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* SarcasmMode: "Oh, why yes Corporal, you DID introduce me to Henry the Gaunt. What's that? He just ripped your throat out? Well, color me very UNSURPRISED!"
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** The narrator's wife as well, as one commissar found out when he pulled a gun on her daughter.
* PapaWolf: Don't pull a gun on the narrator's daughter, it won't end well for you.
* PapaWolf: Don't pull a gun on the narrator's daughter, it won't end well for you.
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* AssShove: Implied to be what the Imperial Fists will do to people who make fun of their chapter's name.
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* TakeOurWordForIt: "11. Don't make fun of the Imperial Fists' name: They will actually do it. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. DON'T DO IT!"
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* DeathBySex: Several entries state why having any form of sex with Slaaneshi cultists is a bad idea.
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* TheEnemyWeaponsAreBetter: Played straight with T'au and Eldar weapons, though getting caught with them will result in summery execution. Subverted with Chaos and Ork weaponry. The former due to usually being possessed by a daemon, which will then attempted to possess, corrupt, and/or kill the user. The latter because they're stupidly heavy, don't work as well in the hands of non-Orks, and make the user a more appealing target for Orks.
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* TheEnemyWeaponsAreBetter: Played straight with T'au and Eldar weapons, though getting caught with them will result in summery execution.execution, and ammo is hard to find unless you're fighting those specific enemies. Subverted with Chaos and Ork weaponry. The former due to usually being possessed by a daemon, which will then attempted to possess, corrupt, and/or kill the user. The latter because they're stupidly heavy, don't work as well in the hands of non-Orks, and make the user a more appealing target for Orks.
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* RecklessGunUsage - Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.
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* RecklessGunUsage - RecklessGunUsage: Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.broken.
* TheEnemyWeaponsAreBetter: Played straight with T'au and Eldar weapons, though getting caught with them will result in summery execution. Subverted with Chaos and Ork weaponry. The former due to usually being possessed by a daemon, which will then attempted to possess, corrupt, and/or kill the user. The latter because they're stupidly heavy, don't work as well in the hands of non-Orks, and make the user a more appealing target for Orks.
* TheEnemyWeaponsAreBetter: Played straight with T'au and Eldar weapons, though getting caught with them will result in summery execution. Subverted with Chaos and Ork weaponry. The former due to usually being possessed by a daemon, which will then attempted to possess, corrupt, and/or kill the user. The latter because they're stupidly heavy, don't work as well in the hands of non-Orks, and make the user a more appealing target for Orks.
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* JugglingDangerously: The very first entry is about juggling grenades is a bad idea, not just for the juggler but for any one near him. The narrator himself lost part of his nose because a drunken Catachan tried this with a melta bomb.
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* JugglingDangerously: The very first entry is about how juggling grenades is a bad idea, not just for the juggler but for any one near him. The narrator himself lost part of his nose because a drunken Catachan tried this with a melta bomb.
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* JugglingDangerously: The very first entry is about juggling grenades is a bad idea, not just for the juggler but for any one near him. The narrator himself lost part of his nose because a drunken Catachan tried this with a melta bomb.
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* SuicideAttack: Discussed. The narrator says he's not against the concept, but remarks that if you're throwing your life away, it should be in a way where the enemy is paying a high price for it.
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* TheSmurfettePrinciple: Inverted. The narrator is the only male in his family, which consists of himself, his wife, his sister, his daughter, and the daughter's girlfriend/wife.
* SuicideAttack: Discussed. The narrator says he's not against the concept, but remarks that if you're throwing your life away, it should be in a way where the enemy is paying a high price for it.
* SuicideAttack: Discussed. The narrator says he's not against the concept, but remarks that if you're throwing your life away, it should be in a way where the enemy is paying a high price for it.
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* AlcoholInducedIdiocy - Several entries are a result of this.
* AnArmAndALeg - The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards, and a testicle from when he insulted an Ork warboss and got kicked where it hurts the most.
* AssholeVictim - Several entries involve horrible people suffering horrible deaths.
* {{BFG}} - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
* DrugsAreBad - Well, Dark Eldar drugs at least. The narrator himself is a smoker.
* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan - Painfully averted.
* GroinAttack - Pretty much implied to have happened to a guardsman when, as payback for his slain brothers-in-arms, he decided to urinate on a downed Necron whose self-repair systems soon kicked in.
* AnArmAndALeg - The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards, and a testicle from when he insulted an Ork warboss and got kicked where it hurts the most.
* AssholeVictim - Several entries involve horrible people suffering horrible deaths.
* {{BFG}} - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
* DrugsAreBad - Well, Dark Eldar drugs at least. The narrator himself is a smoker.
* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan - Painfully averted.
* GroinAttack - Pretty much implied to have happened to a guardsman when, as payback for his slain brothers-in-arms, he decided to urinate on a downed Necron whose self-repair systems soon kicked in.
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* AlcoholInducedIdiocy - AlcoholInducedIdiocy: Several entries are a result of this.
*AnArmAndALeg - AnArmAndALeg: The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards, and a testicle from when he insulted an Ork warboss and got kicked where it hurts the most.
*AssholeVictim - AntiHero: The narrator isn't the nicest of people, having committed several acts of fragging and maintains quite a few of the Imperium's more xenophobic attitudes without question. But he can generally be trusted to keep those mindsets in check when the situation calls for it and tends to do the right thing.
* AssholeVictim: Several entries involve horrible people suffering horrible deaths.
