History BadassBoast / RealLife

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* Vietnam's national anthem would like to have a word with their comrades.

-->'''Cortez''': Capturing you is the least of everything I've done in this land.

*** General Puller ''was'' an outstanding combat officer and leader who commanded the respect and loyalty of his men, and to this very day is seen as [[MemeticBadass something akin to a saint]] within the Marine Corps. If just half of the quotes attributed to him are accurate, however, you would be forgiven for thinking he was bat-shit insane:

* The Brag was a tradition of the Scandinavian warriors. When going into battle, a warrior would "brag" about what feats he'd do in the upcoming battle, and his fellow warriors would hold him to this boast. If the warrior did not deliver in his brag, he'd be killed by his fellows, unless he died trying, in which case he'd be honored as one of the noble slain and burned in a funeral pyre so his spirit would go to Valhalla. Quite the motivator to either be a Badass or shut the hell up.

-->''"We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."''

** He then proceeded to win [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Myeongnyang a 13 vs. 133 (plus 200+ transports) naval battle]], [[RealLife/CurbstompBattle losing only two soldiers]] -- not ships, ''soldiers'' -- to combat action.

** He then proceeded to win a 13 vs. 133 (plus 200+ transports) naval battle, losing only two soldiers -- not ships, ''soldiers'' -- to combat action.

* When the army generals suggested withdrawing the (British) Royal Navy from the evacuation of Crete in 1941, Admiral Cunningham's response went back long before Nelson:

** "He's a tramp, a bum and a cripple, not worth training for. I'll take him in five." Said before his 1963 fight with Henry Cooper. [[JustAsPlanned He did just that,]] although Cooper ''did'' [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome become the first man to knock Ali down in a professional boxing match,]] with his "'Enry's 'Ammer" left hook. Afterward, Ali came up with [[DefeatMeansFriendship one for his opponent]] despite winning the match; remarking that "Cooper's not a bum any more. I underestimated him. [[WorthyOpponent He's the toughest fighter I ever met and the first to really drop me, he's a real fighter.]] (...) The punch Cooper hit me with, he didn't just shake me. He shook my relations back in Africa".

** Soleimani was killed in a targeted drone strike on January 3rd, 2020. Following the strike, Iran would respond with targeting a dozen or so missiles at US Military bases in the area. Things kinda calmed down after that.

* Former [[SemperFi United States Marine Corps]] general James Mattis dropped two of these during his time in [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror Iraq]]. The first is well known to any ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' fan as [[ColdSniper the Sniper's]] "be polite, be professional and (but) have a plan to kill everybody you meet" quote from "Meet The Sniper". The other is lesser-known but just as badass. After the end of the Invasion of Iraq, Mattis spoke to Iraqi leaders in a message sent to each of them. It read:
--> I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But [[DontMakeMeDestroyYou I’m pleading with you]], [[ManlyTears with tears in my eyes]]: If you [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with me, I’ll kill you all.
** As Secretary of Defense, he has managed to match (at least) these statements. Asked in an interview, "What keeps you awake at night?":
--> "Nothing. I keep other people awake at night."

--> “To the enemy we answer—[[ThisMeansWar you have unsheathed the sword]], and by it you shall ''die''!"

-->''May our laurels be eternal
Well we knew how to fetch them:\\

Or with Glory, let's swear to die\\

-->''People of the Philippines, I have returned. By the grace of Almighty God, our forces stand again on Philippine soil. Soil consecrated in the blood of our two peoples. We have come, dedicated and committed to the task of destroying every vestige of enemy control over your people. The hour of your redemption is here!''

-->"''[[RoaringRampageOfRevenge The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them.]] At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind.''"

* Even UsefulNotes/{{Denmark}} delivered one during the Second World War, courtesy of their King Christian X. The occupying Nazi force insisted on hoisting the swastika flag over the royal palace in Copenhagen. The king, who actually was a war prisoner, protested, and said he would send a soldier up to lower that flag and hoist the Danish standard. When the German officer threatened to shoot the soldier who dared the attempt, the king allegedly said:

* "The more numerous your enemies, the greater your honor." -- Charles X Gustavus of Sweden. Under his lifetime he was nearly constantly at war, fighting Denmark, Russia and Poland at the same time (gaining nearly half of Denmark's territory and inflicting enough damage on Poland so that the Poles could only win a PyrrhicVictory) while also mopping up in Germany, so he should know.

* UsefulNotes/YuriGagarin made one on his return to Earth, when he was first discovered and mistaken for an alien.

* Most heroes of American folklore, UsefulNotes/DavyCrockett (legendary version and the real man), Mike Fink, John Henry, Pecos Bill, etc., had version of this, often called brags.

