We try to kill SCP-682

Result: Apparently SCP-682 abhors chocolate, as it broke containment with the expressed intent to render Theobroma cocoa extinct. 682 was successfully recaptured after it had razed ███,███ square kilometers of the Ivory Coast to the ground. The civilian death toll is still being determined.

We are currently waiting for 682's thermobaric properties to dissipate.

Result: SCP-682 began emitting an initially unidentifiable sounds in response to the music. It was quickly determined to be SCP-682 singing an a cappella rock ballad complete with accurate replication of an orchestra.

682's singing soon overtook the maximum volume output of our sound system, which then proceeded to melt, along with all personnel in a 100 meter radius of 682. It continued singing for twelve hours before promptly falling into a docile trance.

Dr. DeRegio: That song... I'm going to have nightmares for weeks. What's worse, I can't get it out of my head.

Test: Encase SCP-682 in military-grade duct tape.

Don't worry, I gave a result for yours.

edited 24th Mar '17 10:32:20 AM by WillDeRegio

(i got bottompaged.)

Result: failed scp 682 somehow in creased his heat until the tape and later the facility melted.

Test: Hire an all powerful wizard to kill that [EXPLATIVE REDACTED] ugly lizard!

edited 24th Mar '17 12:53:54 PM by vjoi

Result: 682 ate the wizard. Whole. Poor fellow had barely set a foot in the door and hadn't had time to cast so much as a protection spell.

682 quickly began demonstrating the ability to summon fireballs, launching them at all personnel sent in to attempt recovery of the wizard. This trait seemed to fade after several days.

Test: Leave 682 on a securely monitored and contained tropical island nowhere near any public shipping lanes with a steady flow of varied D-Class personnel for them to hunt. Maybe this will help breed a more permanent containment solution.

Result: 24 minutes after being placed on the island, SCP-682 developed fins and a propeller, and sped away from the island at speeds reaching Mach 1. It was recaptured in the Mediterranean after sinking ███ ships and effectively driving the [Redacted] Company Ltd. into bankruptcy.

Test: Encase SCP-682 with military-grade duct tape that has been processed though SCP-914 on the "Fine" setting.

edited 24th Mar '17 10:02:30 PM by WillDeRegio

Result: The duct tape turned into soot as a human would... "Wait, does that mean duct tape is made out of humans...?" -Dr. Leve

Test: Create a facility-habitat and put SCP-682 in it. THEN make SCP-682 the god of that world. "Let's just hope it doesn't get the powers of a god from this. I jinxed it, didn't I?" -Dr. Leve

Result: SCP-682 doesn't get the powers of a god... outside its habitat, that is. It has been observed that SCP-682 has created a miniature planet blooming with beautiful life. According to SCP-682, that is. SCP-682 noted that "it's still more appealing than you, bastards".

Test: Introduce SCP-682 to SCP-1607 for a brief moment.

Result: Test proposal has been denied for the following reason:

Test: Press the Button of Randomness and expose the resulting SCP to SCP-682.

Result: FAILURE the result was scp-818 an scp that was neutralized.

Test:We have sent in the most powerful weapon out budget for today allowed. . .

VOLTRON!

Result: In response to having to face Voltron, SCP-682 proceeded to grow to match its opponent's size and adopted a vaguely humanoid form. What happened next can only be described as the most horrifyingly campy fight between giants, resulting in Voltron being soundly defeated by SCP-682, who then proceeded to go on an unchecked rampage. Reset button pushed.

Test: Encase SCP-682 in 50 layers of saran wrap, 5 layers of the highly durable plastic used in packaging, and 5 feet of plexiglass.

Result: SCP-682 increases its body temperature to several thousand degrees Celsius, melting its "packaging" and most of the room around it.

Test: Give SCP-682 the largest sheet of bubble wrap we can possibly come up with and put it with SCP-682 in a quiet, heavily reinforced room. If we can't kill it, maybe we can just keep it busy forever.

edited 29th Mar '17 4:13:59 PM by Incognitoburrito

Result: SCP-682 placated for 43 minutes. The following containment breach was the worst since the 'event of ██'. "More bubble wrap!!" -682

Test: Fire upon 682 with stalinium shells scavenged from old Soviet Second World War storade depots. "Nothing can stand up to that bias, not even 682"- Dr Clef

Result: SCP-682 knocks off the bullets, laughs and reveals that he has always preferred Tito.

