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* Pepper's reaction to hearing Jon is now Hand of the King is to just laugh hysterically.
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* When he sees Gwen's handling of the books she took from the library, Petyr is aghast, and Miles jokes that Petyr wouldn't carry his own baby that carefully.
-->'''Petyr:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase Babies can heal, books can't!]]
** May doesn't like the answer, and points out that, considering how much sex he and Gwen are having, he should be concerned with that. Gwen replies that they are careful with that.
--->'''Miles:''' He sticks it up your butt?\\
''(Gwen {{dope slap}}s him)''
* Petyr notes that what Doc Ock did to get tentacles could only be magic.
-->'''Miles:''' You don't know. Maybe some Iron Born... I don't know... ''([[BestialityIsDepraved makes the sex hand sign]])''
** May points out that there's always a man that sees a hole and wonders if he could stick it in there. As Gwen agrees that men think with their dicks, May gives her a pointed look and mentions that many women are prone to have similar thoughts about long things. [[HypocriticalHumor Gwen winces as she remembers an "incident" from a few months back.]]
* Petyr tells Miles to put on some silk gloves to avoid damaging the books they're reading. Miles complains they will make him look like a girl... and quickly backtracks when he notices Gwen and May giving him sharp looks.
-->'''Petyr:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase Babies can heal, books can't!]]
** May doesn't like the answer, and points out that, considering how much sex he and Gwen are having, he should be concerned with that. Gwen replies that they are careful with that.
--->'''Miles:''' He sticks it up your butt?\\
''(Gwen {{dope slap}}s him)''
* Petyr notes that what Doc Ock did to get tentacles could only be magic.
-->'''Miles:''' You don't know. Maybe some Iron Born... I don't know... ''([[BestialityIsDepraved makes the sex hand sign]])''
** May points out that there's always a man that sees a hole and wonders if he could stick it in there. As Gwen agrees that men think with their dicks, May gives her a pointed look and mentions that many women are prone to have similar thoughts about long things. [[HypocriticalHumor Gwen winces as she remembers an "incident" from a few months back.]]
* Petyr tells Miles to put on some silk gloves to avoid damaging the books they're reading. Miles complains they will make him look like a girl... and quickly backtracks when he notices Gwen and May giving him sharp looks.
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* Varys mentions how he took the Valyrian dagger that was used to attempt to kill Bran for his collection of daggers. Natasha brags that she already took it for her own collection after finding it in Varys' secret cubby hole... and Clint states he already took it from ''her'' secret cubby hole... and Varys mentions he already raided ''Clint's'' cubby hole, thanking both spies for the opportunity to learn about their secret cubby holes.
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* Hearing the pathetic attempts at lying from Petyr, Jon notes he finally realizes how he once sounded and "no wonder Ned looks like he's 30 going on 50" and drinks so much.
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* When Natasha is mentally recounting the story of how Rosalie Octavius (Small Tower at the time) went missing for several years, she mentions the reactions of various factions in Oldtown, including how the Faith stated that this was proof that their center of worship should be moved back to the city from King's Landing. The narration then comments that [[InsaneTrollLogic no one ever quite understood that logic]].
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-->''I kissed my uncle. Ugh.''
to:
-->''I kissed my uncle. Ugh.''\\
''But not blood uncle so not so ugh.''
''But not blood uncle so not so ugh.''
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* When Jeor and Mance meet the Ghost Rider at the top of the Wall, Jeor quickly goes for his sword, shocked and scared about the stranger's appearance... before the Ghost Rider starts arguing with the panther he's riding about how they should have crossed the Wall somewhere else.
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-->Then she’d realized just what she’d been thinking and instantly gone to pour cold water over herself.
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** Venom is still upset about this when they leave a while later, saying to give Ned ''three'' black eyes.
-->'''Venom''': I don't know how, but we will figure it out!
-->'''Venom''': I don't know how, but we will figure it out!
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* After Catelyn gives Ned a black eye while sleepwalking, Robb suggests that he and his father stage a spar to prevent people from wondering where the black eye came from.
-->'''Ned:''' Aye, aye... that would be fine. There is no shame in one's son getting a lucky hit in.\\
'''Venom:''' Lucky!? There is nothing lucky about Robb! His skill is beyond you all! Give him another black eye, Robb!
