History Funny / CasinoRoyale2006

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* Meta: During a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kuti0OpVJUU reunion Zoom call]], Mads Mikkelsen recalls to Daniel Craig on how they talked to each other for the first time during the casting of ''Casino Royale.'' Mikkelsen's audition scene would have been the chair-torturing scene and Craig was to be involved with it. After a heavy auditioning for the Bond Girls (which Craig was also involved with), they were having a smoke break where the director Martin Campbell (also tired after the audition) came up to Mikkelsen and said that he automatically got the role as Le Chiffre. What came next was a mixture of surprise and TranquilFury from Craig:
-->'''Craig:''' Who did you [[PrecisionFStrike fuck?]] I did six castings for this...

* When Bond has a chip installed so [=MI6=] knows where he is he lets out a deadpan ‘Ow’. He then spends the rest of the film getting beaten, poisoned, crashed, tortured and gets a nail in his back without complaint.

--> '''Le Chiffre:''' Anyone want to play poker now? ''(takes a puff from his inhaler)'' \\

--> '''Waiter:''' Shaken or stirred? \\

'''Vesper''': ''(in disbelief)'' '''Me?'''

--> '''Bond:''' I've got a little itch...down there." ''({{Beat}})'' Would you mind? \\

--> '''Vesper''': ''(on the verge of tears)'' You know, James... if all that was left of you were your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known.\\

* Bond gives his drink order at the poker table - three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken well over ice until chilled, and served with a large, thin slice of lemon peel (which is pretty much how the original novel had it!). That wouldn't be funny if not for the fact that ''half the players at the table'' (the cool-looking ones who last to the final round, no less) immediately decide they'd like to have one as well to tide them over, much to Le Chiffre's annoyance.

* Bond gives his drink order at the poker table - three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken well over ice until chilled, and served with a thin slice of lemon (which is pretty much how the original novel had it!). That wouldn't be funny if not for the fact that ''half the players at the table'' (the cool-looking ones who last to the final round, no less) immediately decide they'd like to have one as well to tide them over, much to Le Chiffre's annoyance.

** With [[ChekhovsGunman Felix Leiter]] making the point of changing the order slightly, telling the barman to "[[RatedMForManly Keep the fruit.]]"

* Felix Leiter introduces himself to Bond after [[spoiler:Bond loses his money and is about to kill Le Chiffre]]. Leiter says he is doing so badly that he is willing to [[spoiler:bankroll Bond back into the game]].

-->'''Bond''': I wouldn't dream of it.

-->'''Craig''': Who did you [[PrecisionFStrike fuck?]] I did six castings for this...

* Vesper's dry wit knows no boundaries. After a round, Bond goes up making to kiss her. She rebuffs him.

* Mathis' introductory scene in the book, where he pretends to be a salesman before playing loud music and telling Bond his room is bugged by Le Chiffre. After Mathis leaves, Bond starts loudly swearing just to annoy his surveyors.

-->'''Bond:''' ''(reading his orders)'' Apparently we're very much in love.
-->'''Vesper:''' Do you always leave it to valets to tell you such things?

'''Le Chiffre:''' ''(chuckles)'' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny You're a very funny man, Mr. Bond!]] ''(THUMP!)'' \\

* An understated moment; After Bond buys back in and begins beating Le Chiffre, the latter instinctively tries hiding the twitch that indicates he's bluffing. When he realises what he's doing, and that Bond knows about his tell, he immediately stops hiding it and opts to just fold, the jig obviously being up.

* An understated moment; After Bond buys back in, Le Chiffre instinctively tries hiding the twitch that indicates he's bluffing. When he realises what he's doing, and that Bond knows about his tell, he immediately stops hiding it and opts to just fold, the jig obviously being up.

* The end of Bond and Vesper's dueling SherlockScan scene on the train.
-->'''Vesper:''' So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money -- [[SophisticatedAsHell and off your perfectly-formed arse]].\\
'''Bond:''' ''(pleased)'' [[MrFanservice You noticed]].\\
'''Vesper:''' Even accountants have imaginations. How was your lamb?\\
'''Bond:''' Skewered. One sympathizes.

* A SugarWiki/{{Funny Moment|s}} happens when Bond completely destroys the moment while Le Chiffre tries to torture him:
--> '''Bond:''' I've got a little itch...down there." ''({{Beat}})'' Would you mind?
--> ''Le Chiffre huffs in annoyance, raises the carpet beater-- and gives a THUMP!''
--> '''Bond:''' ARGH--''[[BigNo NO!]]'' ''(grunts loudly)'' To the RIGHT--''TO THE RIGHT!''
--> '''Le Chiffre:''' ''(chuckles)'' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny You are a very funny man, Mr. Bond!]] ''(THUMP!)''
--> '''Bond:''' ARGH--[[BigYes YES!!!]] Yes! Yes! ''(busts a gut laughing)'' Now the whole WORLD'S gonna know that ''you died scratching my balls''!!!

