History Funny / Animorphs

* #4, ''The Message'': Marco has dreamed of falling and landing in ''Series/MisterRogersNeighborhood''. Talking to King Friday.

** The "Marco DrivesLikeCrazy" RunningGag started in the ''first book.'' Jake and Marco got separated from the girls while at the Gardens acquiring their battle morphs (because security had found them and they split up). The boys found a golf cart and decided to use it to get away from the guards. Cue Marco being unable to drive without slamming into the walls -- and ''knocking Jake out of the golf cart.''
--->'''Jake:''' Right!\\
Naturally, Marco turned left. Jake nearly fell out.\\
...This time Marco did choose right. And Jake ''did'' fall out of the cart.\\
'''Marco:''' What are you doing? Quit playing around.\\
'''Jake:''' (DeathGlare)

'''Ax''': <Now we have two of your hours and six of your minutes.>

** Ax is surprised to learn that the bomb was powered by nuclear fusion, since Andalites use nuclear fusion to power children's toys.

** Visser One decides to invade Hollywood, which she concludes is ''obviously'' the most important city in the U.S., because of how often it's mentioned in broadcast media.

* Jake defeating the Crayak's plan by passing on memories of his first kiss? Both awesome and heartwarming. The fact that the Ellimist reveals that the next time the Yoort are sent to invade a planet, they'll try kissing them? Hilarious.

** Tobias, meanwhile, has ''[[FantasticRecism opinions]]'' about seagulls.

'''Colonel:''' SERGEANT! GET those HORSES out of my facility! NOW!\\

** That also comes on the heels of this brilliant exchange:
--> '''Colonel:''' SERGEANT! GET those HORSES out of my facility! NOW!
--> '''Sergeant:''' Yes sir! Horses! About face!
--> It must have surprised the poor sergeant when, amazingly, we all complied. Animorphs and Yeerks, we turned and walked away.

** Tobias, meanwhile, has ''opinions'' about seagulls.

'''Marco:''' Jake? Do me a favor. Don't ever say 'so far, so good.' The only time anyone ever says 'so far, so good' is right before everything blows up in his face.\\

--->'''Jake''': We're on schedule. So far, so good.\\
'''Marco''': Jake, can you do me a favor? Can you not say that? Any time one of us says "so far, so good", something goes wrong.\\
'''Ax''': Suh. So far so good. So far so good-duh. So fuh-far so guh-good. Good-duh.\\
'''Marco''': Oh, man.

** This is not a well-regarded book. There are a number of [[AuthorTract excellent]] [[ShaggyDogStory reasons]] [[IdiotPlot for]] [[BrokenAesop that]]. But the scene where the kids, disguised as chimpanzees, plaster Visser Three and his evil scientists with poop, while also tricking the other chimps into doing the same is solid comic gold.

* #22, ''The Solution'': a mostly serious story, in which the side plot is that the Animorphs stop a summit meeting being targeted by the Yeerks -- which they accomplish by morphing elephants and rhinos and ''destroying the hotel complex''. Then run into a drunk UsefulNotes/BorisYeltsin.

** In the same scene, they're asked what their names are. Marco says he is [[Series/TheXFiles Fox Mulder]]. Rachel says her name is Dana Scully. Cassie says her name is Cindy Crawford.
** In the same book, Cassie returns home late after a mission and gets grilled by her parents. When she mentions that Jake was one of the friends she was out with, the two get knowing looks and, to Cassie's supreme mortification, start talking about how she's not yet ready for dating and that maybe they need to [[TheTalk talk about the birds and the bees]]. After fleeing the confrontation, Cassie doubles back to listen in on her parents, and at first gets a warm inner glow as they talk about what a good kid she is... which quickly fades as they start snickering to each other about how, ''because'' she's such a good kid and already does so many chores for the clinic, one of the few disciplinary tactics they have is to embarrass her. And then start brainstorming ideas for the next time, like saying they're inviting Jake's parents over to discuss their relationship.

-->'''Rache''': Talk? Puh-leez. He wants to give you a big, fat, sloppy kiss. You should've seen him. He was a total zombie the whole time you were gone.\\

* #49, ''The Diversion'',

** Marco's driving experience comes from playing ''{{VideoGame/Wipeout}}'' against Jake. Then comes a tunnel, just like in Wipeout...

