History Characters / AwfulHospital

The following is a list of characters appearing in the ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' webcomic, which is part of the larger ''Noisy Tenant'' fictional universe, split apart into different sub-pages due to its ridiculous cast size. '''Beware of spoilers!'''

The following is a list of characters appearing in the ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' webcomic, which is part of the larger ''Noisy Tenant'' fictional universe, split apart into different sub-pages due to its [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters ridiculous cast size.]] '''Beware of spoilers!'''

[[/index]]

The following is a list of characters appearing in the ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' webcomic, which is part of the larger Noisy Tenant fictional universe, split apart into different sub-pages due to its [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters ridiculous cast size.]] '''Beware of spoilers!'''

* [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheHospitalPatients The Hospital Patients]]

The following is a list of characters appearing in the ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' webcomic, which is part of the larger Noisy Tenant fictional universe, split apart into different sub-pages due to its [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters ridiculous cast size.]]

* [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheMotherAndHerSon The Mother And Her Son]]
* [[Characters/AwfulHospitalCompanionsOfTheMother Companions Of The Mother]]

The following is a list of characters appearing in the ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' webcomic, which is part of the larger Noisy Tenant fictional universe.

* [[Characters/AwfulHospitalTheParliament The Parliament]]

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Unaffiliated Entities]]

!!Ms. Kidney Stone

[[quoteright:348:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bigolpissrock_5005.png]]
[[caption-width-right:348:All her dreams of seeing them grow even taller than herself… CRUSHED.]]

--> '''Kidney''': MY BABIES. ''MY BABIES.'' '''YOU DID THIS. MURDERER.'''

The massive broodmother of the the kidney stones afflicting Nobody Nose. [[spoiler:Once Nobody's infestation is "cured", she goes berserk, threatening to kill Nobody, Mrs. Green, and her son.]]
----
* BossBattle: The battle music straight from Final Fantasy ought to be a good tip-off.
* ADogNamedDog: According to her [[AllThereInTheManual medical]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-stone.png file,]] her forename is 'Kidney.' Her surname is 'Stone.'
* EyeScream: Her death.
* GoForTheEye
* MonsterIsAMommy
* PrepareToDie: A good percentage of Ms. Stone's dialogue amounts to this… all heavy on the vitriol.
--> '''Kidney''': I'LL STRING YOUR INTESTINES THROUGH YOUR EVERY VILE CAVITY.
* SinsOfOurFathers: Mother Pissrock makes it plain she intends to enact this on Ms. Green's son.
--> '''Mother Pissrock''': I KNOW PRECISELY WHERE YOUR MEATLET IS, FLESHBEAST. YOU WON'T BE SEEING IT AGAIN. ...BECAUSE I AM GOING TO PLUCK OUT YOUR SIGHT-BALLS AND TWIST OFF YOUR BRANCHES BEFORE MY LITTLE ONES DRAG IT HERE AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ITS PATHETIC LITTLE SQUEALS AS A BILLION BROODS RIP IT INSIDE OUT A BILLION TIMES BEFORE I LET IT DIE.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Cola and potato chips.
* WeaponizedOffspring: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/063 Sends swarms of her kidney stone kids]] to attack Ms. Green.

!!X-ray Skeleton

[[quoteright:346:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/x-rayskeleton_2621.png]]
[[caption-width-right:346:Tee hee! Watch this, folks!]]

--> You have no idea what happened this time...one minute you were looking at your x-ray, and the next you were here.

A cartoonish animated x-ray print of our heroine's skeleton, [[spoiler:which promptly killed her a second time. She's currently dating The Bloodstain.]]
----
* BewareTheSillyOnes
* DemBones: Well, she's not Ms. Green's ''actual'' skeleton!
* EvilTwin
* NeckSnap
* SelfMadeOrphan: Well, considering that the X-Ray was 'born' from Ms. Green when she went and X-rayed herself...
* SilentAntagonist: Never says one word.
* SmallRoleBigImpact: Appears in a grand total of two pages within the webcomic proper. Her actions serve as the direct catalyst for the extremely lengthy 'Inert Vessel' story arc.
* VillainessesWantHeroes: Dating the Bloodstain, who saved the woman she killed.

!!Ora the Flesh Door

[[quoteright:293:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ora_1201.png]]
[[caption-width-right:293:Insert meat to enter.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': Yes, hello, mouth thing. What do you want.
--> '''Ora''': Hungry.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Of course you are. I suppose you want me to come inside.
--> '''Ora''': Well...there's probably some pretty good stuff in here.

''Another'' talking door, of the fleshy variety. Ora just ''loves'' to dine on sloppy joes, [[spoiler:though she is not adverse to eating grey-zoners either.]]
----
* BigDumbBody: Ora's relationship with Lexis.
* DoorOfDoom: Just LOOK at her.
* MeatMoss: Ora's interior. It looks like it had been a normal room, once upon a time.
* NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/195 Some third party didn't appreciate Ora's betrayal of Ms. Green.]]
* PickyPeopleEater: Has a predilection for the sloppy joes from the hospital cafeteria.
* PunnyName: 'Ora' as in 'oral cavity.'
* SchmuckBait: Gosh, it's such a shame that Ms. Green [[TrapIsTheOnlyOption needs to explore the morgue,]] considering [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/106 where its key is located.]]
* SwallowedWhole: Ora doesn't chew.

!!Lexis

[[quoteright:204:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lexis_7230.png]]
[[caption-width-right:204:Ora eats for two.]]

--> '''Lexis''': ...I know you're gonna need this nice shiny key if you ever wanna see that kid of yours.

A superficially 'pleasant' tapeworm-person residing on the other side of Ora. She'll nonchalantly provide some exposition [[spoiler:while waiting for you to soupefy.]]
----
* BitchInSheepsClothing: At first, she seems affable enough, for a Hospital denizen. But the longer Lexis talks, the clearer it is how [[LackOfEmpathy snidely contemptuous she is of everyone else.]]
--> '''Mrs. Green''': You know, funny thing...Ora said she had no idea what you were.
--> '''Lexis:''' Well, her brain's not what it used to be, not that it was ever stellar...she can't even remember she has a name half the time. About all she used to remember was the cafeteria food, before somebody hilariously trashed the place. It was all she ever talked about. "Lexis, will it ever be Sloppy Joe day again?" .... ''"Mysterious voice with no name I'm aware of, do you think they're having sloppy joes right now?" ...."Mom, where are my legs?"''....haha, what a '''big dummy!'''
* HumansAreMorons: Lexis doesn't think much of the human capacity to fathom the local jargon.
--> '''Ms. Green''': WHAT'S a greyzoner? What's a zone?!
--> '''Lexis''': Oh, that's easy, just describe what an internet meme is to a shoebox full of moths that can only hear nouns and you'll probably come up with an analogy that's at least ''ironically'' wrong.
* IHaveMyWays: Lexis knows an awful lot about the goings-on within the Hospital, for a parasite hooked inside Ora's stomach.
--> '''Lexis''': You shoulda seen the look on your face when [[spoiler: the Barbeque kicked you in the keister.]]
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...How the hell did you even see that? And why do you remember it if your...friend...doesn't?
--> '''Lexis''': Oh, I remember all ''kinds'' of things I shouldn't. Heck, one of the few things I don't know is how I know so much.
* ImAHumanitarian: Makes absolutely no secret of the fact that she looks forward to ingesting Ms. Green, once Ora's stomach acids flood the room and her body is 'soupefied.'
* NeverFoundTheBody: While Ora ends up very definitely 'out of commission,' we don't see what befell Lexis, since she disappeared.
* TheNicknamer: 'Meatycakes,' and most tellingly, 'soupstuff.'
* PunnyName: Lexis' name is derived from 'scolex,' which are the suckers and hooks a tapeworm uses to attack itself to its host.
* TheSymbiote: A parasitic symbiote, naturally enough, since she's basically an anthropomorphic tapeworm.
* YouAreTooLate: Upon finding herself trapped in Ora's interior, Ms. Green's first action is to pump Lexis for all the information she can. Lexis is all too happy to cooperate. When Ms. Green's finished, and she turns her attention to escaping Ora… '''that's''' when Lexis informs the human of the paralyzing nerve toxin her body's been absorbing this whole while.


!! The Glumdroodler

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/reverbchuck14.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:How'd its pink bow stay so pristine down in there?!]]

--> '''BBQ Girll''': Get ready, dadmiser! It's a ripe one!

Because this thing had jammed itself in their meat grinder, the culinary staff of Burgrr, Inc. had no way of making the sloppy joe which Ms. Green so desperately needed at the time. Once Ms. Green had collected the items needed to get it to emerge, she then had to fight this creature to the death alongside BBQ Girll and Harmburger.

----

* BigNo: Appropriately hammy, for a thing that'd lodged itself in a meat grinder.
--> '''Glumdroodler''': TUBE THOUGHT?! NOOOOOO!!!
* CutsceneBoss: Ms. Green's clash against this thing made for an impressive battle. But since Ms. Green wasn't on speaking terms with the Commentators at the time, they had no input in the fight.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: Right after the Glumdroodler was vanquished, BBQ Girll joyfully informed Ms. Green that this now freed them up to abduct humans from her world as a meat source. But since she was speaking in her usual technobabble, it all went over the woman's head.
--> '''BBQ Girll''': We thought we might have to delay our next [[HumanResources grey-harvest,]] but you delayered that 'droodler like it was just a '''nagvolem!'''
* NonStandardCharacterDesign: It's a... photograph? Photoshopped?
* OurMonstersAreWeird: We challenge '''you''', dear reader, to describe this creature.
* WeaksauceWeakness: Its enemies thinking about tubes serves as the final nail in its proverbial coffin.


!! The Magboils


[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/marrownw.png]]


--> '''Magboil''': FOR A HARMED WAY!!! BE GUSHES A SECRET FIND!!?

Pallid, skeletal, naked creatures with eyes full of maggots, and meandering, empty existences. Miss Green first encounters a talking one outside the 'final dungeon' of the Inert Vessel, though she cannot make sense of what it's saying. Her companions encourage her to ignore it, though Maggie insists its presence signifies a 'zonal bleed.'

----
* TheCassandra: Assuming the first Magboil was indeed a MadOracle, like the Commentators guessed… it was treated in classic 'Cassandra' style, with Ms. Green's companions immediately urging her to pay the poor thing no mind.
* CanonWelding: Magboils were first featured as characters in [[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Burgrr_Entries Burger Entries,]] a creepypasta story Bogleech wrote before ''Awful Hospital,'' along with all the most iconic employees of Burgrr, Inc.
* CrazyConsumption: They seem to 'eat' by sticking bits of carrion into their eyeballs. Where their maggots are.
* EarlyBirdCameo: Magboil heads were available as [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/121.html menu item]] which Harmburger was willing to serve up when Ms. Green paid the cafeteria a visit. She also used a dead one to defend herself against an [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/080.html attacking bloodbag.]]
* IntentionalEngrishForFunny: The way they talk, based on the not so intentional engrish on the toys that inspired them.
* MadOracle: The first one to appear was immediately suspected of being this by several of The Commentators, who immediately set about to decrypt its quasi-English ramblings.
* TheWatcher: So far, they've just been observing Ms. Green and her companions from nearby. While mutteringly psychically.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Parliament]]

!! The Parliament

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/theparliament.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[spoiler: Family 2]]]]

--> '''Picture Book''': THINGS KEPT FLAGRANTLY '''EXISTING''' and REMORSELESSLY '''NOT BEING''' THE CAKE, ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POOR CAKE'S '''PRECIOUS, VIRGINAL EYES.''' EVERYTHING BECAME [[RuinedForever RUINED AND DISGUSTING]] FOREVER. Soon, all that remained of the cake were a few small crumbs. But the crumbs… '''remembered.'''

A bunch of twisted, gnarled, [[SinisterGeometry sinister alien]] [[TheMonolith stalagmite-like monoliths]] that exist... somewhere. Long ago, they used to be the crumbs of a primordial being.

* AbsoluteXenophobe: In the storybook, the cake was highly distressed and offended by everything that wasn't itself. Probably didn't help that all those non-cake things [[ProperlyParanoid were out to eat it, though.]] The Parliament feels the same hatred towards everything else.
* AllThereInTheManual: How we know they're called [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/theparliament.png 'The Parliament.']]
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: While the Parliament themselves are all stony grays and browns you'd expect of stalagmites, there is a specific shade of red that's come to be associated with them; a red-tinted picture of [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything bacteria under a microscope.]] It's first seen in the sky within the image being used for Redbert, just below.
* ConnectedAllAlong: The first time we see The Parliament, it looks like they might be some disconnected bit of quick, random spookiness, à la [[WesternAnimation/HalloweenIsGrinchNight everything in the Grinch's Paraphernalia Wagon.]] Nope.
* FromNobodyToNightmare: If we take the storybook at face value, The Parliament originated from the crumbs of a ''sapient birthday cake.'' A cake that wouldn't have looked out of place next to [[Franchise/HelloKitty Hello Kitty.]]
* OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: All we know with absolute certainty about the Parliament is that they're a malicious bunch.
* ThePowerOfHate: The primordial being/"Birthday Cake" was reduced to crumbs in a state of hatred. Somehow, those crumbs grew upwards into ominous stalagmite-like formations, remembering that hatred.
* SecretOtherFamily: Every page in ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' isn't just numbered, but cleverly titled as well. The Parliament's debut comes on page #184, with them looming over the crib of Ms. Green's baby. [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/archive.html Scroll down the webcomic's archive and see for yourself]] what #184's been titled.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: The first snatch of concrete information about The Parliament comes in the form of an 11-page children's picture book Ms. Green buys in an item shop. A picture book whose publisher chose to hire the same bookbinder that made [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/necronomicon_5873.jpg the Necronomicon]]... with humanoid facial flesh peering out from the [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/bookspooky.png front cover.]] It was also originally chained up, and is known to have funny mental effects on its readers.

!! Redbert

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-11.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One of these things is not like the others.]]

--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green's Son''': hole frend]]

An enormous red worm that seems to be specifically affiliated with The Parliament.

* AllThereInTheManual: As with The Parliament, itself, this is how [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/redbert.gif we know Redbert's name.]]
* BigCreepyCrawlies: He's a large worm that resembles a frog's tongue.
* MeaningfulName: Redbert's red.
* SilentAntagonist
* TokenEnemyMinority: The one known non-stalagmite within the Parliament's ranks.
* WallMaster: First show coming into the gray zone through some kind of hole [[spoiler: in the ceiling over Ms. Green's son's crib.]]

!! The Birthday Cake

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-1.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:…And there was NEVER EVER anything else. Everything was just fine.]]

--> '''Picture Book''': The Cake enjoyed being the ONLY THING there EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Until, without warning, it began to feel UNWELL. As the innocent, sweet cake grew increasingly ILL, things began being that were '''NOT CAKE.'''

A character seen only in a picture book, but one that hints to major backstory. A primordial being that existed in itself before the Zones came to be and it slowly deteriorated into what is now the Parliament. It's unclear if it was an ''actual'' cake or if it's just allegorical though.

* BlueAndOrangeMorality: It wasn't able to comprehend that something other than itself may exist, and felt such an intense hatred of the Zones because of this that its remains became the Parliament, running purely on ThePowerOfHate.
* EldritchAbomination: If it's not literally cake, than it's surely this. Probably it's this even if it ''is'' cake.
* EmphasizeEverything: The author of the Birthday Cake's story does this to convey QUITE a BIT of the Cake's ''INTENSE, HIGH-STRUNG EMOTION'' and '''DEEP, ABIDING RESENTMENT AT ALL THE UNFAIRNESS IT SUFFERED''' in the tale's written prose, combined liberally with '''RainbowText.'''
* TheHermit: The first thing we learn about the Birthday Cake is how perfectly happy it was in nothingness and solitude.
* ItsAllAboutMe: It was quite a narcissistic little dessert.
* MakeThemRot: Like any normal real-life cake that's left uneaten for too long… cultures of microorganisms eventually settled upon the Birthday Cake, and it decayed completely as nature took its course.
* StartOfDarkness: Its whole story.

!! The Dolphin(s?)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dreamwake.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Ms. Green snaps awake from a nightmare of dark evildoers of great and terrible porpoise.]]

--> '''Dolphin''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/hellofremb.html HELLO FREMB.]]

Shortly after they'd read through the storybook on the Parliament's origins, Ms. Green and Maggie both fell fast asleep. Ms. Green then proceeded to have a series of dreams about "many things [she'd] seen and some things that [she] hasn't." Culminating in one particularly frightful monster that definitely fell into the latter category. A monster that addressed her as 'Fremb.' It wouldn't be all that long before they began appearing in the waking world... Apparently sent by the Parliament to find the Exvironator.

* AnimalisticAbomination
* AuthorAppeal: ''Inverted completely.'' Bogleech has '''never''' had anything nice to say about either the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oceanic_dolphin Delphinidae]] or [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porpoise Phocoenidae]] families, and he's a guy who'll defend cockroaches and spiders as 'misunderstood creatures.'
--> [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/dolfury.htm "People should be more afraid of dolphins than of sharks by far."]]
** In fact, it's worth looking into the descriptions of dolphin-based TabletopGame/{{Mortasheen}} monsters to demonstrate the depths of his dolphin disdain…
--> '''Narwight''': As one of the stronger and more intelligent vampires, [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/narwight.htm Narwights]] attempt to exert dominance over other sea beasts and are fierce rivals of shark-based vampires.
--> '''Cacchinnox''': Almost rivaling the destructive power of the Harlequeen, [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/cacchinnox.htm the Cacchinnox]] is aberrant even by Joker standards; no less playful and anarchic, but crueler, more bloodthirsty. Whether friend or foe, its every action carries some element of malice, its sense of humor more focused on inflicting as much physical harm and emotional torture as it possibly can.
--> '''Dolfury''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/dolfury.htm The Dolfuries]] quickly proved the greatest danger to their own wards, submitting to [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil dark temptations]] even their vampiric creator found [[EvenEvilHasStandards unacceptably abusive.]] As the grotesque incidents [[SerialRapist grew more frequent]] and the [[LameExcuse transparent excuses]] more absurd, their mistress took increasingly extreme disciplinary measures which only seemed to [[TooKinkyToTorture excite the twisted mutants even further]]… Though mentally and biologically unstable, these half-dolphin sadists are as tenacious as they are destructive, [[AnythingThatMoves defiling cetaceans and humanoids]] alike with their deadly parasitoid reproductive habits and easily adapting to extremes of temperature and pollution. They are popularly regarded as [[AlwaysChaoticEvil one of the only truly "evil" monsters ever created,]] and many attempts have been made to annihilate them.
* AxCrazy: Wherever Dolphins swim, slaughter follows.
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: The first time a dolphin appears, there a certain familiar splotchy red pattern around its body, hinting as to which group its affiliated with.
* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: Dolphins' primary weapons seem to be their muzzles. They'll jab them straight through their enemies as though their bottleneck snouts were every bit as sharp as the 'swords' of swordfish. Corpses they leave behind tend to look as though they've been riddled with high-caliber bullets.
* DesecratingTheDead: See for yourself: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/378.html before]] and [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/381.html after.]]
* DreamSpying: A dolphin first appears to Ms. Green in her dreams, letting her know that [[BigBrotherIsWatching Big Flipper is watching.]]
* EyeScream: Gouged-out eye sockets are a signature move of theirs.
* FlyingSeafoodSpecial: Avoiding bodies of water is a worthless tactic. These dolphins can swim through the air too.
* FriendlyPlayfulDolphin: The form of 'playfulness' these dolphins have in mind for their [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent 'frembs']] is probably the stuff of nightmares.
* HeroicDolphin: '''These''' dolphins don't just [[InvertedTrope flip this old trope on its head.]] They [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piledriver_(professional_wrestling) piledrive]] it straight through the floor.
* OutsideContextVillain: WHY dolphins?! Ms. Green was inside a morgue when it first made its appearance! Not an aquarium and not the ocean!
* SapientCetaceans: Their sapience makes them all the more dangerous, though.
* StrangeMindsThinkAlike: The Dolphins actually aren't the first characters to use the appellation [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogburger.html 'fremb.']]
* SuperSpeed: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJCvRfkHppg "Faster than lightning,"]] ''[[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/377.html indeed.]]''
* SuperStrength: Dolphins can ram themselves through metal walls, and decimate enemies by piecing straight through them like a living, airborne jousting lance.
* TheDreaded: Dr. Balmer has decapitating robots on standby in the event of a dolphin appearance.
* VillainousRescue: One dolphin's appearance in Balmer's facility ultimately serves to rescue Ms. Green from having her organs sold.
* WouldHurtAChild: As ludicrously superpowered as dolphins are in this setting, Bogleech [[IAmNotMakingThisUpDisclaimer let his audience know]] about one little-known yet horrific fact about RealLife dolphins which his own cetaceans would also be demonstrating. Namely; dolphins are naturally predisposed to kill any infants they happen across '''on sight,''' just as most humans would kill spiders.
--> '''Bogleech''': [[http://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/129989536058/for-the-record-while-dolphins-in-the-real-world Dolphins ARE a whole lot more infanticidal]] than the average animal, though, and slaughter other, smaller dolphin species because they trigger the same baby-killing instinct. This is especially true for pygmy whales, whose corpses often wash ashore covered in dolphin bruises. Dolphins, from their perspective, literally run across mysterious pods of babies out in the middle of nowhere and think “welp, these gotta go.”
** This will surely put Ms. Green at very strict cross-purposes with all dolphin-kind.

!! Immense Thing

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eatingyou_thing.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Look upon me and despair.]]

--> '''Maggie''': Our dear friend is in danger!

When Ms. Green and her companions blew up the polyp, they ventured forth to see what it had blocked. Ms. Green's three inhuman companions looked upon what lay on the other side, and declared it to be an exquisitely sumptuous feast. Miss Green rather disagreed. But when the poor woman fled the 'banquet' and her feasting friends, this thing intercepted her.

