History Funny / Blood

* The cultists try to impress you with their OminousLatinChanting, but if you burn them alive, they will scream in panic, "It burns! IT BURNS! MY GOD NO! [[ChewingTheScenery AAAAAAAGHH!]]" in English.
** Similarily the protagonist himself. In fact that immediately after spewing some sarcastic black comedy snark he can go rapidfire: "Aaaagh! Aaaagh! Aaaagh! Aaaagh! Aaaagh!" due to some kind of environmental hazard is hilariously jarring.
* The fact that the zombies moan "[[Film/ReturnOfTheLivingDead Braaaiinnss...]]" as they approach you. One level has a door with a sign over it proclaiming "BRAIN STORAGE: NO ZOMBIES ALLOWED".
* Many things you can 'activate' with the Use key have Caleb saying amusing things.
** In [=E1M1=]: Cradle to the Grave, if you 'use' the sink in the Crematorium, Caleb will say, "Out out, damned spot!" from Macbeth.
** Finding [[VideoGame/DukeNukem3D a mutilated body wearing a red shirt, blue pants and a silver jetpack]] gives "I've got time to play with ''you''..." Actually using it makes it shake back and forth as Caleb goes "Ooh, shake it, baby."
** Looking in a mirror, seeing [[TheFaceless only your shadowed face]] and [[RedEyesTakeWarning glowing red eyes]] in [=E1M3=]: Phantom Express:
---> "Wha--?! Oh. Just me."
** Looking at sink with an "EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS" sign in [=E1M2=]: Wrong Side of the Tracks:
--> "I like my hands bloody."
** Walking into a walk-in freezer with human body parts hanging by chains from the ceiling in the same level:
---> "The leftovers."
** In front of the grill of the "Rat Dogs" stand in [=E1M4=]: Dark Carnival:
--->"[[ReducedToRatburgers Mmmmm! Ratburgers]]!"
** In front of an actual grilled rat in [=E1M3=]: Phantom Express:
---> "Eeeew. I'm not ''that'' hungry."
** When seeing the "Carnival" sign:
---> "WOOOW! This promises to be fun!"
* In [=E1M4=]: Dark Carnival, when you reach the actual carnival area, by the entrance you meet an ominous attendant dressed like the Grim Reaper who asks for your ticket. When you ignore him and just pass by, he shouts "Hey! Stop him! He didn't pay!", [[DisproportionateRetribution siccing a horde of zombies on you]]. Luckily they only do it once.
** One key is obtained by walking a tightrope that's suspended over a snake pit. Upon taking the first step, Caleb's sardonically-stoic demeanor [[NotSoStoic momentarily falters]]. When you reach the other side, he sings out a theatrical "Ta-daa!". Prior to that, if you sit on the benches, he demands in a childish way (all by keeping his serious voice) to see the acrobat: "I want Jo-Jo! I want Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo!"
** An invisibility bonus can be obtained by shooting bottles. Once Caleb destroys them all and gets the prize, he celebrates like a child, still speaking in his guttural voice.
* Final level of the main storyline, [=E4M8=]: Hall of Epiphany offers a real gem if you manage to pull the stunt off properly. When you're about to face Cerberus, lure it away, circle around to the final hall and use the pillar to summon Tchernobog. Once he's on the scene lure Cerberus back to him, [[SetAMookToKillAMook make them hit each other and turn onto themselves]]. There is a very high chance [[SugarWiki/CrowningMomentOfFunny Cerberus beats Tchernobog for you]].
* The second game brings us an interesting intercom conversation:
--> '''Intercom voice''': Who is it?\\
'''Caleb''': Everybody dies!\\
'''Intercom''': Reeeally? Cool! I'm buzzing you in!
* This exchange is always good for a giggle:
-->'''Caleb:''' The choice is yours: walk now and live, stay and die.\\
'''Cabal Goon:''' I'm ''staying''!\\
'''Caleb:''' ''(cheerfully)'' Then you're dying!
* One of the enemies added to the ''Post Mortem'' level set are miniature Calebs, who spout squeaky versions of Caleb's signature one-liners.
* The journal log is extremely snarky and [[LampshadeHanging quick to point out]] many videogame tropes that you come across.
* Because of ''Blood II'''s glitchy nature, killing low-level grunts in mid-threat doesn't stop them from shouting at you, even if gibbed:
--> ''"You're dead! Do you-'' '''[[LudicrousGibs *KA-SPLORP!*]]''' ''-hear me?! DEAD!!"''
* In the middle of Caleb's various grunts and yells when injured is a completely flat and disinterested [[DullSurprise "Ow."]]
* Caleb's reaction to standing face-to-face with an EldritchAbomination:
--> "Well hello, mister fancy-pants. Forgive me if I don't shake hands."
* The [[GreaterScopeVillain Ancient One]] attempts to play some mind-games on Caleb by possessing the original (now dead) bodies of the other three Chosen. [[WrongGenreSavvy It backfires]].
--> '''Caleb''': Aww, you're gonna hurt my feelings.
** He also tries to deliver a dramatic villain speech about undoing all reality, and retroactively eliminating the past, only to realize he has no idea what's supposed to happen to the future. Caleb patiently lets him finish hesitating, even egging him on with an impatient "Well?".
* Leaving Caleb idle for long enough, Caleb starts to sing snippets of several music works, including "[[Music/FrankSinatra I did it myy waaaaaaayy...]]", and parodies of a few others. Amusingly, he can do this ''after'' he's killed.
* Standing idle in ''Blood II'' while holding the Voodoo Doll weapon will cause it to sit up in Caleb's grasp and cheerfully wave at the player. [[CreepyCute It's equally adorable and creepy]].
* Cabal members aren't the only ones that throw insults Caleb's way - Choking Hands in ''Blood II'', upon spotting the protagonist, will take the time to flip upside down, land on their wrist, and [[FlippingTheBird give him the one-finger salute]] before they start chasing him.
* The "[=JoJo=]'s Big Adventure[[note]]not to be confused with similarily named anime[[/note]] level from ''The Nightmare Levels'' expansion is pure BlackComedy. Starring Ishmael who was coerced to take the role of said [=JoJo=] - The Idiot Circus Boy and how he slaughtered his way out of his imprisonment. On top of that Ishmael is by far the most clever of the Chosen and offers a gleefully sarcastic snarky comments on whatever depraved stuff he encounters in the freak show. He's even able to make fun of his own misery and it doesn't deter his charm a single bit.
-->*when entering the Merman's tank* ''"Ahh, the catch of the day, I presume."''
-->*in front of the Love Tunnel ride enterance* ''"There is most definitely '''no love''' in this tunnel."''
-->*at the sight of half-man-half-woman having been sliced apart* ''"Oh my, looks as if they had to split."''
-->*after finally getting out of the place* ''"Well, that wasn't so bad. I wonder if I'll ever miss the smell of my own dung mingled with hay."''
* Certain levels in [[GameMod Death Wish]] contain large breakable vases conveniently positioned on pedestals. When you shoot them open, a bunch of Choking Hands burst out. It becomes [[RunningGag quite funny after a while]].