** Then Rickon suggests that they could just say Ned and Catelyn were having sex, [[ParentalSexualitySquick to the disgust of both Robb and Sansa]].
*** Rickon continues his train of thought by pointing out that Robb and Roslin are very active - the walls aren't thick enough to hide what they do. And finishes it with yet another flirty comment at Shireen, who shoots him down with a snarky comment.
-->'''Ned:''' Aye, aye... that would be fine. There is no shame in one's son getting a lucky hit in.\\
'''Venom:''' Lucky!? There is nothing lucky about Robb! His skill is beyond you all! Give him another black eye, Robb!
** Then Rickon suggests that they could just say Ned and Catelyn were having sex, [[ParentalSexualitySquick to the disgust of both Robb and Sansa]].
*** Rickon continues his train of thought by pointing out that Robb and Roslin are very active - the walls aren't thick enough to hide what they do. And finishes it with yet another flirty comment at Shireen, who shoots him down with a snarky comment.
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** At one point, Einridi cursed Brandon's entire line to never be able to get drunk again. Benjen is surprised by that, while Jeor recalls the time you Lord Rickard Stark spent three hours downing enough Northern beer to kill a man. All he got after that was the world's longest bathroom break.
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** At one point, Einridi cursed Brandon's entire line to never be able to get drunk again. Benjen is surprised by that, while Jeor recalls the time you young Lord Rickard Stark spent three hours downing enough Northern beer to kill a man. All he got after that was the world's longest bathroom break.
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* Carnage-Euron stabs Ultron-Baelish in the chest, and is confused when nothing happens. For his part, Ultron keeps talking as if nothing happened.
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** At one point, Einridi cursed Brandon's entire line to never be able to get drunk again. Benjen is surprised by that, while Jeor recalls the time you Lord Rickard Stark spent three hours downing enough Northern beer to kill a man. All he got after that was the world's longest bathroom break.
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* Worried no one in Westros will believe Arya's growth spurt, Mystique makes herself look and sound like a young Arya. Arya rants on how [[YourCostumeNeedsWork Mystique looks nothing like her]] snapping on how Mystique is far too pretty, her voice is too nice, not high-pitched and not muscular with ratty hair. Everyone just smirks at how Mystique looks ''exactly'' like Arya once did.
-->'''Mystique''': Arya, we are going to have a long talk about your self worth when this is done.
** And it turns out, the entire impersonation was unneeded as, after Rickon's aging, Robb becoming Venom and Sansa reborn into a direwolf, the Starks are totally set to believe the stories Arya has suddenly aged so much with powers.
-->'''Mystique''': Arya, we are going to have a long talk about your self worth when this is done.
** And it turns out, the entire impersonation was unneeded as, after Rickon's aging, Robb becoming Venom and Sansa reborn into a direwolf, the Starks are totally set to believe the stories Arya has suddenly aged so much with powers.
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* Upon learning about Rickard Reed's ability to stretch any part of his body, Wade asks the "very important" question of if he can lengthen his cock. Dany just mentally sighs about how much she wishes she could be surprised by that comment.
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Just For Pun cleanup.
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* Upon discovering she can phase through solid objects, Arya is ecstatic and leaping about, running around... only to realize she "phased" right out of her clothes and is [[JustForPun stark]] naked in front of Gendry. Magneto [[PleasePutSomeClothesOn resorts to giving her his cape so she can put on her clothes again]].
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* Upon discovering she can phase through solid objects, Arya is ecstatic and leaping about, running around... only to realize she "phased" right out of her clothes and is [[JustForPun stark]] stark naked in front of Gendry. Magneto [[PleasePutSomeClothesOn resorts to giving her his cape so she can put on her clothes again]].
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* After Cersei makes a snide comment that Robert would have had sex with a wine cask if he could have, Olenna remarks that she's certain Brandon Stark once actually did that while touring the Reach after the Tournament at Harrenhal.
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* While stopping in Braavos on the way to Meereen, Benjen's group eats at a tavern that's basically TheThemeParkVersion of Winterfell, much to Benjen's disgruntlement. And then Ygritte gets even more upset than him when it turns out that the barmaids are all meant to be portraying Free Folk.
