Reviews: Big Rigs Over The Road Racing

The literal definition of Obvious Beta.

It goes without saying that this is a terrible game. Wait, scratch that. Calling it a game would imply that I have mild respect for it.

Before I get into The Long List of negatives, this game actually has some pretty catchy music... That is, if it actually plays.

This is one of the most flawed things I've ever seen. First off, no collision engine. Not only does this mean you can clip out of the map and into an endless void, but you'll clip through the bridges as well instead of crossing them.

As a bonus, there's no AI whatsoever in the base game. Zero-Effort Boss doesn't get any more zero-effort, I tell you. If you download the patch, your opponent will move. And then it'll stop short of the finish line. Why? Because there's no failure state in the game. If your opponent miraculously crosses the finish line, the game will crash.

It is literally impossible to lose this game. Pretty much the only way for your opponent to win is to take control of them in the middle of the race. Not that it matters, as you still get the YOU'RE WINNER ! trophy. As a bonus, sometimes the game's code has trouble distinguishing between starting and finishing. The result? You can win the race the moment it begins.

The box is Very False Advertising if I've ever seen it. The front is bogus enough. The back is so blatantly false that you'd think it was a satire. Literally almost nothing mentioned on the back of the box is in the final product. The only thing it gets right are the settings, only one will always crash the game.

I have to applaud the developers. Somehow they've managed to create patches that remove everything memorable without actually making the game better. They remove YOU'RE WINNER ! and add AI that works until the finish line, and that's it. Everything else is unchanged.

The only fun you can have is had by screwing with the game's engine. For example, you can drive backwards to a top speed of 12.3 undecillion miles per hour. And yet, you'll stop on a dime if you take your finger off the key. Also, if you reach that speed, all checkpoints light up and you automatically win. But considering it's impossible to lose anyway...

One last thing: If you load up Task Manager, you'll find out that this game takes up 50% of storage memory.

This alleged "game" has redefined Obvious Beta for me. If you plan to buy it, be prepared for utter suck.

This is more like a game engine than a game

Rather than think of Big Rigs as a "game" in the standard sense, I think of it more like what a game is built on that just has a few objects loaded into the world. Things like ground and terrain are loosely defined because that's what the game needs to know in order to build the world. Buildings have no collision definition and things like physics are unspecified because those things must actually be coded. So your truck is able to move through the world but without limitations (climb vertical slopes with no loss of velocity, leave the game world, and drive in reverse at an unlimited rate of acceleration). The truck is almost irrelevant, it's more just a camera that has an object that follows it as it moves through the environment (and game engines do have a defined camera so this adds credence to the notion this is more a raw engine than a game).

Calling it a "video game" assumes that it was built with the purpose of giving the player an experience that would somehow immerse them in the digital reality, no matter how tenuous (some may say that to be a "game" it must have a victory condition but things like Animal Crossing lack a defined objective other than living your character's life, so there is more to it than that). However Big Rigs in its infinitely unfinished glory, cannot make such a claim due to its inherently world-breaking incompleteness. So there is no immersion to be found, due to having no limits and unpolished content. No one could ever actually absorb themselves into the setting and, thus, I cannot actually consider this a "game". However if someone had the dedication, I'm sure they could take what is here and make a game of it...at some point...

So bad, my grandmother found it hilarious

There's something amazing about a video game that you can play in front of your brother and cousins and have everyone in the room spill tears of laughter. There's something really incredible about a game so broken and so awful that you can show it to your 80-year-old grandmother and even she finds it a riot, even if to a somewhat lesser extent.

The infinite acceleration in reverse and instant stop-on-a-dime brake, the buildings you can literally drive through, the opponent who either does nothing or stops right before the finish line, the broken ground textures (the road either appears solid, is invisible, or is broken into pieces, and randomly changes between all 3 states as you drive), the grand total of only 3 sound effects - acceleration, deceleration, and brake (if you hit space bar instead of down arrow to brake), the YOU'RE WINNER! exclamation when you win a "race", the mountains you can drive up at nearly 90 degree angles, the endless void you can drive through when you exit the boundaries of the level, the level that crashes the instant you start it, the...

This game needs to be played to be believed. In this game, Russia has produced one of the greatest contributions to humankind's collective culture this side of Stalin Versus Martians. This isn't The Room of video games, because at least The Room was complete and had its "features" in working order, even if incompetently made. Here, the game is in a visibly unfinished, barely-started state, something you wouldn't even find in the worst of direct-to-DVD movies. There's not even an instruction manual, just a small slip of paper telling you the controls. There's no copy protection. Either They Just Didnt Care, or something happened during production to force them to release the game so early.

Arguably, if this game actually got finished, it might have sold even less copies than it did, because it likely still wouldn't have been good; it just would have been bad enough to drop off the radar entirely. But by being released as an unfinished, buggy mess that passes itself off as a completed game, Big Rigs Over The Road Racing cements itself into players' minds as something that's not just terrible, but inexplicable.
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