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''The Sidehackers'' (aka ''Five The Hard Way'') is a 1969 ExploitationFilm which follows the attempts of a garage mechanic and amateur motorcycle racer to avenge the rape and murder of his girlfriend.

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''The Sidehackers'' (aka ''Five The the Hard Way'') is a 1969 ExploitationFilm which follows the attempts of a garage mechanic and amateur motorcycle racer to avenge the rape and murder of his girlfriend.

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* CannotTellAJoke: The punchline of the above joke is that the new prisoner can't tell a joke, even when he's just calling a number. Ironically, Crapout himself falls under this trope because he can't stop cackling long enough to finish a single sentence while telling the joke, completely killing the humor.


* HeelFaceTurn: Averted in that Nero was never a bad guy. He helps Rommel because he's sick of JC's abuse.

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* HeelFaceTurn: Averted in that Nero was never a bad guy. He He's the only one (besides Gooch) who isn't present during the home invasion/assault and helps Rommel because he's sick of JC's abuse.

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* AnyoneCanDie: [[spoiler: Crapout, Nero and J.C. are the only characters who survive the battle at the rock quarry]].


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* GroinAttack: Rommel delivers an epic punch to J.C.'s nuts at the end of their fight. [[spoiler: sadly, this didn't stop J.C. from shooting Rommel in the back]].


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* TheHeroDies: [[spoiler: Rommel gets shot in the back by J.C. after he seemingly incapacitated him with a GroinAttack]].

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** MY OWN FLESH I DIDN'T LOVE BETTER!


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* JumpScare: The sudden close up of murdered and hanged Rita with the loud ScareChord after Rommel wakes up from the brutal beating of J.C.'s goons.


* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: Paisley comes to regret lying about Rommel, saying she doesn't know who she hates more, JC or herself. She tells JC she wants to get away from him, which throws JC into a rage and he strangles her, pushing him off the slippery slope.

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* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: Paisley comes to regret lying about Rommel, saying she doesn't know who she hates more, JC or herself. She tells JC she wants to get away from him, which throws JC into a rage and he strangles her, pushing him off the slippery slope.slope[[note]]Although, by that point, he HAD already beaten up an innocent guy and then raped AND murdered an innocent woman, who was in no way involved in Rommel's fake rape of Paisley.[[/note]].


** Gooch, did you really think anyone would believe you were shitting in the bushes for ''over an hour?''

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** Gooch, Cooch, did you really think anyone would believe you were shitting in the bushes for ''over an hour?''


* HalfwayPlotSwitch: ...with perhaps echoes of FirstLawOfTragicomedies. The film starts off as a goofy, cheesy motor-sport flick about Sidehacking. Then, after his initial comically-disastrous introduction, J.C. has that blow-up during dinner....then it gets dark from there. This was the main reason those at ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' picked this movie to begin with. They were expecting a goofy, "hep-cat", teeny-bopper motor-sport flick, not a dark "Murder-Rape-Revenge" flick.

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* HalfwayPlotSwitch: ...with perhaps echoes of FirstLawOfTragicomedies. The film starts off as a goofy, cheesy motor-sport flick about Sidehacking. Then, after his initial comically-disastrous introduction, J.C. has that blow-up during dinner....dinner... then it gets dark from there. This was the main reason those at ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' picked this movie to begin with. They were expecting a goofy, "hep-cat", teeny-bopper motor-sport flick, not a dark "Murder-Rape-Revenge" flick.


* BittersweetEnding: Though the story is a DownerEnding, it could be seen as a bittersweet one [[FromACertainPointOfView from a certain point of view]]. Almost everyone, including the hero, gets killed (while the villain lives)....but the villain is implied to get arrested afterwards. Rommel's friend at the garage knew a bit about what was going on and even asked Rommel, "Why don't you just call the police?". In a nutshell; The whole flick boils down to J.C. having KarmaHoudiniWarranty[[note]]J.C. will eventually be punished with either Life or the Death Penalty[[/note]] and the stupidity of not calling law enforcement to do their job [[note]]Which was probably the {{Aesop}} of this whole story to begin with[[/note]].

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* BittersweetEnding: Though the story is a DownerEnding, it could be seen as a bittersweet one [[FromACertainPointOfView from a certain point of view]]. Almost everyone, including the hero, gets killed (while the villain lives)....lives)... but the villain is implied to get arrested afterwards. Rommel's friend at the garage knew a bit about what was going on and even asked Rommel, "Why don't you just call the police?". In a nutshell; The whole flick boils down to J.C. having KarmaHoudiniWarranty[[note]]J.C. will eventually be punished with either Life or the Death Penalty[[/note]] and the stupidity of not calling law enforcement to do their job [[note]]Which was probably the {{Aesop}} of this whole story to begin with[[/note]].



* TogetherInDeath: Rommel and Rita...ev-evidently? What ''was'' that?

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* TogetherInDeath: Rommel and Rita... ev-evidently? What ''was'' that?