** The barmaid serving the group takes everything in stride, stating that it's not even the strangest thing she's seen this week. When Edd questions why she's not weirded out by the presence of two blue people (Steve and Ygritte), she simply says "[[SeenItAll This is Braavos]]".
* During a BarBrawl, Tormund [[AssShove shoves a candlestick up an opponent's ass]] just to prove he can.
** The barmaid serving the group takes everything in stride, stating that it's not even the strangest thing she's seen this week. When Edd questions why she's not weirded out by the presence of two blue people (Steve and Ygritte), she simply says "[[SeenItAll This is Braavos]]".
* During a BarBrawl, Tormund [[AssShove shoves a candlestick up an opponent's ass]] just to prove he can.
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* Miles interrupts Gwen's inner monologuing, which he notes Petyr also does, except out loud. He then teases Gwen by asking if Petyr also does that while the two of them are having sex.
* When Petyr mentions working with Varys, Gwen points out how Natasha warned them not to trust him. Peter responds that it's fine, because they just had a conversation... and midway through this sentence, Petyr realizes that Varys tricked him into giving him information without realizing it.
* The Spiders interrupt Doc Ock's robbery of Tobho Mott's shop, and expect him to give some speech about how he's entitled to take what he wants due to some higher purpose. Instead, to their befuddlement, he just [[BrutalHonesty bluntly says]] he's stealing Mott's Valyrian Steel because he wants it.
* When Petyr mentions working with Varys, Gwen points out how Natasha warned them not to trust him. Peter responds that it's fine, because they just had a conversation... and midway through this sentence, Petyr realizes that Varys tricked him into giving him information without realizing it.
* The Spiders interrupt Doc Ock's robbery of Tobho Mott's shop, and expect him to give some speech about how he's entitled to take what he wants due to some higher purpose. Instead, to their befuddlement, he just [[BrutalHonesty bluntly says]] he's stealing Mott's Valyrian Steel because he wants it.
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* Edd mentions to Benjen that his mother would always tell him every night "Good night Edd, good work, sleep well, [[BreadMilkEggsSquick the Mountain Clans will most likely kill you in the morning]]."
-->'''Benjen Stark:''' [[DeadpanSnarker And suddenly so much more]] [[ThisExplainsSoMuch about you makes sense.]]
* Daenerys and her council now have a list of food that can't be served - because Wade will always make sexual references out of them.
* When Doom visits Daenerys in Meereen, Wade begins to ask if the former's dick is also metal. Logan {{dope slap}}s him hard enough to crack his skull against the table, while everyone else (save for a shocked Doom) doesn't even care to check.
-->'''Benjen Stark:''' [[DeadpanSnarker And suddenly so much more]] [[ThisExplainsSoMuch about you makes sense.]]
* Daenerys and her council now have a list of food that can't be served - because Wade will always make sexual references out of them.
* When Doom visits Daenerys in Meereen, Wade begins to ask if the former's dick is also metal. Logan {{dope slap}}s him hard enough to crack his skull against the table, while everyone else (save for a shocked Doom) doesn't even care to check.
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* When Gamora and Catelyn come running to meet some unexpected visitors, they find Ned.
-->'''Ned:''' You heard?\\
'''Gamora:''' [[DeadpanSnarker No brother, your wife and I have decided to run each morning. It's oh so wonderful exercise.]]\\
'''Ned:''' [[NotSoAboveItAll You need it. You have gotten a bit doughy.]]\\
'''Gamora:''' ME!?\\
'''Drax:''' Ha! He says you have a fat ass!\\
'''Ned:''' I actually didn't say that.\\
'''Drax:''' Do not be ashamed though, sister! Were you anyone else I would get down on my knees and worship that pillow of an ass!\\
'''Ned:''' I CERTAINLY didn't say that!
** When Jane appears, Rickon begins to tell her what a lovely daughter she has. Yondu {{dope slap}}s him and tells him to save the flirting for later.