** "You do not know me," he said, "but I am a juvenile delinquent. I do not trust authority figures, I probably will not graduate from high school, and statistics say my present rowdiness and vandalism will likely lead to more serious crimes. I am a dangerous fellow, and I am causing mayhem in this store." He reached behind her and pulled three jars of baby food from the top shelf. Shoved them behind a box of macaroni. Shuffled the Cheez Whiz in front of the Marshmallow Fluff. Tossed a bag of lady's shavers onto a bag of hamburger buns. "There. [[PokeThePoodle I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid store employees.]] If you could see me, you would be frightened."
** I have already made sure, Prince Jake. They think I am a "[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} pokey man]]." I have told them I am an Andalite and [[StealthPun am actually quite swift]] [[note]]"pokey" meaning slow[[/note]], but they insist they [[GottaCatchEmAll need to train me]].

* In ''In the Time of Dinosaurs'', Marco learns that broccoli was actually brought to Earth by aliens.

** The group find out that Jeremy Jason [=McCole=], a teen heartthrob actor intends to endorse The Sharing. At first, the boys' reaction is, "It's not as if he's UsefulNotes/MichaelJordan or Wayne Gretzky," until...
--->'''Rachel:''' If he endorses The Sharing, it would be as if...\\
'''Cassie:''' As if the entire female cast of ''Series/{{Baywatch}}'' endorsed something.\\
'''Rachel:''' Yeah. Like that.\\
'''Jake:''' ''(losing his amused smile)'' This actor kid has that kind of influence?\\

* #52, ''The Absolute'': The whole scene where Ax, Marco and Tobias attempt to acquire duck DNA. [[EpicFail The ducks win.]]

* #7, ''The Stranger'' Early on, while the kids are raiding a Yeerk-controlled building Matrix-style, they get in an elevator in their combat morphs. [[UncomfortableElevatorMoment And thus, a tiger, gorilla, and grizzly bear make awkward elevator small talk.]]

--> '''Jake''': And it's possible some spaceship will zoom along and hit it and splatter it all over?\\

-->'''Rachel:''' If he endorses The Sharing, it would be as if...\\

-->'''Visser Three''': <What have I heard the human children say? Ah yes, eeny, meeny, miney, moo.>\\

-->'''Cassie:''' ''[narrating]'' And that's when I dumped a bucket of water on Marco's head and we all went home.

-->'''Marco''': Caution: Falling objects.

** Jake tells Marco to open a door.
--->Marco raised his huge gorilla arms back over his head, preparing to swing them down with shattering force.\\
<Marco? Try the knob first.>\\
<Oh.>
::The door turns out to be unlocked.

-->Let me make one final point here: human mouth-sound language is very fuzzy at times. "Have one," she'd said.\\
One mouthful? One bun?\\
One tray?\\

--> Greetings, Earthling! ''{{Klaatu barada nikto}}!'' I come in peace!

-->'''Marco:''' ''(laying on his back, hands behind his head)'' I grovel before the mighty Helmacron captain, most mighty of the mighty, undisputed champion of the world in the dust-weight category! We grovel like the pitiful losers we are! We grovel like a guy who hasn't got a date the day before the prom and the only girl around is the head cheerleader, that's how much we grovel. Cassie, you could join in any time, you know.\\

--> '''Erek''': No offense, but how on Earth have you people managed to avoid getting caught for this long?

-->'''Tobias''': I am so totally not interested in being Captain Nemo.\\

-->'''Tobias:''' Ah. That explains the power outage in Jake's neighborhood.
** Also, Ax is really, really, ''really'' fascinated by "These Messages" (what we call [[{{AliensNeverInventedTheWheel}} commercial breaks]]). Tobias is actually quite disturbed by this revelation.

* #38: ''The Arrival'' has another Andalite overwhelmed by the taste of jelly beans. Tobias and Ax have to drag her out of there, only to be confronted by the brother of the girl she morphed. They run for it.

--> '''Rachel''': Get it together, Mom, I am the bear!

