History Funny / AshesOfThePast

** Ash tries again to analyse Ho-Oh on the Pokedex. Again, the Pokédex doesn't identify it. Ash, having none of it, [[PercussiveMaintenance tries and restores it]]... And Dexter goes from simple computer-databank to ''fully sentient AI''.

---> '''James:''' FOR GOODNESS' SAKE YOU COMPLETE IDIOTS!! THROW ME THE DAMN FIRE STONE!!

** The conclusion in Chapter 62: he needs to borrow Oak's Dragonite, because there's a man in Geosenge who will give a fossil to someone who shows him a fully-evolved Dragon-type, from the fossil he'll get an Anorith, that can be traded for a Liepard, that for a Swoobat, that for a Clefairy, and that for a Gyarados, who can be shown to Marie in Camphrier who will give him a letter, the letter is given to Parfum and then to Jacques who will give him a Farfetch'd, that can be traded for a Beartic and then for a Furfrou (and a shiny one at that), the Furfrou will then get an haircut and be shown to gym leader Valerie to get a Focus Sash, that can be traded for a Silk Sash, that can be given to a girl in Lumiose for a Pok&eacutemon that can dance, that can be shown to the guy who will give Gary the Heart Scale he needs to give to the Move Relearner as payment for him having Alakazam re-learn Teleport.

* Ash discussing with Mewtwo that [[ForWantOfANail they've changed things so many times they have no idea what caused the Delta meteor to hit in this timeline in the first place.]]

* The frequent LampshadeHanging about the fact that Brock, a Rock-type Gym Leader, has ''only one'' Rock-type Pokemon on his team for most of the story.

** Misty is having a Bug-phobia attack again. Ash wonders if a Surskit (Bug/Water Pokemon) will cause Misty to short circuit.

*** Doubles as MythologyGag: in the actual anime, the Elite Four member Lorelei got a DubNameChange into Prima, and, when Team Rocket taunted her by asking if her lectures were on CD [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments she replied they were on tape only and cost 18.95 Pokemon Dollars]], causing general FaceFault. Team Rocket actually Face Faults ''out of their balloon while it's in the air''.

** Surge accidentally lets slip that he's a fan of (the Pokemon world equivalent of) ''Franchise/{{Naruto}}''.

** The ins and outs as to what can and cannot be entered in the Pokemon race at Laramie Ranch. Fliers are right-out, but any land-types with disparaging differences in speed are all A-OK.

* ''Looks around at the beautiful flower-strewn forest and grassland.* I can certainly see the devastation. So what was the name of this, possibly fictional, criminal?''\\

** Ash and Dexter taking the piss out of the Pokemon Exam and all its fallacies and inconsistencies. And Dexter denouncing the instructor's back-backtalk as being counter-intuitive to Dexter's very purpose.

* Once Ash and his Pokemon get to the island, they all go off to do their own thing at first. Charizard then decides to dick around in the hurricane. Ash predicts he'll get hit by lightning. And that's exactly what happens.

-->'''Mewtwo''': ...is your Pokemon well?\\

* Ash's reaction to Misty declaring "[[TemptingFate Well, all's well that ends well]]": diving for cover. It took him a while to accept there was no [[MythologyGag Legendary Pokemon showing up from nowhere, random airships crashing down, or anything else]].

** About the gym battle... It started with Lapras using Rain Dance... ''Indoors''. No effect on the field, but it was making rain on the ''vacation resort'' outside. Then we have Ash's strategy for the match (a double battle in which he used Lapras and ''Snorlax''), whose result was "a half-ton Pokemon [[BouncingBattler bouncing around on an icy surface like a crazed hockey puck]], periodically shooting intense Hyper Beams". It's funny... [[BewareTheSillyOnes And devastating]].

** First round, Totodile vs Clefairy. Clefairy, as a Pokemon of ThatOneBoss of the games, is giving Totodile a bad beating but it could still go either way, then uses Metronome... And ''heals both Pokemon with Heal Bell'' (cue Whitney's FacePalm). Another Metronome. The move that results from it? ''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Explosion]]''.

** Third round, Totodile vs [[{{ThatOneBoss/Pokemon}} the goddamn' Miltank from hell]]. Who ''wrecks a few walls of the gym'' '''without''' help from Ash's Pokemon before [[OneHitKO hitting him once and winning]].

