History Funny / AbbottAndCostello

** Earlier in the film, Bud explains to Lou that not all [[IThoughtItMeant mummies]] are female. A stunned Lou asks Bud: "Wasn't your mummy a woman?"

-->'''Conductor:''' (marking off the list) "Shortstop..."(realizes) "Shortstop! Hey, you, 'shortstop'!"

* In ''The Naughty Nineties'', Bud falls overboard and yells for Lou to throw him a lifesaver. [[LiteralMinded Lou]] responds by tossing him a candy LifeSaver and saying "Here y'are, catch it!"

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM7Wj7FVIoY "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean".]] definitely competes with "Who's on First" as the funniest skit in "The Naughty Nineties", if not their entire career.

-->'''Conductor:''' (marking off the list) "Shortstop..."(realizes) "Shortstop! Hey, you, 'shortstop'!"

* In ''Abbott and Costello meet [[JekyllAndHyde Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde]]'' Lou [[TheChewToy gets repeatedly mauled]]. At one point while trying to break up a brawl at an early Woman's Rights meeting he gets hit on the head by [[BrawnHilda one furious woman]] so hard he is hammered into the ground like a nail. And then later on Lou has a needle full of [[SuperSerum Hyde-juice]] get [[AssShove repeatedly driven into his backside]]... leading to [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Lou becoming a second Hyde]]. He then terrorizes London before being dragged back to the police station, where he bites all the cops and turns THEM into Hydes!

* In ''The Time Of Their Lives'', Lou plays the ghost of an American Revolutionary War thinker falsely accused of treason and [[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves shot dead and tossed down a well for it]]. He eventually meets up with Bud Abbott's character, a New York therapist who [[FlatEarthAtheist doesn't believe in ghosts]] and who is descended from (to say nothing of an exact twin for) a butler who tried to steal Lou's girlfriend when he was alive. Lou [[MisplacedRetribution gleefully terrorizes the poor fellow]] until the housekeeper walks in. The startled ghost flees after exclaiming:

** Surprisingly, one of the best lines in that one ''doesn't'' come from Bud or Lou. When the cast is arriving at the restored mansion, one of them greets the housekeeper thusly:

** At the climax, Bud and Lou crash through the floor of a nearby mine and think they've found ancestor Squeezebox McCoy's lost gold. It's a gold treasure, alright, as they discover when a small army of Federal agents rushes into the room -- [[FromBadToWorse Fort Knox]].

* In ''The Time Of Their Lives'', Lou plays the ghost of an American Revolutionary War tinker falsely accused of treason and [[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves shot dead and tossed down a well for it]]. He eventually meets up with Bud Abbott's character, a New York therapist who [[FlatEarthAtheist doesn't believe in ghosts]] and who is descended from (to say nothing of an exact twin for) a butler who tried to steal Lou's girlfriend when he was alive. Lou [[MisplacedRetribution gleefully terrorizes the poor fellow]] until the housekeeper walks in. The startled ghost flees after exclaiming:

** Lou also ends up inside a wax museum where he gets terrified by dummies of [[{{Dracula}} Count Dracula]] and {{FrankensteinsMonster}}; is almost given heart failure by a walking (wax) head (after accidentally tossing it on top of a cat); and to cap it all off, he gets clobbered by an angry bobby after assuming he's a wax dummy too.

* In ''Hit the Ice,'' Bud and Lou are trying to sneak onto a train without tickets. Abbott notices a band getting onboard and sneaks into line behind the two bass fiddles:

** At the climax, Bud and Lou crash through the floor of a nearby mine and think they've found ancestor Squeezebox McCoy's lost gold. It's a gold treasure, alright, as they discover when a small army of Federal agents rushes into the room -- [[FromBadToWorse Fort Knox]].

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM7Wj7FVIoY "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean".]] definately competes with "Who's on First" as the funniest skit in "The Naughty Nineties", if not their entire career.

** Lou ends it by making a doll of the witch and they stick each other for a while. Finally they call truce. Lou tells Bud to "Pay her." Bud repsonds with:

Lou ends it by making a doll of the witch and they stick each other for a while. Finally they call truce. Lou tells Bud to "Pay her." Bud repsonds with, "I'll pay her when I'm ready!" *Sees her making a doll of HIM.* "I'm ready!"

* In ''Comin' Round the Mountain'', Devil Dan Winfield threatens to kill Wilbert (Costello), while Wilbert's friend sneaks up behind Winfield with a chair. Wilbert warns Winfield that he'll "get the chair", which Winfield dismisses because every local judge was family. [[ChairmanOfTheBrawl Then Wilbert's friend hits Winfield with the chair.]]

* In ''The Time Of Their Lives'', Lou plays the ghost of an American Revolutionary War tinker falsely accused of treason and [[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves shot dead and tossed down a well for it]]. He eventually meets up with Bud Abbott's character, a New York therapist who [[FlatEarthAtheist doesn't believe in ghosts]] and who is descended from (to say nothing of an exact twin for) a butler who tried to steal Lou's girlfriend when he was alive. Lou [[LaserGuidedKarma gleefully terrorizes the poor fellow]] until the housekeeper walks in. The startled ghost flees after exclaiming:

* From ''Abbott and Costello meet the Killer, Boris Karloff'', asked of a [[MindControl hypnotized]] Bud by Boris: HowWouldYouLikeToDie? Lou's response? "Old age." The hypnotist, a murderous and phony Swami played by Karloff, ultimately gets so frustrated with Lou's bungling that he [[KnifeNut grabs a knife]] from a drawer and snarls at Lou, [[CaptainObvious ''"You'll commit suicide if it's the last thing you ever do!"'']]

-->Lou:''"I just opened the door, and my mind became a blank."''
--> Bud: ''"Your mind's been a blank all your life!"''

-->''Bud: "I never had a mummy."''
-->''Lou: "What did your father do, win ya in a crap game?"''

-->''Lou (holding up his fist): "You wanna know what I'm gonna do now?"''
-->''Captain Kidd (showing that his hands are free): "WHAT?"''
-->''Lou: "I'm gonna run for my life!"''

* The bank scene in ''Buck Privates Come Home''. Bud and Lou talk to a bank manager about a loan to fund their friend's midget racer, and bring the blueprints and a working model to show their preparedness. Lou starts up the model for the manager, but he starts it backwards and it backfires, making it look like [[MistakenForTerrorist he's robbing the bank with a machine gun]] through the office's frosted glass window.

* From ''Abbott and Costello meet the Killer, Boris Karloff'', asked of a [[MindControl hypnotized]] Bud by Boris: HowWouldYouLikeToDie? Lou's response? "Old age." The hypnotist, a murderous and phony Swami played by Karloff, ultimately gets so frustrated with Lou's bungling that he [[KnifeNut grabs a knife]] from a drawer and snarls at Lou, ''"You'll commit suicide if it's the last thing you ever do!"''