We try to kill SCP-682

Result: the result of putting SCP-063 into SCP-914 on very fine rusulted in [DATA EXPUNGED], when result was fed to SCP-682 it screamed with rage killing [DATA EXPUNGED] D-Class personnel while mentioning something about the Hour of Twilight and how lesser races including humans are inferior and disgusting to Dragons.

All while that was happening the report on the search for Deathwing came up with DNA evidence pointing SCP-682 being Deathwing himself explaining the beast's hatred for all life.

"We're DOOMED!" - Dr. Bright

Test: Use the Dragon Soul(if we can find it in this time period) and hope it sticks.

"How did SCP-682 come back from Thrall's firing of the Dragon Soul? I hope he's dead for good this time." - Dr. Clef

edited 1st Feb '13 1:12:08 PM by MickeyFrogeater

Result: Failure. The Dragon soul is not available in this timeline. Further more, dna tests reveal that SCP-682, is in fact, not Deathwing.

"-huge sigh-" Dr. [[REDACTED]]

Test: Calmly ask him to kill himself. If he doesn't respond, yell. If still, strangle him.

"We tried the overly flashy shit, now lets try the basics." Dr. [[REDACTED]]

edited 1st Feb '13 1:30:41 PM by Trip

Result: Failure, ignored orders to kill itself, too large to strangle.

Test: Request aid from Asura. Evacuate all humans within 400 miles of SCP-682.

edited 1st Feb '13 1:55:27 PM by Voyd211

result: FAILURE after a long and awesome battle 682 defeated asura by ripping him into shreds. 682 now for some reason cant stand crying.

"we can try this again when he's reborn in 10,000 years" DR. Bright

TEST: send SCP-682, SCP-173, SCP-096, SCP 106 and any other dangerous SCP's into a battle royal even if 682 doesnt die we can still get rid of some highly dangerous SCP's. we can even charge for tickets.

edited 5th Feb '13 3:54:34 PM by shiloh224

Result: FAILURE. Before testing commenced, SCP-682 proceeded to eat posters promoting battle (*ahem* experiment). As a result of this, no spectators whatsoever appeared to witness experiment. No funds were received, and all motivation to continue with the experiment was lost.

"Perhaps we should advertise via television next time..." Dr. Bright.

Test: SCP-682 scheduled to be sealed inside a vacuum pod headed for the Sun.

edited 5th Feb '13 6:55:30 PM by Danniiee

Result:It been done all ready.

Test: Give 682 a copy of earth to destroy.

edited 5th Feb '13 6:55:59 PM by thestonedog78

Result: Failure. A copy of earth is now heading towards us. Dr. [REDACTED] is now scheduled to be terminated via flashy death.

"We probally have the resources to vaporize the thing. Unfortunately a suicide misson. HEY! Now I know what to do with that docter!" Dr.      "

Test: ^^^, but televised promotions instead of posters.

edited 5th Feb '13 7:18:30 PM by Trip

Result: Television was not working due to sun spots interfering with signal. Later attempt resulted in several SC Ps escaping and [[data expunged]] dead.

"Seriously, how hard is it to kill this thing!", Dr. (Data Corrupted)

Test: Use suit of powered armor made from fourthwall coupled with advance flamethrowers and particle weapons.

Result: D-859712 instructed in the use of said powered armor and sent to fight 682. Instead of complying, he turned the weapons on the researches, resulting in [REDACTED] casualties and is currently at large, pursued by Mobile Task Force 67-Sigma.

- Okay, who thought giving a D-class access to an advanced battlesuit was a good idea? - Dr.████████

Test: Hit it with the Ultimate Nullifier

Result: Ultimate Nullifier was nullified.

Test: Force 682 to literally Jump the Shark hoping that some of the failed attempt at coolness will weaken it somehow.

"Hey, it might sound lame, but compared to some of the other tests here, this is freakin' genius." - Dr. B███████

Result: Failure. As it turns out, jumping over a shark that is trying to eat you is, in the words of Researcher Veldi, "really freaking cool. Even moreso if you do a somersault in midair and bite the damn thing's head off."

Proposal: Infect it with Blacklight.

Result: Success! SCP-682's functions ceased after copius ammounts of virus.

Ammendment 845: A man was shown transforming into what appears to be a copy of 682. Tests reveal that this is not the case, as this is the real 682, now able to body-snatch.

"SHIIIIIII-" Dr.      

Test: Throw the thing into a capsule, and set the capsule between two colliding galaxies.

Result: Failure, the galaxies collided and SCP-682 supposedly died. 3 weeks later it was seen at a Chuck E Cheeses attacking and killing its mascot and everyone in the restaurant. also 682 has acquired the ability to puke black holes.

