We try to kill SCP-682

Result: Upon giving 682 a taste of memes, he became enraged, and devoured the unlucky idiot who tried giving him access to the internet.

What did you expect to happen?-Doctor R.W

Test: We make 682 go subatomic.

edited 2nd Jun '16 1:29:36 PM by RandomWriter413

@Mr Dinodude I meant heat. Hit was a typo.

RESULT: As wanted, SCP-682 became ultra super mega duper microscopic. Then he returned to normal.

TEST: Use any test that we know that can REALLY, REALLY damage 682. After that, cover 682 with the super acid that we got from the nuke + acid test on page 82, and then give the remains to SCP-173, the only thing that SCP-682 fears.

Result: 682 began to cover himself with eyes, and began the ultimate staring contest. Upon further 'inspection from Doctor Random, and a few others, the one who lost, was the D-class in the room. When acid was applied to the eyes in an attempt to harm him, we gained horrid results.

Turns out 173's chamber wasn't strong enough to contain an angry lizard with reddened, melting, eyes all over its body. Containment of 173 and 682 breached.

Test: Send 682 against Malachite.

edited 4th Jun '16 6:21:27 AM by RandomWriter413

RESULTS: FAILURE - After a extensive battle, Malachite finally fell to overwhelmingly adaptive powers of SCP-682. After consuming the gems of the fused entities, SCP-682 underwent an interesting reaction, it's body undergoing an overall molecular mutation that changed it's body into what can only be described as a 'physical hologram'. Although damage was possible to be inflicted upon SCP-682, it was clear that it's resistance was heightened tenfold. Once subdued, SCP-682's immediate appearance vanished in a cloud of smoke, to leave within the cloud a singular, super-hardened, unidentifiable gem. Attempts to open gem were unsuccessful, and within 6 hours the gem became biological, morphing back into SCP-682's natural state.

"Now this was interesting, it was almost like a reverse parasitic relationship, with the gem being the host, and the projection being the parasite of some sorts?.. I don't really know, I'll have to look into this later." - Dr. DD

TEST: Remotely implant into SCP-682's cranium an on-loop nano-sized external stereo projecting intense volumes of the combined audio of Spongebob Squarepants' constant laughing and all conversations between Deadpool's 3 different voices.

@Pastry Person It's all good! .u.

edited 4th Jun '16 6:38:17 PM by Mr_dinodude01

RESULT: Success. The chip was successfully implanted into SCP-682. Upon its activation, 682 began to claw at the walls of the testing chamber and roar in agony for several hours. After the first day, 682 went into a catatonic state and remained motionless for another 24 hours. Then, 682 began to [REDACTED] the vertebrae buckling under the pressure. Then it [DATA EXPUNGED] until its head was effectively consumed, the chip was destroyed entirely. Two hours later, 682 regrew its head.

Note: "I always said Spongebob made me want to eat my own head. I guess 682 and I have that in common!" - Dr. Farnsworth

TEST: Expose SCP-682 to the black fluid and turn it into a Prawn. Then promptly hit it with a lightning gun.

Result: SCP-682 gains a prawn-like appearance. However, he is able to regenerate not long after being shot by the lightning gun.

Test: Use a cursed apple to put SCP-682 into an eternal slumber. Sure it won't kill him, but it should probably incapacitate him.

edited 5th Jun '16 10:47:08 AM by AHI-3000

Result: 682 entered catonia for around six to eight hours, before awakening, with a tech team in front of his face. Doctor Random, in an attempt to calm everyone down, tried playing this, to comfort the researchers and calm 682. This did not help.

On the bright side, it was rather catchy. -Doctor Clef, shortly after sending a traumatized Doctor Random down to see Doctor Rights.

Test: We release a Kraken into 682's containment chamber. -Suggested by Doctor Random, Bright, Clef, Kondraki, and other doctors who were regrettably allowed to watch Clash of the Titans.

Result: What should have been an epic battle instead became anti-climatic, as someone forgot to fill the testing chamber with water. So SCP-682 makes quick work of the Kraken, and he has calamari for dinner.

Test: Have SCP-076 fight against Kratos.

"Frankly, all these failed tests to destroy or defeat SCP-682 have become very tiresome. Can we please take a break and experiment with a different badass SCP?" — Dr. A.H.I.

edited 27th Jun '16 3:58:06 PM by AHI-3000

Result: CANCELLED. Reason: This is SCP-682 we are trying to kill, not SCP-076. If DR. A.H.I wants to test with SCP-076, he can do so as he pleases. Just not in this site.