[[PoliceAreUseless The police seem unable to locate JC]]; so Rommel, with nothing left to live for, sells all his worldly possessions in order to hire a gang to go exact his own revenge. He gets help from an unexpected source; a couple of JC's henchmen, Gooch and Nero, defect to Rommel's side. Except Gooch is TheMole and is secretly reporting Rommel's moves to JC. Ah, but Rommel is aware of Gooch's secret, and so this plot point... ultimately goes nowhere. In the meantime, JC gets bad vibes about Paisley's rape story and strangles her in a jealous fit.

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[[PoliceAreUseless The police seem unable to locate JC]]; so Rommel, with nothing left to live for, sells all his worldly possessions in order to hire a gang to go exact his own revenge. He gets help from an unexpected source; a couple of JC's henchmen, Gooch Cooch and Nero, defect to Rommel's side. Except Gooch Cooch is TheMole and is secretly reporting Rommel's moves to JC. Ah, but Rommel is aware of Gooch's secret, and so this plot point... ultimately goes nowhere. In the meantime, JC gets bad vibes about Paisley's rape story and strangles her in a jealous fit.


* PoliceAreUseless: They can't seem to find JC after the murder, even though he's hiding in a local rock quarry.
** Even worse, he was hiding in his hotel for ''ten days'' before moving to the rock quarry.
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: JC. That bit where he starts yelling at Nero, the sound goes out and the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' crew yells at him to shut up? Yeah, it's just what you're thinking.
** Plus, he's a misogynist who beats, rapes & kills women.

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* PoliceAreUseless: They can't seem to find JC after the murder, even though he's hiding in a local rock quarry.
**
quarry. Even worse, he was hiding in his hotel for ''ten days'' before moving to the rock quarry.
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: JC. That bit where he starts yelling at Nero, the sound goes out and the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' crew yells at him to shut up? Yeah, it's just what you're thinking.
**
thinking. Plus, he's a misogynist who beats, rapes & kills women.



* RuleOfSymbolism: So screwed up only the makers of this film could possibly explain the symbolism of a racist, misogynistic Jesus Christ.
** And the hero's named after a [[ThoseWackyNazis Nazi]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII General.]]

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* RuleOfSymbolism: So screwed up only the makers of this film could possibly explain the symbolism of a racist, misogynistic Jesus Christ.
**
Christ. And the hero's named after a [[ThoseWackyNazis Nazi]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII General.]]


%%* LostLoveMontage
%%* MeadowRun
%%* MightyGlacier: Big Jake.
%%* TheMole: Gooch


* DownerEnding, bordering on ShootTheShaggyDog.
** Well; Just short of ShootTheShaggyDog. If it's of any consolation to anyone, it is implied that the cops catch and arrest J.C. They were arriving on the scene just as [[spoiler: JC shoots Rommel to death]]. [[note]]Also; If you believe in an afterlife, you could perhaps imagine that Rommel and Rita are [[TogetherInDeath reunited there]], living HappilyEverAfter.[[/note]]

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** JC finds nothing odd about how casually Paisley tells him she's been raped.


The film is best known for its appearance on ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', which wound up changing the show's history. The creators of ''MST3K'' were unaware of and unprepared for the graphic rape/murder scene, which horrified them so much that they altered the process for screening films; from this point forward, all potential movies would be screened in their entirety '''before''' being chosen for inclusion on the show. For more info on the episode, please go to the [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S02E02TheSidehackers episode recap page]]. The original uncut film can be seen starting [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMuF2XvPEO0 here.]]

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The film is best known for its appearance on ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', which wound up changing the show's history. The creators of ''MST3K'' ''[=MST3K=]'' were unaware of and unprepared for the graphic rape/murder scene, which horrified them so much that they altered the process for screening films; from this point forward, all potential movies would be screened in their entirety '''before''' being chosen for inclusion on the show. For more info on the episode, please go to the [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S02E02TheSidehackers episode recap page]]. The original uncut film can be seen starting [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMuF2XvPEO0 here.]]



* HalfwayPlotSwitch: ...with perhaps echoes of FirstLawOfTragicomedies. The film starts off as a goofy, cheesy motor-sport flick about Sidehacking. Then, after his initial comically-disastrous introduction, J.C. has that blow-up during dinner....then it gets dark from there. This was the main reason those at [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] picked this movie to begin with. They were expecting a goofy, "hep-cat", teeny-bopper motor-sport flick, not a dark "Murder-Rape-Revenge" flick.

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* HalfwayPlotSwitch: ...with perhaps echoes of FirstLawOfTragicomedies. The film starts off as a goofy, cheesy motor-sport flick about Sidehacking. Then, after his initial comically-disastrous introduction, J.C. has that blow-up during dinner....then it gets dark from there. This was the main reason those at [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' picked this movie to begin with. They were expecting a goofy, "hep-cat", teeny-bopper motor-sport flick, not a dark "Murder-Rape-Revenge" flick.



* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: JC. That bit where he starts yelling at Nero, the sound goes out and the [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] crew yells at him to shut up? Yeah, it's just what you're thinking.

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* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: JC. That bit where he starts yelling at Nero, the sound goes out and the [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 MST3K]] ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' crew yells at him to shut up? Yeah, it's just what you're thinking.

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