History Film / BurnAfterReading

'''Linda''': What happened?

--> '''Osbourne''': If you ever carried out your proposed threat, you would experience such a ''shitstorm'' of consequences, my friend! Your empty little head would be spinning faster than the wheels of your Schwinn bicycle back there!
--> '''Chad''': ''(chuckles)'' You think that's a Schwinn!

--> '''CIA Operative:''' We'll interface with the FBI regarding the body.
-->'''CIA Superior:''' No, no. God no. We don't need those idiots fucking everything up. Burn the body. Get rid of it.

-->'''Ted:''' It's not a phony-baloney Hollywood body.
-->'''Linda:''' That's right, Ted. I would be laughed out of Hollywood.
* LostAesop: At the end, the CIA director tries to figure out what exactly the lesson they should take away from this mess is, only to realize that if there was one, it's entirely lost on him.

-->'''CIA Officer:''' They all seem to be sleeping with each other.

-->'''Ted''': Let me tell you something; I wasn't always a manager at Hardbodies. (shows Linda a picture of himself in priest garb) Fourteen years, a Greek Orthodox priest. Congregation in Chevy Chase.
-->'''Linda''': Well jeez, that's a good job!
-->'''Ted''': Mm-hm.
-->'''Linda''': What happened?
-->'''Ted''': Well... it's a long story. Anyway, in a lot of ways I'm happier now. My point is it's a journey.

-->'''Osbourne''': If you ever carried out your proposed threat, you would experience such a shitstorm of consequences, my friend, your empty little head would be spinning faster than the wheels of your Schwinn bicycle back there.
-->'''Osbourne''': Oh yes, I know very well what you represent. You represent the idiocy of today. Yeah, you're the guy at the gym when I asked about that moronic woman. Oh yes, you see, you're one of the morons I've been fighting my whole life. My whole fucking life. But guess what... [[PreMortemOneLiner Today, I win.]]

'''Director:''' You don't know.\\

'''Director:''' We have no extradition with Venezuela.\\

'''Director:''' For fuck's sake, put him on the next flight to Venezuela!

-->'''Osborne Cox''': You're part of a league of morons. You're one of the morons I have been fighting my whole life. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis My whole. Fucking. Life.]]

-->'''Osbourne Cox:''' "The ''Russians''? Why the fuck would she go to the Russians? Why the ''fuck''!?!"

-->'''Osborne''': Palmer, with all due respect, what the fuck are you talking about?

Anything then resembling a plot promptly collapses inwards as a LoveDodecahedron starts to connect several people, most of whom become ''[[ParanoiaFuel extremely paranoid]] or worse''; in fact, the "plot" is best summed up by critic James Christopher, who points out the plot "...is a total mistake. The characters are madly absurd. The film shouldn't work, but it does."

* FilmWithinAFilm: ''Coming Up Daisy'', a RomanticComedy directed by Creator/SamRaimi, starring Dermot Mulroney and Claire Danes, and based on a book by [[NoCountryForOldMen Cormac McCarthy]].

''Burn After Reading'' is a 2008 BlackComedy film written, produced and directed by Creator/TheCoenBrothers, starring Creator/JohnMalkovich, Creator/GeorgeClooney, Creator/TildaSwinton, Creator/FrancesMcDormand, and Creator/BradPitt. When CIA Analyst Osbourne Cox is forced into retirement, his wife wants to divorce him; however, when an employee at Hardbodies Gym, named Linda, finds a CD containing their financial information -- and Cox's unfinished memoirs -- she assumes that the CD contains sensitive information, and tries to hold it to ransom.

* DeconstructiveParody: Of crime and spy thrillers.

* CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot: If Osbourne had only encrypted his computer data, eh? [[IdiotBall This is almost unbelievably sloppy on his part.]] Though considering how careless he seems to be with "sensitive shit" in general, [[FridgeBrilliance it does call into question his competence as a CIA employee, and is very probably one of the reasons he was "reassigned".]]