** The conclusion in Chapter 62: he needs to borrow Oak's Dragonite, because there's a man in Geosenge who will give a fossil to someone who shows him a fully-evolved Dragon-type, from the fossil he'll get an Anorith, that can be traded for a Liepard, that for a Swoobat, that for a Clefairy, and that for a Gyarados, who can be shown to Marie in Camphrier who will give him a letter, the letter is given to Parfum and then to Jacques who will give him a Farfetch'd, that can be traded for a Beartic and then for a Furfrou (and a shiny one at that), the Furfrou will then get an haircut and be shown to gym leader Valerie to get a Focus Sash, that can be traded for a Silk Sash, that can be given to a girl in Luminose for a Pokemon that can dance, that can be shown to the guy who will give Gary the Heart Scale he needs to give to the Move Relearner as payment for him having Alakazam re-learn Teleport.

** Pikachu's tale of his latest run-in with the [[HereWeGoAgain Pichu Brothers]], with the reveal that the humans ''never'' noticed them and Keldeo (a [[OlympusMons Legendary Pokemon]] who used to hang out three other Legendaries who get in all sort of hijinks to try and help people) [[HypocriticalHumor asking if it's always like that around Ash]] (then again, Ash and co. are probably ''worse'');

-->'''Morty:''' Mr. Ketchum... Why are there several Legendary Pokemon taking seats in the bleachers?

** That there were not one, not two, but ''eight'' legendary Pokemon watching Ash's otherwise rather unextrordinary gym match that day: The Legendary Beasts (3), the Legendary Beast Copies (3), Keldeo, and ''Ho-Oh'' is revealed to be watching the match from the sky.

** Ash couldn't face him because all of the Pokemon he ''would'' use for fighting Raikou... aren't with him at the moment.

* Suicune demonstrating Roar to Ash's Pokemon.

* Remember the Nurse Joy of Lake Lucid, the one specialized in Water-type Pokemon who was afraid of them? Ash convinced her to check on two of his Water-types... [[{{Troll}} And then had her check]] [[OlympusMons Suicune and Keldeo]].

** When Ash is explained the rules and tiers of the Tower ([[MythologyGag based on those for competitive battling in the metagame provided by]] Website/{{Smogon}}), he has a few surprises: [[ObviousRulePatch the Moody ability getting banned after Whitney showed up with "that obnoxious Bidoof of hers"]]; the Uber Tier having all but two Pokemon being Legendaries [[CrazyPrepared in case some smart-ass decided to show up with a team including Lugia, Ho-Oh and Mewtwo]] (Misty had to suppress laughter at this, as Ash ''could do just that''); Articuno finding himself in the Never Used tier (the receptionist has no idea why).
** Ash decides to take part to the Little Cup, so only Pokemon in their first stage. His choice: Houndour, Totodile, and ''[[LargeHam his]] [[PersonOfMassDestruction Squirtle]]''. [[HilarityEnsues Poor Omanyte]]...

** During the battle between Misty and Entei, the RunningGag of Misty's Pokemon blocking Entei's Sunny Day. Especially because the first time it was just ''Psyduck telling him "Nope"'' (he can actually do it, with the ability Cloud Nine), and not the Rain Dance move. As for Rain Dance...
--->"[[LampshadeHanging Do]] ''[[LampshadeHanging all]]'' [[LampshadeHanging of your Pokemon know Rain Dance]]"?

*** Also, the fact that Raikou (a legendary Pokemon), due to not having any badges, is supposed to fight Falkner's weakest Pokemon.

** Pikachu trying to fool Jasmine's Magnezone into using Electric-type attacks (against which he's immune), pointing out his Steel-type attack aren't very useful against an Electric Pokemon. Magnezone's answer? Pointing out the ruse and stating that "Type resistances are irrelevant against Sonicboom".

** The discussion about what Pokemon to use in the race, with people wondering how the hell Bayleef outran an ''Arcanine'' the last time and Donphan [[LampshadeHanging pointing out that Ash can't avoid a Legendary]], [[SeenItAll so seeing three in his team is not that surprising]].
** This Extreme Pokemon race is rather extreme, due the participants including: Brock with his Crobat; Casey with her Pidgeotto; Ash with Donphan, who pulls him by via of ''Rollout''; Lucario with ''Keldeo''; ''Pikachu with Squirtle'' (this caused Brock an OhCrap when he found out. Too bad it was too late to change his mind); and ''Entei '''pulling Meganium and Suicune who are riding a railway push cart''''' (he wanted to give his opponents an handicap). Oh, and Misty was refused entry because her Gyarados was deemed unsafe...

** This gem, starting with Tyson noticing what the Pokemon evolving machine does to non-evolved Pokemon who don't want to evolve:

** Norman saying about some of the stupid errors he did back when he was a rookie. Like trying to catch a Ninjask (a decent Pokemon who is also the ''second fastest Pokemon'', only beaten by Deoxys' Speed Forme and Regieleki) with a Slakoth (a very basic and incredibly slow Pokemon that sleeps half the turns).