* AbnormalAmmo: This hairy abomination fires hairballs from itself like cannonballs.
* AllThereInTheManual: Its [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/eatingyou-thing.png image file]] refers to it as a 'thing.'
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: Brought to you in Parliament Red!
* DiscOneFinalBoss: The Immense Thing is the most daunting foe that Team Green battles in the Inert Vessel.
* EyeScream: When Maggie uses "Flytning Bolt" on its eyeball.
* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: How did this tentacular titan manage to sneak up on Team Green?! Especially after they had explored literally '''every''' nook and cranny of the Marrow Dungeon beforehand! In-story, it's acknowledged that this creature is not a natural denizen of this environment:
--> '''Staph''': ...this thing...it's like nothing I've ever smelled...
--> '''Maggie''': Sure ain't of the surroundin' tissue, that's fer sure.
* HalfTheManHeUsedToBe: Staphellie doesn't ''quite'' manage a complete vertical bisection of the Immense Thing. But she comes pretty close, and it's sufficient to end its life.
* HellIsThatNoise: In place of BossBanter, the Immense Thing spews out all sorts of nonsensical babble.
--> '''??????''': SHHHUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFPP! HWUH HWUH HWUH.
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: See that green speck on the end of its [[CombatTentacles tentacle?]] It's [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/eatingyou-tuckered.png not a booger.]]
* KillItWithFire: Has a weakness to Maggie's 'Flyerballs.' And Molotov cocktails.
* MyNameIsQuestionMarks: In-story. The Commentators ended up coming up with the [[FanNickname nickname]] of 'Terrortoma.'
* NamesTheSame: Well... the FanNickname of [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/terrortoma.htm 'Terrortoma']] happens to be the same as a [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen.htm Mortasheen]] monster Bogleech had conceptualized at an earlier point in time.
* NonStandardCharacterDesign: Because it was drawn by Bogleech's wife Margaret. The effect adds to the Immense Thing's alien, out-of-place wrongness.
* ObviouslyEvil: Between the hellscape of bloody skulls, its [[SinisterSilhouettes sinister silhouette]], and [[EstablishingCharacterMoment what it does to Green]]… what more evidence do you need of its malice?
* SpikesOfDoom: To the point where its lower portion practically resembles a bramble bush, in silhouette.
* WhipItGood: It can use ''its own nerves'' to lash its foes! Though this particular attack is a [[RealityEnsues double-edged sword.]]
--> ''????????? SUFFERS RECOIL DAMAGE! That's what you get for hitting things with your own nerves!''

!! Balphin (Ascended Balmer)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ascendedbalmer.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One-Winged Freakshow]]

--> '''Balphin''': I'LL EAT THIS WORLD MYSELF! I'LL EAT...'''EVERYTHING.'''

Balmer's seizure of the anomalous 'exvironator' went off without a hitch. He had the anomaly. He had Ms. Green in a cage; his to sell to whomever he pleased. Balmer had still made one grave error: he'd failed to properly dolphin-proof his headquarters. And wouldn't you know it: a dolphin chose that very moment to crash his party and massacre everyone; skewering Balmer with his own cetacean body like a jousting lance through a knight. Except that the exvironator (which the dolphin had ''also'' been after all along) then fell into the deep pool of embalming fluid [[NoOSHACompliance in the middle of the floor.]]

Not ever bothering to shake free of Balmer's body, the Dolphin dove right after the anomaly. Minutes later... a new lifeform surfaced up from the pool; an abysmally mutated mélange of the Dolphin, Dr. Balmer, and the cancer-generating exvironator they both had sought.

* AbnormalAmmo: One of his new weapons is a "Carcino-Ray." As in; a gun that ''shoots cancer.''
* BodyHorror: According to WordOfGod they were literally melted together.
* CutsceneBoss: After they have Ascended, Celia, Staph, and Maggie vanquish Balphin without needing The Commentators' guidance.
* FusionDance: Balmer and the Dolphin were effectively cooked together into this new being, in a vat of chemicals and carcinoma.
* GivenNameReveal: ''He's'' the guy who first speaks Fern's name.
* HandWave
--> '''Commentator''': Where did it get that wing from?
--> '''Bogleech''': Mutated dolphin flesh.
* HopelessBossFight: Celia ranks Balphin at level 9,999. Considering it's just a twenty-sided tabletop dice Bogleech throws on his heroine's behalf... Ms. Green never had a chance of scratching him.
* MentalFusion: Of the three 'source materials,' Balmer seems to have won out as the 'dominant' ego. Yet the dolphin's bloodlust and the cancer's voracity have drastically interwoven themselves into his personality.
* OneWingedAngel: The fact that it ''has'' that one feathered wing is Bogleech's way of parodying this very trope, especially with regards to [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Sephiroth]].
--> '''Bogleech''': The reason it has a bird wing is strictly because of the RPG trope where the final villain's ultimate form has angel-like properties, which began long before Sephiroth but was especially popularized by Sephiroth's "one winged angel" silliness.
* PlanetEater: As an EstablishingCharacterMoment, he ''did'' come out declaring that he'd 'eat this world myself.' Which is to say, the cadaver of the Ms. Green clone whose neck got snapped by a skeleton.
** Or rather, the actual ''world'' which is an anthropomorphic 'adaption' of what's happening to that cadaver on a microscopic level. Remember; Green never truly ''shrank.'' Her companions and all the other "microfauna" are human-sized.
** Possibly Balphin would be affecting both at once, via some interdimensional {{Synchronization}}?
* ShockAndAwe: Gee, that's quite a bit of electricity sparking on that thing's metal ends!
* WeaponizedOffspring: One of his attacks is 'Foetal Flurry', which is pretty much what it sounds like.
* WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity: Before his 'ascension,' Balmer had been a perfectly civilized, (albeit villainous) entrepreneurial mortician. Afterward, his thoughts were singularly consumed with consuming.

[[folder: Unaffiliated Entities]]

!!Ms. Kidney Stone

[[quoteright:348:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bigolpissrock_5005.png]]
[[caption-width-right:348:All her dreams of seeing them grow even taller than herself… CRUSHED.]]

--> '''Kidney''': MY BABIES. ''MY BABIES.'' '''YOU DID THIS. MURDERER.'''

The massive broodmother of the the kidney stones afflicting Nobody Nose. [[spoiler:Once Nobody's infestation is "cured", she goes berserk, threatening to kill Nobody, Mrs. Green, and her son.]]
----
* BossBattle: The battle music straight from Final Fantasy ought to be a good tip-off.
* ADogNamedDog: According to her [[AllThereInTheManual medical]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-stone.png file,]] her forename is 'Kidney.' Her surname is 'Stone.'
* EyeScream: Her death.
* GoForTheEye
* MonsterIsAMommy
* PrepareToDie: A good percentage of Ms. Stone's dialogue amounts to this… all heavy on the vitriol.
--> '''Kidney''': I'LL STRING YOUR INTESTINES THROUGH YOUR EVERY VILE CAVITY.
* SinsOfOurFathers: Mother Pissrock makes it plain she intends to enact this on Ms. Green's son.
--> '''Mother Pissrock''': I KNOW PRECISELY WHERE YOUR MEATLET IS, FLESHBEAST. YOU WON'T BE SEEING IT AGAIN. ...BECAUSE I AM GOING TO PLUCK OUT YOUR SIGHT-BALLS AND TWIST OFF YOUR BRANCHES BEFORE MY LITTLE ONES DRAG IT HERE AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ITS PATHETIC LITTLE SQUEALS AS A BILLION BROODS RIP IT INSIDE OUT A BILLION TIMES BEFORE I LET IT DIE.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Cola and potato chips.
* WeaponizedOffspring: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/063 Sends swarms of her kidney stone kids]] to attack Ms. Green.

!!X-ray Skeleton

[[quoteright:346:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/x-rayskeleton_2621.png]]
[[caption-width-right:346:Tee hee! Watch this, folks!]]

--> You have no idea what happened this time...one minute you were looking at your x-ray, and the next you were here.

A cartoonish animated x-ray print of our heroine's skeleton, [[spoiler:which promptly killed her a second time. She's currently dating The Bloodstain.]]
----
* BewareTheSillyOnes
* DemBones: Well, she's not Ms. Green's ''actual'' skeleton!
* EvilTwin
* NeckSnap
* SelfMadeOrphan: Well, considering that the X-Ray was 'born' from Ms. Green when she went and X-rayed herself...
* SilentAntagonist: Never says one word.
* SmallRoleBigImpact: Appears in a grand total of two pages within the webcomic proper. Her actions serve as the direct catalyst for the extremely lengthy 'Inert Vessel' story arc.
* VillainessesWantHeroes: Dating the Bloodstain, who saved the woman she killed.

!!Ora the Flesh Door

[[quoteright:293:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ora_1201.png]]
[[caption-width-right:293:Insert meat to enter.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': Yes, hello, mouth thing. What do you want.
--> '''Ora''': Hungry.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Of course you are. I suppose you want me to come inside.
--> '''Ora''': Well...there's probably some pretty good stuff in here.

''Another'' talking door, of the fleshy variety. Ora just ''loves'' to dine on sloppy joes, [[spoiler:though she is not adverse to eating grey-zoners either.]]
----
* BigDumbBody: Ora's relationship with Lexis.
* DoorOfDoom: Just LOOK at her.
* MeatMoss: Ora's interior. It looks like it had been a normal room, once upon a time.
* NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/195 Some third party didn't appreciate Ora's betrayal of Ms. Green.]]
* PickyPeopleEater: Has a predilection for the sloppy joes from the hospital cafeteria.
* PunnyName: 'Ora' as in 'oral cavity.'
* SchmuckBait: Gosh, it's such a shame that Ms. Green [[TrapIsTheOnlyOption needs to explore the morgue,]] considering [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/106 where its key is located.]]
* SwallowedWhole: Ora doesn't chew.

!!Lexis

[[quoteright:204:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lexis_7230.png]]
[[caption-width-right:204:Ora eats for two.]]

--> '''Lexis''': ...I know you're gonna need this nice shiny key if you ever wanna see that kid of yours.

A superficially 'pleasant' tapeworm-person residing on the other side of Ora. She'll nonchalantly provide some exposition [[spoiler:while waiting for you to soupefy.]]
----
* BitchInSheepsClothing: At first, she seems affable enough, for a Hospital denizen. But the longer Lexis talks, the clearer it is how [[LackOfEmpathy snidely contemptuous she is of everyone else.]]
--> '''Mrs. Green''': You know, funny thing...Ora said she had no idea what you were.
--> '''Lexis:''' Well, her brain's not what it used to be, not that it was ever stellar...she can't even remember she has a name half the time. About all she used to remember was the cafeteria food, before somebody hilariously trashed the place. It was all she ever talked about. "Lexis, will it ever be Sloppy Joe day again?" .... ''"Mysterious voice with no name I'm aware of, do you think they're having sloppy joes right now?" ...."Mom, where are my legs?"''....haha, what a '''big dummy!'''
* HumansAreMorons: Lexis doesn't think much of the human capacity to fathom the local jargon.
--> '''Ms. Green''': WHAT'S a greyzoner? What's a zone?!
--> '''Lexis''': Oh, that's easy, just describe what an internet meme is to a shoebox full of moths that can only hear nouns and you'll probably come up with an analogy that's at least ''ironically'' wrong.
* IHaveMyWays: Lexis knows an awful lot about the goings-on within the Hospital, for a parasite hooked inside Ora's stomach.
--> '''Lexis''': You shoulda seen the look on your face when [[spoiler: the Barbeque kicked you in the keister.]]
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...How the hell did you even see that? And why do you remember it if your...friend...doesn't?
--> '''Lexis''': Oh, I remember all ''kinds'' of things I shouldn't. Heck, one of the few things I don't know is how I know so much.
* ImAHumanitarian: Makes absolutely no secret of the fact that she looks forward to ingesting Ms. Green, once Ora's stomach acids flood the room and her body is 'soupefied.'
* NeverFoundTheBody: While Ora ends up very definitely 'out of commission,' we don't see what befell Lexis, since she disappeared.
* TheNicknamer: 'Meatycakes,' and most tellingly, 'soupstuff.'
* PunnyName: Lexis' name is derived from 'scolex,' which are the suckers and hooks a tapeworm uses to attack itself to its host.
* TheSymbiote: A parasitic symbiote, naturally enough, since she's basically an anthropomorphic tapeworm.
* YouAreTooLate: Upon finding herself trapped in Ora's interior, Ms. Green's first action is to pump Lexis for all the information she can. Lexis is all too happy to cooperate. When Ms. Green's finished, and she turns her attention to escaping Ora… '''that's''' when Lexis informs the human of the paralyzing nerve toxin her body's been absorbing this whole while.


!! The Glumdroodler

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/reverbchuck14.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:How'd its pink bow stay so pristine down in there?!]]

--> '''BBQ Girll''': Get ready, dadmiser! It's a ripe one!

Because this thing had jammed itself in their meat grinder, the culinary staff of Burgrr, Inc. had no way of making the sloppy joe which Ms. Green so desperately needed at the time. Once Ms. Green had collected the items needed to get it to emerge, she then had to fight this creature to the death alongside BBQ Girll and Harmburger.

----

* BigNo: Appropriately hammy, for a thing that'd lodged itself in a meat grinder.
--> '''Glumdroodler''': TUBE THOUGHT?! NOOOOOO!!!
* CutsceneBoss: Ms. Green's clash against this thing made for an impressive battle. But since Ms. Green wasn't on speaking terms with the Commentators at the time, they had no input in the fight.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: Right after the Glumdroodler was vanquished, BBQ Girll joyfully informed Ms. Green that this now freed them up to abduct humans from her world as a meat source. But since she was speaking in her usual technobabble, it all went over the woman's head.
--> '''BBQ Girll''': We thought we might have to delay our next [[HumanResources grey-harvest,]] but you delayered that 'droodler like it was just a '''nagvolem!'''
* NonStandardCharacterDesign: It's a... photograph? Photoshopped?
* OurMonstersAreWeird: We challenge '''you''', dear reader, to describe this creature.
* WeaksauceWeakness: Its enemies thinking about tubes serves as the final nail in its proverbial coffin.


!! The Magboils


[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/marrownw.png]]


--> '''Magboil''': FOR A HARMED WAY!!! BE GUSHES A SECRET FIND!!?

Pallid, skeletal, naked creatures with eyes full of maggots, and meandering, empty existences. Miss Green first encounters a talking one outside the 'final dungeon' of the Inert Vessel, though she cannot make sense of what it's saying. Her companions encourage her to ignore it, though Maggie insists its presence signifies a 'zonal bleed.'

----
* TheCassandra: Assuming the first Magboil was indeed a MadOracle, like the Commentators guessed… it was treated in classic 'Cassandra' style, with Ms. Green's companions immediately urging her to pay the poor thing no mind.
* CanonWelding: Magboils were first featured as characters in [[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Burgrr_Entries Burger Entries,]] a creepypasta story Bogleech wrote before ''Awful Hospital,'' along with all the most iconic employees of Burgrr, Inc.
* CrazyConsumption: They seem to 'eat' by sticking bits of carrion into their eyeballs. Where their maggots are.
* EarlyBirdCameo: Magboil heads were available as [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/121.html menu item]] which Harmburger was willing to serve up when Ms. Green paid the cafeteria a visit. She also used a dead one to defend herself against an [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/080.html attacking bloodbag.]]
* IntentionalEngrishForFunny: The way they talk, based on the not so intentional engrish on the toys that inspired them.
* MadOracle: The first one to appear was immediately suspected of being this by several of The Commentators, who immediately set about to decrypt its quasi-English ramblings.
* TheWatcher: So far, they've just been observing Ms. Green and her companions from nearby. While mutteringly psychically.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Worms]]

!! All Worms In General

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/27ad8c83bd15771550bf1d4d1e4beca8.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The Worms Crawl In.]]

--> ''Biovessel exploration date @I*/#*388''
--> ''An interesting characteristic of the Mortizonal vermifauna are the physiological configurations they may assimilate from the fading concept-core of their food source. Anything encountered, believed, or considered by a biovessel during its functional period may influence the form, function, and behavior of worm scavengers as they tunnel in and out of the vessel's residual layers. Unfamiliar as I am with the functional history of Inert sub-concept vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990, I can hardly begin to guess the significance of the vermiform which as of this writing has masticated, digested, and excreted nearly 32% of my own corporeal shell.''

An incalculable legion of worms, who've see fit to wriggle their way from the Morgue into the Inert Vessel, ''en masse,'' with the intent of stuffing their guts. At first, they almost [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/229.html completely ignore]] Ms. Green altogether, but grow [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/337.html increasingly hostile]] towards her and her team as time progresses.

* AuthorAppeal: Bogleech LOVES designing these creatures.
* CastOfSnowflakes: No two are alike.
* FisherKingdom: As stated above, the worms 'assimilate' their 'physiological configurations' from Ms. Green's memories.
* ImAHumanitarian: They've all migrated here, en masse, to consume Green's corpse. Several of them will attack the small, living Ms. Green as well.
* {{Jerkass}}: Thus far, the nicest worms have been ones that ignore Ms. Green completely.
* MonstrousCannibalism: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/260.html Worms]] have been observed eating [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/261.html other worms.]]
* SeriousBusiness: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinochle Pinochle.]] They are mad about it to the point where they're willing to use a pinochle game to [[DuelsDecideEverything permanently determine]] who is predator and who is prey across all the multiverse.
--> '''Referee Worm''': THE LOSING PARTY SHALL BE HONORED VIA CONSUMPTION BY THE WINNING PARTY ACROSS ALL EXISTING AND POTENTIAL ITERATIONS OF THE REALITY SPECTRUM.
* TalkingAnimal: Many of them are capable of speaking English. And all of them truly are '''animals.'''
* TheBully: Savagely abusing their intended prey -- physically, emotionally, and verbally -- fills worms with despicable satisfaction.
--> '''Gasworm''': [[{{Jerkass}} OoOOh!]] Touched a nerve, have I?! I thought this tasted like a juicy form!
* YourWorstNightmare: Worms' bodies can physically adapt themselves to become nightmarish, wormy approximations of things an approaching foe dreads most. And they have an uncanny sixth sense of what to ''say'' in their new forms to further distress their foes.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Why did it...say those things...
--> '''Maggie''': Probably manifestated from yer core; cobbled together a bioform from yer experiences n' anxieties.

!!Chest Worm

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/77b97197238edabb4dbd4040011637a0.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:None too genre savvy, are ya?]]

--> '''Chest Worm''': Who would really leave such a beautiful handsome box in a crummy place like this!? I'm gonna eat ya up.

A monstrous worm passing itself off as a treasure chest.

* ChestMonster: Though many of the Commentators suspected he might be this right from the start.
* EvilGloating: Right off the bat, he lets Ms. Green knows he means to [[ImAHumanitarian to devour her.]] As well as gloating in general.
* MilesGloriosus: [[spoiler: The moment he sees Ms. Green brandish an actual weapon at him, Chest Worm loses interest in eating her, and leaves sniffily.]]
* MindReading: It's very possible he's this. How else would he sense that the Commentators were onto him?
--> '''Chest Worm''': (first spoken words) DUMMY! They totally called it!!
** It's later [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/266.html confirmed]] that most worms can perceive "parazonal conceptual feedback", i.e. the voices of the Commentators.
* NonCombatantImmunity: Averted with him. [[spoiler: then [[InvertedTrope inverted]], once Ms. Green acquires the sharpened pipe.]]
* SuddenlyVoiced: He's the very first worm shown to speak.

!! The Moldsucker (Mildred M. Sucker)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/330f621e76d54196131ccb0d4fe83920.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Ferocious fungal focus.]]

--> '''Moldsucker''': Muh-muh-mmuh-mmMMMMOoOoOOoooOOOoOOLLLLLLD!!!

A true behemoth of a worm, moldsuckers have an infamously insatiable hunger for fungisapients, and will hunt them over vast distances. This particular individual - Mildred M. Sucker, was the first Moldsucker encountered by Miss Green and Celia.

* AwakeningTheSleepingGiant
* BigCreepyCrawlies: The most enormous worm Ms. Green has encountered in the Inert Vessel to date.
* GulliverTieDown
* NightmareFace
* PunnyName: 'M. Sucker?'
* KingOfGames: Queen Of Pinochle.
* SingleTargetSexuality: She disregards Ms. Green completely as though she's not even there.
* StalkerWithoutACrush: She's now one to Celia.
* SuperPersistentPredator: According to Celia, Moldsuckers will pursue a fungusapient until one or the other is dead.
* SuperSpeed
--> '''Celia''': A hungry Moldsucker moves like lightning!
* SuperToughness: The inside of her stomach.
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': Can't we just cut our way out? Or use that repellant stu-]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Celia''': No. That thing is easily [[RolePlayingGameTerms AC60.]][[note]]'AC60' means: Armor Class 60. Bogleech rolls with a 20-sided dice, making Mildred's stomach effectively invulnerable.[[/note]]]]
* SwallowedWhole: Her opening move in the Pinochle match.
* UngratefulBastard: Ms. Green convinces Celia not to kill her. Later, she excitedly volunteers to be the worms' representative in their pinochle game against Miss Green and her friends. [[spoiler:Few moments later however, she hurls them back out elsewhere [[IOweYouMyLife in gratitude]] for them not slaying her back when they had the chance]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Parliament]]

!! The Parliament

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/theparliament.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[spoiler: Family 2]]]]

--> '''Picture Book''': THINGS KEPT FLAGRANTLY '''EXISTING''' and REMORSELESSLY '''NOT BEING''' THE CAKE, ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POOR CAKE'S '''PRECIOUS, VIRGINAL EYES.''' EVERYTHING BECAME [[RuinedForever RUINED AND DISGUSTING]] FOREVER. Soon, all that remained of the cake were a few small crumbs. But the crumbs… '''remembered.'''

A bunch of twisted, gnarled, [[SinisterGeometry sinister alien]] [[TheMonolith stalagmite-like monoliths]] that exist... somewhere. Long ago, they used to be the crumbs of a primordial being.