* IvyLeagueForEveryone

* BlindDate

** To review: [[spoiler:Linda, who is terribly shallow and greedy, thinks only of her own benefit, and fully intends to sell national secrets to Russia for cash, gets the CIA to pay for her surgeries, and suffers no negative consequences to her actions. Harry, who is a complete sleazebag who constantly cheats on his wife, gets served divorce papers and ends up a paranoid wreck, but otherwise gets away scot-free to Venezuela. Osborne is an alcoholic [=JerkAss=], but at least has good (if very misguided) intentions; he ends up in a coma and borderline braindead. Finally, the characters who get it worst are Chad and Ted, both sweet and sympathetic characters who just try to help; Chad is shot in the head in the second act, while Ted is shot in the arm ''and hacked to death with a hatchet''.]]

* BigGood: [[DeconstructiveParody It says a]] lot when the ''CIA'' is the closest thing to this.

* BloodyHilarious

* BuffySpeak

* TheChewToy: Extreme examples with Ted and Chad. Everyone else in the plot is a self-centered sociopath who can't recognize they aren't the most important person in the universe. These two actually decide to help someone else. Think they'll be rewarded for their efforts, or even appreciated? Not in this plot...
* CIAEvilFBIGood: Played with. When Palmer offers to liase with the FBI over the investigation of the murder [[spoiler: of Chad]], the CIA director dismissively rejects this as he doesn't want "those idiots bungling around in all this." On the whole, however, while the director's not exactly shy about disappearing inconvenient bodies or allowing [[KarmaHoudini guilty people to more or less go free]] to prevent embarrassment to the agency, he (and by extension the CIA) come off less evil and more befuddled by what's going on.

* DespairEventHorizon: Happens to Harry after he accidentally kills [[spoiler:Chad]] in the closet who he thought was a spy. Ever since, Harry developed a HairTriggerTemper and distant, obsessive behavior due to paranoia and the murder he committed.

* EvenEvilHasStandards: Harry might not be a particularly decent or moral individual, but he is shown to be genuinely traumatised and guilt-ridden [[spoiler: after accidentally murdering Chad.]]

* GambitPileup

** Osbourne Cox rails against the morons and idiots he feels he's surrounded by, but for all his pretensions he's not as smart as he likes to think.

* ImprovisedWeapon: Ted shows surprising resourcefulness when [[spoiler:held at gunpoint, hurling a paperweight at his attacker to throw off his aim and then running for the door with a bullet in his arm.]]
* InstantDeathBullet: Averted. The only time a character does die from a single bullet was shot in the head at point blank range. But Osborne and Ted both survive being shot, if only barely.

* JerkAss: Half of the cast, since there are those like the CIA director and Ted, the former of which is simply lost as to what's going on with the main characters, while the latter is a good, honest man who tries to act as a voice of reason. Then there's Chad, who putting it mildly, is simply too naive to know what he's getting involved in.

* KarmaHoudini: [[spoiler: Linda is quite possibly the most repulsive, selfish character in the entire movie who should have been charged at minimum with treason. She's also the only main character who comes out of the film with what she wanted.]]

** [[spoiler: Osbourne is married to Katie, has his memoirs stolen by Linda and kills Ted.\\
Linda is friends with Chad, is oblivious to Ted's attraction and later goes out with Harry.\\

* MockGuffin: [[spoiler: The aforementioned "shit" is a memoir that probably would have not published anyway, as the movie suggests Cox's book isn't important or interesting enough that anyone would want to read it.]]

** Case in point is the SurprisinglySuddenDeath of TheDitz [[spoiler:Chad]] who gets an accidental BoomHeadshot by spy veteran Harry.

** To review: [[spoiler: Linda, who is terribly shallow and greedy, thinks only of her own benefit, and fully intends to sell national secrets to Russia for cash, gets the CIA to pay for her surgeries, and suffers no negative consequences to her actions. Harry, who is a complete sleazebag who constantly cheats on his wife gets served divorce papers, but otherwise gets away scot free to Venezuela. Osborne is an alcoholic [=JerkAss=], but at least has good (if very misguided) intentions; he ends up in a coma and borderline braindead. Finally, the characters who get it worst are Chad and Ted, both sweet and sympathetic characters who just try to help; Chad is shot in the head in the second act, while Ted is shot in the arm ''and hacked to death with a hatchet.'']]

** OhCrapSmile: [[spoiler: He manages to form one of these just before being shot in the head.]]

** Also, Ted, the sole voice of reason amongst his colleagues at Hardbodies - and who is always ignored. Poor Ted.

-->"I thought you might be worried...about the security...of your '''shit'''."