** While cleaning Max' room, May found an enclosed paper with a note [[SchmuckBait telling her not to read it]], so ''she read it'', found out Max was considering Electrike as his starter, found one, and sprung a Pokemon battle on her brother to allow him to catch it with Blaziken's help, so fast she ''didn't tell Blaziken what she had in mind''.

** According to Caroline, Ash is luckier for having a Shiny Pokemon than for his multiple Legendaries.

** Warning: Ash's opponent Steve has Pokemon based on the Ookagari from ''Fanfic/YetAgainWithALittleExtraHelp'', and are, if possible, ''crazier than Ash and his Pokemon''. RuleOfCool and HilarityEnsues here.

* Flannery and Ash are about to have a match to show how awesome the two of them are. Ash claims that he'll use "[[ExactWords The First Pokemon He Ever Caught.]]" Cue Ho-Oh, being used in battle for the second time in the entire story, over ''two years'' in-universe time since Ho-Oh allowed himself to be captured.

** They later pass the captured Pokemon to Giovanni. Who, after recovering from the shock, wonders if they somehow caught a Shaymin.

** After traveling with Ash for so long, Max has to take a moment to remember that Winona probably doesn't have a legendary Pokemon.

** Iris thinks Ash never has any problems with his Pokemon.

** Dawn expresses similar confusion that a Pikachu can do what Cosplaychu is doing. Her mother tries to explain that Pokemon can do all sorts of amazing things but is forced to concede when Dawn explains [[ExactWords that she's confused about a]] ''[[ExactWords Pikachu]]'' [[ExactWords doing those things, not Pokemon in general]].

* Brock and May have a conversation about if there are any Pokemon that wouldn't be good in a League tournament. Brock puts forth the Unown, since they're useless on their own.

* Ash watches Casey using baseball terms to guide her Pokemon to victory and has a EurekaMoment as only he can: To beat Casey, Charizard has to learn baseball. Pikachu states that it only makes a weird kind of sense which Brock remarks means that, knowing Ash, that means it will be ''more'' likely to work.

And no, that wouldn't make it better. If anything it would be slightly worse – the energy from the meteorite then doesn't go into digging a big crater. It all goes into heat – heat going directly into the upper atmosphere, so the whole of the Northern Hemisphere would have the entire sky shine like the sun. Plants would catch fire, people and Pokemon would die. So no, this is not a problem you can fix simply by sending up a half-dozen guys and a really big bomb!

** The discussion of why Arcanine is called "The Legendary Pokemon" when it's not ''a'' Legendary Pokemon.

* May trying to emphasize on the difference between a fitness center type gym and a Pokemon Gym.

[[folder:Mastermind of Mirage Pokemon (213-215)]]

* Lucario's first Mirage Pokemon fight leaves him... [[OneHitKO unimpressed]]. He's not very phased by the Mirage Machoke using Flamethrower either, considering how ''he'' learned it.
* Mawile asks Yung to make a cuddly Pokemon. He does, and the result is a CutenessProximity reaction from Mawile.[[note]]In case you're wondering, Yung created a Stufful.[[/note]]

* Dawn sending Serena a bunch of pics of her Pokemon being total doofs, like Pachurisu with a bunch of marshmallows in her mouth and Piplup somehow having embedded himself into the ground upside down.

** When she first hatches, the initial reaction of the watching May and some of her Pokemon is that the egg just vanished.

--> '''Barry:''' You're one of Ash's Pokemon, right? Both of you? That's so cool! I heard online that Ash Ketchum is supposed to be the person with the most Legendaries in the world. Is that accurate? I looked on encyclopedia sites but they said you were Citation Needed and I wasn't sure what that meant for the whole idea of Ash having so many Legendary Pokemon.

* It turns out that Celebi and Mesprit have been working together to send Dawn her old timeline Pokemon.

--> '''Suicune:''' Pokemon languages can be very concise.

* Barry found Celebi in the bushes, and thus gains the conclusion that rhododendrons attract time Pokemon.

* Ash's battle with Brandon ends up attracting plenty of attention. Specifically, Flint calls an Officer Jenny in order to reassure him that yes, it ''is'' just a Pokemon battle going on.

* Paul and Roark missing the entire Fossil Pokemon incident because their battle was too loud.

** Misty commenting that trainers who haven't trained their Pokemon to think for themselves don't do well at underwater battles, referencing a Ground Specialist she tested for a Gym who failed miserably because of that fact.