** Looking in a mirror, seeing [[TheFaceless only your shadowed face]] and [[RedEyesTakeWarning glowing red eyes]] in [=E1L3=], "Phantom Express":

** In [=E1L1=], "Cradle to the Grave", if you 'use' the sink in the Crematorium, Caleb will say, "Out out, damned spot!" from Macbeth.

** Looking at sink with an "EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS" sign in [=E1L2=], "Wrong Side of the Tracks":

** Walking into a walk-in freezer with human body parts hanging by chains from the ceiling in "Wrong Side of the Tracks":

** In front of the grill of the "Rat Dogs" stand in [=E1L4=], "Dark Carnival":

** In front of an actual grilled rat in "Phantom Express":

* In [=E1L4=], "Dark Carnival", when you reach the actual carnival area, by the entrance you meet an ominous attendant dressed like the Grim Reaper who asks for the ticket. When you ignore him and just pass by, he shouts "Hey! Stop him! He didn't pay!", [[DisproportionateRetribution siccing a horde of zombies on you]]. Luckily they only do it once.
** One key is obtained by walking a tightrope that's suspended over a snake pit. Upon taking the first step, Caleb's sardonically-stoic demeanor [[NotSoStoic momentarily falters]]. When you reach the other side, he sings out a theatrical "Ta-daa!". Prior to that, if you sit on the benches, he protests in a childish way (all by keeping his serious voice) to see the acrobat: "I want Jo-Jo! I want Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo!"