* AbsoluteXenophobe: In the storybook, the cake was highly distressed and offended by everything that wasn't itself. Probably didn't help that all those non-cake things [[ProperlyParanoid were out to eat it, though.]] The Parliament feels the same hatred towards everything else.
* AllThereInTheManual: How we know they're called [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/theparliament.png 'The Parliament.']]
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: While the Parliament themselves are all stony grays and browns you'd expect of stalagmites, there is a specific shade of red that's come to be associated with them; a red-tinted picture of [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything bacteria under a microscope.]] It's first seen in the sky within the image being used for Redbert, just below.
* ConnectedAllAlong: The first time we see The Parliament, it looks like they might be some disconnected bit of quick, random spookiness, à la [[WesternAnimation/HalloweenIsGrinchNight everything in the Grinch's Paraphernalia Wagon.]] Nope.
* FromNobodyToNightmare: If we take the storybook at face value, The Parliament originated from the crumbs of a ''sapient birthday cake.'' A cake that wouldn't have looked out of place next to [[Franchise/HelloKitty Hello Kitty.]]
* OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: All we know with absolute certainty about the Parliament is that they're a malicious bunch.
* ThePowerOfHate: The primordial being/"Birthday Cake" was reduced to crumbs in a state of hatred. Somehow, those crumbs grew upwards into ominous stalagmite-like formations, remembering that hatred.
* SecretOtherFamily: Every page in ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' isn't just numbered, but cleverly titled as well. The Parliament's debut comes on page #184, with them looming over the crib of Ms. Green's baby. [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/archive.html Scroll down the webcomic's archive and see for yourself]] what #184's been titled.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: The first snatch of concrete information about The Parliament comes in the form of an 11-page children's picture book Ms. Green buys in an item shop. A picture book whose publisher chose to hire the same bookbinder that made [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/necronomicon_5873.jpg the Necronomicon]]... with humanoid facial flesh peering out from the [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/bookspooky.png front cover.]] It was also originally chained up, and is known to have funny mental effects on its readers.

!! Redbert

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-11.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One of these things is not like the others.]]

--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green's Son''': hole frend]]

An enormous red worm that seems to be specifically affiliated with The Parliament.
----
* AllThereInTheManual: As with The Parliament, itself, this is how [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/redbert.gif we know Redbert's name.]]
* BigCreepyCrawlies: He's a large worm that resembles a frog's tongue.
* MeaningfulName: Redbert's red.
* SilentAntagonist
* TokenEnemyMinority: The one known non-stalagmite within the Parliament's ranks.
* WallMaster: First show coming into the gray zone through some kind of hole [[spoiler: in the ceiling over Ms. Green's son's crib.]]

!! The Birthday Cake

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-1.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:…And there was NEVER EVER anything else. Everything was just fine.]]

--> '''Picture Book''': The Cake enjoyed being the ONLY THING there EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Until, without warning, it began to feel UNWELL. As the innocent, sweet cake grew increasingly ILL, things began being that were '''NOT CAKE.'''

A character seen only in a picture book, but one that hints to major backstory. A primordial being that existed in itself before the Zones came to be and it slowly deteriorated into what is now the Parliament. It's unclear if it was an ''actual'' cake or if it's just allegorical though.
----
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: It wasn't able to comprehend that something other than itself may exist, and felt such an intense hatred of the Zones because of this that its remains became the Parliament, running purely on ThePowerOfHate.
* EldritchAbomination: If it's not literally cake, than it's surely this. Probably it's this even if it ''is'' cake.
* EmphasizeEverything: The author of the Birthday Cake's story does this to convey QUITE a BIT of the Cake's ''INTENSE, HIGH-STRUNG EMOTION'' and '''DEEP, ABIDING RESENTMENT AT ALL THE UNFAIRNESS IT SUFFERED''' in the tale's written prose, combined liberally with '''RainbowText.'''
* TheHermit: The first thing we learn about the Birthday Cake is how perfectly happy it was in nothingness and solitude.
* ItsAllAboutMe: It was quite a narcissistic little dessert.
* MakeThemRot: Like any normal real-life cake that's left uneaten for too long… cultures of microorganisms eventually settled upon the Birthday Cake, and it decayed completely as nature took its course.
* StartOfDarkness: Its whole story.

!! The Dolphin(s?)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dreamwake.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Ms. Green snaps awake from a nightmare of dark evildoers of great and terrible porpoise.]]

--> '''Dolphin''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/hellofremb.html HELLO FREMB.]]

Shortly after they'd read through the storybook on the Parliament's origins, Ms. Green and Maggie both fell fast asleep. Ms. Green then proceeded to have a series of dreams about "many things [she'd] seen and some things that [she] hasn't." Culminating in one particularly frightful monster that definitely fell into the latter category. A monster that addressed her as 'Fremb.' It wouldn't be all that long before they began appearing in the waking world... Apparently sent by the Parliament to find the Exvironator.

----

!! Dr. Everton Morteus Balmer

[[quoteright:360:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/c612229c135ea1763cb48ad9fcc518b5.png]]
[[caption-width-right:300:Embalms cadavers to be used for "recreational purposes." …By which we mean "made into tourist traps."]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': There is a '''bad thing''' polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well '''thrive''' under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one ''pseudo protein'' away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event! The ''chaos!'' The ''exquisite madness!'' I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....

Head mortician of The Morgue. For some reason, he's set up a well-stocked facility out on one particular Inert Sub-Vessel of Miss Green's. [[spoiler: NOTE: For tropes focused on his 'Ascended' form, scroll downward to The Parliament section.]]

* AnimateInanimateObject: Clearly a walking, talking, sentient embalming machine.
* AccidentalMisnaming: He's [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html ridiculously terrible]] at remembering others' names.
* AllLoveIsUnrequited: Dr. Phage won't ''amalgamate zones'' with him. This leaves him pouty.
* CampGay: He's obviously homosexual; he signs his name with hearts, comments on Celia's unfashionable hat on her wanted poster, and seems to be fond of [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/363.html pink]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogbalmer.html glitter.]]
* DepravedHomosexual: Phage spurned Balmer's affections. In retaliation, Balmer wanted to use the anomaly in order to infect all the Hospital's patients with an untreatable disease, in order to utterly ruin Phage financially. Does that sound like the goal of a ''right-minded'' homosexual?
* EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor: Showcased by the ''hilarious'' gag items Balmer leaves for Ms. Green to find in the trash can.
* {{Greed}}: The primary motivating force behind all of Dr. Balmer's actions.
* ItIsDehumanizing: Dr. Balmer does recognize that Ms. Green is female, straight away; (check his quote up above; he calls her 'madam.') Yet, whenever he's NOT attempting to beguile her into performing favors for him, he's loathe to acknowledge her femininity, [[https://www.patreon.com/posts/balmers-files-3225740 vastly preferring]] to call her by the objectifying 'it' pronoun.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': I'm sure some egghead out there would love to [[AlienAutopsy cut it up]] and find out how a grey-zoner initiated post-developmental branchination. Maybe the Recombinators can farm it for [[TheSecretOfLongPorkPies sausage scraps]] and the Effluvious Conglomeration can [[HumanResources patch their silly moonsponge]] with what's left of its core!
** Though when the dolphin endangers his life, he does briefly switch to the gender-neutral 'them,' (but then, this too, amounted to situational brown-nosing. And Ms. Green was never a gender-neutral sort of woman, anyway.)
* ItsAllAboutMe: On top of being swollen with self-importance, Balmer lies, betrays and plots mass murder without remorse, all to profit off the corpses.
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: One word; [[spoiler: DOLPHIN'D.]]
* LargeAndInCharge: Comes naturally when your minions are molecules.
* MeaningfulName: '''Mort'''eus is very befitting of a ''mort''ician, as is '''Ever'''ton, since he keeps his corpses in ''ever''lasting preservation.
* MechanicalLifeforms: A walking, talking, perfectly sapient [[http://embalming-machines.com embalming tank.]]
* NightmareFetishist: Dr. Balmer's a mortician, sworn to keep his cadavers sterilized and well-preserved. And though he's sincerely committed to his duties, the thought of decomposition and infestation, (indeed, of catastrophe in general,) still fills him with perverse glee.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': Can your feeble head-stuffings even fathom the delectable horror of an entire perception zone simply rotting away to nothing? Devoured from within by insatiable vermin!? Oh, the very thought of it tickles my wires with such decadent revulsion!
** When he fuses with the dolphin, his stated goal is to eat the world, just like the worms were doing.
* NoisyRobots: Though he's not actually a robot, Dr. Balmer's body is still a great, bulky metallic contraption, and he CLUNKS loudly whenever he walks.
* ProperlyParanoid: Initially, you might find Dr. Balmer's delfiniphobia to be perplexingly out-of-place, given where he works. ''Initially'' being the key word.
* PunnyName: Dr. E.M. Balmer. 'Embalmer,' folks.
* SourGrapes: Says nothing nice about The Hospital, calling it a 'wasteful diversion' and 'delaying the inevitable,' yet is clearly still upset that Dr. Phage turned down a merger of The Morgue and The Hospital.
* StarterEquipment: Helpfully furnishes Ms. Green with a new satchel to stow inventory in, after her old {{Hammerspace}} tote bag becomes inaccessible.
* StealthInsult: Possibly. The satchel Balmer gives Green is a "MY FIRST JUNIOR BIOVESSEL EXPLORER'S KIT FOR BABIES."
* TechnoBabble: He's as susceptible to this as any of his Hospital counterparts.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': We're detecting quasimaterial, paraconceptual and even antivibrational wavelengths as deep as the '''sub-seething''' in some cases, and our current paradox may even carry traces of '''hose warblation.'''
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Pickles from pickle jars, according to WordOfGod. Balmer even stored the anomaly, itself, inside an [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/422.html empty pickle jar.]]
* TreacherousQuestGiver: Assigns Ms. Green to 'retrieve' an 'anomaly' from a nearby community of 'contaminoids' and return it to his facility so that he may destroy it. When she and her companions succeed, he has her taken prisoner, with the intention of selling her off to whomever will pay the highest price for her.

!! Methanyll & Hyde

[[quoteright:124:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/methyl.png]]
[[caption-width-right:124:He's Methanyll.]]

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hyde.png]]
[[caption-width-right:124:She's Hyde.]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': Welcome, welcome! We've been expecting you! Do come in, won't you? No time to waste!
--> '''Hyde''': Yeah, 'oigent bidness!
--> '''Methanyll''': We've got a selection of fine cheeses!

Two members of Balmer's obedient crew of molecules.

* AdorableEvilMinions: Hyde and Methanyll are but two members of a large crew of sapient molecules in Dr. Balmer's employ.
* CoolShades: Hyde wears a pair of these.
* FoodAsBribe: Methanyll tries to entice Ms. Green into entering Dr. Balmer's workplace with 'a fine selection of cheeses,' unsuccessfully. [[spoiler: However, when he mentions their equally fine selection of alcoholic beverages...]]
* FunetikAksent: Methanyll is described as having a thick English accent, while Hyde's is Bronx.
* MegaMicrobes: Mega-''molecules.''
* NiceHat: The best way of picking Methanyll out of a crowd.
* PunnyName: Methanol and formaldehyde.

!! Trichia

[[quoteright:183:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/trichia.png]]
[[caption-width-right:183:Funny who you meet in a bar.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So... what the heck should I do?
--> '''Trichia''': If it were me? Let 'em take you to the whatchamawozzle, let Balmer contain it and let them figure out the rest on their own. Whatever you're doing this for, you gotta watch out for number one, get it?

A microbe that chatted with Miss Green in a tavern.

* TheDogWasTheMastermind: [[spoiler:Before revealing herself as a lady [[EvilAllAlong in league with Balmer,]] Trichia was just somebody who struck up a conversation with Ms. Green in a tavern. Though the chat was fairly lengthy, it lasted 2 webpages in a plot arc that spanned over 200 webpages.]]
* TheDrifter: Describes herself as "something of a vesselhopper."
* HeroKiller: Shot Maggie and Staph.
* FantasticRacism: Though it doesn't stop her from taking a shine to Ms. Green right away.
* KilledMidSentence:[[spoiler:I'll blast it faster'n you can say-]]
* MacGuffinDeliveryService: Trichia plays this trope out like some single-celled [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Rene Belloq.]]
* NiceHat
* PunnyName: Trichomoniasis... but also, Trichia is a ''tricky'' sort.
* RammingAlwaysWorks: [[spoiler:When the Dolphin rams itself into Trichia, it works very well at ending her life.]]
* TheShill: Trichia shilled what Balmer offered to whoever would listen to her in the bacteria village.
* WorfHadTheFlu: Especially right after vanquishing the Immense Thing, Ms. Green's companions were strong enough to've mowed down Trichia and her posse of molecoids under normal circumstances. Then the audience learns that fusions such as the one which [[FusionDance formed Staphielle]] left their participants physically exhausted.
--> '''Trichia''': After a fusion I'm surprised you have the energy to stand.

!! Magatha

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/9bb2f010d03c114f4d94624b5f6a1b1f.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The greatest wiseass on the Inert Vessel.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So-
--> '''Magatha''': A mysterious book, you say? Interesting! That's for something with an optical sense. Apprentice Maggie has been my eyes since I embedded. She will no doubt be happy to take a look at it.
--> '''Ms. Green''': O...okay...do you kno-
--> '''Magatha''': -w anything about Celia?

A wise all-knowing sage who dwells in a pus march. Friend to Staph, mentor to Maggie, and counselor to Miss Green.
----
* AllLovingHero: In terms of WHO she is... Magatha has a heart and soul of 24-karat gold. The less said about [[NauseaFuel WHAT she is]]… the better.
* BlindSeer: An interesting variation on this trope. Magatha DOES possess seeing eyes, but since so much of herself has currently buried itself, she is effectively blind at the time Miss Green meets with her.
* PunnyName: 'Maggot,' just like Maggie, her younger counterpart. In fact, Magatha represents the first instance in ''Awful Hospital'' where two names derive from the same root pun.
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat: The Oracle Knew You Would Say That.
* TalkingPoo: Talking Maggot Anus. [[IAmNotMakingThisUpDisclaimer This'll take some explaining.]] See... Magatha's a maggot who's about to undergo a metamorphosis into an adult. To that end, her whole upper body has instinctively 'embedded' itself 'underflesh.' Her buried head has entered a mindless involuntary feeding/burrowing state. ''Somehow,'' though, all her higher brain functions have been redirected to her anus. Magatha is able to speak through her anus as though it were a mouth.
* WeHardlyKnewYe: Magatha doesn't get that many webcomic pages before her transmigration.

[[folder: The Worms]]

!! All Worms In General

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/27ad8c83bd15771550bf1d4d1e4beca8.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The Worms Crawl In.]]

--> ''Biovessel exploration date @I*/#*388''
--> ''An interesting characteristic of the Mortizonal vermifauna are the physiological configurations they may assimilate from the fading concept-core of their food source. Anything encountered, believed, or considered by a biovessel during its functional period may influence the form, function, and behavior of worm scavengers as they tunnel in and out of the vessel's residual layers. Unfamiliar as I am with the functional history of Inert sub-concept vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990, I can hardly begin to guess the significance of the vermiform which as of this writing has masticated, digested, and excreted nearly 32% of my own corporeal shell.''

An incalculable legion of worms, who've see fit to wriggle their way from the Morgue into the Inert Vessel, ''en masse,'' with the intent of stuffing their guts. At first, they almost [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/229.html completely ignore]] Ms. Green altogether, but grow [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/337.html increasingly hostile]] towards her and her team as time progresses.

* AuthorAppeal: Bogleech LOVES designing these creatures.
* CastOfSnowflakes: No two are alike.
* FisherKingdom: As stated above, the worms 'assimilate' their 'physiological configurations' from Ms. Green's memories.
* ImAHumanitarian: They've all migrated here, en masse, to consume Green's corpse. Several of them will attack the small, living Ms. Green as well.
* {{Jerkass}}: Thus far, the nicest worms have been ones that ignore Ms. Green completely.
* MonstrousCannibalism: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/260.html Worms]] have been observed eating [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/261.html other worms.]]
* SeriousBusiness: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinochle Pinochle.]] They are mad about it to the point where they're willing to use a pinochle game to [[DuelsDecideEverything permanently determine]] who is predator and who is prey across all the multiverse.
--> '''Referee Worm''': THE LOSING PARTY SHALL BE HONORED VIA CONSUMPTION BY THE WINNING PARTY ACROSS ALL EXISTING AND POTENTIAL ITERATIONS OF THE REALITY SPECTRUM.
* TalkingAnimal: Many of them are capable of speaking English. And all of them truly are '''animals.'''
* TheBully: Savagely abusing their intended prey -- physically, emotionally, and verbally -- fills worms with despicable satisfaction.
--> '''Gasworm''': [[{{Jerkass}} OoOOh!]] Touched a nerve, have I?! I thought this tasted like a juicy form!
* YourWorstNightmare: Worms' bodies can physically adapt themselves to become nightmarish, wormy approximations of things an approaching foe dreads most. And they have an uncanny sixth sense of what to ''say'' in their new forms to further distress their foes.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Why did it...say those things...
--> '''Maggie''': Probably manifestated from yer core; cobbled together a bioform from yer experiences n' anxieties.

!!Chest Worm

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/77b97197238edabb4dbd4040011637a0.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:None too genre savvy, are ya?]]

--> '''Chest Worm''': Who would really leave such a beautiful handsome box in a crummy place like this!? I'm gonna eat ya up.

A monstrous worm passing itself off as a treasure chest.

* ChestMonster: Though many of the Commentators suspected he might be this right from the start.
* EvilGloating: Right off the bat, he lets Ms. Green knows he means to [[ImAHumanitarian to devour her.]] As well as gloating in general.
* MilesGloriosus: [[spoiler: The moment he sees Ms. Green brandish an actual weapon at him, Chest Worm loses interest in eating her, and leaves sniffily.]]
* MindReading: It's very possible he's this. How else would he sense that the Commentators were onto him?
--> '''Chest Worm''': (first spoken words) DUMMY! They totally called it!!
** It's later [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/266.html confirmed]] that most worms can perceive "parazonal conceptual feedback", i.e. the voices of the Commentators.
* NonCombatantImmunity: Averted with him. [[spoiler: then [[InvertedTrope inverted]], once Ms. Green acquires the sharpened pipe.]]
* SuddenlyVoiced: He's the very first worm shown to speak.

!! The Moldsucker (Mildred M. Sucker)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/330f621e76d54196131ccb0d4fe83920.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Ferocious fungal focus.]]

--> '''Moldsucker''': Muh-muh-mmuh-mmMMMMOoOoOOoooOOOoOOLLLLLLD!!!

A true behemoth of a worm, moldsuckers have an infamously insatiable hunger for fungisapients, and will hunt them over vast distances. This particular individual - Mildred M. Sucker, was the first Moldsucker encountered by Miss Green and Celia.

* AwakeningTheSleepingGiant
* BigCreepyCrawlies: The most enormous worm Ms. Green has encountered in the Inert Vessel to date.
* GulliverTieDown
* NightmareFace
* PunnyName: 'M. Sucker?'
* KingOfGames: Queen Of Pinochle.
* SingleTargetSexuality: She disregards Ms. Green completely as though she's not even there.
* StalkerWithoutACrush: She's now one to Celia.
* SuperPersistentPredator: According to Celia, Moldsuckers will pursue a fungusapient until one or the other is dead.
* SuperSpeed
--> '''Celia''': A hungry Moldsucker moves like lightning!
* SuperToughness: The inside of her stomach.
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': Can't we just cut our way out? Or use that repellant stu-]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Celia''': No. That thing is easily [[RolePlayingGameTerms AC60.]][[note]]'AC60' means: Armor Class 60. Bogleech rolls with a 20-sided dice, making Mildred's stomach effectively invulnerable.[[/note]]]]
* SwallowedWhole: Her opening move in the Pinochle match.
* UngratefulBastard: Ms. Green convinces Celia not to kill her. Later, she excitedly volunteers to be the worms' representative in their pinochle game against Miss Green and her friends. [[spoiler:Few moments later however, she hurls them back out elsewhere [[IOweYouMyLife in gratitude]] for them not slaying her back when they had the chance]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Parliament]]

!! The Parliament

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/theparliament.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[spoiler: Family 2]]]]

--> '''Picture Book''': THINGS KEPT FLAGRANTLY '''EXISTING''' and REMORSELESSLY '''NOT BEING''' THE CAKE, ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POOR CAKE'S '''PRECIOUS, VIRGINAL EYES.''' EVERYTHING BECAME [[RuinedForever RUINED AND DISGUSTING]] FOREVER. Soon, all that remained of the cake were a few small crumbs. But the crumbs… '''remembered.'''

A bunch of twisted, gnarled, [[SinisterGeometry sinister alien]] [[TheMonolith stalagmite-like monoliths]] that exist... somewhere. Long ago, they used to be the crumbs of a primordial being.

* AbsoluteXenophobe: In the storybook, the cake was highly distressed and offended by everything that wasn't itself. Probably didn't help that all those non-cake things [[ProperlyParanoid were out to eat it, though.]] The Parliament feels the same hatred towards everything else.
* AllThereInTheManual: How we know they're called [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/theparliament.png 'The Parliament.']]
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: While the Parliament themselves are all stony grays and browns you'd expect of stalagmites, there is a specific shade of red that's come to be associated with them; a red-tinted picture of [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything bacteria under a microscope.]] It's first seen in the sky within the image being used for Redbert, just below.
* ConnectedAllAlong: The first time we see The Parliament, it looks like they might be some disconnected bit of quick, random spookiness, à la [[WesternAnimation/HalloweenIsGrinchNight everything in the Grinch's Paraphernalia Wagon.]] Nope.
* FromNobodyToNightmare: If we take the storybook at face value, The Parliament originated from the crumbs of a ''sapient birthday cake.'' A cake that wouldn't have looked out of place next to [[Franchise/HelloKitty Hello Kitty.]]
* OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: All we know with absolute certainty about the Parliament is that they're a malicious bunch.
* ThePowerOfHate: The primordial being/"Birthday Cake" was reduced to crumbs in a state of hatred. Somehow, those crumbs grew upwards into ominous stalagmite-like formations, remembering that hatred.
* SecretOtherFamily: Every page in ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' isn't just numbered, but cleverly titled as well. The Parliament's debut comes on page #184, with them looming over the crib of Ms. Green's baby. [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/archive.html Scroll down the webcomic's archive and see for yourself]] what #184's been titled.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: The first snatch of concrete information about The Parliament comes in the form of an 11-page children's picture book Ms. Green buys in an item shop. A picture book whose publisher chose to hire the same bookbinder that made [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/necronomicon_5873.jpg the Necronomicon]]... with humanoid facial flesh peering out from the [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/bookspooky.png front cover.]] It was also originally chained up, and is known to have funny mental effects on its readers.