-->'''Ned:''' You heard?\\
'''Gamora:''' [[DeadpanSnarker No brother, your wife and I have decided to run each morning. It's oh so wonderful exercise.]]\\
'''Ned:''' [[NotSoAboveItAll You need it. You have gotten a bit doughy.]]\\
'''Gamora:''' ME!?\\
'''Drax:''' Ha! He says you have a fat ass!\\
'''Ned:''' I actually didn't say that.\\
'''Drax:''' Do not be ashamed though, sister! Were you anyone else I would get down on my knees and worship that pillow of an ass!\\
'''Ned:''' I CERTAINLY didn't say that!
** When Jane appears, Rickon begins to tell her what a lovely daughter she has. Yondu {{dope slap}}s him and tells him to save the flirting for later.
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[[folder: ''A Web of Lies'']]
* The Spiders are now Jon and Natasha's squires and handmaiden. Which we find out when the three walk in them one morning, only to discover they sleep nude. Petyr is the only one of the three who doesn't [[EatingTheEyeCandy try to ogle the older pair]].
* Natasha trolling Gwen by giving her extensive and detailed tips on proper feminine hygiene.
[[/folder]]
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* Qyburn's mental DeadpanSnarker responses to Cersei's every comment and action.
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** And then it's revealed he's right - because Hodor is the form of Uatu the Watcher.
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* The author notes reactions in the live read to how Jon's thought process during this is "no, no, oh God, no..."
to:
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* After defeating Drax in a spar, [[NotSoAboveItAll Ned]] states [[RunningGag only he can claim Catelyn's ass]], much to [[ParentalSexualitySquick Robb's disgust]].
* Chapter 73's Omake is once more from ''The Simpsons''... particularly "Bart the Fink", with Jon trying to cheer Tommen up like Homer tried with Bart. Emphasis on ''[[EpicFail trying]]''.
-->'''Jon:''' ''(to Tommen)'' Don't let Tywin's death get you boy. People die all the time. ''(snaps his fingers)'' Why... you could wake up dead tomorrow.\\
''(Tommen stares at Jon)''\\
'''Jon:''' Well, goodnight!
* Chapter 73's Omake is once more from ''The Simpsons''... particularly "Bart the Fink", with Jon trying to cheer Tommen up like Homer tried with Bart. Emphasis on ''[[EpicFail trying]]''.
-->'''Jon:''' ''(to Tommen)'' Don't let Tywin's death get you boy. People die all the time. ''(snaps his fingers)'' Why... you could wake up dead tomorrow.\\
''(Tommen stares at Jon)''\\
'''Jon:''' Well, goodnight!
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* Since Ygritte became an Other, she and Steve have been engaging in [[DestructoNookie scenery-destroying sex]]. Much to [[TheImmodestOrgasm the chagrin of everyone else in Castle Black]].
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* Yondu/Rickard manages to get one last parting shot against Ned trying to preserve his memory unintentionally. "REDECORATE THIS SOLAR FOR GODS SAKE!"
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* The author notes reactions in the live read to how Jon's thought process during this is "no, no, oh God, no..."
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* Cersei spends an entire chapter daydreaming about what she'll do after being named Hand and Regent, such as arresting Jon. Cue Tommen upending her plans by naming '''Jon''' his new Hand and Regent.
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* Despite Sansa now being a wolf, Robb still thinks his situation is weirder. [[HypocriticalHumor Venom denies this.]]
* When Drax claims that as Brandon he was working to seduce a guard to get out of the Black Cells, Ned quickly confirms to a curious Lyanna that there were no female guards. [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain Yondu just as quickly says they'll never speak of this subject again.]]
** Also, Drax is ''still'' obsessed with Catelyn's ass, and won't stop asking Ned about it.
** After Ned has a very intense argument with Gamora about Jon, Drax comes in to complain about Catelyn not giving him a welcome home blowjob, before going off on a tangent about how in Essos some people like to shove rodents up their asses.
* When Drax claims that as Brandon he was working to seduce a guard to get out of the Black Cells, Ned quickly confirms to a curious Lyanna that there were no female guards. [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain Yondu just as quickly says they'll never speak of this subject again.]]
** Also, Drax is ''still'' obsessed with Catelyn's ass, and won't stop asking Ned about it.
** After Ned has a very intense argument with Gamora about Jon, Drax comes in to complain about Catelyn not giving him a welcome home blowjob, before going off on a tangent about how in Essos some people like to shove rodents up their asses.
