History FanFic / ThreeBadassesInWesteros

* FiveManBand: Seems to be the case as of Part 4:
** TheHero: Audie Murphy.
** TheLancer: Simo Häyhä.
** TheBigGuy: Sandor Clegane.
** TheSmartGuy: Aarne Juutilainen.
** TheChick: Lyudmila Pavlichenko.

When noted badass Creator/AudieMurphy fell asleep during a showing of ''To Hell and Back'', he certainly didn't expect to wake in the middle of an incredibly cold land, next to fellow badasses [[UsefulNotes/SimoHayha Simo "The White Death" Häyhä]] and Aarne "The Terror of Morocco" Juutilainen, much less joining the household of [[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire Eddard Stark, Lord Paramount of the North]].

Yes, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin it is that awesome]].

Contrary to the typical ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'', [=Worffan101=] manages to bring, out of this unlikely crossover, one of the [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments funniest]] pieces in fanfic history, while still retaining the grit that has made the book series so much of an impact.

So far, [=Worffan101=] has provided five parts: ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/5506883 Emme tiedä, missä olemme. Mutta olemme kunnossa sen kanssa!]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/5924698 Emme vielä tiedä, missä olemme, mutta se on kunnossa! Olemme tottuneet siihen nyt.]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6064395 Joffrey Waters menee Seinään!]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6241303 Seikkailut Joffrey Waters seinällä!]]'' and ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6458587 Tyyntä myrskyn]]'', with a sixth part to come (don't worry, the stories are in English), plus a short story, ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6182443 Ramsay Snow gets his ass killed by Lady Death.]]''

A side series, ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/series/445750 Two Badasses in Essos]]'' chronicles "Mad Jack" Churchill and Milunka Savić as they join and begin reforming the Dothraki horde for Viserys Targaryen, while [[spoiler:[[UsefulNotes/NaziGermany Reinhard Heydrich]]]] installs a fascist state in Qarth.

Warning: do '''''not''''' read while drinking (or eating). [[SpitTake It will ruin your computer.]]

* FacialHorror: One of Simo Häyhä's most striking features is the fact that the left half of his face is heavily damaged.

* NotSoDifferent: Jaime points this out between himself and Jon Snow.

* RealityEnsues: No matter how good a sniper you are, fighting a guy that towers over and outweighs you in hand-to-hand isn't likely to come out well. [[spoiler:Fortunately, Simo will recover to learn the lesson.]]

When noted badass Creator/AudieMurphy fell asleep during a showing of ''To Hell and Back'', he certainly didn't expect to wake in the middle of an incredibly cold land, next to fellow badasses [[UsefulNotes/SimoHayha Simo "The White Death" Häyhä]] and Aarne "The Terror of Morocco" Juutilainen, much less joining the household of [[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire Eddard Stark, Lord Paramount of the North]].

So far, [=Worffan101=] has provided five parts: ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/5506883 Emme tiedä, missä olemme. Mutta olemme kunnossa sen kanssa!]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/5924698 Emme vielä tiedä, missä olemme, mutta se on kunnossa! Olemme tottuneet siihen nyt.]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6064395 Joffrey Waters menee Seinään!]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6241303 Seikkailut Joffrey Waters seinällä!]]'' and ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6458587 Tyyntä myrskyn]]'', with a sixth part to come (don't worry, the stories are in English), plus a short story, ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6182443 Ramsay Snow gets his ass killed by Lady Death.]]''

A side series, ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/series/445750 Two Badasses in Essos]]'' chronicles "Mad Jack" Churchill and Milunka Savić as they join and begin reforming the Dothraki horde for Viserys Targaryen, while [[spoiler:[[UsefulNotes/NaziGermany Reinhard Heydrich]]]] installs a fascist state in Qarth.

* BoomHeadshot: Simo Häyhä's preferred killing method. [[spoiler:It fells the Mountain, among many others.]]

* CosmicChessGame: The [[TheGrimReaper Swan of]] [[Literature/TheKalevala Tuonela]] admits to Häyhä the Badasses entered Westeros for this reason. He also admits it's mostly for prestige.

** Littlefinger notes something similar in Simo Häyhä.

* FacialHorror: One of Simo Häyhä's most striking features is the fact that the left half of his face is heavily damaged.

** TheLancer: Simo Häyhä.

* FriendlySniper: Three guesses, and the first two don't count. [[spoiler:Simo Häyhä, if you missed the clues.]]
* GenreSavvy: Simo Häyhä dislikes Littlefinger on sight.
* TheGrimReaper: The [[Literature/TheKalevala Swan of Tuonela]] serves this for every Finn. He's pretty annoyed at Häyhä for being the most troublesome soul he's had to deal with. Ever.
* GroinAttack: Simo Häyhä sort-of-accidentally castrates Littlefinger while struggling with him.

