cadash... or possibly Inquisitor Gavron, Helmi, Aeducan, or Paragon Fancy Pants.
** Solas, if brought along, is introduced as the Inquisitor's "elven manservant". Even if the Inquisitor is also an elf. Given the intros Sera and Cadash got away with, this was likely [[BeneathNotice his idea...]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OnFQuD4mlQ The Iron Bull and Inquisitor talk about everyone's safe words]].

-->'''([[AC:Krem voice]])''' Hey, Chief. Let's join the Inquisition! Good fights for a good cause!\\
'''([[AC:Normal voice]])''' I don't know, Krem. I hear there are demons.\\
'''([[AC:Krem voice]])''' Ah, don't worry about the demons, Chief. I'm sure we won't see many!\\
'''([[AC:Normal voice]])''' ''(grumbling)'' [-Can't believe I listened...-] '''ASSHOLE!'''

'''Cole''': No. Erimond is an ''[[SmugSnake arsehole]]''.\\

** What makes this better is not only that Cole says this in his usual InnocentlyInsensitive voice, but also the fact that Cole is a ''spirit of compassion''. When the physical manifestation of mercy calls you an asshole, you're a pretty fuckin' big asshole. And Cassandra just chuckles and commends the sentiment.

-->'''Cole:''' ''(eagerly)'' My name is --\\
'''Spirit:''' Compassion. ''Ugh''. Did I ''ask'' for your name?\\
'''Cole:''' Oh, sorry...

--->'''Spirit:''' What of you? I felt your coming. Is there something alike in us?\\
'''Inquisitor:''' There might be.\\
'''Sera:''' There better not be!\\
'''Spirit:''' Silence!\\
'''Sera:''' Hear these two fingers, you... I am ''not'' talking to it!

-->'''Leliana:''' Everyone needs a hobby.

--->'''Cullen:''' I am not bait!\\
'''Leliana:''' Hush. Just look pretty.
** An unnamed Dowager describing the many bizarre deaths of her multiple, ''multiple'' husbands (she claims to still be in mourning for number ''nine''). CartwrightCurse doesn't begin to describe it.

'''Cassandra:''' Get on with it!\\
'''Announcer:''' Pentaghast.

-->'''Announcer:''' ...Lord/Lady Inquisitor [insert name and origin]. Vanquisher of [[VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins the rebel mages of Ferelden]], crusher of [[VideoGame/DragonAgeII the vile apostates of the Mage Underground]].\\
'''Varric:''' ''(if present)'' This guy writes better fiction than I do.

-->'''Announcer:''' ....Lord/Lady Inquisitor Cadash... or possibly Inquisitor Gavron, Helmi, Aeducan, or Paragon Fancy Pants.

-->'''Morrigan:''' He will think this means I miss him, of course. ''(sighs)'' He will be insufferably pleased with himself. I hope you appreciate [[{{Tsundere}} this sacrifice]], Inquisitor.

-->'''Hawke:''' Is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don't know about?\\
'''Qunari Inquistor:''' I ''am'' a horde of rampaging Qunari.

--->'''Vivienne:''' You know, Varric darling, I read your ''Hard in Hightown''.\\
'''Varric:''' ''You'' did!? Seriously?\\
'''Vivienne:''' Most of the imperial court did. It was in fashion a few winters ago.\\
'''Varric:''' Just how much gold is my publisher stealing from me?

-->'''Inquisitor:''' The big demon Erimond was trying to bring through?\\
'''[[spoiler:Spirit!Justinia]]:''' Yes.\\
'''Inquisitor:''' It's nearby?\\
'''[[spoiler:Spirit!Justinia]]:''' Yes.\\
'''The Inquisitor:''' Well, shit.

-->'''Cassandra:''' What of Magister Erimond? Do you sense a secret pain in him?\\
'''Cole:''' No. Erimond is an ''[[SmugSnake arsehole]]''.\\
'''Cassandra:''' ''*chuckling*'' Well said.

-->'''Sera:''' What was ''that?''\\
'''Cassandra:''' Templars!\\
'''Sera:''' That's shite!\\
'''Cassandra:''' I know!

-->'''Alistair:''' Is that all you've got? I've heard worse from Morrigan!

-->'''Iron Bull:''' Oh, that is badass!\\
'''Sera:''' ''(laughs)'' Can we stick around and watch?

-->'''Alistair:''' Oh ''Maker'', I'm going to be answering that question for the rest of my life. ''(sighs)'' Yes, I was there, the Archdemon was big, the Hero of Ferelden was brave...

--->'''Messenger:''' He said that your request was "an insult to his rich Qunari heritage," Ambassador.

-->'''Flemeth:''' ''(to Morrigan)'' See, girl? ''This'' is what ''manners'' look like.

-->'''Iron Bull:''' ''(thwack!)'' Again. ''(thwack!)'' Again! ''(thwack!)'' Oh, come on! [[StayInTheKitchen This is why the Qun doesn't like women fighting!]] [[StrikeMeDownWithAllOfYourHatred I should have asked Cullen!]]\\
'''Cassandra:''' ''(DeathGlare, winds up and hits him so hard he gets knocked onto his back)''\\
'''Iron Bull:''' ''(wheezing)'' Good... one!