!! Redbert

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-11.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One of these things is not like the others.]]

--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green's Son''': hole frend]]

An enormous red worm that seems to be specifically affiliated with The Parliament.
----
* AllThereInTheManual: As with The Parliament, itself, this is how [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/redbert.gif we know Redbert's name.]]
* BigCreepyCrawlies: He's a large worm that resembles a frog's tongue.
* MeaningfulName: Redbert's red.
* SilentAntagonist
* TokenEnemyMinority: The one known non-stalagmite within the Parliament's ranks.
* WallMaster: First show coming into the gray zone through some kind of hole [[spoiler: in the ceiling over Ms. Green's son's crib.]]

!! The Birthday Cake

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-1.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:…And there was NEVER EVER anything else. Everything was just fine.]]

--> '''Picture Book''': The Cake enjoyed being the ONLY THING there EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Until, without warning, it began to feel UNWELL. As the innocent, sweet cake grew increasingly ILL, things began being that were '''NOT CAKE.'''

A character seen only in a picture book, but one that hints to major backstory. A primordial being that existed in itself before the Zones came to be and it slowly deteriorated into what is now the Parliament. It's unclear if it was an ''actual'' cake or if it's just allegorical though.
----
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: It wasn't able to comprehend that something other than itself may exist, and felt such an intense hatred of the Zones because of this that its remains became the Parliament, running purely on ThePowerOfHate.
* EldritchAbomination: If it's not literally cake, than it's surely this. Probably it's this even if it ''is'' cake.
* EmphasizeEverything: The author of the Birthday Cake's story does this to convey QUITE a BIT of the Cake's ''INTENSE, HIGH-STRUNG EMOTION'' and '''DEEP, ABIDING RESENTMENT AT ALL THE UNFAIRNESS IT SUFFERED''' in the tale's written prose, combined liberally with '''RainbowText.'''
* TheHermit: The first thing we learn about the Birthday Cake is how perfectly happy it was in nothingness and solitude.
* ItsAllAboutMe: It was quite a narcissistic little dessert.
* MakeThemRot: Like any normal real-life cake that's left uneaten for too long… cultures of microorganisms eventually settled upon the Birthday Cake, and it decayed completely as nature took its course.
* StartOfDarkness: Its whole story.

!! The Dolphin(s?)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dreamwake.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Ms. Green snaps awake from a nightmare of dark evildoers of great and terrible porpoise.]]

--> '''Dolphin''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/hellofremb.html HELLO FREMB.]]

Shortly after they'd read through the storybook on the Parliament's origins, Ms. Green and Maggie both fell fast asleep. Ms. Green then proceeded to have a series of dreams about "many things [she'd] seen and some things that [she] hasn't." Culminating in one particularly frightful monster that definitely fell into the latter category. A monster that addressed her as 'Fremb.' It wouldn't be all that long before they began appearing in the waking world... Apparently sent by the Parliament to find the Exvironator.

----

[[folder: Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]]

[[folder: The Library]]
!! Professor Lexicovermus

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lithovermus.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: "Books are uniquely portable magic." -- Stephen King]]

--> '''Professor Lexicovermus''': For no charge at all, I'll letcha nice morsels pick out ONE fiiine item from your ever-growin' shelf here at our faaantabulous intrazonal omnipotentual library! Whatever ya pick out, I can pass on to anybody else ya like! Even this savory green protagonator ya seem to enjoy pushin' around lately! Plenty-a things she don't know yet in all them tasty files n' journals n' whatnot! You pick it out, she gets to read it! Better choose reeeeal careful-like! Next time might be life n' death, ya never do know!

In addition to their ability to guide and direct Miss Green's actions, the Commentators have access to a [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html most uncanny library]] full of special supplemental reading material. Personnel files, blogs… even prose stories, all relating to other characters Miss Green has met. Miss Green isn't able to access any part this library, herself, (apart from material she, herself, has [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/349.html collected in-story.]]) Nor are her well-meaning Commentators able to share any of this library's information to her through commentary.

All that changed in the middle of hunting for the anomaly within the Inert Vessel. Green and her team stumbled upon a strange book, containing this bibliophilic fellow from The Library. He addresses the Commentators directly and cuts a most unusual deal with them: if they promise to read more books from their own [[RealLife local libraries,]] he'll allow Miss Green access to a single item from the Commentators' library. But they have to choose which one.

* AndIMustScream: We can only hope that book the Professor's popping out from is purely a work of fiction. Because if not, that means Professor Lexicovermus transformed some [[BalefulPolymorph human being]] into a series of books, possibly as punishment for not reading enough, and is in the process of [[ImAHumanitarian eating them.]] And the transformed victim in question is still [[EatenAlive self-aware]] while it's happening.
* BenevolentMonsters: Although Professor Lexicovermus was a bookworm first introduced in the Inert Vessel arc, he's not affiliated with any of THOSE worms.
* {{Bookworm}}
* FromBeyondTheFourthWall: Data which was meant for the Commentators' eyes only will be disclosed to Miss Green, thanks to this guy.
* MagicalLibrary: There can be no doubt that the Professor's home zone is every inch as paranormal as The Hospital or Burgrr, Inc.
* MeaningfulName: 'Lexicovermus' is basically Latin for 'bookworm.'
* ReadingIsCoolAesop: The Professor's bargain with the Commentators. Most of them were agreeable to it.
* UnexpectedCharacter

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]]

!! Dr. Everton Morteus Balmer

[[quoteright:360:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/c612229c135ea1763cb48ad9fcc518b5.png]]
[[caption-width-right:300:Embalms cadavers to be used for "recreational purposes." …By which we mean "made into tourist traps."]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': There is a '''bad thing''' polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well '''thrive''' under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one ''pseudo protein'' away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event! The ''chaos!'' The ''exquisite madness!'' I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....

Head mortician of The Morgue. For some reason, he's set up a well-stocked facility out on one particular Inert Sub-Vessel of Miss Green's. [[spoiler: NOTE: For tropes focused on his 'Ascended' form, scroll downward to The Parliament section.]]
----

[[folder: The Morgue]]

!!Stone Slab
[[quoteright:350: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/awfulhospitalstoneslab_1436.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Checking in?]]

--> '''Stone Slab:''' I dunno, the stiffs all look alike to us anyway. ...Like a paycheck! Haha!!

A cracked tombstone who looks after The Morgue. He’s one of the friendlier and more forthcoming individuals Ms. Green meets, and is happy to put on some music and have a chat.

* BizarreAlienLocomotion: He floats somehow, manifests an arm when he needs it, and is weirded out by the concept of legs.
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: As usual for the Hospital. His views of life and death are a bit off:
--> '''Stone Slab:''' A body’s just a bunch of different stuff in one place, legs. All that changes is which parts eat and which parts get eaten.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: A certain retro video game produced by [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/206 Namco,]] perchance?
* ForgetfulJones: According to him, at least.
* GallowsHumor: As his quote shows. It probably comes easily when you don't have a neck or a concept of death.
* HelpfulMook: He’s there to do his job and doesn’t much care to ask questions.
--> '''Stone Slab:''' Stick to what you think is normal and you’ll be fine. For me, The Morgue is normal. We all belong to our own respective [[TechnoBabble Class 9 autoperceptual omnimaterial repeating concept spirals…]]
* HeroicSacrifice
* TheLittleShopThatWasntThereYesterday: The first time Ms. Green peeks inside the locked morgue's window, she sees a fairly conventional-looking morgue. By the time she returns with the morgue key, that room has been inexplicably replaced by Stone Slab's elevator.
* NiceHat: A bellhop's hat.
* RockMonster: A very non-monstrous version.

!!The Revourer
[[quoteright:400:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/f61851e9f4fc69cce23d06b29f918b4a.png]]
[[caption-width-right:400:WAKKA WAKKA]]

--> '''Stone Slab:''' Run for your deaths!

A huge monster which prowls the Morgue.
----
* BigEater: Without a doubt.
* EvilCounterpart: Of ''Pac-Man!''
* TheMaze: The Morgue, itself, is nothing more than a vast, labyrinthine hunting ground for this Pac-Monster.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Re-vourer. As in: 'one who will devour you numerous times.'
* OrcusOnHisThrone: Should Ms. Green eventually manage to make her way back to The Morgue, she'll still have this guy to contend with before she can set foot in The Hospital again.
* SinisterSilhouettes: So far, all we've seen of the Revourer is his spherical shadow on the wall.

[[folder: The Library]]
!! Professor Lexicovermus

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lithovermus.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: "Books are uniquely portable magic." -- Stephen King]]

--> '''Professor Lexicovermus''': For no charge at all, I'll letcha nice morsels pick out ONE fiiine item from your ever-growin' shelf here at our faaantabulous intrazonal omnipotentual library! Whatever ya pick out, I can pass on to anybody else ya like! Even this savory green protagonator ya seem to enjoy pushin' around lately! Plenty-a things she don't know yet in all them tasty files n' journals n' whatnot! You pick it out, she gets to read it! Better choose reeeeal careful-like! Next time might be life n' death, ya never do know!

In addition to their ability to guide and direct Miss Green's actions, the Commentators have access to a [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html most uncanny library]] full of special supplemental reading material. Personnel files, blogs… even prose stories, all relating to other characters Miss Green has met. Miss Green isn't able to access any part this library, herself, (apart from material she, herself, has [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/349.html collected in-story.]]) Nor are her well-meaning Commentators able to share any of this library's information to her through commentary.

All that changed in the middle of hunting for the anomaly within the Inert Vessel. Green and her team stumbled upon a strange book, containing this bibliophilic fellow from The Library. He addresses the Commentators directly and cuts a most unusual deal with them: if they promise to read more books from their own [[RealLife local libraries,]] he'll allow Miss Green access to a single item from the Commentators' library. But they have to choose which one.

* AndIMustScream: We can only hope that book the Professor's popping out from is purely a work of fiction. Because if not, that means Professor Lexicovermus transformed some [[BalefulPolymorph human being]] into a series of books, possibly as punishment for not reading enough, and is in the process of [[ImAHumanitarian eating them.]] And the transformed victim in question is still [[EatenAlive self-aware]] while it's happening.
* BenevolentMonsters: Although Professor Lexicovermus was a bookworm first introduced in the Inert Vessel arc, he's not affiliated with any of THOSE worms.
* {{Bookworm}}
* FromBeyondTheFourthWall: Data which was meant for the Commentators' eyes only will be disclosed to Miss Green, thanks to this guy.
* MagicalLibrary: There can be no doubt that the Professor's home zone is every inch as paranormal as The Hospital or Burgrr, Inc.
* MeaningfulName: 'Lexicovermus' is basically Latin for 'bookworm.'
* ReadingIsCoolAesop: The Professor's bargain with the Commentators. Most of them were agreeable to it.
* UnexpectedCharacter

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]]

!! Dr. Everton Morteus Balmer

[[quoteright:360:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/c612229c135ea1763cb48ad9fcc518b5.png]]
[[caption-width-right:300:Embalms cadavers to be used for "recreational purposes." …By which we mean "made into tourist traps."]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': There is a '''bad thing''' polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well '''thrive''' under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one ''pseudo protein'' away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event! The ''chaos!'' The ''exquisite madness!'' I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....

Head mortician of The Morgue. For some reason, he's set up a well-stocked facility out on one particular Inert Sub-Vessel of Miss Green's. [[spoiler: NOTE: For tropes focused on his 'Ascended' form, scroll downward to The Parliament section.]]
----

[[folder: The Burgrr, Inc. Personnel]]
!!Harmburger

[[quoteright:349:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/harmburger_662.png]]
[[caption-width-right:349:Kiss the cook.]]

--> It's a hamburger. Or maybe it's a cheeseburger. Whatever. Things squirm in its rancid, dribbling ground beef. Its unblinking eyeballs bulge hungrily. It's such a ludicrous sight you almost don't notice the blood-stained cleaver.

This rotting assembly of meat, wheat products and bugs is employed as a chef at the hospital's cafeteria. Though he might look simple, he's surprisingly agile with a meat cleaver.

* AbhorrentAdmirer: Harmburger's NOT comfortable when Ms. Green begins hitting on him.
* AmbiguouslyEvil
* AnthropomorphicFood
* BewareTheSillyOnes: If the cleaver wasn't enough warning. He's also been [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-harmburger.png warned]] against infiltrating the hospital for [[ParanoiaFuel reasons unknown]].
--> '''Dr. Phage:''' "On a more personal note, ''yeesh'', this guy."
* ChefOfIron: When there's an enemy to fight, Harmburger brings out his cleaver.
* ExpressiveMask: Harmburger's body is thoroughly infested with vermin that form facial expressions for him. He even anime-sweatdrops... with a blue slug.
* LethalChef
* MuckMonster: Every bit as much one as Trubbish and Garbodor from the Pokemon series.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast
* NiceHat: Few, indeed, can wear a brain parasite so stylishly.
* TheSecretOfLongPorkPies
* TheSpeechless

!!BBQ Girll

[[quoteright:344:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bbqgirll_6225.png]]
[[caption-width-right:344:Garrulous, gleeful, genki grill girl.]]

--> '''BBQ Girll''': We will need to [[TechnoBabble conceptualize the appropriate deverberator, and unfortunately, we are not cleared for manifestation outside our conceptual zones.]] We will need you to bring back the correct materials from The Hospital.
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...What kind of "materials?"
--> '''BBQ Girll''': Don't sweat it, bubbleguts, [[QuestGiver we made you]] [[FetchQuest a list]].

An anthropomorphic barbecue grill with corporate cheer and spirit to spare. She appears to manage the Burgrr facility adjacent to(?) the hospital's cafeteria.

* BewareTheSillyOnes
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: Thought it would be a real treat for Ms. Green to [[spoiler:eat herself]].
* CloudCuckoolander
* CuteAndPsycho: She really, ''really'' likes edible BodyHorror.
* DissonantSerenity: She never stops smiling...
* EatsBabies: After ([[TimeyWimeyBall so to speak]]) brains, they discovered gray-zoner genitalia. Babies come ''pre-marinated''.
* GameFace: ...even in her nightmarish, hot-grease-oozing alternate form. Well... [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/146 almost]] never.
* HollywoodTourettes: A non-profanity-based version.
--> '''BBQ Girll''': ''We'' are not of The Hospital. We are of the MARVELOUS FOOD DREAM!!! 1000% EAT!!!
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...What?
--> '''BBQ Girll''': What's what? Look, chesterflap, if you've branched correctly you should be perceiving the MEAT TIMES ETERNITY, FLESH FOR A WORLD OF MEALENATING.
* NiceHat: Her grill cover serves as a hat.
* TheNicknamer: 'Meatlet,' '[[{{Foreshadowing}} joemaam]],' 'bugprince', 'kangaroo,' 'crablocks…' and those are just the first few.
* PerkyFemaleMinion
* PlayingWithFire: In combat, her weapon of choice is some kind of [[OurGhostsAreDifferent toothy charcoal ghost thing]] that she keeps under her hat.
* UnexplainedRecovery: As told in the original ''The Burgrr Entries'' and later mentioned by BBQ Girll in her blog, she had her "bio-core" smashed with a shovel. She got better and seemed to treat the entire incident as just a minor annoyance.
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: Now enjoy your [[spoiler:complimentary [[{{Autocannibalism}} autoconceptual foodmatters]]!]]

!!Double Doors(?!?!)

[[quoteright:334:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ddoors_1510.png]]
[[caption-width-right:334:You're not leaving on an empty stomach.]]

--> '''Double Doors''': There's only one way out of here with that thing, and you're prooobably not gonna like it near as much as I am. [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor It's really really funny to me.]]

The doors leading into the hospital's cafeteria, which can speak directly into the protagonist's mind. It's witty and generally friendly, though it does push the cafeteria's meals a tad aggressively.

* AffablyEvil: Just a highly enthusiastic... salesdoor.
* EldritchAbomination: [[spoiler:Dear God, [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/163 what IS that thing?!?!]] BBQ Girll's CharacterBlog [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogbbq.html implies]] that it's [[GrewBeyondTheirProgramming grown beyond its programming]] in ways that are worrying even the Burgrr staff.]]
* FoodChains: [[spoiler:The Double Doors want Ms. Green to eat that sloppy joe the way [[Literature/TheLionTheWitchAndTheWardrobe Jadis wanted Edmund Pevensie to eat her Turkish Delight.]]]]
* HollywoodTourettes: Another non-profanity-based version.
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...What did you say you were the doors to, again?
--> '''Double Doors''' Huh? I didn't say. What are youu'''ULTIMATE FEAST MATTER SINGS A SECRET MEAL TIME WISH'''abbling on about?
* NoSell: Ms. Green attempts to smuggle the sloppy joe out of the cafeteria by stowing it into her hyperspace tote bag. Double Doors remains firmly closed.
* OurDoorsAreDifferent: Door-ish, sapient, highly persuasive circuit webs, to be precise.
* ThisCannotBe: [[spoiler:Double Doors is rather astonished that the 'weapon' Ms. Green selects to defeat him ends up working.]]
* TheUnpronounceable: Good luck getting [[spoiler:)(_)(]] through a human throat.
* VillainOverride: [[spoiler:What an M1 Abrams tank is to forceful entry, Double Doors is to MindControl. He doesn't ''merely'' try to hypnotize Ms. Green, he '''barrages''' her mind with psychic coercion, and even [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/162 reaches past the fourth wall to 'edit' the words of the Commentators who're screaming at Ms. Green to resist his influence, so it looks like they're agreeing with him.]]]]
* WeaksauceWeakness: [[spoiler: A yellow sticky note on which the words 'Out Of Order Sorry' are written beside a frowny face.]]
* WhamLine:
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': The mouth guy…]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Double Doors''': Forget him.]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': ...but he has a key I nee-]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Double Doors''': No, not him. Your kid. Forget him. >Eat your sandwich. You've earned it!]]

[[folder: The Morgue]]

!!Stone Slab
[[quoteright:350: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/awfulhospitalstoneslab_1436.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Checking in?]]

--> '''Stone Slab:''' I dunno, the stiffs all look alike to us anyway. ...Like a paycheck! Haha!!

A cracked tombstone who looks after The Morgue. He’s one of the friendlier and more forthcoming individuals Ms. Green meets, and is happy to put on some music and have a chat.

* BizarreAlienLocomotion: He floats somehow, manifests an arm when he needs it, and is weirded out by the concept of legs.
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: As usual for the Hospital. His views of life and death are a bit off:
--> '''Stone Slab:''' A body’s just a bunch of different stuff in one place, legs. All that changes is which parts eat and which parts get eaten.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: A certain retro video game produced by [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/206 Namco,]] perchance?
* ForgetfulJones: According to him, at least.
* GallowsHumor: As his quote shows. It probably comes easily when you don't have a neck or a concept of death.
* HelpfulMook: He’s there to do his job and doesn’t much care to ask questions.
--> '''Stone Slab:''' Stick to what you think is normal and you’ll be fine. For me, The Morgue is normal. We all belong to our own respective [[TechnoBabble Class 9 autoperceptual omnimaterial repeating concept spirals…]]
* HeroicSacrifice
* TheLittleShopThatWasntThereYesterday: The first time Ms. Green peeks inside the locked morgue's window, she sees a fairly conventional-looking morgue. By the time she returns with the morgue key, that room has been inexplicably replaced by Stone Slab's elevator.
* NiceHat: A bellhop's hat.
* RockMonster: A very non-monstrous version.

!!The Revourer
[[quoteright:400:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/f61851e9f4fc69cce23d06b29f918b4a.png]]
[[caption-width-right:400:WAKKA WAKKA]]

--> '''Stone Slab:''' Run for your deaths!

A huge monster which prowls the Morgue.

* BigEater: Without a doubt.
* EvilCounterpart: Of ''Pac-Man!''
* TheMaze: The Morgue, itself, is nothing more than a vast, labyrinthine hunting ground for this Pac-Monster.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Re-vourer. As in: 'one who will devour you numerous times.'
* OrcusOnHisThrone: Should Ms. Green eventually manage to make her way back to The Morgue, she'll still have this guy to contend with before she can set foot in The Hospital again.
* SinisterSilhouettes: So far, all we've seen of the Revourer is his spherical shadow on the wall.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Library]]
!! Professor Lexicovermus

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lithovermus.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: "Books are uniquely portable magic." -- Stephen King]]

--> '''Professor Lexicovermus''': For no charge at all, I'll letcha nice morsels pick out ONE fiiine item from your ever-growin' shelf here at our faaantabulous intrazonal omnipotentual library! Whatever ya pick out, I can pass on to anybody else ya like! Even this savory green protagonator ya seem to enjoy pushin' around lately! Plenty-a things she don't know yet in all them tasty files n' journals n' whatnot! You pick it out, she gets to read it! Better choose reeeeal careful-like! Next time might be life n' death, ya never do know!

In addition to their ability to guide and direct Miss Green's actions, the Commentators have access to a [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html most uncanny library]] full of special supplemental reading material. Personnel files, blogs… even prose stories, all relating to other characters Miss Green has met. Miss Green isn't able to access any part this library, herself, (apart from material she, herself, has [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/349.html collected in-story.]]) Nor are her well-meaning Commentators able to share any of this library's information to her through commentary.

All that changed in the middle of hunting for the anomaly within the Inert Vessel. Green and her team stumbled upon a strange book, containing this bibliophilic fellow from The Library. He addresses the Commentators directly and cuts a most unusual deal with them: if they promise to read more books from their own [[RealLife local libraries,]] he'll allow Miss Green access to a single item from the Commentators' library. But they have to choose which one.