* Usually, when a Pokemon evolves, it's either from exposure to Ash's "evolution aura", or from the desire to accomplish something important such as winning a battle or protecting their trainer. Gible evolves into Gabite - without even ''noticing'' at first - in order to be able to reach a soda on a high shelf.

* The three Porygon discussing their hobbies: Dexter calculates π, Kris calculates φ, and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Ethan writes]].

'''Sir Aaron:''' Err… nooo?\\

** Winona's exasperation at all of Ash's team [[LampshadeHanging flying when they're not supposed to.]]

* Barry's introduction in Chapter 183, running right at Dawn (who dodges, [[CrashIntoHello seemingly out of habit]]) as soon as she returns to Sinnoh, [[MotorMouth asking more questions than she can keep up with]] (not helped by her happening to mention Ash's name), and [[AttentionDeficitOhShiny then running off without explanation]]. He later shows up to watch the Opening Ceremony on Dawn's TV, through their window, and ask Dawn more questions. Even he doesn't seem to know why he's not just watching his own TV at home.

** [[ShamuFu Misty's slapping Brock with her Goldeen.]]

* In the rewrite, Ash, justifies his perfume insult by saying he was using Brock as his main example. Misty admits he can't blame him for that.

--> '''Narration:''' Ash, it should be noted, is not good at setting people at ease.

--->'''Pikachu:''' "I think they're having a [[IncrediblyLamePun Battle of Brit-ing.]]"

* Golduck was apparently paying Misty's bills while she was away - [[IncrediblyLamePun because as a duck, he does that kind of thing.]]

'''Laramine:''' I've got to say, you gave her a good run. That was, well..."\\

'''Rapidash:''' Rapid, [[{{pun}} Ash]].

--> '''Ash:''' I want to go back to the day I met Pikachu - the day my journey began, when I first set off from Pallet.
--> '''Sir Aaron:''' Ha! Told you, you great lump.
--> '''Arceus:''' I thought 'any day but then' was good odds.
--> '''Ash:''' Wait... Were you two betting on me or something?
--> '''Sir Aaron:''' Err… nooo?
--> '''Ash:''' Somehow I don't believe you.
--> '''Arceus:''' Now, Dialga!
--> '''Narration:''' In that second of absolute stillness, Ash thought to himself - using the, or ''a'', legendary Pokémon capable of controlling time simply to avoid answering some awkward questions... really took some beating. Then there was a roar, and he fell into blackness.

--> '''Aaron:''' It's really strange seeing the controller of time jump around like an excited puppy…
--> '''Arceus:''' He's ten minutes old, what do you expect?

--> '''Misty (pre-restore):''' You better pay for this!
--> '''Ash:''' Story of my life…

--> '''Dexter:''' Normally this would never happen, but then most computers aren't involved in half the stuff that fills the average week for you crazy people.

---> '''Lucario:''' I can just see it now. Aura's Glow, starring Ash Ketchum! With Brock as the [[PluckyComicRelief comic relief]], that girl you travel with as the LoveInterest, of course, and-
---> '''Ash:''' Wait, what?!
---> '''Lucario:''' -who could have foreseen just how close the two of you would become thanks to the chance destruction of her bike!
---> '''Ash:''' Please be more specific. You just described most of the girls I know.
---> '''Lucario:''' That would be telling. The hero never actually works out he has feelings before-
---> '''Ash:''' Until what? Puberty? That would at least be a help!
---> '''Pikachu:''' No, it wouldn't. It never is.

---> '''Narration:''' In the trees near Cerulean city, a sinister presence was watching the actions of Ash and his friends...
---> '''Meowth:''' Ah, shaddup! I'm only using the binoculars!
---> '''Narration:''' Yes, it was Meowth, who admittedly couldn't be sinister if his life depended on it.

** The ShoutOut to ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'':

** Ash on [[DisguisedInDrag crossdressing]]:

** Ash restores [[JerkAss Gary]]'s memories with an aura-fueled DopeSlap.

''(to the finals)''\\

*** And when one of them tries to get back up, another [[WhipItGood Power Whip]] [[TapOnTheHead to the noggin]] puts him right back down.

--> '''Narration:''' [[ViolenceDiscretionShot We draw a veil over the scenes of indescribable carnage.]]

** "Pewter City was an interesting place. Originally a mining town, it had developed into a center of culture with its museum, its position on one of Kanto's main routes, and its League Gym. [[LemonyNarrator Guess which one Ash was interested in.]]"
** Pikachu remarking, "Brock isn't an idiot unless women are involved."