"Luckily there were minuscule amounts of customers there. who eats there anyway, seriously? the mascot is better off dead. AND NOW IT WANTS PIZZA, GREAT!!!!" DR. Bright

Test: apply the help of Goku, Vegeta, and anyone other Z-fighter able to help. if Vegeta refuses tell him 682 called him a weak sayain pussy who belongs in the trash. send the fight to the plane of no longer infinite kittens.

"if the Z-fighters cant do it no one can" [REDACTED]

edited 6th Feb '13 4:07:49 PM by shiloh224

TEST: use scp-409 to "crystalize 682

Result: Denied. We tried both of those already - read the backlogs.

Test: Punch SCP-682 in the snout to establish superiority

Result: Failure. Hand bitten off.

Proposal: Send it to Silent Hill.

Result: Failure, SCP-682 manages to consume ghosts and civilians alike with impunity

Test: Send in an army of Tachibana clones.

Result: With his new found power. Destroy the army with out any problem.

test:Send him back in time to the big bang

CANCELED: we already tried that.

TEST: clone a female version of 682 maybe they'll fall in love and live peacefully, oh and send the couple to Jupiter. if this doesn't work at least they'll be off of earth. and add some "destroy-able" DNA to the clone.

"make the clone irresistible" DR.[REDACTED]

edited 7th Feb '13 1:45:44 PM by shiloh224

Result: Test cancelled.

Are you out of your fucking mind? The last thing we need is an entire species of these things! - Dr.████

Test: Place 682 in a virtual reality where it believes it is merrily slaughtering humans and causing destruction all day long.

Result: SUCCESS!! 682 was subdued until the power went out. then he escaped and killed a whopping [REDACTED] number of real researchers and D class test subjects. subject was subdued and contained. a large number of SCP's escaped during the power outage. they were all contained except SCP-173.

"And it was working beautifully to, Who the hell forgot to pay the electric bill!"

TEST: ask if 682 wants anything in return for living peacefully.

"maybe we don't have to kill it just make friends with it it shouldn't be as hard as making friends with the Daleks." DR. BRIGHT

Result: FAILURE. After excessive questioning by a D-Class, SCP-682 demanded the tears of small children and [REDACTED], along with other ludicrous demands. SCP-682 then proceeded to tear out the [REDACTED] of the D-Class.

"Reasoning with this beast does not seem to be possible, perhaps there is a psychological or genetic predisposition to its behaviour..." Dr. Bright.

Test: SCP-682 will be subject to a therapy session, using the Rorschasch Ink Blot test.

RESULT: SOMEWHAT SUCCESSFUL, 682 saw the following images in the ink blots: a child's distorted head, SCP-[REDACTED], a nuclear warhead,severed [REDACTED]icles, Excalibur,a burning puppy, and DR.[REDACTED] on top of SCP-[redacted]. 682 then proceeded to tell the therapist about how his family hated him and being sexually abused by his grandfather. after which he ate the therapist.

"wow, 682 has one SICK AND TWISTED mind" DR.[REDACTED]

TEST: retry the fourth wall suit of armor BUT THIS TIME GIVE IT TO A RESEARCHER!!!

"I suggest letting DR.[REDACTED] drive it he's on death row anyway."

TEST: give 682 anesthetics and proceed to remove his brain.

TEST: create alternate dimension relating to 682's home world and send it into the dimension

edited 7th Feb '13 7:11:40 PM by shiloh224

Result #2: Anesthetic successfully injected into 682.

682 regained consciousness in the middle of the operation, resulting in the loss of [REDACTED] agents and [REDACTED] medical personnel.

"He BIT OFF MY FREAKING HAND!" - Doctor [REDACTED]

Result #3: Cancelled.

"Are you insane!? The last thing we need is a bunch more of the damned things coming through to help him take revenge!" - Dr. L[REDACTED]

Test: Tie a gigantic pink ribbon on 682's head, and fit him with a customized tutu. Shower in sparkles and confetti hearts. Play the Dora theme song in the background. Film him and rotate the footage around Site [REDACTED] in an attempt to make him die from embarrassment.

RESULT: FAILED, the most that happened was that several D-class subjects and researchers apparently "died from laughing". SCP-682 then freaked out and broke from containment shouting "baminos amigos! EVERYBODY DIES!!" he then traveled to new York and killed a total of [REDACTED] causalities. he was recaptured and contained. for the next week 682 spoke only Spanish.

TEST: give up and realize THERE IS NO WAY TO KILL SCP-682!!!