The Agents of Penzance; or, the Pirates of Pacific City
This review contains spoilers. And should be sung aloud to the tune of "The Major-General Song" from The Pirates Of Penzance. Be forewarned. —- I am the very model of a fascist superpowered thug; I'm super fast and strong because of Shai-Gen and their wonder drug. I'm armed with fists, grenades, and guns, so cross me and you'll meet your fate. I'm working for the Agency to usher in a Police State. I've mastered lots of armaments (they say the Firefly's the best) And leap from roof to roof with grace, panache, confidence, and finesse. I can do parkour like the Prince Of Persia on some PCP Or grab a passing semi and throw it (and driver) in the sea. (He grabs a passing semi and throws it and driver in the sea!) My cars become more powerful as I get skills behind the wheel; A simple sports car will, by endgame, be an Expy Batmobile. I'm super fast and strong because of Shai-Gen and their wonder drug And am the very model of a fascist superpowered thug. To take Pacific City back, I have to murder lots of gangs: Los Muertes, Volk, and Shai-Gen, culminating in their leader, Wang. And if I chance to bite the big one, I can even resurrect; I lose some XP, but it's plentiful, so I say what the heck. The city has been oft compared to titles such as GTA But offers lots more freedom than is seen in that franchise today. I never talk to NP Cs; I find that they're an annoyance; I meet with people, sure, but there's no chit-chat, there's just violence. (He meets with people, sure, but there's no chit-chat, there's just violence!) Upon the boss's death, you find I was the bad guy all along. The game is great, it must be said; and now I will conclude this song. But keep in mind I'm strong because of Shai-Gen and their wonder drug And am the very model of a fascist superpowered thug.