* "I'm sorry. That last hand...[[GallowsHumor nearly killed me]]."
* Le Chiffre shares a smile with Valenka when he thinks he has the poker game in the bag with a high-scoring full house. Then the smile is wiped right off his face when Bond wins the game with a straight flush.
* James manages to turn Vesper's deeply touched expression into a Moment of Funny, after he reveals the password to transfer the money.
--> '''Vesper''': ''(on the verge of tears)'' You know, James... if all that was left of you were your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known.\\
''(dramatic pause; Bond leans in)''\\
'''Bond:''' That's because you know what I can do with my little finger.
* Bond gives his drink order at the poker table - three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken well over ice until chilled, and served with a thin slice of lemon (which is pretty much how the original novel had it!). That wouldn't be funny if not for the fact that ''half the players at the table'' (the cool-looking ones who last to the final round, no less) immediately decide they'd like to have one as well to tide them over, much to Le Chiffre's annoyance.
** With [[ChekhovsGunman Felix Leiter]] making the point of changing the order slightly, telling the barman to "[[RatedMForManly Keep the fruit.]]"
* Bond, at The Ocean Club trying to trace a message, gets [[MistakenForServant mistaken for a valet]] by a rude German tourist. He then proceeds to crash the car in the parking lot[[note]]''after'' parking perfectly [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall as if to show us he could]][[/note]] to create a distraction for security. For good measure, he then throws the key into a set of nearby bushes.
** Later the tourist turns up at the bar at the same time Bond does and gets this "Don't I know you?" look on his face. Bond shrugs it off, and even tells him "Guten Abend!" ("Good evening").

* Mendel (the banker's) appearance at the villa. From his ridiculously stiff jog up to interrupt Bond and Vesper to his foppish laugh that meets no reaction, he is one of the funniest characters in the movie.
** Mendel's entire CampStraight schtick in general is [[MoodWhiplash hilarious]] in a movie that is otherwise very much a serious fusion of Martini and Stale Beer SpyFiction.
* After Bond manages to stop the fuel truck from crashing into the plane, he pauses for a moment, looking around wide-eyed as if he can't believe he just did that. That alone is funny, but then he opens the door... and promptly falls flat on his face. And after getting up and dusting himself off... he's tackled by Miami-Dade police officers and slammed against a squad car.
** Followed by an almost comical OhCrap face from Carlos when he hits the trigger on his cell phone, only to discover that Bond clipped the bomb to the back of his belt when they were fighting, and Bond getting a sadistic grin on his face when the guy blows his own ass off.

'''Vesper:''' There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets. This is the latter. And I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table.\\

* After Vesper [[spoiler:revives Bond]]:
-->'''Bond:''' You okay?\\
'''Vesper''': ''(in disbelief)'' '''Me?'''
* When Bond is going over the last-minute details of his cover story, he finds that his name is "Arlington Beech" while Vesper's name is "Stephanie Broadchest". Vesper is incredulous; Bond, highly amused, refuses to let her see the file that supposedly contains this and the rest of their orders.
-->'''Bond:''' ''(reading his orders)'' Apparently we're very much in love.
-->'''Vesper:''' Do you always leave it to valets to tell you such things?
** When it turns out they'll share a hotel room Bond tries to reassure.
--->'''Vesper:''' Do I have to worry about you, Mr Bond?\\
'''Bond:''' No. Don't worry you're not my type.\\
'''Vesper:''' Smart?\\
'''Bond:''' Single.
* During the chase scene through the building site in Madagascar, the bomber jumps through an opening at the top of the wall - while Bond just runs through the wall entirely.

--> '''Waiter:''' Shaken or stirred?
-->'''Bond:''' [[INeedAFreakingDrink Do I look like I give a damn?]]
* When Bond is very nearly poisoned, Vesper saves him at the last moment. Both her and [=MI6=] suggest that he goes to a hospital, but Bond insists on completing the poker game. Vesper disbelievingly asks if he's seriously considering going back inside, and his sarcastic response sells it.
-->'''Bond''': I wouldn't dream of it.

-->'''Bond:''' What about the winnings?
-->'''Felix:''' Does it look like we need the money?

* During the recovery montage, Bond surprises Vesper that he was able to finally stand. They then started making out on a hospital bed, before rolling to the side and falling off.

** The scene features another moment when Bond hears Vesper’s name.
—->’’’Bond: ‘’’ Vesper...I hope you gave your parents hell for that.

--> '''Bond:''' ARGH--''NO!'' ''(grunts loudly)'' To the RIGHT--''TO THE RIGHT!''

--> '''Bond:''' ARGH--YES!!! Yes! Yes! ''(busts a gut laughing)'' Now the whole WORLD'S gonna know that ''you died scratching my balls''!!!

'''M:''' Utter '''one more syllable''' and I'll have you killed.

** And the best part is that Bond actually shuts up and looks chastised.

* Bond gives his drink order at the poker table - two measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, shaken well over ice until chilled, and served with a thin slice of lemon (which is pretty much how the original novel had it!). That wouldn't be funny if not for the fact that ''half the players at the table'' (the cool-looking ones who last to the final round, no less) immediately decide they'd like to have one as well to tide them over, much to Le Chiffre's annoyance.

* Bond, at The Ocean Club trying to trace a message, gets [[MistakenForServant mistaken for a valet]] by a rude German tourist. He then proceeds to crash the car in the parking lot to create a distraction for security. For good measure, he then throws the key into a set of nearby bushes.

-->'''Vesper:''' Do I have to worry about you, Mr Bond?
-->'''Bond:''' No. Don't worry you're not my type.
-->'''Vesper:''' Smart?
-->'''Bond:''' Single.

-->'''Bond:''' Do I look like I give a damn?