Test: Introduce SCP-682 to an evil villain's club so that it can remmediate it's vile feelings towards mankind.

edited 5th Jun '16 10:52:02 PM by Philldough

Result: 682 ate the villains, and gained the super powers of the ones they devoured, temporarily. By which we mean 8 hours. He then found his way into Los Angeles, and Class A Ammesiacs had to be distributed. Amount of personel lost: 12. Non personel deaths: Roughly 345.

Test: We take 682 and we push him somewhere else! Namely, a pocket dimension which is basically a gigantic meat grinder.

Result: SCP-682's meat gets ungrinded; the pieces put themselves back together again.

Test: Have SCP-076 and Kratos fight against each other to the death. After the loser gets resurrected, they both team up to fight against SCP-682.

"There, I edited my test proposal so that it involves SCP-682. Even though that damn lizard will survive anyways." — Dr. A.H.I.

edited 6th Jun '16 10:54:01 AM by AHI-3000

Result: Note: "As Dr. Serizawa once said 'Let them fight.'" - Dr. Farnsworth

The resulting battle destroys a major portion of the planet. SCP-682 ultimately victorious as it consumes both combatants into itself, gaining their power. 682 then goes on to wipe out the rest of the world. As usual, the Reset Button is pressed to undo all of this, but thankfully Dr. A.H.I. has a special tape of the event to view at his leisure.

Test: Have The Inquisitor surgically remove SCP-682 from time and erase it from existence entirely.

edited 7th Jun '16 12:09:41 AM by Avenuewriter

Result: The Inquisitor seemingly did it!

"Wait, so I hit on Dr Wondertaiment, and I can't use official SCP business as an excuse, now? Schieese." -Doctor RW.

Edit, several months after attempt: NEVER MIND HE'S BACK

AND HE'S USING THE INQUISTOR'S POWE-

Upon this edit to the data base, the reset button was triggered.

Test: We use Dr Wondertainment's lovely equipment to aid in his extermination.

Result: Cancelled. We require further specification.

Test: Using SCP-███, transport a large portion of our testing personnel, SCPs ███, ███, and ███ 682 to an alternate, lifeless universe via a spacetime rift.

Once completed, we are to temporarily mollify SCP-682 by keeping it supplied with an SCP-682 "special" (10 kg of rotten meat and sharpened bone splinters, 10 L of rancid mayonnaise, 1 L potassium cyanide, and 1 kg morphine hydrochloride, combined into a solid mass then transmuted via SCP-807) place SCP-682 inside of a heavily reinforced pod with said "specials", and accelerate it via SCP- ███ at extremely high speeds into deep space, where we will use SCP- ███ to surround testing personnel into a bubble of personalized spacetime to protect them from the effects of the test.Another "bubble" is to be placed around the spacetime rift back into our universe.

Afterwards, use SCP-███, ███, and ███ if need be to trigger a "big rip event", an event that is essentially every single atom in the universe splitting, an act that will essentially lead to the destruction of the entirety of the alternate universe (such an event is comparable in power to the Big Bang, though it is the ending of a universe instead of the creation of one). Afterwards, immediately evacuate the personnel back into our universe and close the rift immediately.

In the event that SCP-682 somehow survives the event and adapts to it, Action 621-Jibrail is to be enacted.

Action 621-Jibrail: The rift connecting the alternate universe and ours is to be immediately destroyed, regardless of any personnel still remaining outside our universe. In the event of an unsuccessful Action 621-Jibrail, no further action will be needed.

I hope this gets him.

edited 7th Jun '16 10:00:17 PM by PastryPerson

—INCOMING MESSAGE - SENDER - DR. DD—

"..We already tried throwing this thing's molecules into a blackhole, A FLIPPING BLACKHOLE.. And you thought that instead of the strongest implosion in the universe, how about the strongest explosion?.. WHAT WERE YOU THINKI—"

