History Blog / MarkReadsHarryPotter

* AbortedArc / DespairEventHorizon: Mark gave up reading ''FanFic/MyImmortal'' after [[DudeNotFunny a rape joke]] in Chapter 20.
* AllThereIsToKnowAboutTheCryingGame: In his review of the first chapter, Mark outlines his meager pre-existing knowledge of the series. One of the things he knows is that [[spoiler: Snape kills Dumbledore.]] He doesn't know why, or when, or what makes it a spoiler, just that it happened. He manages to turn this into a RunningGag by writing "Oh no, watch out [[spoiler: Dumbledore]] :(" every time the two are in a scene together.
** He also thought that it would happen in [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows the last book]], so the ending of Half-Blood Prince remained a huge shocker for him even with that spoiler.

* AuthorCatchphrase: "Shit gets real" and "you are/I am not prepared", the latter having been started by his followers during his ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' blog.

** Also [=GIFs=]. Lots and lots of GIF love.

* BoldInflation: The opening to this page should give you an idea how Mark uses ALL CAPS to MAKE A POINT.
** Also ''italics'', regular '''bold text''', and sometimes even [+ENLARGED TEXT+].
** Random mashing of the keyboard for rage.
* ClusterFBomb

** '''[[SpoilAtYourOwnRisk Please stop posting any sort of spoilers or hints to the future in the comments]] [[BoldInflation or I will Voldemort your entire family and then create a basilisk to eat you alive.]]'''
** During Chapter 3 of Order of the Phoenix, Mark inserts himself into the story to express his excitement at seeing the return of both Lupin and Moody. Everyone finds him annoying, and Moody eventually stuffs him into the Dursleys' oven and turns the heat up to maximum. [[UnexplainedRecovery He Gets Better]].
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: Mark's reviews of the first few chapter of the first book were snarky and condescending. Then he was won over by the chapter where Hagrid shows up at the Hut-on-the-Rock and then all was right with the world.
** Those first few chapters were a holdover from the ''other'' series he'd read and blogged about. Mark hated ''Twilight'' with a passion.
** He's by no means the first ''Harry Potter'' reader to find that Philosopher's Stone gets off to a slow start.

* HorribleJudgeOfCharacter: In one isolated incident, Mark gave this prediction about Umbridge in Chapter 11 of ''Order of the Phoenix''.
-->I don't feel she's evil anymore. Shoot me. I know we're supposed to think she's this forboding character who will fuck everything up, but come on. She cannot be that bad just because she's "traditional" in some sense. I mean, she will probably be difficult, but it'll be an interesting way to bring up some sort of conflict between Harry and her. Or maybe Hermione. But yeah. [[DesignatedVillain I'm not buying this whole "YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HATE HER IMMEDIATELY" thing]].

-->OH, JUST FUCK EVERYTHING. Do you know how unbelievably embarrassed I am for that last review? Do you realize how foolish I feel at this very moment for what I wrote?
-->We are not going to talk about Binns. We are not going to talk about Snape. We are not going to talk about Trelawney. We are not going to talk about how this chapter has suddenly turned into ''Harry Potter and the Bickering Bickerers.''
-->We are going to talk about Dolores FUCKING Umbridge.
-->I’ll just start off this way:
-->'''FUCK. YOU.'''

--> [[CrowningMomentOfFunny NEVILLE: What? I thought it fit]].

* ReviewBlog

* {{Website/Twitter}}: Mark wrote [[http://markreadsharrypotter.buzznet.com/user/journal/7163901/mark-reads-harry-potter-chamber/ one review]] in-character as [[{{Fanboy}} Colin Creevey]] tweeting Harry's every action.

* XMeetsY: Mark's posts are part MST, part ReviewBlog, part AfterActionReport, part role-play...

* BiasSteamroller: He [[GushingAboutShowsYouLike loves these books so much]].

* TakeThat: Quite a few against {{Twilight}}.
** These typically take the form of Mark mocking StephenieMeyer whenever he finds a good example of ShowDontTell, the lack of such in Twilight being an early complaint he had.

* OldShame: Mark's reviews of the first few chapter of the first book were snarky and condescending. Then he was won over by the chapter where Hagrid shows up at the Hut-on-the-Rock and then all was right with the world.
** Those first few chapters were a holdover from the ''other'' series he'd read and blogged about. Mark hated ''Twilight'' with a passion.
** He's by no means the first ''Harry Potter'' reader to find that Philosopher's Stone gets off to a slow start.

** In the last chapter of Deathly Hallows, Mark has Cedric go up to Harry and co and talk about how he's "spent the last five years trapped inside a book that glorifies abuse, shame, and mediocrity" following his death, a reference to the fact that him and Edward Cullen are portrayed by [[RobertPattinson the same actor]].

* {{Gayngst}}: Mark is gay. He sometimes relates examples of this trope from his real life, usually from his high school days.

* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: It's pretty clear how much Mark loves Hagrid: The first chapter he's introduced, Mark already wants to marry him. Bear in mind that Mark generally has no interest in marriage, as [[MarkReadstwilight his Twilight reviews]] made clear.

* ScriptFic: the ''Harry Potter: A Play'' segments, another holdover from his [[MarkReadsTwilight Twilight]] reviews.

After [[MarkReadsTwilight suffering through]] ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', Mark decided to embark on the project of reading ''Literature/HarryPotter'' (which he'd never read before) and review it on his blog one chapter at a time and even though at the beginning he was not quite sold now it's REAL HARD because '''[[BoldInflation THIS SERIES IS SO AMAZING AND ADDICTIVE]]''' AND [[Creator/JKRowling J. K. ROWLING]] [[GushingAboutShowsYouLike IS A FUCKING GENIUS]]! HE WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS SHIT! [[http://bit.ly/MRHPlist CHECK IT OUT RIGHT NOW!]]

* LighterAndSofter: ''Blog/MarkReadsTwilight'' was Mark constantly ranting at the sheer stupidity of the characters, the plot destruction, the racism, etc... while this blog is Mark thoroughly enjoying reading a good series.

[[WMG:MARK READS HARRY POTTER]]

See also ''MarkReadsTwilight''. [[MarkDoesStuff Mark is also now branching into other series]], including ''{{Series/Firefly}}'', ''Literature/TheHungerGames'' and ''Series/DoctorWho''. [[MarkDoesStuff Check]] [[http://markwatches.net/reviews/ them]] [[http://markreads.net/reviews/ out!]]

** Also GIF's. Lots and lots of GIF love.

** During Chapter 3 of Order of the Phoenix, Mark inserts himself into the story to express his excitement at seeing the return of both Lupin and Moody. Everyone finds him annoying, and Moody eventually stuffs him into the Dursley's oven and turns the heat up to maximum. [[UnexplainedRecovery He Gets Better]].

* LighterAndSofter: ''Blog/MarkReadsTwilight'' saw Mark constantly ranting at the sheer stupidity of the characters, the plot destruction, the racism, etc... while this blog is Mark thoroughly enjoying himself reading a good series.

-->I don't feel she's evil anymore. Shoot me. I know we're supposed to think she's this forboding character who will fuck everything up, but come on. She cannot be that bad just because she's "traditional" in some sense. I mean, she will probably be difficult, but it'll be an interesting way to bring up some sort of conflict between Harry and her. Or maybe Hermione. But yeah. I'm not buying this whole "YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HATE HER IMMEDIATELY" thing.

--->'''Mark:''' You worthless, authority-obeying, mindless piece of shit. I cannot remember a literary character EVER filling me with this much rage, contempt, and disgust AND GUYS '''I HAVE READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING ''[[[[Literature/{{Twilight}} TWILIGHT]]'' SERIES.''' I will seriously take the entire four books of Bella whining over EVER reading this fucking BULLSHIT, SHITTY PERSON’S WORDS EVER AGAIN.

->'''Mark:''' You worthless, authority-obeying, mindless piece of shit. I cannot remember a literary character EVER filling me with this much rage, contempt, and disgust AND GUYS '''I HAVE READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING ''[[[[Literature/{{Twilight}} TWILIGHT]]'' SERIES.''' I will seriously take the entire four books of Bella whining over EVER reading this fucking BULLSHIT, SHITTY PERSON’S WORDS EVER AGAIN.

'''Mark:''' You worthless, authority-obeying, mindless piece of shit. I cannot remember a literary character EVER filling me with this much rage, contempt, and disgust AND GUYS '''I HAVE READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING ''[[[[Literature/{{Twilight}} TWILIGHT]]'' SERIES.''' I will seriously take the entire four books of Bella whining over EVER reading this fucking BULLSHIT, SHITTY PERSON’S WORDS EVER AGAIN.

** The presence of Malfoy or Umbridge will almost certainly piss him off. He even claims that he hates the latter more than he does [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella Swan]].

** In the last chapter of Deathly Hallows, Mark has Cedric go up to Harry and co and talk about how he's "spent the last five years trapped inside a book that glorifies abuse, shame, and mediocrity" following his death, a reference to the fact that him and Edward Cullen are portrayed by the same actor.

* BerserkButton: The presence of Malfoy or Umbridge will almost certainly piss him off. He even claims that he hates the latter more than he does [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella Swan]].

* TakeThat: Quite a few against {{Twilight}}. These typically take the form of Mark mocking StephenieMeyer whenever he finds a good example of ShowDontTell, the lack of such in Twilight being an early complaint he had.

* BerserkButton: The presence of Malfoy or Umbridge will almost certainly piss him off. He even claims that he hates the latter more than he does [[Literature/Twilight Bella Swan]].

** During Chapter 3 of Order of the Phoenix, Mark inserts himself into the story to express his excitement at seeing the return of both Lupin and Moody. Everyone finds him annoying, and Moody eventually stuffs him into the Dursley's oven and turns the heat up to maximum.