-->'''Osbourne''': Oh yes, I know very well what you represent. You represent the idiocy of today. Yeah, you're the guy at the gym when I asked about that moronic woman. Oh yes, you see, you're one of the morons I've been fighting my whole life. My whole fucking life. But guess what... Today, I win.

* TheReveal: The movie does a ''fantastic'' job building up anticipation about what Harry had been secretly constructing in his basement with all those tools. Cue the DramaticCurtainToss and ... turns out [[spoiler: it's a sex-toy, namely a rocking chair that pushes a dildo up and down.]]

* ShootTheShaggyDog: [[spoiler:Both Chad and Ted]] lose their lives in vain attempts to gather information at Osborne's house. The {{Irony}} is that their UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom Linda [[spoiler: gets out alive, padded with hush money from the CIA.]] Furthermore, judging by the CIA Director's nonchalant reaction after being told Osbourne's clearance level ("No biggie.") and the Russian embassy staff's reaction to reading them, it's likely his memoirs didn't contain anything the least bit sensitive or revealing, thus rendering all the fuss over them completely pointless.

-->'''Osborne Cox''': You're part of a league of morons. You're one of the morons I have been fighting my whole life. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis My whole. Fucking. Life]].

* TooDumbToLive: Our {{Wannabe Secret Agent}}s [[spoiler:Chad and Linda]]. The latter manages to get out alive and [[KarmaHoudini scot-free]] though.
* UnnecessaryCombatRoll: Harry [[spoiler: after he has already killed Chad]].

* VillainProtagonist: Osborne Cox is, consistently throughout the film, the character who is wronged or victimized the most. Since all the other characters are screwing him over in one way or another (having an affair with his wife, blackmailing him), that makes them the villains...and the protagonists. May cross over with HeroAntagonist.
* WannabeSecretAgent: Chad and Linda. When they discover Osborne's manuscript, they falsely believe it to contain classified information, that could be sold to the Russian government. A whole ton of CringeComedy ensues. Osborne later [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calls Chad out on his stupidity]].

-->'''Osbourne Cox:''' "The ''Russians''? Why the fuck would she go to the Russians? Why the ''Fuck''!?!"

* AudienceSurrogate: The JKSimmons character. He's the only one in the movie to point out that basically nothing that has happened makes sense.

* CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot: If Osbourne had only encrypted his computer data, eh? [[IdiotBall Very sloppy.]] Considering how careless he seems to be with "sensitive shit" in general, [[FridgeLogic it does call into question his competence as a CIA employee, and is very probably one of the reasons he was "reassigned".]]

* LostAesop: At the end, the CIA director tries to figure out what exactly the lesson they should take away from this mess is, only to realise that if there was one, it's entirely lost on him.

* MockGuffin: [[spoiler:The aforementioned "shit" is memoirs that were going to be published anyway. Or probably ''not'' published, as the movie suggests Malkovich's book isn't important or interesting enough that anyone would want to read it.]]

* {{Blackmail}}: Chad and Linda try to pull this on Osborne, whereupon HilarityEnsues.

-->'''CIA Superior:''' What did we learn, Palmer?
-->'''Palmer:''' I don't know, sir.
-->'''CIA Superior:''' I don't fuckin' know either. I guess we learned... not to do it again.
-->'''Palmer:''' Yes, sir.
-->'''CIA Superior:''' I'm fucked if I know what we ''did. ''
-->'''Palmer:''' Yes, sir. Hard to say.
-->'''CIA Superior:''' Jesus fucking Christ.

* TheReveal: The movie does a ''fantastic'' job building up anticipation about what Harry had been secretly constructing in his basement with all those tools. Cue the DramaticCurtainToss and ... turns out [[spoiler: it's an sex-toy, namely a rocking chair that pushes a dildo up and down.]]

* CIAEvilFBIGood: Played with. When Palmer offers to liase with the FBI over the investigation of the murder [[spoiler: of Chad]], the CIA director dismissively rejects this as he doesn't want "those idiots bungling around in all this." On the whole, however, while the director's not exactly shy about disappearing inconvenient bodies or allowing [[KarmaHoudini guilty people to more or less go free]], he (and by extension the CIA) come off less evil and more befuddled by what's going on.