* HumbleHero: Audie Murphy and Simo Häyhä, in spades. TruthInTelevision, too.

* InsultOfEndearment: it is obvious that Lyudmila and Audie, even though they call each other "Commie" and "Capitalist degenerate", like each other. Lyudmila also calls Simo "Finnish [[PrecisionFStrike сучий син]]".

* PintSizedPowerhouse: TruthInTelevision. Audie Murphy was 5'6, Simo Häyhä was 5'3. The former ate Nazis for breakfast, and the latter delivered headshots regularly.
* PoirotSpeak: Simo Häyhä.

* RefugeInAudacity: Simo Häyhä singing the Finnish anthem [[BoomHeadshot while doing what he does best]] on [[spoiler:the Mountain and his men]].

* SelfImposedChallenge: How many times can you insult one of the most powerful men in Westeros without getting caught? That's what Simo Häyhä intends to find out.

* SniperDuel: Between Simo Häyhä and Lyudmila Pavlichenko. Simo wins by keeping her busy until his allies can sneak up on her and subdue her.

** Jaime Lannister scoffs at the idea that Simo Häyhä is as good as the Winterfell men claim. He is dumbfounded when he sees that not only were they selling the guy short, but Simo acts as it were unimportant.
** From the side-story in Essos, Milunka Savić finds herself slightly in over her head when she accepts a trial by combat, expecting an easy win, only to find her opponent to be a mountain of a man with a lifetime of knife-fight victories [[CoveredInScars over his body]]. Luckily, a noble with [[TooDumbToLive more balls than brains]] leaves the outcome between the two of them unresolved.

* WrongGenreSavvy: Littlefinger thought he would be able to bribe Simo Häyhä.

When noted badass Creator/AudieMurphy fell asleep during a showing of ''To Hell and Back'', he certainly didn't expect to wake in the middle of an incredibly cold land, next to fellow badasses [[UsefulNotes/SimoHayha Simo "The White Death" Häyhä]] and Aarne "The Terror of Morocco" Juutilainen, much less joining the household of [[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire Eddard Stark, Lord Paramount of the North]].

So far, [=Worffan101=] has provided five parts: ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/5506883 Emme tiedä, missä olemme. Mutta olemme kunnossa sen kanssa!]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/5924698 Emme vielä tiedä, missä olemme, mutta se on kunnossa! Olemme tottuneet siihen nyt.]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6064395 Joffrey Waters menee Seinään!]]'', ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6241303 Seikkailut Joffrey Waters seinällä!]]'' and ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6458587 Tyyntä myrskyn]]'', with a sixth part to come (don't worry, the stories are in English), plus a short story, ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6182443 Ramsay Snow gets his ass killed by Lady Death.]]''

A side series, ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/series/445750 Two Badasses in Essos]]'' chronicles "Mad Jack" Churchill and Milunka Savić as they join and begin reforming the Dothraki horde for Viserys Targaryen, while [[spoiler:[[UsefulNotes/NaziGermany Reinhard Heydrich]]]] installs a fascist state in Qarth.

* BoomHeadshot: Simo Häyhä's preferred killing method. [[spoiler:It fells the Mountain, among many others.]]

* CosmicChessGame: The [[TheGrimReaper Swan of]] [[Literature/TheKalevala Tuonela]] admits to Häyhä the Badasses entered Westeros for this reason. He also admits it's mostly for prestige.

** Littlefinger notes something similar in Simo Häyhä.

* FacialHorror: One of Simo Häyhä's most striking features is the fact that the left half of his face is heavily damaged.

** TheLancer: Simo Häyhä.

* FriendlySniper: Three guesses, and the first two don't count. [[spoiler:Simo Häyhä, if you missed the clues.]]
* GenreSavvy: Simo Häyhä dislikes Littlefinger on sight.
* TheGrimReaper: The [[Literature/TheKalevala Swan of Tuonela]] serves this for every Finn. He's pretty annoyed at Häyhä for being the most troublesome soul he's had to deal with. Ever.
* GroinAttack: Simo Häyhä sort-of-accidentally castrates Littlefinger while struggling with him.

* HumbleHero: Audie Murphy and Simo Häyhä, in spades. TruthInTelevision, too.

* InsultOfEndearment: it is obvious that Lyudmila and Audie, even though they call each other "Commie" and "Capitalist degenerate", like each other. Lyudmila also calls Simo "Finnish [[PrecisionFStrike сучий син]]".