* Invoked and Subverted by a (supposed) [[http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/doyouknow.asp RealLife Example]]. A student is taking a test, but goes over the acceptable time. The professor refuses to accept it. Three times the student asks the professor [[YouHaveNoIdeaWhoYoureDealingWith if he knows who he is]], in stronger language each time; each time the professor replies 'no'. Finally the student says "Good!" shoves the test into the middle of the stack, and walks away.

Custodian of the Holy Sanctuaries of Mecca, Medina and Jerusalem,\\

Emperor of The Three Cities of Constantinople, Adrianople and Bursa, and of the Cities of Damascus and Cairo,\\

* One time UsefulNotes/GenghisKhan had his horse shot under him during a clan war. After the fighting he assembled the prisoners and asked who had done that. One of the prisoners said, "It was I." After that Ghenghis Khan [[WorthyOpponent rewarded him]]. He may have been ruthless sometimes but he did have style at other times.

* The Celts would often do this before battle, while challenging their enemies to duels.

* Creator/BrianBlessed reportedly kept Creator/OliverReed from making trouble during the filming of ''PrisonerOfHonor'' with one of these, to the point that Reed was sober the whole time for fear of starting a fight that Brian had said he would end.

* [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_shall_fight_on_the_beaches "We shall fight on the beaches,]] we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender" UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill's response to the threat of Nazi invasion - bearing in mind that Britain was one of the only European countries that was not yet part of Nazi Germany or Nazi-affiliated. So badass that Music/IronMaiden made sure to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg9aQvjMS60 use the speech as an intro to their song about World War II dogfights.]] (not only in that music video, but every live performance of "Aces High" as well)

* From UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln; "Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Bonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years."

-->''You people of the South don't know what you are doing. This country will be drenched in blood, and God only knows how it will end. It is all folly, madness, a crime against civilization! You people speak so lightly of war; you don't know what you're talking about. War is a terrible thing! You mistake, too, the people of the North. They are a peaceable people but an earnest people, and they will fight, too. They are not going to let this country be destroyed without a mighty effort to save it … Besides, where are your men and appliances of war to contend against them? The North can make a steam engine, locomotive, or railway car; hardly a yard of cloth or pair of shoes can you make. You are rushing into war with one of the most powerful, ingeniously mechanical, and determined people on Earth — right at your doors. You are bound to fail. Only in your spirit and determination are you prepared for war. In all else you are totally unprepared - and with a bad cause to start with.''

--->''Atlanta is ours, and fairly won!''
** Another was from Captain Philip Sheridan, a Union officer whose entry took place at the Battle of Missionary Ridge. It would normally be enough that he stood in plain view of the Confederate position on the ridge, took out a flask, and raised it towards them and toasted, "Here's at you." But in anger at the mocking display, the Confederates fired a volley at Sheridan and his entrenched troops, missing him but disrupting his drink. [[BerserkButton A mistake, as it turned out.]]
--> '''Captain Philip Sheridan''': ''That was ungenerous. I'll take your guns for that!''

** Germany ''never'' tried to invade Switzerland throughout the entirety of the Second World War. [[note]]Although they did have near-constant border skirmishes that were handily won by the Swiss, since their standard issue rifle was and is probably the best bolt-action combat rifle ever made. [[/note]]

* In late 2011, a guy named Paul Christoforo [[http://venturebeat.com/2011/12/27/ocean-marketing-how-to-self-destruct-your-company-with-just-a-few-measly-emails/ was acting like a dick to one of his company's customers]] and it came to the attention of one Mike Krahulik. Christoforo began insulting Krahulik as well, until he realized that Krahulik is better known as Gabe from ''Webcomic/PennyArcade''. [[OhCrap Realizing the catastrophic shitstorm he had just brought down on himself]], Christoforo began alternately begging for mercy and threatening legal action. Gabe posted on his blog in reply: "When these assholes threaten me or ''Penny Arcade '' I just laugh. I will personally burn everything I've made to the fucking ground if I think I can catch them in the flames."

* After helping to repair valves in the Prince George's County, Maryland plumbing system so that water would continue to flow to thousands of customers during a summer heat wave, Brad Destelhorst said, "They said it was broken. I fix things."
* Former [[SemperFi United States Marine Corps]] general James Mattis dropped two of these during his time in [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror Iraq]]. The first is well known to any ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' fan as [[ColdSniper the Sniper's]] "be polite, be professional and (but) have a plan to kill everybody you meet" quote from "Meet The Sniper". The other is lesser known, but just as badass. After the end of the Invasion of Iraq, Mattis spoke to Iraqi leaders in a message sent to each of them. It read:

* Facing an Italian invasion of Ethiopia in the 1890s, Menelik II of Shoa made a very understated boast. "Our enemies have began the affair by advancing and digging into the country like moles. With the help of God I will not deliver up my country to them." This was carried through when Menelik's Ethiopian forces crushed the Italian invaders so comprehensively at the Battle of Adwa that the Italian government of the time collapsed.

