Reviews: Big Rigs Over The Road Racing

So bad, my grandmother found it hilarious

There's something amazing about a video game that you can play in front of your brother and cousins and have everyone in the room spill tears of laughter. There's something really incredible about a game so broken and so awful that you can show it to your 80-year-old grandmother and even she finds it a riot, even if to a somewhat lesser extent.

The infinite acceleration in reverse and instant stop-on-a-dime brake, the buildings you can literally drive through, the opponent who either does nothing or stops right before the finish line, the broken ground textures (the road either appears solid, is invisible, or is broken into pieces, and randomly changes between all 3 states as you drive), the grand total of only 3 sound effects - acceleration, deceleration, and brake (if you hit space bar instead of down arrow to brake), the YOU'RE WINNER! exclamation when you win a "race", the mountains you can drive up at nearly 90 degree angles, the endless void you can drive through when you exit the boundaries of the level, the level that crashes the instant you start it, the...

This game needs to be played to be believed. In this game, Russia has produced one of the greatest contributions to humankind's collective culture this side of Stalin Versus Martians. This isn't The Room of video games, because at least The Room was complete and had its "features" in working order, even if incompetently made. Here, the game is in a visibly unfinished, barely-started state, something you wouldn't even find in the worst of direct-to-DVD movies. There's not even an instruction manual, just a small slip of paper telling you the controls. There's no copy protection. Either They Just Didnt Care, or something happened during production to force them to release the game so early.

Arguably, if this game actually got finished, it might have sold even less copies than it did, because it likely still wouldn't have been good; it just would have been bad enough to drop off the radar entirely. But by being released as an unfinished, buggy mess that passes itself off as a completed game, Big Rigs Over The Road Racing cements itself into players' minds as something that's not just terrible, but inexplicable.