—SIGNAL LOST— - -

RESULTS: FAILURE - 95% of all life on planet earth, at this point in time - has been wiped out. SCP-682, once inserted within the midst of the rip event, was seemingly destroyed within the following detonation. No further life signs were picked up within aftermath. Seven weeks later, Site [REDACTED] is founded within desolate ruins, a 50 mile wide crater, reaching to nearly the planet's outer core. Last de-crypted signals from Site [REDACTED] show reports of a time space anomaly, one in which the literal fusion of the energy of the rip detonation and the closed rift between universes to create a what remaining SCP-Personal call a 'Space-Vortex', creating an innumerable amount of power, light, speed, force, and pressure to transmit through the unseen space between universes what can only be classified as SCP-682-X. When SCP-682-X touched ground, Site [REDACTED] was wiped out, and all surrounding rubble, mass, and energy was absorbed via simple contact of SCP-682-X. SCP-682-X would then reabsorb the power of the 'Space-Vortex' into it's own body, gaining a near infinite amount of power cosmic. The following detonation immediately sent the world into an apocalypse, the heat of the blast drying the majority of earth's water and the force destroying 86% of all mass upon the face of the earth. We still are awaiting the end.

TEST: Send in Rico Rodriguez (Just Cause Series), the man who can blow up anything. Watch the fireworks.

edited 7th Jun '16 11:36:32 PM by Mr_dinodude01

Result: In spite of Mr. Rodriguez's mysterious ability to defy the laws of physics, all explosives prove to be ineffective against SCP-682. Rodriguez is later detained so the Foundation members can figure out how he can negate terminal velocity by going towards the ground even faster.

Test: Hire Rick Sanchez to come up with a way to kill SCP-682.

Result: None of his inventions can kill SCP-682.

Test:Have every armed aircraft on earth fire on 682. A stereo is playing Ride of the Valkyries.

Result: SCP-682 shrugs off all the bombs.

Test: Hire Hubert Farnsworth to come up with a way to kill SCP-682.

edited 9th Jun '16 10:08:11 AM by AHI-3000

RESULT: It worked. His plan was [DATA EXPUNGED] and SCP-682's termination was confirmed. Since this shouldn't happen, we cloned him to continue with our experiments.

TEST; Introduce a Ditto on SCP-682's containment chamber, and then make him use Transform to copy SCP-682's power and abilities. Obviously, the purpose of the test is a fight between the two, a fight to the death.

edited 10th Jun '16 9:52:33 AM by SCP682WILLDIE

Result: In spite of our better judgement, the test is allowed to commence. The Ditto successfully takes on the traits of SCP-682, then proceeds to break 682 out of confinement. The two then lay waste to the facility until a capture team is able to apprehend them. SCP-682 and the Ditto (now classified as SCP-682-D) are contained. NOTE: "Well that's just [REDACTED] great! Now we have two of the damn things! As if one wasn't enough! Whoever thought this one up is getting busted down to Class-D!" - Dr. Farnsworth

Test: Contain SCP-682 within a magic force field and then cast the Armageddon spell within it.

Result: FAILURE. While 682 did initially appear totally destroyed by the spell, after the shield was taken down scans noticed a rapidly expanding microscopic biomass in the room. As it turns out, 682 had regenerated From a Single Cell and began a rampage. Fortunately, 682 was re-contained with a minimal loss of life.

Note: "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS MOTHER [EXPLETIVE DELETED] LIZARD, ON THIS MOTHER [EXPLETIVE DELETED] PLANE OF EXISTENCE" - Dr. Silver, shortly before his nervous Breakdown

Test: Send in 42 D-Class to the world of Undertale with a plea for aid. The Foundation will agree to whatever the Underground requests if Toriel, Papyrus, Sans, Undyne, Mettaton, And King Asgore use the D-Class SOULS to enter God Mode and slay 682.

Result: Failed. The humans of the Undertale universe operate off of a different system than ours, one involving more anomalous and supernatural concepts- ones that do not exist in D-Class. They could not use D-class 'souls', if such a thing

Test: Summon Masakado's Shadow to battle it. He redirects all forms of attacks back towards the user (sans "divine" attacks, which he is heavily resistant to), is capable of using an ability known as Curse Thy Enemy to deal heavy damage and force his foes to become weak to specific types of attacks. He is roughly 15000 feet tall, easily towering over skyscrapers, and is powerful enough to withstand the blast from several intercontinental ballistic missiles.

For the record, Masakado's Shadow isn't organic.

edited 11th Jun '16 3:34:06 PM by PastryPerson

Result: SCP-682 gets his ass kicked, but still survives the battle.

Test: Summon SCP-682's mother, Mrs. ██████████, a resident of Dimension XKTP-4592. We then ask Mrs. ██████████ to scold and discipline her son for being such a homicidal asshole.

Bump.