* AndIMustScream: We can only hope that book the Professor's popping out from is purely a work of fiction. Because if not, that means Professor Lexicovermus transformed some [[BalefulPolymorph human being]] into a series of books, possibly as punishment for not reading enough, and is in the process of [[ImAHumanitarian eating them.]] And the transformed victim in question is still [[EatenAlive self-aware]] while it's happening.
* BenevolentMonsters: Although Professor Lexicovermus was a bookworm first introduced in the Inert Vessel arc, he's not affiliated with any of THOSE worms.
* {{Bookworm}}
* FromBeyondTheFourthWall: Data which was meant for the Commentators' eyes only will be disclosed to Miss Green, thanks to this guy.
* MagicalLibrary: There can be no doubt that the Professor's home zone is every inch as paranormal as The Hospital or Burgrr, Inc.
* MeaningfulName: 'Lexicovermus' is basically Latin for 'bookworm.'
* ReadingIsCoolAesop: The Professor's bargain with the Commentators. Most of them were agreeable to it.
* UnexpectedCharacter

[[folder: Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]]

!! Dr. Everton Morteus Balmer

[[quoteright:360:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/c612229c135ea1763cb48ad9fcc518b5.png]]
[[caption-width-right:300:Embalms cadavers to be used for "recreational purposes." …By which we mean "made into tourist traps."]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': There is a '''bad thing''' polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well '''thrive''' under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one ''pseudo protein'' away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event! The ''chaos!'' The ''exquisite madness!'' I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....

Head mortician of The Morgue. For some reason, he's set up a well-stocked facility out on one particular Inert Sub-Vessel of Miss Green's. [[spoiler: NOTE: For tropes focused on his 'Ascended' form, scroll downward to The Parliament section.]]

* AnimateInanimateObject: Clearly a walking, talking, sentient embalming machine.
* AccidentalMisnaming: He's [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html ridiculously terrible]] at remembering others' names.
* AllLoveIsUnrequited: Dr. Phage won't ''amalgamate zones'' with him. This leaves him pouty.
* CampGay: He's obviously homosexual; he signs his name with hearts, comments on Celia's unfashionable hat on her wanted poster, and seems to be fond of [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/363.html pink]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogbalmer.html glitter.]]
* DepravedHomosexual: Phage spurned Balmer's affections. In retaliation, Balmer wanted to use the anomaly in order to infect all the Hospital's patients with an untreatable disease, in order to utterly ruin Phage financially. Does that sound like the goal of a ''right-minded'' homosexual?
* EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor: Showcased by the ''hilarious'' gag items Balmer leaves for Ms. Green to find in the trash can.
* {{Greed}}: The primary motivating force behind all of Dr. Balmer's actions.
* ItIsDehumanizing: Dr. Balmer does recognize that Ms. Green is female, straight away; (check his quote up above; he calls her 'madam.') Yet, whenever he's NOT attempting to beguile her into performing favors for him, he's loathe to acknowledge her femininity, [[https://www.patreon.com/posts/balmers-files-3225740 vastly preferring]] to call her by the objectifying 'it' pronoun.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': I'm sure some egghead out there would love to [[AlienAutopsy cut it up]] and find out how a grey-zoner initiated post-developmental branchination. Maybe the Recombinators can farm it for [[TheSecretOfLongPorkPies sausage scraps]] and the Effluvious Conglomeration can [[HumanResources patch their silly moonsponge]] with what's left of its core!
** Though when the dolphin endangers his life, he does briefly switch to the gender-neutral 'them,' (but then, this too, amounted to situational brown-nosing. And Ms. Green was never a gender-neutral sort of woman, anyway.)
* ItsAllAboutMe: On top of being swollen with self-importance, Balmer lies, betrays and plots mass murder without remorse, all to profit off the corpses.
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: One word; [[spoiler: DOLPHIN'D.]]
* LargeAndInCharge: Comes naturally when your minions are molecules.
* MeaningfulName: '''Mort'''eus is very befitting of a ''mort''ician, as is '''Ever'''ton, since he keeps his corpses in ''ever''lasting preservation.
* MechanicalLifeforms: A walking, talking, perfectly sapient [[http://embalming-machines.com embalming tank.]]
* NightmareFetishist: Dr. Balmer's a mortician, sworn to keep his cadavers sterilized and well-preserved. And though he's sincerely committed to his duties, the thought of decomposition and infestation, (indeed, of catastrophe in general,) still fills him with perverse glee.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': Can your feeble head-stuffings even fathom the delectable horror of an entire perception zone simply rotting away to nothing? Devoured from within by insatiable vermin!? Oh, the very thought of it tickles my wires with such decadent revulsion!
** When he fuses with the dolphin, his stated goal is to eat the world, just like the worms were doing.
* NoisyRobots: Though he's not actually a robot, Dr. Balmer's body is still a great, bulky metallic contraption, and he CLUNKS loudly whenever he walks.
* ProperlyParanoid: Initially, you might find Dr. Balmer's delfiniphobia to be perplexingly out-of-place, given where he works. ''Initially'' being the key word.
* PunnyName: Dr. E.M. Balmer. 'Embalmer,' folks.
* SourGrapes: Says nothing nice about The Hospital, calling it a 'wasteful diversion' and 'delaying the inevitable,' yet is clearly still upset that Dr. Phage turned down a merger of The Morgue and The Hospital.
* StarterEquipment: Helpfully furnishes Ms. Green with a new satchel to stow inventory in, after her old {{Hammerspace}} tote bag becomes inaccessible.
* StealthInsult: Possibly. The satchel Balmer gives Green is a "MY FIRST JUNIOR BIOVESSEL EXPLORER'S KIT FOR BABIES."
* TechnoBabble: He's as susceptible to this as any of his Hospital counterparts.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': We're detecting quasimaterial, paraconceptual and even antivibrational wavelengths as deep as the '''sub-seething''' in some cases, and our current paradox may even carry traces of '''hose warblation.'''
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Pickles from pickle jars, according to WordOfGod. Balmer even stored the anomaly, itself, inside an [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/422.html empty pickle jar.]]
* TreacherousQuestGiver: Assigns Ms. Green to 'retrieve' an 'anomaly' from a nearby community of 'contaminoids' and return it to his facility so that he may destroy it. When she and her companions succeed, he has her taken prisoner, with the intention of selling her off to whomever will pay the highest price for her.

!! Methanyll & Hyde

[[quoteright:124:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/methyl.png]]
[[caption-width-right:124:He's Methanyll.]]

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hyde.png]]
[[caption-width-right:124:She's Hyde.]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': Welcome, welcome! We've been expecting you! Do come in, won't you? No time to waste!
--> '''Hyde''': Yeah, 'oigent bidness!
--> '''Methanyll''': We've got a selection of fine cheeses!

Two members of Balmer's obedient crew of molecules.

* AdorableEvilMinions: Hyde and Methanyll are but two members of a large crew of sapient molecules in Dr. Balmer's employ.
* CoolShades: Hyde wears a pair of these.
* FoodAsBribe: Methanyll tries to entice Ms. Green into entering Dr. Balmer's workplace with 'a fine selection of cheeses,' unsuccessfully. [[spoiler: However, when he mentions their equally fine selection of alcoholic beverages...]]
* FunetikAksent: Methanyll is described as having a thick English accent, while Hyde's is Bronx.
* MegaMicrobes: Mega-''molecules.''
* NiceHat: The best way of picking Methanyll out of a crowd.
* PunnyName: Methanol and formaldehyde.

!! Trichia

[[quoteright:183:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/trichia.png]]
[[caption-width-right:183:Funny who you meet in a bar.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So... what the heck should I do?
--> '''Trichia''': If it were me? Let 'em take you to the whatchamawozzle, let Balmer contain it and let them figure out the rest on their own. Whatever you're doing this for, you gotta watch out for number one, get it?

A microbe that chatted with Miss Green in a tavern.

* TheDogWasTheMastermind: [[spoiler:Before revealing herself as a lady [[EvilAllAlong in league with Balmer,]] Trichia was just somebody who struck up a conversation with Ms. Green in a tavern. Though the chat was fairly lengthy, it lasted 2 webpages in a plot arc that spanned over 200 webpages.]]
* TheDrifter: Describes herself as "something of a vesselhopper."
* HeroKiller: Shot Maggie and Staph.
* FantasticRacism: Though it doesn't stop her from taking a shine to Ms. Green right away.
* KilledMidSentence:[[spoiler:I'll blast it faster'n you can say-]]
* MacGuffinDeliveryService: Trichia plays this trope out like some single-celled [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Rene Belloq.]]
* NiceHat
* PunnyName: Trichomoniasis... but also, Trichia is a ''tricky'' sort.
* RammingAlwaysWorks: [[spoiler:When the Dolphin rams itself into Trichia, it works very well at ending her life.]]
* TheShill: Trichia shilled what Balmer offered to whoever would listen to her in the bacteria village.
* WorfHadTheFlu: Especially right after vanquishing the Immense Thing, Ms. Green's companions were strong enough to've mowed down Trichia and her posse of molecoids under normal circumstances. Then the audience learns that fusions such as the one which [[FusionDance formed Staphielle]] left their participants physically exhausted.
--> '''Trichia''': After a fusion I'm surprised you have the energy to stand.

!! Magatha

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/9bb2f010d03c114f4d94624b5f6a1b1f.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The greatest wiseass on the Inert Vessel.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So-
--> '''Magatha''': A mysterious book, you say? Interesting! That's for something with an optical sense. Apprentice Maggie has been my eyes since I embedded. She will no doubt be happy to take a look at it.
--> '''Ms. Green''': O...okay...do you kno-
--> '''Magatha''': -w anything about Celia?

A wise all-knowing sage who dwells in a pus march. Friend to Staph, mentor to Maggie, and counselor to Miss Green.
----
* AllLovingHero: In terms of WHO she is... Magatha has a heart and soul of 24-karat gold. The less said about [[NauseaFuel WHAT she is]]… the better.
* BlindSeer: An interesting variation on this trope. Magatha DOES possess seeing eyes, but since so much of herself has currently buried itself, she is effectively blind at the time Miss Green meets with her.
* PunnyName: 'Maggot,' just like Maggie, her younger counterpart. In fact, Magatha represents the first instance in ''Awful Hospital'' where two names derive from the same root pun.
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat: The Oracle Knew You Would Say That.
* TalkingPoo: Talking Maggot Anus. [[IAmNotMakingThisUpDisclaimer This'll take some explaining.]] See... Magatha's a maggot who's about to undergo a metamorphosis into an adult. To that end, her whole upper body has instinctively 'embedded' itself 'underflesh.' Her buried head has entered a mindless involuntary feeding/burrowing state. ''Somehow,'' though, all her higher brain functions have been redirected to her anus. Magatha is able to speak through her anus as though it were a mouth.
* WeHardlyKnewYe: Magatha doesn't get that many webcomic pages before her transmigration.

[[folder: The Worms]]

!! All Worms In General

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/27ad8c83bd15771550bf1d4d1e4beca8.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The Worms Crawl In.]]

--> ''Biovessel exploration date @I*/#*388''
--> ''An interesting characteristic of the Mortizonal vermifauna are the physiological configurations they may assimilate from the fading concept-core of their food source. Anything encountered, believed, or considered by a biovessel during its functional period may influence the form, function, and behavior of worm scavengers as they tunnel in and out of the vessel's residual layers. Unfamiliar as I am with the functional history of Inert sub-concept vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990, I can hardly begin to guess the significance of the vermiform which as of this writing has masticated, digested, and excreted nearly 32% of my own corporeal shell.''

An incalculable legion of worms, who've see fit to wriggle their way from the Morgue into the Inert Vessel, ''en masse,'' with the intent of stuffing their guts. At first, they almost [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/229.html completely ignore]] Ms. Green altogether, but grow [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/337.html increasingly hostile]] towards her and her team as time progresses.

* AuthorAppeal: Bogleech LOVES designing these creatures.
* CastOfSnowflakes: No two are alike.
* FisherKingdom: As stated above, the worms 'assimilate' their 'physiological configurations' from Ms. Green's memories.
* ImAHumanitarian: They've all migrated here, en masse, to consume Green's corpse. Several of them will attack the small, living Ms. Green as well.
* {{Jerkass}}: Thus far, the nicest worms have been ones that ignore Ms. Green completely.
* MonstrousCannibalism: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/260.html Worms]] have been observed eating [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/261.html other worms.]]
* SeriousBusiness: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinochle Pinochle.]] They are mad about it to the point where they're willing to use a pinochle game to [[DuelsDecideEverything permanently determine]] who is predator and who is prey across all the multiverse.
--> '''Referee Worm''': THE LOSING PARTY SHALL BE HONORED VIA CONSUMPTION BY THE WINNING PARTY ACROSS ALL EXISTING AND POTENTIAL ITERATIONS OF THE REALITY SPECTRUM.
* TalkingAnimal: Many of them are capable of speaking English. And all of them truly are '''animals.'''
* TheBully: Savagely abusing their intended prey -- physically, emotionally, and verbally -- fills worms with despicable satisfaction.
--> '''Gasworm''': [[{{Jerkass}} OoOOh!]] Touched a nerve, have I?! I thought this tasted like a juicy form!
* YourWorstNightmare: Worms' bodies can physically adapt themselves to become nightmarish, wormy approximations of things an approaching foe dreads most. And they have an uncanny sixth sense of what to ''say'' in their new forms to further distress their foes.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Why did it...say those things...
--> '''Maggie''': Probably manifestated from yer core; cobbled together a bioform from yer experiences n' anxieties.

!!Chest Worm

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/77b97197238edabb4dbd4040011637a0.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:None too genre savvy, are ya?]]

--> '''Chest Worm''': Who would really leave such a beautiful handsome box in a crummy place like this!? I'm gonna eat ya up.

A monstrous worm passing itself off as a treasure chest.

* ChestMonster: Though many of the Commentators suspected he might be this right from the start.
* EvilGloating: Right off the bat, he lets Ms. Green knows he means to [[ImAHumanitarian to devour her.]] As well as gloating in general.
* MilesGloriosus: [[spoiler: The moment he sees Ms. Green brandish an actual weapon at him, Chest Worm loses interest in eating her, and leaves sniffily.]]
* MindReading: It's very possible he's this. How else would he sense that the Commentators were onto him?
--> '''Chest Worm''': (first spoken words) DUMMY! They totally called it!!
** It's later [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/266.html confirmed]] that most worms can perceive "parazonal conceptual feedback", i.e. the voices of the Commentators.
* NonCombatantImmunity: Averted with him. [[spoiler: then [[InvertedTrope inverted]], once Ms. Green acquires the sharpened pipe.]]
* SuddenlyVoiced: He's the very first worm shown to speak.

!! The Moldsucker (Mildred M. Sucker)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/330f621e76d54196131ccb0d4fe83920.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Ferocious fungal focus.]]

--> '''Moldsucker''': Muh-muh-mmuh-mmMMMMOoOoOOoooOOOoOOLLLLLLD!!!

A true behemoth of a worm, moldsuckers have an infamously insatiable hunger for fungisapients, and will hunt them over vast distances. This particular individual - Mildred M. Sucker, was the first Moldsucker encountered by Miss Green and Celia.

* AwakeningTheSleepingGiant
* BigCreepyCrawlies: The most enormous worm Ms. Green has encountered in the Inert Vessel to date.
* GulliverTieDown
* NightmareFace
* PunnyName: 'M. Sucker?'
* KingOfGames: Queen Of Pinochle.
* SingleTargetSexuality: She disregards Ms. Green completely as though she's not even there.
* StalkerWithoutACrush: She's now one to Celia.
* SuperPersistentPredator: According to Celia, Moldsuckers will pursue a fungusapient until one or the other is dead.
* SuperSpeed
--> '''Celia''': A hungry Moldsucker moves like lightning!
* SuperToughness: The inside of her stomach.
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': Can't we just cut our way out? Or use that repellant stu-]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Celia''': No. That thing is easily [[RolePlayingGameTerms AC60.]][[note]]'AC60' means: Armor Class 60. Bogleech rolls with a 20-sided dice, making Mildred's stomach effectively invulnerable.[[/note]]]]
* SwallowedWhole: Her opening move in the Pinochle match.
* UngratefulBastard: Ms. Green convinces Celia not to kill her. Later, she excitedly volunteers to be the worms' representative in their pinochle game against Miss Green and her friends. [[spoiler:Few moments later however, she hurls them back out elsewhere [[IOweYouMyLife in gratitude]] for them not slaying her back when they had the chance]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Parliament]]

!! The Parliament

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/theparliament.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[spoiler: Family 2]]]]

--> '''Picture Book''': THINGS KEPT FLAGRANTLY '''EXISTING''' and REMORSELESSLY '''NOT BEING''' THE CAKE, ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POOR CAKE'S '''PRECIOUS, VIRGINAL EYES.''' EVERYTHING BECAME [[RuinedForever RUINED AND DISGUSTING]] FOREVER. Soon, all that remained of the cake were a few small crumbs. But the crumbs… '''remembered.'''

A bunch of twisted, gnarled, [[SinisterGeometry sinister alien]] [[TheMonolith stalagmite-like monoliths]] that exist... somewhere. Long ago, they used to be the crumbs of a primordial being.

* AbsoluteXenophobe: In the storybook, the cake was highly distressed and offended by everything that wasn't itself. Probably didn't help that all those non-cake things [[ProperlyParanoid were out to eat it, though.]] The Parliament feels the same hatred towards everything else.
* AllThereInTheManual: How we know they're called [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/theparliament.png 'The Parliament.']]
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: While the Parliament themselves are all stony grays and browns you'd expect of stalagmites, there is a specific shade of red that's come to be associated with them; a red-tinted picture of [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything bacteria under a microscope.]] It's first seen in the sky within the image being used for Redbert, just below.
* ConnectedAllAlong: The first time we see The Parliament, it looks like they might be some disconnected bit of quick, random spookiness, à la [[WesternAnimation/HalloweenIsGrinchNight everything in the Grinch's Paraphernalia Wagon.]] Nope.
* FromNobodyToNightmare: If we take the storybook at face value, The Parliament originated from the crumbs of a ''sapient birthday cake.'' A cake that wouldn't have looked out of place next to [[Franchise/HelloKitty Hello Kitty.]]
* OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: All we know with absolute certainty about the Parliament is that they're a malicious bunch.
* ThePowerOfHate: The primordial being/"Birthday Cake" was reduced to crumbs in a state of hatred. Somehow, those crumbs grew upwards into ominous stalagmite-like formations, remembering that hatred.
* SecretOtherFamily: Every page in ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' isn't just numbered, but cleverly titled as well. The Parliament's debut comes on page #184, with them looming over the crib of Ms. Green's baby. [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/archive.html Scroll down the webcomic's archive and see for yourself]] what #184's been titled.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: The first snatch of concrete information about The Parliament comes in the form of an 11-page children's picture book Ms. Green buys in an item shop. A picture book whose publisher chose to hire the same bookbinder that made [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/necronomicon_5873.jpg the Necronomicon]]... with humanoid facial flesh peering out from the [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/bookspooky.png front cover.]] It was also originally chained up, and is known to have funny mental effects on its readers.

!! Redbert

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-11.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One of these things is not like the others.]]

--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green's Son''': hole frend]]

An enormous red worm that seems to be specifically affiliated with The Parliament.
----
* AllThereInTheManual: As with The Parliament, itself, this is how [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/redbert.gif we know Redbert's name.]]
* BigCreepyCrawlies: He's a large worm that resembles a frog's tongue.
* MeaningfulName: Redbert's red.
* SilentAntagonist
* TokenEnemyMinority: The one known non-stalagmite within the Parliament's ranks.
* WallMaster: First show coming into the gray zone through some kind of hole [[spoiler: in the ceiling over Ms. Green's son's crib.]]

!! The Birthday Cake

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-1.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:…And there was NEVER EVER anything else. Everything was just fine.]]

--> '''Picture Book''': The Cake enjoyed being the ONLY THING there EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Until, without warning, it began to feel UNWELL. As the innocent, sweet cake grew increasingly ILL, things began being that were '''NOT CAKE.'''

A character seen only in a picture book, but one that hints to major backstory. A primordial being that existed in itself before the Zones came to be and it slowly deteriorated into what is now the Parliament. It's unclear if it was an ''actual'' cake or if it's just allegorical though.
----
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: It wasn't able to comprehend that something other than itself may exist, and felt such an intense hatred of the Zones because of this that its remains became the Parliament, running purely on ThePowerOfHate.
* EldritchAbomination: If it's not literally cake, than it's surely this. Probably it's this even if it ''is'' cake.
* EmphasizeEverything: The author of the Birthday Cake's story does this to convey QUITE a BIT of the Cake's ''INTENSE, HIGH-STRUNG EMOTION'' and '''DEEP, ABIDING RESENTMENT AT ALL THE UNFAIRNESS IT SUFFERED''' in the tale's written prose, combined liberally with '''RainbowText.'''
* TheHermit: The first thing we learn about the Birthday Cake is how perfectly happy it was in nothingness and solitude.
* ItsAllAboutMe: It was quite a narcissistic little dessert.
* MakeThemRot: Like any normal real-life cake that's left uneaten for too long… cultures of microorganisms eventually settled upon the Birthday Cake, and it decayed completely as nature took its course.
* StartOfDarkness: Its whole story.

!! The Dolphin(s?)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dreamwake.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Ms. Green snaps awake from a nightmare of dark evildoers of great and terrible porpoise.]]

--> '''Dolphin''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/hellofremb.html HELLO FREMB.]]

Shortly after they'd read through the storybook on the Parliament's origins, Ms. Green and Maggie both fell fast asleep. Ms. Green then proceeded to have a series of dreams about "many things [she'd] seen and some things that [she] hasn't." Culminating in one particularly frightful monster that definitely fell into the latter category. A monster that addressed her as 'Fremb.' It wouldn't be all that long before they began appearing in the waking world... Apparently sent by the Parliament to find the Exvironator.

----

[[folder: The Patients]]

!!Runny Nose (Nobody Nose)

[[quoteright:335:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/nobodynose_2517.png]]
[[caption-width-right:335:Got a truckload of Kleenex?]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': ...name a place that isn't the hospital.
--> '''Nobody Nose''': A pwace that's ''WHAT!?!'' ...That's ''WHAT!?'' A pwace that's ''WHAT!?! WHAT!?!?''

This adorable nose-monster has been admitted to the hospital thanks to an infestation of kidney stones. He's loud and excitable, though not without a lot of heart.

