History Funny / AssassinsCreedRevelations

* From the gameplay demo (and the game proper), after finding out the Templars have raised the Great Chain, preventing Ezio from leaving Constantinople by boat. This is a chain intended to stop invading ''navies''. Ezio's reaction?:

-->'''Ezio:''' When I was your age my interests were... (distracted by a beautiful woman [[note]]Sofia[[/note]]) were mainly... Salve. (hello)
-->'''Suleiman I:''' Incredible. I am surprised you got anything done.
-->'''Ezio:''' As was my mother.

-->'''Sofia:''' Who are you, messere?
-->'''Ezio:''' Only the most interesting man in your life.
-->'''Sofia:''' Che presuntuoso. (Presumptuous- although the subtitles translate it as ‘go bury your head,’ which is even better.)
** Made even better by Ezio having a very [[Advertising/TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld Most Interesting Man in the Worldish]] beard.

--->'''Yusuf:''' Ah ah ah! Don’t touch that! One wrong move and BANG! The building comes down.
--->'''Ezio:''' Are you serious?
--->'''Yusuf:''' ''[Guffaws]'' The look on your face! Here, I’ll show you.

--->'''Yusuf:''' Ezio Auditore de... [[OverlyLongName la la la.]]
--->'''Ezio:''' Prego?
--->'''Yusuf:''' Forgive me. I'm not familiar with that Italian gibberish.

-->'''Suleiman:''' It is a relief to see you again, ''il mio bel menestrello'' ([[HoYay my handsome minstrel]]). Did I say that right?
-->'''Ezio:''' Well enough.
** The kick is (as Suleiman's uncle berates the guard captain) that some foreign minstrel saves Suleiman from assassination while royal guards can't.

-->'''Duccio:''' ''[he recognizes Ezio]'' Ah! ''Il diavolo in persona!'' (The devil himself!) Stay back!
-->'''Ezio:''' Duccio. A pleasure.

--->'''Sofia''': I feel many things, messere. Nausea above all.

--->'''Sofia''': ''[with a WTF expression]'' Who was that?
--->'''Ezio''': ''Un cane'' (A dog). He was engaged to my sister many years ago.
--->'''Sofia''': What happened?
--->'''Ezio''': [[ReallyGetsAround His]] ''[[ReallyGetsAround cazzo]]'' [[ReallyGetsAround (cock) was engaged to six others]].

-->'''Manuel:''' Citizens! Soldiers! Compose yourselves. Do not give in to fear! We are the true shepherds of Constantinopolis. We are the lords of this land. We are Byzantines. Kouráyo! (Have courage!) Stand fast! Do not let anyone break your--(''*sees Ezio approaching*'')--[[OhCrap Ah, skatá]]. (Shit.)"

** The reaction of the guy getting kicked is also funny. [[spoiler: Immediately after being disarmed, the assassin backs off and salutes, and also shifts from red to blue in Eagle Sense. One imagines that Altaïr is giving them a DisappointedInYou scowl while holding their weapon ,and the full-grown professional soldier responding like an unruly child who has just been chastened.]]

*** [[Advertising/TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld Ezio is the most interesting Assassin in Constantinople.]] [[MemeticMutation He doesn't always assassinate Templars, but when he does,]] [[SimpleYetAwesome he uses the Hookblade.]]
*** [[Advertising/TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld When in Rome,]] [[VideoGame/AssassinsCreedBrotherhood they do as he does.]]
* Gameplaywise, since Ezio does not gain notoriety when walking with Yusuf in Istanbul in the beginning,players can choose to steal everyone they can reach without consequence.

** Even better, it maintains Desmond's outfit perfectly and includes all the weapons... Except the [[GrapplingHookPistol Hookblade]]. Which becomes utterly hilarious when you see Desmond flying through the air without a connection to anything, stabbing through a {{Mook}} with his fingers, or throwing them with what looks like TheForce. Desmond is a [[Franchise/StarWars Jedi!]]

* From the herald: "To all visitors from Transylvania looking for the head of Voivode Dracula: Yes, we have it. Yes, he's dead. No, you cannot see it. No, he will not return and invade you again. It has been over ''thirty'' years, please stop pestering us."

** The reaction of the guy getting kicked is also funny. [[spoiler: Immediately after being disarmed, the assassin backs off and salutes, and also shifts from red to blue in Eagle Sense. One imagines that Altaïr is giving them a DisappointedInYou scowl while holding their weapon and the full grown professional soldier responding like an unruly child who has just been chastened.]]

-->''Set amid the backdrop of a centuries' old conflict between Byzantines and Arabs, the "Digenes Akritas"(author unknown) tells the epic tale of [[MarySue Basil, a hero born of mixed parentage - one Byzantine, the other Syrian- and his incredible feats of strength and bravery. A warrior through and through, Basil kills bears and lions with his hands, slays dragons with little more than a look, and carries off the daughters of military commanders on a whim]]. In other words, a well rounded chap.''