Test: Shove SCP-682 into a typical Alexander Nevsky film.

Nevsky always wins. I recall the moment in one film when a soldier who tried to shoot him missed... while both were standing in a narrow hallway. I think Nevsky should be able to defeat SCP-682 through sheer Ass Pull. If not, then we'll have to utilize SCP-2761-RU-J, the Piano in the Bushes.

~ Dr. T██████

edited 30th Mar '17 6:34:03 AM by arcada188

Test: Make it fight Venom Deathpuff. The original Doompuff is a similarly invincible monster on its own and Venom Deathpuff is Doompuff evolved.

You need to write a result for the previous test.

Result: We all know that 682 is the ultimate Arse pull. He ate the guy. And doom-whateverhisnamewas was eaten. VERY QUICKLY. Even faster than the magician. What happened next was a small containment breach, which is suprising. It turns out that the less destructive forces of the men he absorbed diluted his destructiveness.

Test: TAKE SCP-682, AND PUSH HIM OVER THERE! And make it work.

Result: failure the bastard was to fat to move even with our best attempts.

Test:we have been sent help from the pilot of The machine that destroyed the great rx-3 to destroy SCP-682

"Big O SHOWTIME!"

edited 5th Apr '17 1:11:28 PM by vjoi

Result: When Big-0 was introduced, already in mech, 682 mutated into a form scaled to the size of it. The robot and pilot were brutally eversarated, since 682 is several times larger that a normal person, and it just shrugged off anything done to it in a few minutes.

"That was an AMAZING fight, however. Someone send me the footage of that. We might be able to pass it as the next Godzilla movie!" - Dr. Toaster

Test: Using rule of funny, have Magicarp use splash on SCP-682 before it realizes what happens. It should kill it, since without the rule of funny, it would not work.

Result: kinda-success while not lethal we have discovered SCP-682 has severe hydrophobia and caused most of the researchers to laugh their assess off when it screamed like a 5 year old girl.

Test:have the music mister enslave him.

Result: 682 finds the mister's music as charming as it finds us cute. That is to say when forced to listen it clawed at itself and the walls before finally slamming its body against the cell with enough force to damage the artifice but not quite breach containment. Cancelling experiment before SCP-682 is driven to even further aggression.

Test: Have SCP-451 pay 682 a visit. Hey, either a) the vanishing condition is contagious, b) it perceives something that can kill 682 that unaffected creation does not, c) he distracts that dang thing by sheer confusion fu, or d) 451 finally gets his wish and dies.

edited 6th Apr '17 7:29:26 AM by CenturyEye

Result: Both SCP-682 and SCP-451 showed apparent mutual disinterest in each other. No quantifiable result other than SCP-451 repeatedly leaving SCP-682's containment.

Test: Give SCP-682 a smart phone loaded with a variety of moble games. Those games have a tendency of being highly addicting. Perhaps it can keep 682 indefinitely occupied.

Result: It beat evry game on the spp store. Including endless or unbeatable ones. He then made an app that caused the deaths of several D-class rage quitting so hard they died.

" He beat flappy bird. He. Beat. FLAPPY BIRD. How even????" - Dr. Toaster

Test: Have Dr. Thaddeus X. trap him in a time loop. He is the foundations best time anomly expert. (Yes he is real.)

Result: Scp 682 has been unexplained due of being it it's cell after a few days

Test: Put Scp 682 in different room with 2 crocodiles in it

Result: The crocodiles quickly and messily devoured by 682. 682 does seem to appreciate their hides as it puts more focus into displaying the crocodile skins then the quickly retreating D-class personnel.

Test: Commission another copy of The Generally Nice, Friendly Thing That Can And Will Kill SCP-682 Permanently if it So Much As Spots That Damn Lizard from Dr. [REDACTED]. This time put the story into SCP-914 on the "fine" setting. Then create the story setting with SCP-826 and use D-class personnel to lure SCP-682 in.

Result:failure 682 had trained them to attack on sight and staged an escape attempt, the animals were terminated.

TEST: When it comes to giant robots, third times the charm. . .FINAL FUSION AUTHORIZED!