-->"Excuse me?" Her voice had thundered through the valley. "Do I look like a teacher?" They voted again, and decided that, yes, she did indeed look like a teacher. Now she was teaching them the ABC song. "No," she was telling them. "No, no, no. Elemenopee is not one letter. L. M. N. O. P. Get it?"

-->'''Jake:''' Well, if it isn't Lobster Boy.\\

* In ''The Andalite's Gift'',

* ''Elfangor's Secret'', Cassie, who is having a very bad day, morphs polar bear, pins a racist to a wall, sticks his face in her jaws, and roars. What makes this awesome moment funny is that Tobias is standing next to her in human morph as she does this, offering commentary. First, he crosses his arms and calmly advises the other onlookers to get out of the way. Then he shrugs when the guy being pinned to a wall begs him to not let Cassie kill him. Finally, he advises him to apologize.

-->'''Visser Three''': <What have I heard the human children say? Ah yes, eeny-meeny-miney-moo.>\\
'''Rachel's narration''': It's MOE, you jerk. Moe, not ''moo''.

--->"It was l-o-o-o-v-e," Marco crowed, drawing the word out. "The deadly, dangerous emotion of puppy love. Rachel was overcome by attraction! By desire! By intense, uncontrollable Tiger Beat passion! And it--"\\

"It's crocodile," Jake said, smirking in a most un-Jake-like way.

'''Rachel''': <It's MOE, you jerk. Moe, not ''moo''.>

** When Ax informs the kids that the secret alien technology hidden at [[FictionalCounterpart Zone 91]] is an Andalite portable toilet. A ''primitive'' Andalite toilet. They've made significant advancements since it crashed.

** In the same book, Cassie returns home late after a mission and gets grilled by her parents. When she mentions that Jake was one of the friends she was out with, the two get knowing looks and, to Cassie's supreme embarrassment, start talking about how she's not yet ready for dating and that maybe they need to [[TheTalk talk about the birds and the bees]]. After fleeing the confrontation, Cassie doubles back to listen in on her parents, and at first gets a warm inner glow as they talk about what a good kid she is... which quickly fades as they start snickering to each other about how, ''because'' she's such a good kid and already does so many chores for the clinic, one of the few disciplinary tactics they have is to embarrass her. And then start brainstorming ideas for the next time, like saying they're inviting Jake's parents over to discuss their relationship.
** In ''The Unknown'', Cassie morphs a racehorse, and Marco suggests that they could bet on her and win money. At the end of the book, [[BrickJoke he brings up the idea again]]:

--> "Is that a bear?"\\

-->Marco raised his huge gorilla arms back over his head, preparing to swing them down with shattering force.\\

* [[MoodWhiplash Exactly three seconds after Jake and Cassie's first kiss]]:
-->'''Marco''': ''(holds out arms to Jake)'' What, no kiss for me?
** So he turns to Rachel.

'''Cassie''': Oh. Who. CARES? Squid. We can morph a giant squid! Giant squid dive really deep. ANd they have arms, so we could maybe get into the Pemalite ship.\\

** Furthermore, she unhesitatingly attacked the bear with a ''spice rack'', proving that Rachel's fearlessness was hereditary.

** When Cassie is describing Jake and Marco's long history of [[CavemenVsAstronautDebate stupid, pointless arguments]], she ends on, "whether cheese tastes yellow. I'm ''not'' kidding. They once spent an entire Saturday arguing whether something could taste like a color. I seem to remember that Marco thought cheese actually tasted green."

** When Cassie is describing Jake and Marco's long history of CavemanVsAstronautDebate, she ends on, "whether cheese tastes yellow. I'm ''not'' kidding. They once spent an entire Saturday arguing whether something could taste like a color. I seem to remember that Marco thought cheese actually tasted green."

** The revelation that Jake and Marco once spent several hours arguing over whether cheese tastes yellow or green.

** When Ax is caught in the barn by Cassie's dad, he first claims to be from the Republic of the Ivory Coast, leading Cassie to regret ever giving him the World Almanac. When her father doesn't buy it, Ax suggest other countries before he tells him to just go with Canada: "I am from Canada. I am Canadese."