* AnimateBodyParts
* CityInABottle: And he cannot conceive that anything might exist beyond that bottle.
* ElmuhFuddSyndwome
--> '''Ms. Green''': Can you tell me about the staff here?
--> '''Nobody Nose''': Oh! They'we wondewfuw! If you go back in you'we woom I'm suwe the nuwse wiww get awound to you some day. Maybe she can even fix how gwoss you'we face wooks.
* NoseNuggets: Wet, slimy mucus is '''all over''' his hospital room, slathered over the entirety of his bed.
* PunnyName

!!Gooey Pink Eyes (Eyeda Sorrit)

[[quoteright:265:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/gooey_eyes_7852.png]]
[[caption-width-right:265:EYE am what EYE am.]]

--> '''Gooey Pink Eyes''': Ey, yer a doctah right? Can't ya gimme a look-see before ya run off again? EYE'm dyin here!

A pair of giant eyeballs beset by an aggressive infection of parasitic clowns who just happens to be female. She loves infuriating puns.

* AllThereInTheManual: Gooey Pink Eyes' real name is [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-eyeda.png 'Eyeda Sorrit.'']]
* AnimateBodyParts
* FunetikAksent: A Boston accent.
* {{Oculothorax}}: She's a variant, two huge eyeballs and a dangling vestigial body.
* PunnyName: 'I'd-a saw-it.'
* PungeonMaster: ''EYE'' cannot even begin to tell you...

!!Oozing Skull

[[quoteright:302:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/skull_4670.png]]
[[caption-width-right:302: LUDICROUS SPEED!!!]]

--> '''Oozing Skull''': Hee hee! HEEHEEHEE! ''VROOM VROOM!'' HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHUEUHEUHHEUH!!!

A mess of bleeding brains tumbling out of a broken skull, with a pair of normal-sized eyes still attached who bears an uncanny resemblance to a snail. He dreams of going superfast but he's really, really superslow.

* TheApprentice: Becomes one to the Crooked Spine.
* AnimateBodyParts
* ADogNamedDog
* IJustWantToBeSpecial: Speedy in this case.
* FasterThanLightTravel: When Ms. Green picks up Oozing Skull and races him over to Crooked Spine… in reality, it's at a velocity you would expect of a normal human woman in a hurry. But the unbelievably slow-paced Oozing Skull perceives the experience as this. It blows his mind and he '''loves''' it.
* NiceHat: After Crooked Spine takes him under his bony wing.
* NoodleIncident: Incident 00/V/3948
* SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud
* SolidGoldPoop: Crooked Spine accepts blood as currency for his wares. Guess what's oozing out of Skull in vast quantities?
* TheUnintelligible

!!Sickly Stomach

[[quoteright:257:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sickly_stomach_9523.png]]
[[caption-width-right:257:Compulsive capsule connoisseur.]]

--> '''Sickly Stomach''': Tasties! MORE TASTIES!!!

A stomach and a bunch of vomit that are somehow collectively one consciousness. He's hopelessly addicted to gas pills, which leads to more vomiting.

* AnimateBodyParts
* BigEater: Huge surprise for a stomach, I know.
* GRatedDrug: To quote his medical file: ''Patient suffers severe addiction to gastro-intestinal medication native to a foreign zone, resulting in diminished cognitive abilities.''
* NoNameGiven: Even his official file lists him as [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-stomach.png 'That Barf Guy.']]
* TheSymbiote: With the stomach as 'host,' and the vomit as 'guest.'
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Gas pills. Consumes them like Skittles.

!!Depressed Spleen (Spleonard Spleenus)

[[quoteright:199:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/depressed_spleen_4456.png]]
[[caption-width-right:199:Woe is he.]]

--> '''Depressed Spleen''': Oh, it's you again. I take it you're here so you can leave again in disgust. That seems to be the only reason anybody bothers to visit. I think they make a game of it. I don't know if they're keeping score, but I've been doing it for them, at least.

A disembodied spleen who isn't happy unless he's miserable and will talk for hours about his real or imagined problems. His greatest wish is to get a real disease so he can complain even more.

* AllThereInTheManual: His real name, [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-spleen.png 'Spleonard Spleenus.''']]
* AnimateBodyParts
* AnnoyingPatient
* AttentionWhore: Willing to give himself malaria just to have one of the nurses be forced to pay attention to him.
%%* DeadpanSnarker
* TheEeyore: Constantly and without variation.
* NoRomanticResolution: Really, it's hard to tell where Spleonard even stands, where Molly is concerned.
--> '''Spleen's Blog Post''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogspleen.html I suppose if I ranked]] every sapioid I've ever had the displeasure of interacting with on a scale from "insufferably dreadful" to "could have still somehow been worse, against all odds," I might actually have to come up with a new rank for Miss Curdle. Not a higher one...but not a lower one, either. Another column. Another kind of wretched. A kind that...makes some kind of sense, for once. There's something about the way she keeps subjecting herself to my presence slightly beyond the bare minimum required to fulfill her trivial duties.
* SpellMyNameWithAnS: On Dr. Phage's file, his name is written: 'Spleonard.' On the website's official Character Page, it's spelled [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/characters.html 'Sploenard.']]
* {{Unperson}}: At some point, Dr. Phage ceased acknowledging the Spleen's existence, to the point of mentally blotting him out of his physical perception.
* UselessSpleen:
--> '''Depressed Spleen:''' The most anyone ever thinks of spleens is how remarkably unremarkable they are among the major organs.

!!Crooked Spine (Cobb Angus)

[[quoteright:186:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crooked_spine_9478.png]]
[[caption-width-right:186:Don't delay, buy today!]]

--> '''Crooked Spine''': OH, the pain! THE PAIN OF IT ALL! ...The pain of sitting on all THESE INCREDIBLE LIMITED-TIME OFFERS! LORD ALMIGHTY, WILL NOBODY RELIEVE ME FROM THE ''[[PungeonMaster BACK-BREAKING DUTY]]'' OF HOLDING ONTO ALL THESE ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME BARGAINS!? IS THERE NO RESPITE, ''[[IncrediblyLamePun NO BACKING OUT]]'' FROM THE TORMENT OF CARRYING SUCH A BROAD SELECTION OF BRAND-NAME QUALITY PRODUCTS AT ''BLOWOUT'' PRICES!? BUY NOW, AND YOU'LL RECEIVE NOT ONE, NOT TEN, BUT TWO COMPLIMENTARY GIFTS AT ALMOST NO EXTRA CHARGE TO YOU, THE VALUED CUSTOMER. THESE TORTUROUSLY AGONIZING DEALS HAVE TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!

A twisted vertebral column salesman that's managed to smuggled his wares into the hospital. He can give you some pretty useful(?) stuff, but it comes at a price.

* AllThereInTheManual: The Spine's real name, Cobb Angus, is only mentioned in his character file.
* AnimateBodyParts
* BusmansVocabulary: Inverted with The Spine. Though he's no medic, himself, he still weaves a noticeable number of medical buzzwords into his [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-spine.png sales pitches.]]
* HonestJohnsDealership: He runs one of these out of his hospital room.
* MotorMouth: Ms. Green leaves Crooked Spine's room mid-salespitch, and he doesn't even notice. Several minutes later, she returns just in time for him to wrap his spiel up.
* NiceHat: A snazzy fedora.
* PunnyName: "Cobb Angus" is a pun on the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobb_angle Cobb angle]], used to measure scoliosis.
* TheMentor: He becomes this to the Oozing Skull.
* WeirdCurrency: Blood.

!!The Bloodstain

[[quoteright:348:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bloodstain_1726.png]]
[[caption-width-right:348: Not as flat, dry, or lifeless as appearances might suggest.]]

-->'''The Bloodstain''': (to Dr. Phleboto, while The Mother hides under his bed) Land sakes, son! Ya lit'rally JUST missed her! Lil lady moves like an oiled-up slorvem on rupturin's eve! Ya better hurry, purdy thing could be chewin' on the tubes already!

An animate bloodstain. They're the first patient Ms. Green encounters, as well as her first ally in The Hospital.

* DatingCatwoman: Currently has The X-Ray Skeleton as their love interest... who killed the very woman they, themselves, saved.
* FunetikAksent: Theirs is Texan.
* GuardianAngel: The closest analogue to one in the comic and one of Ms. Green's closest allies. They're the only entity aside from Nobody Nose to express concern about Ms. Green's well-being or situation.
* HeWentThatWay: Saves Ms. Green from being captured by Dr. Mizer by doing this when she's hiding under their bed.
* ItIsDehumanizing: Within the official prose, Ms. Green refers to The Bloodstain as [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/014.html 'it,']] (she was ''very'' new to The Hospital at the time, and a sapient bloodstain had her flummoxed.) But the author of the comic's offical [[WordOfGod blog]] places the Bloodstain as [[http://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/131514683703/theres-a-minor-drama-over-on-the-awful-hospital nonbinary, for their extremely alien species.]]
* TheQuiet: After tricking Dr. Mizer into moving on, The Mother crawls out from under The Bloodstain's bed, expresses her gratitude, and tries to ask them questions about the hospital. Through it all, they remain completely silent and unmoving.
* TastesLikeFriendship: When Ms. Green places a cupcake that's on a nearby counter onto them, The Bloodstain seems to appreciate it.
* VillainessesWantHeroes: The X-Ray Skeleton is their girlfriend.

!! Sickly Spore-Son and His Mom

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/9d96bd656f46f0698424fc669e49bbe5.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:These two were smart to entrust their health to this doctor.]]

--> '''Dr. Phage''': Sorry for the wait, Madame! How's the little one, this spiraling?

A young bedridden patient of Phage's and his mother.

* ArtShift: Of the photoshopped photograph variety.
* BlatantLies: "Discharge papers."
* LittlestCancerPatient
* NoNameGiven
* StarfishLanguage: We're informed they speak 'sarcastic umami long division.'
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: A green-colored mother and her ill son… hmm, why does that sound so familiar?
* WeHardlyKnewYe

!! Human Patient From "Dr. Phage's Hospital"

--> '''Ms. Green''': If it's for real, then we aren't the first human beings to wake up in the Hospital like that…
--> '''Staph''': That seems comforting to know.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Yeah, but... it doesn't end well… it almost feels like a threat. Something wants me to know that this person never went home...

[[http://www.bogleech.com/creepy/creepybog-drphage.html Dr. Phage's Hospital]] was the second of the three Noisy Tenant [[{{Creepypasta}} creepypastas]] penned by Bogleech before his creation of Awful Hospital. It is the story of a fastidiously germophobic man who winds up in The Hospital and is horrorstruck to discover Drs. Phage, Mizer, plus a third, as-yet-unnamed doctor are his physicians here. They are about to subject him to a horrible operation, but he succeeds in escaping by claiming to need the men's room. The story ends with the man revealing this all took place a year ago, by his estimation. He's still ill, and has been completely unable to locate any way out of the Hospital.

His story was the first to be [[CanonWelding officially welded into ''Awful Hospital'' canon]], after Professor Lexicovermus gave Ms. Green a copy of ''Doctor Phage's Hospital'' to read.

* BathroomBreakout: How he escaped being operated on by Dr. Phage. Because he specifically asked for the men's room, we at least know his gender.
* ChekhovsGunman: The third physician accompanying Drs. Mizer and Phage. Never officially appeared in Webcomic/AwfulHospital yet:
--> ''This monstrosity (Dr. Mizer) was quickly followed by a third entity… This one was by far the most unpleasant, a wet-looking, otherwise featureless glob of giant, gelatinous boils and sores, pulsating at various rhythms. One spindly, nearly skeletal little arm, its only visible appendage, controlled its ancient-looking electric wheelchair.''
* IronicHell: Next to everything The Hospital features, all the "everyday street trash" and their "sticky-fingered children" surely aren't looking quite so intolerable to this man in retrospect. Plus, he never got over his sickness.
* LowerClassLout: What this snotty elitist believed anyone of a lower income level to be. He treated them all like health hazards.
--> '''Human Patient''': I... avoided any contact I could with common sources of filth. Not difficult when you work a [[NouveauRiche real, respectable job.]] The kind with your own [[PointyHairedBoss private office.]] The kind where you never need to take the bus, [[UpperClassTwit do your own shopping]] or otherwise share air with [[SlobsVersusSnobs Wal-Mart shoppers.]]
* NoNameGiven: Miss Green wasn't the first human admitted to the Hospital that was terrible at giving introductions.
* OntologicalMystery: This man remembers scheduling an appointment with "a rather high priced local clinic" over the phone before going to bed in his bedroom. From there, he was somehow teleported straight into a Hospital exam room while still sleeping.
* TerrifiedOfGerms: By his own admission. This bestowed him with [[NeatFreak ''impeccable grooming skills"]] in the grey zone. And dismal socialization skills. And must've surely exacerbated his horror and misery over being trapped in The Hospital by a thousandfold.
* WanderingJew: The man's been searching the Hospital for an exit an awfully long time…
* WhateverHappenedToTheMouse: Once she returns to the Hospital, we can only hope Ms. Green finds out what became of this guy.

[[folder: The Burgrr, Inc. Personnel]]
!!Harmburger

[[quoteright:349:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/harmburger_662.png]]
[[caption-width-right:349:Kiss the cook.]]

--> It's a hamburger. Or maybe it's a cheeseburger. Whatever. Things squirm in its rancid, dribbling ground beef. Its unblinking eyeballs bulge hungrily. It's such a ludicrous sight you almost don't notice the blood-stained cleaver.

This rotting assembly of meat, wheat products and bugs is employed as a chef at the hospital's cafeteria. Though he might look simple, he's surprisingly agile with a meat cleaver.

* AbhorrentAdmirer: Harmburger's NOT comfortable when Ms. Green begins hitting on him.
* AmbiguouslyEvil
* AnthropomorphicFood
* BewareTheSillyOnes: If the cleaver wasn't enough warning. He's also been [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-harmburger.png warned]] against infiltrating the hospital for [[ParanoiaFuel reasons unknown]].
--> '''Dr. Phage:''' "On a more personal note, ''yeesh'', this guy."
* ChefOfIron: When there's an enemy to fight, Harmburger brings out his cleaver.
* ExpressiveMask: Harmburger's body is thoroughly infested with vermin that form facial expressions for him. He even anime-sweatdrops... with a blue slug.
* LethalChef
* MuckMonster: Every bit as much one as Trubbish and Garbodor from the Pokemon series.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast
* NiceHat: Few, indeed, can wear a brain parasite so stylishly.
* TheSecretOfLongPorkPies
* TheSpeechless

!!BBQ Girll

[[quoteright:344:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bbqgirll_6225.png]]
[[caption-width-right:344:Garrulous, gleeful, genki grill girl.]]

--> '''BBQ Girll''': We will need to [[TechnoBabble conceptualize the appropriate deverberator, and unfortunately, we are not cleared for manifestation outside our conceptual zones.]] We will need you to bring back the correct materials from The Hospital.
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...What kind of "materials?"
--> '''BBQ Girll''': Don't sweat it, bubbleguts, [[QuestGiver we made you]] [[FetchQuest a list]].

An anthropomorphic barbecue grill with corporate cheer and spirit to spare. She appears to manage the Burgrr facility adjacent to(?) the hospital's cafeteria.

* BewareTheSillyOnes
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: Thought it would be a real treat for Ms. Green to [[spoiler:eat herself]].
* CloudCuckoolander
* CuteAndPsycho: She really, ''really'' likes edible BodyHorror.
* DissonantSerenity: She never stops smiling...
* EatsBabies: After ([[TimeyWimeyBall so to speak]]) brains, they discovered gray-zoner genitalia. Babies come ''pre-marinated''.
* GameFace: ...even in her nightmarish, hot-grease-oozing alternate form. Well... [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/146 almost]] never.
* HollywoodTourettes: A non-profanity-based version.
--> '''BBQ Girll''': ''We'' are not of The Hospital. We are of the MARVELOUS FOOD DREAM!!! 1000% EAT!!!
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...What?
--> '''BBQ Girll''': What's what? Look, chesterflap, if you've branched correctly you should be perceiving the MEAT TIMES ETERNITY, FLESH FOR A WORLD OF MEALENATING.
* NiceHat: Her grill cover serves as a hat.
* TheNicknamer: 'Meatlet,' '[[{{Foreshadowing}} joemaam]],' 'bugprince', 'kangaroo,' 'crablocks…' and those are just the first few.
* PerkyFemaleMinion
* PlayingWithFire: In combat, her weapon of choice is some kind of [[OurGhostsAreDifferent toothy charcoal ghost thing]] that she keeps under her hat.
* UnexplainedRecovery: As told in the original ''The Burgrr Entries'' and later mentioned by BBQ Girll in her blog, she had her "bio-core" smashed with a shovel. She got better and seemed to treat the entire incident as just a minor annoyance.
* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: Now enjoy your [[spoiler:complimentary [[{{Autocannibalism}} autoconceptual foodmatters]]!]]

!!Double Doors(?!?!)

[[quoteright:334:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ddoors_1510.png]]
[[caption-width-right:334:You're not leaving on an empty stomach.]]

--> '''Double Doors''': There's only one way out of here with that thing, and you're prooobably not gonna like it near as much as I am. [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor It's really really funny to me.]]

The doors leading into the hospital's cafeteria, which can speak directly into the protagonist's mind. It's witty and generally friendly, though it does push the cafeteria's meals a tad aggressively.

* AffablyEvil: Just a highly enthusiastic... salesdoor.
* EldritchAbomination: [[spoiler:Dear God, [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/163 what IS that thing?!?!]] BBQ Girll's CharacterBlog [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogbbq.html implies]] that it's [[GrewBeyondTheirProgramming grown beyond its programming]] in ways that are worrying even the Burgrr staff.]]
* FoodChains: [[spoiler:The Double Doors want Ms. Green to eat that sloppy joe the way [[Literature/TheLionTheWitchAndTheWardrobe Jadis wanted Edmund Pevensie to eat her Turkish Delight.]]]]
* HollywoodTourettes: Another non-profanity-based version.
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...What did you say you were the doors to, again?
--> '''Double Doors''' Huh? I didn't say. What are youu'''ULTIMATE FEAST MATTER SINGS A SECRET MEAL TIME WISH'''abbling on about?
* NoSell: Ms. Green attempts to smuggle the sloppy joe out of the cafeteria by stowing it into her hyperspace tote bag. Double Doors remains firmly closed.
* OurDoorsAreDifferent: Door-ish, sapient, highly persuasive circuit webs, to be precise.
* ThisCannotBe: [[spoiler:Double Doors is rather astonished that the 'weapon' Ms. Green selects to defeat him ends up working.]]
* TheUnpronounceable: Good luck getting [[spoiler:)(_)(]] through a human throat.
* VillainOverride: [[spoiler:What an M1 Abrams tank is to forceful entry, Double Doors is to MindControl. He doesn't ''merely'' try to hypnotize Ms. Green, he '''barrages''' her mind with psychic coercion, and even [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/162 reaches past the fourth wall to 'edit' the words of the Commentators who're screaming at Ms. Green to resist his influence, so it looks like they're agreeing with him.]]]]
* WeaksauceWeakness: [[spoiler: A yellow sticky note on which the words 'Out Of Order Sorry' are written beside a frowny face.]]
* WhamLine:
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': The mouth guy…]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Double Doors''': Forget him.]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': ...but he has a key I nee-]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Double Doors''': No, not him. Your kid. Forget him. >Eat your sandwich. You've earned it!]]

[[folder: The Morgue]]

!!Stone Slab
[[quoteright:350: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/awfulhospitalstoneslab_1436.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Checking in?]]

--> '''Stone Slab:''' I dunno, the stiffs all look alike to us anyway. ...Like a paycheck! Haha!!

A cracked tombstone who looks after The Morgue. He’s one of the friendlier and more forthcoming individuals Ms. Green meets, and is happy to put on some music and have a chat.

* BizarreAlienLocomotion: He floats somehow, manifests an arm when he needs it, and is weirded out by the concept of legs.
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: As usual for the Hospital. His views of life and death are a bit off:
--> '''Stone Slab:''' A body’s just a bunch of different stuff in one place, legs. All that changes is which parts eat and which parts get eaten.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: A certain retro video game produced by [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/206 Namco,]] perchance?
* ForgetfulJones: According to him, at least.
* GallowsHumor: As his quote shows. It probably comes easily when you don't have a neck or a concept of death.
* HelpfulMook: He’s there to do his job and doesn’t much care to ask questions.
--> '''Stone Slab:''' Stick to what you think is normal and you’ll be fine. For me, The Morgue is normal. We all belong to our own respective [[TechnoBabble Class 9 autoperceptual omnimaterial repeating concept spirals…]]
* HeroicSacrifice
* TheLittleShopThatWasntThereYesterday: The first time Ms. Green peeks inside the locked morgue's window, she sees a fairly conventional-looking morgue. By the time she returns with the morgue key, that room has been inexplicably replaced by Stone Slab's elevator.
* NiceHat: A bellhop's hat.
* RockMonster: A very non-monstrous version.

!!The Revourer
[[quoteright:400:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/f61851e9f4fc69cce23d06b29f918b4a.png]]
[[caption-width-right:400:WAKKA WAKKA]]

--> '''Stone Slab:''' Run for your deaths!

A huge monster which prowls the Morgue.

* BigEater: Without a doubt.
* EvilCounterpart: Of ''Pac-Man!''
* TheMaze: The Morgue, itself, is nothing more than a vast, labyrinthine hunting ground for this Pac-Monster.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Re-vourer. As in: 'one who will devour you numerous times.'
* OrcusOnHisThrone: Should Ms. Green eventually manage to make her way back to The Morgue, she'll still have this guy to contend with before she can set foot in The Hospital again.
* SinisterSilhouettes: So far, all we've seen of the Revourer is his spherical shadow on the wall.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Library]]
!! Professor Lexicovermus

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lithovermus.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: "Books are uniquely portable magic." -- Stephen King]]

--> '''Professor Lexicovermus''': For no charge at all, I'll letcha nice morsels pick out ONE fiiine item from your ever-growin' shelf here at our faaantabulous intrazonal omnipotentual library! Whatever ya pick out, I can pass on to anybody else ya like! Even this savory green protagonator ya seem to enjoy pushin' around lately! Plenty-a things she don't know yet in all them tasty files n' journals n' whatnot! You pick it out, she gets to read it! Better choose reeeeal careful-like! Next time might be life n' death, ya never do know!