-->'''Dagna:''' ''(awed)'' Can I get a sample?\\
'''Inquisitor:''' A sample?\\
'''Dagna:''' Wait, [[ThatCameOutWrong that sounded sinister]]. Can I [[DiggingYourselfDeeper cut off a piece of you and do things to it]]? ''({{beat}})'' That didn't sound better, did it?

-->'''Josephine:''' And what did he do with the last batch of letters?\\
'''Assistant:''' Lord Varric was building a small model boat with them when I left.\\

'''Josephine:''' He wants the manuscript sent where?\\
'''Assistant:''' To Kirkwall. The Coterie, in Darktown. The address is a stick figure with a knife in its back.\\
'''Josephine:''' Oh! [[CallBack That's his editor.]] I'll handle it.\\

'''Josephine:''' How? How can one elf [[BigEater eat so much jam]]?\\
'''Assistant:''' She ran off when we discovered the fingerprints on the davenport.\\
'''Josephine:''' Get a better lock on that door immediately. I'll talk with Sera later.

-->'''Cullen:''' I know Sera was in here. When I find out what she's done I will.... [[LameComeback do something back!]]\\
'''Assistant:''' Of course, sir.\\

'''Sera:''' Tell Cullen ''(breaks into an impressive EvilLaugh)''.\\
'''Assistant:''' I'm... not sure I can do the message justice, miss.\\

'''Cullen:''' It's a "peace offering"?\\
'''Assistant:''' Yes.\\
'''Cullen:''' [[IdiotHero Sera]] used the words [[OutOfCharacterAlert "peace offering"]]?\\
'''Assistant:''' Yes, sir.\\
'''Cullen:''' Someone's helping her.

-->'''Cullen:''' Bull used '''every''' shield in the armory for this?\\
'''Assistant:''' He said it was a training exercise, should I tell him not to do it again?\\
'''Cullen:''' [[NotSoAboveItAll No, have him tell me next time]], [[CrazyEnoughToWork I want to see if that would work.]]

-->'''Cullen:''' Gloat all you like, I have this one.\\
'''Dorian:''' Are you... ''sassing'' me, [[TheStoic Commander]]? I didn't know you [[NotSoAboveItAll had it in you]].\\
'''Cullen:''' Why do I even... ''(jumps out of his chair)'' Inquisitor!\\
'''Dorian:''' Leaving, are you? Does this mean I win?\\

'''Inquisitor:''' You're taking this rather seriously.\\
'''Dorian:''' [[HypocriticalHumour He is, isn't he?]] You need to come to terms with my inevitable victory. You'll feel much better.\\
'''Cullen:''' Really? Because I just won. And I feel fine.\\
'''Dorian:''' Don't get smug. There will be no living with you.\\

'''Cullen:''' Well, I believe the game is mine.\\
'''Inquisitor:''' Wait, what?\\
'''Cullen:''' ''(holding back laughter)'' Dorian cheats at this as well.

'''Varric:''' Hawke just... had that effect on people.

-->'''Inquisitor:''' Well, let's hope we find solutions, and not a cathedral full of chancellors.\\
'''Cullen:''' The stuff of nightmares!

-->'''Iron Bull:''' Looks like dragon territory. Oh, this is gonna be ''good''!
-->'''Iron Bull:''' Would look at that! That is ''MAGNIFICENT''!

--->'''Milton:''' We could try the caves?
--->'''Lonnie:''' [patronizingly] You hate spiders!

-->'''Kieran:''' Mother didn't say you were a dwarf.\\
'''Dwarf!Inquisitor:''' You caught me! And I was trying so hard to be taller.\\
'''Kieran:''' ''(sadly)'' I know how you feel.\\

'''Kieran:''' Mother didn't say you were an elf.\\
'''Elf!Inquisitor:''' It was the ears that gave me away, wasn't it?\\
'''Kieran!:''' They're ''very'' large.

-->'''Rion:''' This one said something about your mother! ''All'' your mothers! Kill it!

-->'''Cabot:''' A few complaining that you've time to bed your allies. I don't judge. Much.

-->'''Inquisitor:''' What's the current mood?
-->'''Cabot:''' ''Scorn.''

-->'''Iron Bull:''' So, owl you doing?\\
'''Dorian:''' [[LamePunReaction Uch]].

-->'''Inquisitor:''' So none of you are actually in charge, here.
-->'''Roderick:''' ''(indignantly)'' You ''killed'' everyone who was in charge!

-->'''Varric:''' [[WeirdnessMagnet Everything that happens to you is weird.]]

'''Inquisitor:''' ''Ever?''\\

--> '''Bull''': *snoring* Tama, never wanted any, I swear...

-->'''Inquisitor:''' So who gets to tell Cullen and Josephine that we are probably at war with the Qun? Anyone?
-->'''Any companion:''' Hell no, you do it.
-->'''Inquisitor:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck (sigh) They're going to kill me.]]

-->'''Maryden:''' ♪ Sera was never... ♪ '''*crunch*'''
-->'''Sera:''' Creepy song is creepy...ugggh.

--> '''Varric:''' Yes, why ''do'' people build their houses bigger than themselves?
--> '''Sera:''' *annoyed sigh* Yeah, all right, fair play.

--> '''Weekes:''' Thedas is a pretty big place, and unless you go around burninating the peasants, you may never come to the attention of the templars.

--> '''Indira:''' ... Just tell her to go [[SoundEffectBleep BLEEP]] herself.

-->'''Interviewer:''' I'm going to do it anyway.