* Norwegian mountain farmers had a knack of those, when confronting officials. One legendary example is the story of ''Ola Uppsata'', who allegedly payed his way out of a murder in 1687 (while still a teenager). He was known for his bragging behaviour, showing off all his siver (on the hat, on his vest and on his shoes), making said officials claim that he should bargain himself out of the mess with all his silver (thus humiliating him). Ola payed up the weregild and asked for the price of a punch out. When he got that answer, he payed up again and requested if he could punch out whoever he wanted to, and the official confirmed it. Ola (or Blank-Ola as they called him), responded by knocking out said official, and proceeded to make a high leap in the air in front of the jury, with this legendary boast:

* After the completion of the Oosterscheldekering, a 9 kilometer long movable storm surge barrier in the Netherlands which lets the tide through but can close if a large enough storm surge is expected, the Dutch installed a plaque which reads, in typical understated Dutch fashion:

* During World War I, shortly before the United States joined the war, an American ambassador was told by the German Foreign Minister that intervention on the side of the Allies would be a mistake, because there were 500,000 German immigrants who would side with Germany, and 500,000 Irish who would object to siding with the British. The ambassador's response was to point out that the United States was prepared for any uprising, it had more than a million lamp posts (for the hanging of traitors).

* Washington Nationals left fielder Juan Soto made a ''humble'' one when he said "I don't think I'm better than anybody,but nobody is better than me."

* Former [[SemperFi United States Marine Corps]] general James Mattis dropped two of these during his time in [[TheWarOnTerror Iraq]]. The first is well known to any ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' fan as [[ColdSniper the Sniper's]] "be polite, be professional and (but) have a plan to kill everybody you meet" quote from "Meet The Sniper". The other is lesser known, but just as badass. After the end of the Invasion of Iraq, Mattis spoke to Iraqi leaders in a message sent to each of them. It read:

** "He's a tramp, a bum and a cripple, not worth training for. I'll take him in five." Said before his fight with Henry Cooper. He did just that, although Cooper at one point laid Ali on the canvas with a punch.

-->Let us all live crowned with Glory\\
-->Or with Glory, let's swear to die\\

** At the Rivonia Trial, when just about everyone -- including himself -- thought he was facing the hangman for his part in organizing [=uMkhonto we Sizwe=]'s armed campaign against white supremacist rule in South Africa, had this to say:

** The Spartans have a long history of this sort of thing. When Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta saying "If I enter Laconia, I will level Sparta to the ground," The Spartans' response was one word: "If." Later, Philip II sent another message to Sparta, asking if they would rather have him come as friend or foe; the Spartan reply was, "Neither." [[note]]As badass as this boast was, it was ultimately hollow. Sparta was far from capable of holding off Macedon by this point, their army had been defeated by Thebes almost thirty years before this, and their slaves had been liberated and settled by the Thebans right next to Sparta itself. The Spartans were spared Macedonian rule only because Philip and Alexander knew taking them just wasn't worth the little effort needed to do it. in fact,t he Spartans [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Megalopolis lost a major battle]] against Alexander's second-rate soldiers under his regent, Antipater, in 331 BC.[[/note]]

** The Spartans have a long history of this sort of thing. When Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta saying "If I enter Laconia, I will level Sparta to the ground," The Spartans' response was one word: "If." Later, Philip II sent another message to Sparta, asking if they would rather have him come as friend or foe; the Spartan reply was, "Neither." Neither Philip II, nor his son, Alexander the Great, attempted an invasion of the Spartan territory. [[note]]It's also likely that this is a {{Subversion}}. Sparta was far from capable of holding off Macedon by this point, their army had been defeated by Thebes almost thirty years before this, and their slaves had been liberated and settled by the Thebans right next to Sparta itself. The Spartans were spared Macedonian rulen only because Philip and Alexander knew taking them just wasn't worth the little effort needed to do it.[[/note]]

Let us all live crowned with Glory\\
Or with Glory, let's swear to die\\

Let us all live crowned with Glory,:\\
Or full with Glory, let's swear to die.:\\

-->''Well we knew how to fetch them.:\\
Well we knew how to fetch them.

Full with Glory, let's swear to die.:\\
Full with Glory, let's swear to die.:\\