In addition to their ability to guide and direct Miss Green's actions, the Commentators have access to a [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html most uncanny library]] full of special supplemental reading material. Personnel files, blogs… even prose stories, all relating to other characters Miss Green has met. Miss Green isn't able to access any part this library, herself, (apart from material she, herself, has [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/349.html collected in-story.]]) Nor are her well-meaning Commentators able to share any of this library's information to her through commentary.

All that changed in the middle of hunting for the anomaly within the Inert Vessel. Green and her team stumbled upon a strange book, containing this bibliophilic fellow from The Library. He addresses the Commentators directly and cuts a most unusual deal with them: if they promise to read more books from their own [[RealLife local libraries,]] he'll allow Miss Green access to a single item from the Commentators' library. But they have to choose which one.

* AndIMustScream: We can only hope that book the Professor's popping out from is purely a work of fiction. Because if not, that means Professor Lexicovermus transformed some [[BalefulPolymorph human being]] into a series of books, possibly as punishment for not reading enough, and is in the process of [[ImAHumanitarian eating them.]] And the transformed victim in question is still [[EatenAlive self-aware]] while it's happening.
* BenevolentMonsters: Although Professor Lexicovermus was a bookworm first introduced in the Inert Vessel arc, he's not affiliated with any of THOSE worms.
* {{Bookworm}}
* FromBeyondTheFourthWall: Data which was meant for the Commentators' eyes only will be disclosed to Miss Green, thanks to this guy.
* MagicalLibrary: There can be no doubt that the Professor's home zone is every inch as paranormal as The Hospital or Burgrr, Inc.
* MeaningfulName: 'Lexicovermus' is basically Latin for 'bookworm.'
* ReadingIsCoolAesop: The Professor's bargain with the Commentators. Most of them were agreeable to it.
* UnexpectedCharacter

[[/folder]]

[[folder: Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990]]

!! Dr. Everton Morteus Balmer

[[quoteright:360:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/c612229c135ea1763cb48ad9fcc518b5.png]]
[[caption-width-right:300:Embalms cadavers to be used for "recreational purposes." …By which we mean "made into tourist traps."]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': There is a '''bad thing''' polluting this environment, madam. A bad thing so contrary to the matter-law that you would be familiar with, it could very well '''thrive''' under conventional decontamination procedures, unless of course we can correctly identify a sample and adapt our formulation. One miscalculation, one ''pseudo protein'' away from perfection, and this entire vessel could undergo a Category D Extrapaisley Reconfiguration Event! The ''chaos!'' The ''exquisite madness!'' I'm simply swooning with UNIMAGINABLE terror! Mmmm....yesss....

Head mortician of The Morgue. For some reason, he's set up a well-stocked facility out on one particular Inert Sub-Vessel of Miss Green's. [[spoiler: NOTE: For tropes focused on his 'Ascended' form, scroll downward to The Parliament section.]]

* AnimateInanimateObject: Clearly a walking, talking, sentient embalming machine.
* AccidentalMisnaming: He's [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/library.html ridiculously terrible]] at remembering others' names.
* AllLoveIsUnrequited: Dr. Phage won't ''amalgamate zones'' with him. This leaves him pouty.
* CampGay: He's obviously homosexual; he signs his name with hearts, comments on Celia's unfashionable hat on her wanted poster, and seems to be fond of [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/363.html pink]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogbalmer.html glitter.]]
* DepravedHomosexual: Phage spurned Balmer's affections. In retaliation, Balmer wanted to use the anomaly in order to infect all the Hospital's patients with an untreatable disease, in order to utterly ruin Phage financially. Does that sound like the goal of a ''right-minded'' homosexual?
* EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor: Showcased by the ''hilarious'' gag items Balmer leaves for Ms. Green to find in the trash can.
* {{Greed}}: The primary motivating force behind all of Dr. Balmer's actions.
* ItIsDehumanizing: Dr. Balmer does recognize that Ms. Green is female, straight away; (check his quote up above; he calls her 'madam.') Yet, whenever he's NOT attempting to beguile her into performing favors for him, he's loathe to acknowledge her femininity, [[https://www.patreon.com/posts/balmers-files-3225740 vastly preferring]] to call her by the objectifying 'it' pronoun.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': I'm sure some egghead out there would love to [[AlienAutopsy cut it up]] and find out how a grey-zoner initiated post-developmental branchination. Maybe the Recombinators can farm it for [[TheSecretOfLongPorkPies sausage scraps]] and the Effluvious Conglomeration can [[HumanResources patch their silly moonsponge]] with what's left of its core!
** Though when the dolphin endangers his life, he does briefly switch to the gender-neutral 'them,' (but then, this too, amounted to situational brown-nosing. And Ms. Green was never a gender-neutral sort of woman, anyway.)
* ItsAllAboutMe: On top of being swollen with self-importance, Balmer lies, betrays and plots mass murder without remorse, all to profit off the corpses.
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: One word; [[spoiler: DOLPHIN'D.]]
* LargeAndInCharge: Comes naturally when your minions are molecules.
* MeaningfulName: '''Mort'''eus is very befitting of a ''mort''ician, as is '''Ever'''ton, since he keeps his corpses in ''ever''lasting preservation.
* MechanicalLifeforms: A walking, talking, perfectly sapient [[http://embalming-machines.com embalming tank.]]
* NightmareFetishist: Dr. Balmer's a mortician, sworn to keep his cadavers sterilized and well-preserved. And though he's sincerely committed to his duties, the thought of decomposition and infestation, (indeed, of catastrophe in general,) still fills him with perverse glee.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': Can your feeble head-stuffings even fathom the delectable horror of an entire perception zone simply rotting away to nothing? Devoured from within by insatiable vermin!? Oh, the very thought of it tickles my wires with such decadent revulsion!
** When he fuses with the dolphin, his stated goal is to eat the world, just like the worms were doing.
* NoisyRobots: Though he's not actually a robot, Dr. Balmer's body is still a great, bulky metallic contraption, and he CLUNKS loudly whenever he walks.
* ProperlyParanoid: Initially, you might find Dr. Balmer's delfiniphobia to be perplexingly out-of-place, given where he works. ''Initially'' being the key word.
* PunnyName: Dr. E.M. Balmer. 'Embalmer,' folks.
* SourGrapes: Says nothing nice about The Hospital, calling it a 'wasteful diversion' and 'delaying the inevitable,' yet is clearly still upset that Dr. Phage turned down a merger of The Morgue and The Hospital.
* StarterEquipment: Helpfully furnishes Ms. Green with a new satchel to stow inventory in, after her old {{Hammerspace}} tote bag becomes inaccessible.
* StealthInsult: Possibly. The satchel Balmer gives Green is a "MY FIRST JUNIOR BIOVESSEL EXPLORER'S KIT FOR BABIES."
* TechnoBabble: He's as susceptible to this as any of his Hospital counterparts.
--> '''Dr. Balmer''': We're detecting quasimaterial, paraconceptual and even antivibrational wavelengths as deep as the '''sub-seething''' in some cases, and our current paradox may even carry traces of '''hose warblation.'''
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Pickles from pickle jars, according to WordOfGod. Balmer even stored the anomaly, itself, inside an [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/422.html empty pickle jar.]]
* TreacherousQuestGiver: Assigns Ms. Green to 'retrieve' an 'anomaly' from a nearby community of 'contaminoids' and return it to his facility so that he may destroy it. When she and her companions succeed, he has her taken prisoner, with the intention of selling her off to whomever will pay the highest price for her.

!! Methanyll & Hyde

[[quoteright:124:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/methyl.png]]
[[caption-width-right:124:He's Methanyll.]]

[[quoteright:100:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hyde.png]]
[[caption-width-right:124:She's Hyde.]]

--> '''Dr. Balmer''': Welcome, welcome! We've been expecting you! Do come in, won't you? No time to waste!
--> '''Hyde''': Yeah, 'oigent bidness!
--> '''Methanyll''': We've got a selection of fine cheeses!

Two members of Balmer's obedient crew of molecules.

* AdorableEvilMinions: Hyde and Methanyll are but two members of a large crew of sapient molecules in Dr. Balmer's employ.
* CoolShades: Hyde wears a pair of these.
* FoodAsBribe: Methanyll tries to entice Ms. Green into entering Dr. Balmer's workplace with 'a fine selection of cheeses,' unsuccessfully. [[spoiler: However, when he mentions their equally fine selection of alcoholic beverages...]]
* FunetikAksent: Methanyll is described as having a thick English accent, while Hyde's is Bronx.
* MegaMicrobes: Mega-''molecules.''
* NiceHat: The best way of picking Methanyll out of a crowd.
* PunnyName: Methanol and formaldehyde.

!! Trichia

[[quoteright:183:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/trichia.png]]
[[caption-width-right:183:Funny who you meet in a bar.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So... what the heck should I do?
--> '''Trichia''': If it were me? Let 'em take you to the whatchamawozzle, let Balmer contain it and let them figure out the rest on their own. Whatever you're doing this for, you gotta watch out for number one, get it?

A microbe that chatted with Miss Green in a tavern.

* TheDogWasTheMastermind: [[spoiler:Before revealing herself as a lady [[EvilAllAlong in league with Balmer,]] Trichia was just somebody who struck up a conversation with Ms. Green in a tavern. Though the chat was fairly lengthy, it lasted 2 webpages in a plot arc that spanned over 200 webpages.]]
* TheDrifter: Describes herself as "something of a vesselhopper."
* HeroKiller: Shot Maggie and Staph.
* FantasticRacism: Though it doesn't stop her from taking a shine to Ms. Green right away.
* KilledMidSentence:[[spoiler:I'll blast it faster'n you can say-]]
* MacGuffinDeliveryService: Trichia plays this trope out like some single-celled [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Rene Belloq.]]
* NiceHat
* PunnyName: Trichomoniasis... but also, Trichia is a ''tricky'' sort.
* RammingAlwaysWorks: [[spoiler:When the Dolphin rams itself into Trichia, it works very well at ending her life.]]
* TheShill: Trichia shilled what Balmer offered to whoever would listen to her in the bacteria village.
* WorfHadTheFlu: Especially right after vanquishing the Immense Thing, Ms. Green's companions were strong enough to've mowed down Trichia and her posse of molecoids under normal circumstances. Then the audience learns that fusions such as the one which [[FusionDance formed Staphielle]] left their participants physically exhausted.
--> '''Trichia''': After a fusion I'm surprised you have the energy to stand.

!! Magatha

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/9bb2f010d03c114f4d94624b5f6a1b1f.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The greatest wiseass on the Inert Vessel.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': So-
--> '''Magatha''': A mysterious book, you say? Interesting! That's for something with an optical sense. Apprentice Maggie has been my eyes since I embedded. She will no doubt be happy to take a look at it.
--> '''Ms. Green''': O...okay...do you kno-
--> '''Magatha''': -w anything about Celia?

A wise all-knowing sage who dwells in a pus march. Friend to Staph, mentor to Maggie, and counselor to Miss Green.

* AllLovingHero: In terms of WHO she is... Magatha has a heart and soul of 24-karat gold. The less said about [[NauseaFuel WHAT she is]]… the better.
* BlindSeer: An interesting variation on this trope. Magatha DOES possess seeing eyes, but since so much of herself has currently buried itself, she is effectively blind at the time Miss Green meets with her.
* PunnyName: 'Maggot,' just like Maggie, her younger counterpart. In fact, Magatha represents the first instance in ''Awful Hospital'' where two names derive from the same root pun.
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat: The Oracle Knew You Would Say That.
* TalkingPoo: Talking Maggot Anus. [[IAmNotMakingThisUpDisclaimer This'll take some explaining.]] See... Magatha's a maggot who's about to undergo a metamorphosis into an adult. To that end, her whole upper body has instinctively 'embedded' itself 'underflesh.' Her buried head has entered a mindless involuntary feeding/burrowing state. ''Somehow,'' though, all her higher brain functions have been redirected to her anus. Magatha is able to speak through her anus as though it were a mouth.
* WeHardlyKnewYe: Magatha doesn't get that many webcomic pages before her transmigration.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: The Worms]]

!! All Worms In General

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/27ad8c83bd15771550bf1d4d1e4beca8.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:The Worms Crawl In.]]

--> ''Biovessel exploration date @I*/#*388''
--> ''An interesting characteristic of the Mortizonal vermifauna are the physiological configurations they may assimilate from the fading concept-core of their food source. Anything encountered, believed, or considered by a biovessel during its functional period may influence the form, function, and behavior of worm scavengers as they tunnel in and out of the vessel's residual layers. Unfamiliar as I am with the functional history of Inert sub-concept vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990, I can hardly begin to guess the significance of the vermiform which as of this writing has masticated, digested, and excreted nearly 32% of my own corporeal shell.''

An incalculable legion of worms, who've see fit to wriggle their way from the Morgue into the Inert Vessel, ''en masse,'' with the intent of stuffing their guts. At first, they almost [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/229.html completely ignore]] Ms. Green altogether, but grow [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/337.html increasingly hostile]] towards her and her team as time progresses.

* AuthorAppeal: Bogleech LOVES designing these creatures.
* CastOfSnowflakes: No two are alike.
* FisherKingdom: As stated above, the worms 'assimilate' their 'physiological configurations' from Ms. Green's memories.
* ImAHumanitarian: They've all migrated here, en masse, to consume Green's corpse. Several of them will attack the small, living Ms. Green as well.
* {{Jerkass}}: Thus far, the nicest worms have been ones that ignore Ms. Green completely.
* MonstrousCannibalism: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/260.html Worms]] have been observed eating [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/261.html other worms.]]
* SeriousBusiness: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinochle Pinochle.]] They are mad about it to the point where they're willing to use a pinochle game to [[DuelsDecideEverything permanently determine]] who is predator and who is prey across all the multiverse.
--> '''Referee Worm''': THE LOSING PARTY SHALL BE HONORED VIA CONSUMPTION BY THE WINNING PARTY ACROSS ALL EXISTING AND POTENTIAL ITERATIONS OF THE REALITY SPECTRUM.
* TalkingAnimal: Many of them are capable of speaking English. And all of them truly are '''animals.'''
* TheBully: Savagely abusing their intended prey -- physically, emotionally, and verbally -- fills worms with despicable satisfaction.
--> '''Gasworm''': [[{{Jerkass}} OoOOh!]] Touched a nerve, have I?! I thought this tasted like a juicy form!
* YourWorstNightmare: Worms' bodies can physically adapt themselves to become nightmarish, wormy approximations of things an approaching foe dreads most. And they have an uncanny sixth sense of what to ''say'' in their new forms to further distress their foes.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Why did it...say those things...
--> '''Maggie''': Probably manifestated from yer core; cobbled together a bioform from yer experiences n' anxieties.

!!Chest Worm

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/77b97197238edabb4dbd4040011637a0.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:None too genre savvy, are ya?]]

--> '''Chest Worm''': Who would really leave such a beautiful handsome box in a crummy place like this!? I'm gonna eat ya up.

A monstrous worm passing itself off as a treasure chest.

* ChestMonster: Though many of the Commentators suspected he might be this right from the start.
* EvilGloating: Right off the bat, he lets Ms. Green knows he means to [[ImAHumanitarian to devour her.]] As well as gloating in general.
* MilesGloriosus: [[spoiler: The moment he sees Ms. Green brandish an actual weapon at him, Chest Worm loses interest in eating her, and leaves sniffily.]]
* MindReading: It's very possible he's this. How else would he sense that the Commentators were onto him?
--> '''Chest Worm''': (first spoken words) DUMMY! They totally called it!!
** It's later [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/266.html confirmed]] that most worms can perceive "parazonal conceptual feedback", i.e. the voices of the Commentators.
* NonCombatantImmunity: Averted with him. [[spoiler: then [[InvertedTrope inverted]], once Ms. Green acquires the sharpened pipe.]]
* SuddenlyVoiced: He's the very first worm shown to speak.

!! The Moldsucker (Mildred M. Sucker)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/330f621e76d54196131ccb0d4fe83920.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Ferocious fungal focus.]]

--> '''Moldsucker''': Muh-muh-mmuh-mmMMMMOoOoOOoooOOOoOOLLLLLLD!!!

A true behemoth of a worm, moldsuckers have an infamously insatiable hunger for fungisapients, and will hunt them over vast distances. This particular individual - Mildred M. Sucker, was the first Moldsucker encountered by Miss Green and Celia.

* AwakeningTheSleepingGiant
* BigCreepyCrawlies: The most enormous worm Ms. Green has encountered in the Inert Vessel to date.
* GulliverTieDown
* NightmareFace
* PunnyName: 'M. Sucker?'
* KingOfGames: Queen Of Pinochle.
* SingleTargetSexuality: She disregards Ms. Green completely as though she's not even there.
* StalkerWithoutACrush: She's now one to Celia.
* SuperPersistentPredator: According to Celia, Moldsuckers will pursue a fungusapient until one or the other is dead.
* SuperSpeed
--> '''Celia''': A hungry Moldsucker moves like lightning!
* SuperToughness: The inside of her stomach.
--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green''': Can't we just cut our way out? Or use that repellant stu-]]
--> [[spoiler: '''Celia''': No. That thing is easily [[RolePlayingGameTerms AC60.]][[note]]'AC60' means: Armor Class 60. Bogleech rolls with a 20-sided dice, making Mildred's stomach effectively invulnerable.[[/note]]]]
* SwallowedWhole: Her opening move in the Pinochle match.
* UngratefulBastard: Ms. Green convinces Celia not to kill her. Later, she excitedly volunteers to be the worms' representative in their pinochle game against Miss Green and her friends. [[spoiler:Few moments later however, she hurls them back out elsewhere [[IOweYouMyLife in gratitude]] for them not slaying her back when they had the chance]]

[[folder: The Parliament]]

!! The Parliament

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/theparliament.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:[[spoiler: Family 2]]]]

--> '''Picture Book''': THINGS KEPT FLAGRANTLY '''EXISTING''' and REMORSELESSLY '''NOT BEING''' THE CAKE, ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE POOR CAKE'S '''PRECIOUS, VIRGINAL EYES.''' EVERYTHING BECAME [[RuinedForever RUINED AND DISGUSTING]] FOREVER. Soon, all that remained of the cake were a few small crumbs. But the crumbs… '''remembered.'''

A bunch of twisted, gnarled, [[SinisterGeometry sinister alien]] [[TheMonolith stalagmite-like monoliths]] that exist... somewhere. Long ago, they used to be the crumbs of a primordial being.
----
* AbsoluteXenophobe: In the storybook, the cake was highly distressed and offended by everything that wasn't itself. Probably didn't help that all those non-cake things [[ProperlyParanoid were out to eat it, though.]] The Parliament feels the same hatred towards everything else.
* AllThereInTheManual: How we know they're called [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/theparliament.png 'The Parliament.']]
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: While the Parliament themselves are all stony grays and browns you'd expect of stalagmites, there is a specific shade of red that's come to be associated with them; a red-tinted picture of [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything bacteria under a microscope.]] It's first seen in the sky within the image being used for Redbert, just below.
* ConnectedAllAlong: The first time we see The Parliament, it looks like they might be some disconnected bit of quick, random spookiness, à la [[WesternAnimation/HalloweenIsGrinchNight everything in the Grinch's Paraphernalia Wagon.]] Nope.
* FromNobodyToNightmare: If we take the storybook at face value, The Parliament originated from the crumbs of a ''sapient birthday cake.'' A cake that wouldn't have looked out of place next to [[Franchise/HelloKitty Hello Kitty.]]
* OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness: All we know with absolute certainty about the Parliament is that they're a malicious bunch.
* ThePowerOfHate: The primordial being/"Birthday Cake" was reduced to crumbs in a state of hatred. Somehow, those crumbs grew upwards into ominous stalagmite-like formations, remembering that hatred.
* SecretOtherFamily: Every page in ''Webcomic/AwfulHospital'' isn't just numbered, but cleverly titled as well. The Parliament's debut comes on page #184, with them looming over the crib of Ms. Green's baby. [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/archive.html Scroll down the webcomic's archive and see for yourself]] what #184's been titled.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: The first snatch of concrete information about The Parliament comes in the form of an 11-page children's picture book Ms. Green buys in an item shop. A picture book whose publisher chose to hire the same bookbinder that made [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/necronomicon_5873.jpg the Necronomicon]]... with humanoid facial flesh peering out from the [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/bookspooky.png front cover.]] It was also originally chained up, and is known to have funny mental effects on its readers.

!! Redbert

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-11.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One of these things is not like the others.]]

--> [[spoiler: '''Ms. Green's Son''': hole frend]]

An enormous red worm that seems to be specifically affiliated with The Parliament.
----
* AllThereInTheManual: As with The Parliament, itself, this is how [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/redbert.gif we know Redbert's name.]]
* BigCreepyCrawlies: He's a large worm that resembles a frog's tongue.
* MeaningfulName: Redbert's red.
* SilentAntagonist
* TokenEnemyMinority: The one known non-stalagmite within the Parliament's ranks.
* WallMaster: First show coming into the gray zone through some kind of hole [[spoiler: in the ceiling over Ms. Green's son's crib.]]

!! The Birthday Cake

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/book-spooky-1.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:…And there was NEVER EVER anything else. Everything was just fine.]]

--> '''Picture Book''': The Cake enjoyed being the ONLY THING there EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Until, without warning, it began to feel UNWELL. As the innocent, sweet cake grew increasingly ILL, things began being that were '''NOT CAKE.'''

A character seen only in a picture book, but one that hints to major backstory. A primordial being that existed in itself before the Zones came to be and it slowly deteriorated into what is now the Parliament. It's unclear if it was an ''actual'' cake or if it's just allegorical though.
----
* BlueAndOrangeMorality: It wasn't able to comprehend that something other than itself may exist, and felt such an intense hatred of the Zones because of this that its remains became the Parliament, running purely on ThePowerOfHate.
* EldritchAbomination: If it's not literally cake, than it's surely this. Probably it's this even if it ''is'' cake.
* EmphasizeEverything: The author of the Birthday Cake's story does this to convey QUITE a BIT of the Cake's ''INTENSE, HIGH-STRUNG EMOTION'' and '''DEEP, ABIDING RESENTMENT AT ALL THE UNFAIRNESS IT SUFFERED''' in the tale's written prose, combined liberally with '''RainbowText.'''
* TheHermit: The first thing we learn about the Birthday Cake is how perfectly happy it was in nothingness and solitude.
* ItsAllAboutMe: It was quite a narcissistic little dessert.
* MakeThemRot: Like any normal real-life cake that's left uneaten for too long… cultures of microorganisms eventually settled upon the Birthday Cake, and it decayed completely as nature took its course.
* StartOfDarkness: Its whole story.

