History Funny / Dilbert

-->'''Garbageman''' [[[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan]]]: This might seem odd to you, but I do. Get in.

** PHB off-offhandedly mentions Howard's inability to keep a secret. Howard: "WHY DO YOU SAY THINGS YOU KNOW WILL HURT ME?"

* Dilbert: "[[http://dilbert.com/strip/1991-11-28 I wonder what would happen if you let [the Senators] talk as long as they wanted.]] I bet they'd starve to death... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint but there's probably a downside.]]]]

* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1997-03-08 This strip of Ratbert as an overpowered consultant], which Scott Adams pointed as an example of a strip with so many humorous elements that virtually everyone can find something to laugh about in it in ''The Joy of Work''.

-->'''PHB:''' "You need a new kybard? What's a kybard?"
-->'''Dilbert:''' "JUST SIGN THE STUPID THING!!!!"

-->'''Dilbert:''' (thinking) "The employees respond to my merest gesture. This gesture means 'all is well.'"

-->'''Employee:''' "We tossed Johnson out the window like you gestured, sir."
-->'''Dilbert''' (thinking) "Oops."

-->'''Dogbert:''' "No, I don't think faces grow back."

-->'''PHB:''' "This is very hard for me to say...well, actually it's not: you're fired. Clean out your desk and leave."

* A strip featuring Dogbert as a police negotiator cotained Dogbert convincing a criminal to surrender. It's followed by the police ([[FamilyFriendlyFirearms wielding donuts]]) opening fire. What ''really'' makes it funny is Adams' recollection of it. Apparently it originally involved the police being shown holding guns and opening fire, and then holding guns and with a single panel of just gun noises, but he was forced to change it both times. Not because it implied the police were shooting a surrendering suspect, but because it ''clearly showed firearms being fired''.

* Dogbert tricking Dilbert into changing the temperature of his voice activated shower. First changing it to 14 (the age Dilbert rode a full bicycle) degrees, and then to ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' degrees.

* When signing for Dilbert's new computer, PHB says he'll use the same alias he uses when he goes line dancing. When the delivery guy mentions that you don't need an alias to go line dancing, the PHB replies, "You do when you kick as hard as I do"

-->'''PHB:''' "This is very hard for me to say...well, actually it's not: you're fired. Clean out your desk and leave."

* The celebrity judge for Dilberts parental trial turns out to be StoneColdSteveAustin.

* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, as its revealed in one episode he's been saving up his own sick days and trading others for theirs for years until he has enough to retire early. Of course, everyone else knows that not only cant you trade, but sick days dont accumulate, they expire at the end of each year, and are just using Wally to steal office supplies for them, as this is easier than ordering through the catalogue. He eventually finds this out after having mutated into a human-fly hybrid due to the incredibly unsanitary conditions of the office, and immediatly begins twitching like a dying fly.
** Hell, ALL the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Ashooks head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns into multiple-sclorosis, as she eventually loses all muscle control and is confined to an electric wheelchair.

* The Pointy-Haired Boss spoiling movie endings.

** PHB off-offhandedly mentions Howard's inability to keep a secret. Howard: "WHY DO YOU SAY THINGS YOU KNOW WILL HURT?"

-->'''PHB:''' "This is very hard for me to say...well, actually it's not: you're fired. Clean out your desk and leave."

* In the first episode, Dogbert serving as a consultant:
-->'''Loud Howard:''' "HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVER SEEN!"
-->'''Dogbert:''' (writing) "Recommendation: downsize the loud guy."
-->'''Loud Howard:''' "I-I WOULD LIKE TO RETRACT MY COMMENT!"
-->'''Dogbert:''' "Anyone else want a piece of me?"
----

* [[http://search.dilbert.com/comic/Uranus%20Hertz Dogbert suggests a new name for the company.]]

* A strip featuring Dogbert as a police negotiator ended with Dogbert convincing a criminal to put their weapon down and surrender. It's followed by the police ([[FamilyFriendlyFirearms wielding donuts]]) opening fire, shown by a single panel with Bang on it. What ''really'' makes it funny is Adams' recollection of it. Apparently it originally involved the police being shown holding firearms and opening fire, but he was forced to change it. Not because it implied the police were shooting a surrendering suspect, but because it ''clearly showed firearms being fired''.

* A strip featuring Dogbert as a police negotiator ended with Dogbert convincing a criminal to put their weapon down and surrender. It's followed by the police ([[FamilyFriendlyFirearms wielding donuts]] opening fire, shown by a single panel with Bang on it. What ''really'' makes it funny is Adams' recollection of it. Apparently it originally involved the police being shown holding firearms and opening fire, but he was forced to change it. Not because it implied the police were shooting a surrendering suspect, but because it ''clearly showed firearms being fired''.