*{{BFG}} - {{BFG}}: It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
*DrugsAreBad - BlackComedy
* DrugsAreBad: Well, Dark Eldar drugs at least. The narrator himself is a smoker.
*GetAHoldOfYourselfMan - GetAHoldOfYourselfMan: Painfully averted.
*GroinAttack - GroinAttack: Pretty much implied to have happened to a guardsman when, as payback for his slain brothers-in-arms, he decided to urinate on a downed Necron whose self-repair systems soon kicked in.
*
*
* AssholeVictim: Several entries involve horrible people suffering horrible deaths.
*
*
* DrugsAreBad: Well, Dark Eldar drugs at least. The narrator himself is a smoker.
*
*
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* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil - The narrator DOES NOT support sexual slavery of any sort!
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* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil - KnightOfCerebus: The Chaos Lord. Nothing about her is played for laughs, the narrator experiences nothing but sheer dread at her presence, and chapters where she personally makes an appearance focus heavily on suspense.
* MamaBear: The Chaos Lord, to the narrator's horror.
* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil: The narrator DOES NOT support sexual slavery of any sort!
* MamaBear: The Chaos Lord, to the narrator's horror.
* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil: The narrator DOES NOT support sexual slavery of any sort!
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* TooDumbToLive - Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
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* TooDumbToLive - SuicideAttack: Discussed. The narrator says he's not against the concept, but remarks that if you're throwing your life away, it should be in a way where the enemy is paying a high price for it.
* TooDumbToLive: Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
* TooDumbToLive: Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
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Capitalization was fixed from FanFic.Avoiding Stupid Deaths In The41st Millennium to Fanfic.Avoiding Stupid Deaths In The41st Millennium. Null edit to update page. Page may need a mojibake cleanup after the fact
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** "89: Never accuse a Warboss of having no balls:…I was young. Very young. He kicked me…one of them popped. I was one of the lucky ones too."
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** "89: Never accuse a Warboss of having no balls:…I balls:...I was young. Very young. He kicked me…one me...one of them popped. I was one of the lucky ones too."
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* TooDumbToLive - Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
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* TooDumbToLive - Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.this.
* UnfriendlyFire: Multiple rules demonstrate what happens to Commissars who get too blam-happy.
* UnfriendlyFire: Multiple rules demonstrate what happens to Commissars who get too blam-happy.
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* BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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* BFG {{BFG}} - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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* AssholeVictim - Several entries involve horrible people suffering horrible deaths.
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* DrugsAreBad - Well, Dark Eldar drugs at least. The narrator himself is a smoker.
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* RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil - The narrator DOES NOT support sexual slavery of any sort!
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* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan - Painfully averted.
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** Also the narrator when he decided to insult an Ork warboss. Ended up with the narrator getting kicked so hard a testicle popped.
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** Also the narrator when he decided to insult an Ork warboss. Ended up with the narrator getting "89: Never accuse a Warboss of having no balls:…I was young. Very young. He kicked so hard a testicle popped.me…one of them popped. I was one of the lucky ones too."
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A ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'' fanfic by errtheking
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A ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'' fanfic by errtheking
errtheking. Can be read on [[https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/avoiding-stupid-deaths-in-the-41st-millennium-40k-humor.512056/ Space Battles]] and [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11122882/1/Avoiding-Stupid-Deaths-in-the-41st-Millennium FanFiction.net]].
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* Main/BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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* Main/BFG BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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* BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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* BFG Main/BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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A Warhammer 40K fanfic by errtheking
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A Warhammer 40K ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'' fanfic by errtheking
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* AnArmAndALeg - The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, and an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards.
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* AnArmAndALeg - The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, and an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards.cards, and a testicle from when he insulted an Ork warboss and got kicked where it hurts the most.
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** Also the narrator when he decided to insult an Ork warboss. Ended up with the narrator getting kicked so hard a testicle popped.
** A guardsman tried calming down a fellow guardsman who just saw their husband get disintegrated by slapping them... got a bayonet in their balls as a result.
** A guardsman tried calming down a fellow guardsman who just saw their husband get disintegrated by slapping them... got a bayonet in their balls as a result.
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* RecklessGunUsage - Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.
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* RecklessGunUsage - Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.broken.
* TooDumbToLive - Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
* TooDumbToLive - Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
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* BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
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* AnArmAndALeg - The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, and an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards.
* GroinAttack - Pretty much implied to have happened to a guardsman when, as payback for his slain brothers-in-arms, he decided to urinate on a downed Necron whose self-repair systems soon kicked in.
* GroinAttack - Pretty much implied to have happened to a guardsman when, as payback for his slain brothers-in-arms, he decided to urinate on a downed Necron whose self-repair systems soon kicked in.
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In the grim dark future of the 41st millennium, a guardsman writes, with just a small amount of frustration, of the many foolish deaths that have claimed others, in the hopes that future generations will avoid the same downfalls. He isn't holding his breath.
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In the grim dark future of the 41st millennium, a guardsman writes, with just a small amount of frustration, of the many foolish deaths that have claimed others, in the hopes that future generations will avoid the same downfalls. He isn't holding his breath.breath.
* AlcoholInducedIdiocy - Several entries are a result of this.
* RecklessGunUsage - Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.
* AlcoholInducedIdiocy - Several entries are a result of this.
* RecklessGunUsage - Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.
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Starting a page for this fanfic
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In the grim dark future of the 41st millennium, a guardsman writes, with just a small amount of frustration, of the many foolish deaths that have claimed others, in the hopes that future generations will avoid the same downfalls. He isn't holding his breath.