* Because of ''Blood 2'''s glitchy nature, killing low-level grunts in mid-threat doesn't stop them from shouting at you, even if gibbed:

* Standing idle in ''Blood 2'' while holding the Voodoo Doll weapon will cause it to sit up in his grasp and cheerfully wave at the player. [[CreepyCute It's equally adorable and creepy]].
* Cabal members aren't the only ones that throw insults Caleb's way - Choking Hands in ''Blood 2'', upon spotting the protagonist, will take the time to flip upside down, land on their wrist, and [[FlippingTheBird give him the one-finger salute]] before they start chasing him.

* The cultists try to impress you with their OminousLatinChanting, but if you burn them alive, they wiil scream in panic: "It burns! IT BURNS! MY GOD NO!! [[ChewingTheScenery AAAAAAAGHH!!!]]" in English.

** An invisibility bonus can be obtained by shooting bottles. Once Caleb destroys them all and gets the price, he celebrates like a child, all by keeping his guttural voice.

* The cultists try to impress you with their OminousLatinChanting, but if you burn them alive, they wiil scream in panic: "It burns! IT BURNS! MY GOD NO!!!!! [[ChewingTheScenery AAAAAAAGHH!]]" in English.

* The cultists try to impress you with their OminousLatinChanting, but if you burn them, they wiil scream in panic: "It burns! IT BURNS! [[ChewingTheScenery AAAAAAAGHH!]]" in English.

** One key is obtained by walking a tightrope that's suspended over a snake pit. Upon taking the first step, Caleb's sardonically-stoic demeanor [[NotSoStoic momentarily falters]]. When you reach the other side, he sings out a theatrical "Ta-daa!".

** In [=E1L1=], "Cradle to the Grave", if you 'use' the sink in the Crematorium, Caleb will say, "Out out, damned spot!" from Macbeth

--> "Wha--?! Oh. Just me."

--> "The leftovers."

-->"[[ReducedToRatburgers Mmmmm! Ratburgers]]!"

--> "Eeeew. I'm not ''that'' hungry."

--> "WOOOW! This promises to be fun!"

** One key is obtained by walking a tightrope that's suspended over a snake pit. Upon taking the first step, Caleb's sardonically-stoic demeanor momentarily falters.

* Certain levels of [[GameMod Death Wish]] contain large breakable vases conveniently positioned on pedestals. When you shoot them open, a bunch of Choking Hands bursts out. It becomes [[RunningGag quite funny after a while]].

* Final level of the main storyline, [=E4M8=]: Hall of Epiphany offers a real gem if you manage to pull the stunt off properly. When you're about to face Cerberus, lure it away, circle around to the final hall and use the pillar to summon Tchernobog. Once he's on the scene lure Cerberus back to him, [[SetAMookToKillAMook make them hit each other and turn onto themselves]]. There is a very high chance [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Cerberus beats Tchernobog for you]].

--->'''Ishmael''' *after finally getting out of the place*: ''"Well, that wasn't so bad. I wonder if I'll ever miss the smell of my own dung mingled with hay."''

--->'''Ishmael''' *after finally getting out of the place*: ''"Well, that wasn't so bad? I wonder if I'll ever miss the smell of my own dung mingled with hay."''

** In one of the early levels, if you 'use' the sink, Caleb will say, "Out, damned spot!" from Macbeth

* Cabal members aren't the only ones that throw insults Caleb's way - Choking Hands in ''Blood 2'', upon spotting the protagonist, will take the time to flip upside down, land on their wrist, and [[FlippingTheBird give him the one-finger salute]] before they start chasing him.

** Looking in a mirror, seeing [[TheFaceless only your shadowed face]] and [[RedEyesTakeWarning glowing red eyes]]:
--> "Wha--? Oh. Just me."
** Looking at an "EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS" sign:

** Walking into a walk-in freezer with human body parts hanging by chains from the ceiling:

** In front of a deep fryer:

** In front of an actual grilled rat:
--> "I am not ''that'' hungry!"

* In the "Dark Carnival" level of the first game, when you reach the actual carnival area, by the entrance you meet an ominous attendant dressed like the Grim Reaper who asks for the ticket. When you ignore him and just pass by, he shouts "Hey! Stop him! He didn't pay!", [[DisproportionateRetribution siccing a horde of zombies on you]].