* PintSizedPowerhouse: TruthInTelevision. Audie Murphy was 5'6, Simo Häyhä was 5'3. The former ate Nazis for breakfast, and the latter delivered headshots regularly.
* PoirotSpeak: Simo Häyhä.

* RefugeInAudacity: Simo Häyhä singing the Finnish anthem [[BoomHeadshot while doing what he does best]] on [[spoiler:the Mountain and his men]].

* SelfImposedChallenge: How many times can you insult one of the most powerful men in Westeros without getting caught? That's what Simo Häyhä intends to find out.

* SniperDuel: Between Simo Häyhä and Lyudmila Pavlichenko. Simo wins by keeping her busy until his allies can sneak up on her and subdue her.

** Jaime Lannister scoffs at the idea that Simo Häyhä is as good as the Winterfell men claim. He is dumbfounded when he sees that not only were they selling the guy short, but Simo acts as it were unimportant.
** From the side-story in Essos, Milunka Savić finds herself slightly in over her head when she accepts a trial by combat, expecting an easy win, only to find her opponent to be a mountain of a man with a lifetime of knife-fight victories [[CoveredInScars over his body]]. Luckily, a noble with [[TooDumbToLive more balls than brains]] leaves the outcome between the two of them unresolved.

* WrongGenreSavvy: Littlefinger thought he would be able to bribe Simo Häyhä.

* ActionGirl: what Eddard plans to turn Sansa into. After all, she will probably need the lessons on self-defense - and of how to use her brains. Aarne begins her training by having her punch through a wood plank.

* DeconstructedTrope: in universe, Eddard does this for Sansa, pointing out that the stories and songs are always missing many things.

* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: well, at least until a fourth Badass appears, Lyudmila Pavlichenko.

* KnowWhenToFoldThem: after Littlefinger reveals the Lannincest, Jaime seems looks ready to fight his way out, but, with the Three Badasses, Robert Baratheon and Eddard Stark in the same room, he decides it is not worth it and confesses in order to get sent to the Wall and save Cersei and the children.

* MegatonPunch: for being way shorter than the mean, Audie Murphy packs quite a punch.

* SniperDuel: Between Simo Häyhä and Lyudmila Pavlichenko.

Contrary to the typical ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'', [=Worffan101=] manages to bring, out of this unlikely crossover, one of the [[CrowningMomentOfFunny funniest]] pieces in fanfic history, while still retaining the grit that has made the book series so much of an impact.

** Being Finnish, both Aarne and Simo like using their language. Simo, for example, [[CrowningMomentOfFunny takes the quest to insult Littlefinger as much as possible without getting caught]].

* MemeticBadass: InUniverse, the Badasses, particularly Murphy. As Lyudmila puts it, he is not a mortal man. [[WordOfGod The author]] explicitly claims he is/was an avatar of [[VideoGame/GodOfWar Kratos]].

** TheLancer: Simo Häyh&auml.

** From the side-story in Essos, Milunka Savi&#263 finds herself slightly in over her head when she accepts a trial by combat, expecting an easy win, only to find her opponent to be a mountain of a man with a lifetime of knife-fight victories [[CoveredInScars over his body]]. Luckily, a noble with [[TooDumbToLive more balls than brains]] leaves the outcome between the two of them unresolved.

** And of course Lyudmila Pavlichenko, AKA, Lady Death

* BerserkButton: Simo has a big one: harming a dog - he was a dog breeder in RealLife. For Audie, that and harming women.

* HumbleHero: Audie Murphy and Simo Häyhä, in spades. TruthInTelevision, too.

* RealityEnsues: No matter how good a sniper you are, fighting a guy that towers and outweighs you isn't likely to come out well. [[spoiler:Fortunately, Simo will recover to learn the lesson.]]

* SideBet: Lots going on at the Wall. [[ButtMonkey Joffrey]] has a standing one on himself, over how long he will survive.

* ShoutOut: In part 4, Tyrion aska a man dressed in Arryn tabards [[Film/ANewHope "Aren't you a little short for a guardsman?"]]. Of course, it is someone (Audie Murphy) that has come to rescue him and Catelyn.

* UnderestimatingBadassery: Jaime Lannister scoffs at the idea that Simo Häyhä is as good as the Winterfell men claim. He is dumbfounded when he sees that not only were they selling the guy short, but Simo acts as it were unimportant.

* StatingTheSimpleSolution: When Tywin threatens to go to war against the Vale after Lysa Arryn kidnapped Tyrion (and Catelyn) and Ned is actually willing to support him, it is ''Robert'' that has to come up with the far less costly (and smarter) idea of sending the Badasses (minus Aarne, plus Sandor) to rescue them.