!! The Dolphin(s?)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dreamwake.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Ms. Green snaps awake from a nightmare of dark evildoers of great and terrible porpoise.]]

--> '''Dolphin''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/hellofremb.html HELLO FREMB.]]

Shortly after they'd read through the storybook on the Parliament's origins, Ms. Green and Maggie both fell fast asleep. Ms. Green then proceeded to have a series of dreams about "many things [she'd] seen and some things that [she] hasn't." Culminating in one particularly frightful monster that definitely fell into the latter category. A monster that addressed her as 'Fremb.' It wouldn't be all that long before they began appearing in the waking world... Apparently sent by the Parliament to find the Exvironator.

----
* AnimalisticAbomination
* AuthorAppeal: ''Inverted completely.'' Bogleech has '''never''' had anything nice to say about either the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oceanic_dolphin Delphinidae]] or [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porpoise Phocoenidae]] families, and he's a guy who'll defend cockroaches and spiders as 'misunderstood creatures.'
--> [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/dolfury.htm "People should be more afraid of dolphins than of sharks by far."]]
** In fact, it's worth looking into the descriptions of dolphin-based TabletopGame/{{Mortasheen}} monsters to demonstrate the depths of his dolphin disdain…
--> '''Narwight''': As one of the stronger and more intelligent vampires, [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/narwight.htm Narwights]] attempt to exert dominance over other sea beasts and are fierce rivals of shark-based vampires.
--> '''Cacchinnox''': Almost rivaling the destructive power of the Harlequeen, [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/cacchinnox.htm the Cacchinnox]] is aberrant even by Joker standards; no less playful and anarchic, but crueler, more bloodthirsty. Whether friend or foe, its every action carries some element of malice, its sense of humor more focused on inflicting as much physical harm and emotional torture as it possibly can.
--> '''Dolfury''': [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/dolfury.htm The Dolfuries]] quickly proved the greatest danger to their own wards, submitting to [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil dark temptations]] even their vampiric creator found [[EvenEvilHasStandards unacceptably abusive.]] As the grotesque incidents [[SerialRapist grew more frequent]] and the [[LameExcuse transparent excuses]] more absurd, their mistress took increasingly extreme disciplinary measures which only seemed to [[TooKinkyToTorture excite the twisted mutants even further]]… Though mentally and biologically unstable, these half-dolphin sadists are as tenacious as they are destructive, [[AnythingThatMoves defiling cetaceans and humanoids]] alike with their deadly parasitoid reproductive habits and easily adapting to extremes of temperature and pollution. They are popularly regarded as [[AlwaysChaoticEvil one of the only truly "evil" monsters ever created,]] and many attempts have been made to annihilate them.
* AxCrazy: Wherever Dolphins swim, slaughter follows.
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: The first time a dolphin appears, there a certain familiar splotchy red pattern around its body, hinting as to which group its affiliated with.
* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: Dolphins' primary weapons seem to be their muzzles. They'll jab them straight through their enemies as though their bottleneck snouts were every bit as sharp as the 'swords' of swordfish. Corpses they leave behind tend to look as though they've been riddled with high-caliber bullets.
* DesecratingTheDead: See for yourself: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/378.html before]] and [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/381.html after.]]
* DreamSpying: A dolphin first appears to Ms. Green in her dreams, letting her know that [[BigBrotherIsWatching Big Flipper is watching.]]
* EyeScream: Gouged-out eye sockets are a signature move of theirs.
* FlyingSeafoodSpecial: Avoiding bodies of water is a worthless tactic. These dolphins can swim through the air too.
* FriendlyPlayfulDolphin: The form of 'playfulness' these dolphins have in mind for their [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent 'frembs']] is probably the stuff of nightmares.
* HeroicDolphin: '''These''' dolphins don't just [[InvertedTrope flip this old trope on its head.]] They [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piledriver_(professional_wrestling) piledrive]] it straight through the floor.
* OutsideContextVillain: WHY dolphins?! Ms. Green was inside a morgue when it first made its appearance! Not an aquarium and not the ocean!
* SapientCetaceans: Their sapience makes them all the more dangerous, though.
* StrangeMindsThinkAlike: The Dolphins actually aren't the first characters to use the appellation [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/blogburger.html 'fremb.']]
* SuperSpeed: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJCvRfkHppg "Faster than lightning,"]] ''[[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/377.html indeed.]]''
* SuperStrength: Dolphins can ram themselves through metal walls, and decimate enemies by piecing straight through them like a living, airborne jousting lance.
* TheDreaded: Dr. Balmer has decapitating robots on standby in the event of a dolphin appearance.
* VillainousRescue: One dolphin's appearance in Balmer's facility ultimately serves to rescue Ms. Green from having her organs sold.
* WouldHurtAChild: As ludicrously superpowered as dolphins are in this setting, Bogleech [[IAmNotMakingThisUpDisclaimer let his audience know]] about one little-known yet horrific fact about RealLife dolphins which his own cetaceans would also be demonstrating. Namely; dolphins are naturally predisposed to kill any infants they happen across '''on sight,''' just as most humans would kill spiders.
--> '''Bogleech''': [[http://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/129989536058/for-the-record-while-dolphins-in-the-real-world Dolphins ARE a whole lot more infanticidal]] than the average animal, though, and slaughter other, smaller dolphin species because they trigger the same baby-killing instinct. This is especially true for pygmy whales, whose corpses often wash ashore covered in dolphin bruises. Dolphins, from their perspective, literally run across mysterious pods of babies out in the middle of nowhere and think “welp, these gotta go.”
** This will surely put Ms. Green at very strict cross-purposes with all dolphin-kind.

!! Immense Thing

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eatingyou_thing.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Look upon me and despair.]]

--> '''Maggie''': Our dear friend is in danger!

When Ms. Green and her companions blew up the polyp, they ventured forth to see what it had blocked. Ms. Green's three inhuman companions looked upon what lay on the other side, and declared it to be an exquisitely sumptuous feast. Miss Green rather disagreed. But when the poor woman fled the 'banquet' and her feasting friends, this thing intercepted her.
----

* AbnormalAmmo: This hairy abomination fires hairballs from itself like cannonballs.
* AllThereInTheManual: Its [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/eatingyou-thing.png image file]] refers to it as a 'thing.'
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: Brought to you in Parliament Red!
* DiscOneFinalBoss: The Immense Thing is the most daunting foe that Team Green battles in the Inert Vessel.
* EyeScream: When Maggie uses "Flytning Bolt" on its eyeball.
* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: How did this tentacular titan manage to sneak up on Team Green?! Especially after they had explored literally '''every''' nook and cranny of the Marrow Dungeon beforehand! In-story, it's acknowledged that this creature is not a natural denizen of this environment:
--> '''Staph''': ...this thing...it's like nothing I've ever smelled...
--> '''Maggie''': Sure ain't of the surroundin' tissue, that's fer sure.
* HalfTheManHeUsedToBe: Staphellie doesn't ''quite'' manage a complete vertical bisection of the Immense Thing. But she comes pretty close, and it's sufficient to end its life.
* HellIsThatNoise: In place of BossBanter, the Immense Thing spews out all sorts of nonsensical babble.
--> '''??????''': SHHHUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFPP! HWUH HWUH HWUH.
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: See that green speck on the end of its [[CombatTentacles tentacle?]] It's [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/eatingyou-tuckered.png not a booger.]]
* KillItWithFire: Has a weakness to Maggie's 'Flyerballs.' And Molotov cocktails.
* MyNameIsQuestionMarks: In-story. The Commentators ended up coming up with the [[FanNickname nickname]] of 'Terrortoma.'
* NamesTheSame: Well... the FanNickname of [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen/terrortoma.htm 'Terrortoma']] happens to be the same as a [[http://www.bogleech.com/mortasheen.htm Mortasheen]] monster Bogleech had conceptualized at an earlier point in time.
* NonStandardCharacterDesign: Because it was drawn by Bogleech's wife Margaret. The effect adds to the Immense Thing's alien, out-of-place wrongness.
* ObviouslyEvil: Between the hellscape of bloody skulls, its [[SinisterSilhouettes sinister silhouette]], and [[EstablishingCharacterMoment what it does to Green]]… what more evidence do you need of its malice?
* SpikesOfDoom: To the point where its lower portion practically resembles a bramble bush, in silhouette.
* WhipItGood: It can use ''its own nerves'' to lash its foes! Though this particular attack is a [[RealityEnsues double-edged sword.]]
--> ''????????? SUFFERS RECOIL DAMAGE! That's what you get for hitting things with your own nerves!''

!! Balphin (Ascended Balmer)

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ascendedbalmer.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:One-Winged Freakshow]]

--> '''Balphin''': I'LL EAT THIS WORLD MYSELF! I'LL EAT...'''EVERYTHING.'''

Balmer's seizure of the anomalous 'exvironator' went off without a hitch. He had the anomaly. He had Ms. Green in a cage; his to sell to whomever he pleased. Balmer had still made one grave error: he'd failed to properly dolphin-proof his headquarters. And wouldn't you know it: a dolphin chose that very moment to crash his party and massacre everyone; skewering Balmer with his own cetacean body like a jousting lance through a knight. Except that the exvironator (which the dolphin had ''also'' been after all along) then fell into the deep pool of embalming fluid [[NoOSHACompliance in the middle of the floor.]]

Not ever bothering to shake free of Balmer's body, the Dolphin dove right after the anomaly. Minutes later... a new lifeform surfaced up from the pool; an abysmally mutated mélange of the Dolphin, Dr. Balmer, and the cancer-generating exvironator they both had sought.

* AbnormalAmmo: One of his new weapons is a "Carcino-Ray." As in; a gun that ''shoots cancer.''
* BodyHorror: According to WordOfGod they were literally melted together.
* CutsceneBoss: After they have Ascended, Celia, Staph, and Maggie vanquish Balphin without needing The Commentators' guidance.
* FusionDance: Balmer and the Dolphin were effectively cooked together into this new being, in a vat of chemicals and carcinoma.
* GivenNameReveal: ''He's'' the guy who first speaks Fern's name.
* HandWave
--> '''Commentator''': Where did it get that wing from?
--> '''Bogleech''': Mutated dolphin flesh.
* HopelessBossFight: Celia ranks Balphin at level 9,999. Considering it's just a twenty-sided tabletop dice Bogleech throws on his heroine's behalf... Ms. Green never had a chance of scratching him.
* MentalFusion: Of the three 'source materials,' Balmer seems to have won out as the 'dominant' ego. Yet the dolphin's bloodlust and the cancer's voracity have drastically interwoven themselves into his personality.
* OneWingedAngel: The fact that it ''has'' that one feathered wing is Bogleech's way of parodying this very trope, especially with regards to [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Sephiroth]].
--> '''Bogleech''': The reason it has a bird wing is strictly because of the RPG trope where the final villain's ultimate form has angel-like properties, which began long before Sephiroth but was especially popularized by Sephiroth's "one winged angel" silliness.
* PlanetEater: As an EstablishingCharacterMoment, he ''did'' come out declaring that he'd 'eat this world myself.' Which is to say, the cadaver of the Ms. Green clone whose neck got snapped by a skeleton.
** Or rather, the actual ''world'' which is an anthropomorphic 'adaption' of what's happening to that cadaver on a microscopic level. Remember; Green never truly ''shrank.'' Her companions and all the other "microfauna" are human-sized.
** Possibly Balphin would be affecting both at once, via some interdimensional {{Synchronization}}?
* ShockAndAwe: Gee, that's quite a bit of electricity sparking on that thing's metal ends!
* WeaponizedOffspring: One of his attacks is 'Foetal Flurry', which is pretty much what it sounds like.
* WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity: Before his 'ascension,' Balmer had been a perfectly civilized, (albeit villainous) entrepreneurial mortician. Afterward, his thoughts were singularly consumed with consuming.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Unaffiliated Entities]]

!!Ms. Kidney Stone

[[quoteright:348:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bigolpissrock_5005.png]]
[[caption-width-right:348:All her dreams of seeing them grow even taller than herself… CRUSHED.]]

--> '''Kidney''': MY BABIES. ''MY BABIES.'' '''YOU DID THIS. MURDERER.'''

The massive broodmother of the the kidney stones afflicting Nobody Nose. [[spoiler:Once Nobody's infestation is "cured", she goes berserk, threatening to kill Nobody, Mrs. Green, and her son.]]
----
* BossBattle: The battle music straight from Final Fantasy ought to be a good tip-off.
* ADogNamedDog: According to her [[AllThereInTheManual medical]] [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/file-stone.png file,]] her forename is 'Kidney.' Her surname is 'Stone.'
* EyeScream: Her death.
* GoForTheEye
* MonsterIsAMommy
* PrepareToDie: A good percentage of Ms. Stone's dialogue amounts to this… all heavy on the vitriol.
--> '''Kidney''': I'LL STRING YOUR INTESTINES THROUGH YOUR EVERY VILE CAVITY.
* SinsOfOurFathers: Mother Pissrock makes it plain she intends to enact this on Ms. Green's son.
--> '''Mother Pissrock''': I KNOW PRECISELY WHERE YOUR MEATLET IS, FLESHBEAST. YOU WON'T BE SEEING IT AGAIN. ...BECAUSE I AM GOING TO PLUCK OUT YOUR SIGHT-BALLS AND TWIST OFF YOUR BRANCHES BEFORE MY LITTLE ONES DRAG IT HERE AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ITS PATHETIC LITTLE SQUEALS AS A BILLION BROODS RIP IT INSIDE OUT A BILLION TIMES BEFORE I LET IT DIE.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Cola and potato chips.
* WeaponizedOffspring: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/063 Sends swarms of her kidney stone kids]] to attack Ms. Green.

!!X-ray Skeleton

[[quoteright:346:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/x-rayskeleton_2621.png]]
[[caption-width-right:346:Tee hee! Watch this, folks!]]

--> You have no idea what happened this time...one minute you were looking at your x-ray, and the next you were here.

A cartoonish animated x-ray print of our heroine's skeleton, [[spoiler:which promptly killed her a second time. She's currently dating The Bloodstain.]]
----
* BewareTheSillyOnes
* DemBones: Well, she's not Ms. Green's ''actual'' skeleton!
* EvilTwin
* NeckSnap
* SelfMadeOrphan: Well, considering that the X-Ray was 'born' from Ms. Green when she went and X-rayed herself...
* SilentAntagonist: Never says one word.
* SmallRoleBigImpact: Appears in a grand total of two pages within the webcomic proper. Her actions serve as the direct catalyst for the extremely lengthy 'Inert Vessel' story arc.
* VillainessesWantHeroes: Dating the Bloodstain, who saved the woman she killed.

!!Ora the Flesh Door

[[quoteright:293:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ora_1201.png]]
[[caption-width-right:293:Insert meat to enter.]]

--> '''Ms. Green''': Yes, hello, mouth thing. What do you want.
--> '''Ora''': Hungry.
--> '''Ms. Green''': Of course you are. I suppose you want me to come inside.
--> '''Ora''': Well...there's probably some pretty good stuff in here.

''Another'' talking door, of the fleshy variety. Ora just ''loves'' to dine on sloppy joes, [[spoiler:though she is not adverse to eating grey-zoners either.]]
----
* BigDumbBody: Ora's relationship with Lexis.
* DoorOfDoom: Just LOOK at her.
* MeatMoss: Ora's interior. It looks like it had been a normal room, once upon a time.
* NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/195 Some third party didn't appreciate Ora's betrayal of Ms. Green.]]
* PickyPeopleEater: Has a predilection for the sloppy joes from the hospital cafeteria.
* PunnyName: 'Ora' as in 'oral cavity.'
* SchmuckBait: Gosh, it's such a shame that Ms. Green [[TrapIsTheOnlyOption needs to explore the morgue,]] considering [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/106 where its key is located.]]
* SwallowedWhole: Ora doesn't chew.

!!Lexis

[[quoteright:204:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lexis_7230.png]]
[[caption-width-right:204:Ora eats for two.]]

--> '''Lexis''': ...I know you're gonna need this nice shiny key if you ever wanna see that kid of yours.

A superficially 'pleasant' tapeworm-person residing on the other side of Ora. She'll nonchalantly provide some exposition [[spoiler:while waiting for you to soupefy.]]
----
* BitchInSheepsClothing: At first, she seems affable enough, for a Hospital denizen. But the longer Lexis talks, the clearer it is how [[LackOfEmpathy snidely contemptuous she is of everyone else.]]
--> '''Mrs. Green''': You know, funny thing...Ora said she had no idea what you were.
--> '''Lexis:''' Well, her brain's not what it used to be, not that it was ever stellar...she can't even remember she has a name half the time. About all she used to remember was the cafeteria food, before somebody hilariously trashed the place. It was all she ever talked about. "Lexis, will it ever be Sloppy Joe day again?" .... ''"Mysterious voice with no name I'm aware of, do you think they're having sloppy joes right now?" ...."Mom, where are my legs?"''....haha, what a '''big dummy!'''
* HumansAreMorons: Lexis doesn't think much of the human capacity to fathom the local jargon.
--> '''Ms. Green''': WHAT'S a greyzoner? What's a zone?!
--> '''Lexis''': Oh, that's easy, just describe what an internet meme is to a shoebox full of moths that can only hear nouns and you'll probably come up with an analogy that's at least ''ironically'' wrong.
* IHaveMyWays: Lexis knows an awful lot about the goings-on within the Hospital, for a parasite hooked inside Ora's stomach.
--> '''Lexis''': You shoulda seen the look on your face when [[spoiler: the Barbeque kicked you in the keister.]]
--> '''Ms. Green''': ...How the hell did you even see that? And why do you remember it if your...friend...doesn't?
--> '''Lexis''': Oh, I remember all ''kinds'' of things I shouldn't. Heck, one of the few things I don't know is how I know so much.
* ImAHumanitarian: Makes absolutely no secret of the fact that she looks forward to ingesting Ms. Green, once Ora's stomach acids flood the room and her body is 'soupefied.'
* NeverFoundTheBody: While Ora ends up very definitely 'out of commission,' we don't see what befell Lexis, since she disappeared.
* TheNicknamer: 'Meatycakes,' and most tellingly, 'soupstuff.'
* PunnyName: Lexis' name is derived from 'scolex,' which are the suckers and hooks a tapeworm uses to attack itself to its host.
* TheSymbiote: A parasitic symbiote, naturally enough, since she's basically an anthropomorphic tapeworm.
* YouAreTooLate: Upon finding herself trapped in Ora's interior, Ms. Green's first action is to pump Lexis for all the information she can. Lexis is all too happy to cooperate. When Ms. Green's finished, and she turns her attention to escaping Ora… '''that's''' when Lexis informs the human of the paralyzing nerve toxin her body's been absorbing this whole while.


!! The Glumdroodler

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/reverbchuck14.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:How'd its pink bow stay so pristine down in there?!]]

--> '''BBQ Girll''': Get ready, dadmiser! It's a ripe one!

Because this thing had jammed itself in their meat grinder, the culinary staff of Burgrr, Inc. had no way of making the sloppy joe which Ms. Green so desperately needed at the time. Once Ms. Green had collected the items needed to get it to emerge, she then had to fight this creature to the death alongside BBQ Girll and Harmburger.

----

* BigNo: Appropriately hammy, for a thing that'd lodged itself in a meat grinder.
--> '''Glumdroodler''': TUBE THOUGHT?! NOOOOOO!!!
* CutsceneBoss: Ms. Green's clash against this thing made for an impressive battle. But since Ms. Green wasn't on speaking terms with the Commentators at the time, they had no input in the fight.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: Right after the Glumdroodler was vanquished, BBQ Girll joyfully informed Ms. Green that this now freed them up to abduct humans from her world as a meat source. But since she was speaking in her usual technobabble, it all went over the woman's head.
--> '''BBQ Girll''': We thought we might have to delay our next [[HumanResources grey-harvest,]] but you delayered that 'droodler like it was just a '''nagvolem!'''
* NonStandardCharacterDesign: It's a... photograph? Photoshopped?
* OurMonstersAreWeird: We challenge '''you''', dear reader, to describe this creature.
* WeaksauceWeakness: Its enemies thinking about tubes serves as the final nail in its proverbial coffin.


!! The Magboils


[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/marrownw.png]]


--> '''Magboil''': FOR A HARMED WAY!!! BE GUSHES A SECRET FIND!!?

Pallid, skeletal, naked creatures with eyes full of maggots, and meandering, empty existences. Miss Green first encounters a talking one outside the 'final dungeon' of the Inert Vessel, though she cannot make sense of what it's saying. Her companions encourage her to ignore it, though Maggie insists its presence signifies a 'zonal bleed.'

----
* TheCassandra: Assuming the first Magboil was indeed a MadOracle, like the Commentators guessed… it was treated in classic 'Cassandra' style, with Ms. Green's companions immediately urging her to pay the poor thing no mind.
* CanonWelding: Magboils were first featured as characters in [[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Burgrr_Entries Burger Entries,]] a creepypasta story Bogleech wrote before ''Awful Hospital,'' along with all the most iconic employees of Burgrr, Inc.
* CrazyConsumption: They seem to 'eat' by sticking bits of carrion into their eyeballs. Where their maggots are.
* EarlyBirdCameo: Magboil heads were available as [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/121.html menu item]] which Harmburger was willing to serve up when Ms. Green paid the cafeteria a visit. She also used a dead one to defend herself against an [[http://www.bogleech.com/awfulhospital/080.html attacking bloodbag.]]
* IntentionalEngrishForFunny: The way they talk, based on the not so intentional engrish on the toys that inspired them.
* MadOracle: The first one to appear was immediately suspected of being this by several of The Commentators, who immediately set about to decrypt its quasi-English ramblings.
* TheWatcher: So far, they've just been observing Ms. Green and her companions from nearby. While mutteringly psychically.
[[/folder]]