All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

We are the collective members of the TV Tropes "All Purpose Negima Fanfiction" Forum. To put it bluntly, we are a bunch of people on the internet who routinely get together and swap stories about Negima. In between that, we collect memes, poke fun at things in general, and discuss crack pairings. We're a rather varied bunch. We made this account to serve as our own collective portal into the site

Garfield

"Are you going to take much longer?" Asuna was starting to get really annoyed now.

Keep on trying me and I won't do it, the morbidly obese orange furball warned, his right paw STILL lazily pulling the piece of chalk across the ground.

"Hey, that's my line!" the redhead angrily snapped. "I've been standing here like an idiot for hours waiting for you to finish! It's only a circle! You aren't drawing the sketches for Tokyo Tower!"

The cat gave Negi an annoyed look. I told you we should have gone with the cook. Say, maybe you still can bring her here. And bring me some pork buns while you're at it.

Asuna stomped on the cat's head. "Like Hell! I haven't come this far just for you to toss me aside for someone who can feed you until you explode!"

"Asuna-san, please..." Negi weakly pleaded.

His feline friend tossed the chalk down, frustrated. Ooohh, I can't take any more of this! I need a nap to clear my troubled mind up. I can't work this way, I just can't. He turned his back on Asuna, laid down pulling his teddy bear towards himself, and quickly began snoring.

Asuna's face went bright red as smoke began to steadily blow out of her ears. "I should— I should— I should—!!!"

The cat interrupted his sleeping just long enough to wave a finger around. Whatever it is, in six hours, please. Be careful the circle's not erased in the meanwhile. I'll finish it later. Yeah.

Then Asuna began to strangle him, and Akamatsu-sensei realized it wouldn't work after all.

Pen-Pen

"ERRRNKKK!!" the penguin yelled while holding an useless clawed wing up. "ERRRNKKK, ERRNKK, ERNK ERNK! SKWALLLL!!!"

"... Haruna, can you understand what is he trying to tell us?" Yue hopefully asked.

Her taller friend shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"SKWAKKKKK!" Pen-Pen hopped up and down in place. "SKAWWK, SKAWWK, SKAAAWWK! ERNK, ERNK!"

"I wish Negi-sensei were here," Yue sighed. "He's the only one who can understand him."

"He looks quite steamed up," Kazumi pondered rubbing her chin. "Maybe he's trying to warn us about something."

"What is it, Pengy?" Haruna petted him. "Little Timmy fell down a well?"

Annoyed at being mocked, Pen-Pen slapped her hand away with a flipper. "EEEEERNKK!! ERNK, ERNK, ERNK!"

It was then that Nodoka walked into the room with a resignated, yet mortified expression.

"Ah, Honya-chan!" Kazumi perked up. "Good thing you're here! Can you use your Artifact and read Penny's mind? We can't make head or tails of what's going on with him."

"Actually, I already did," the librarian pulled a few cans out of the bag she was holding. She offered one of them at the bird, who quickly snatched it away, popping it open with his sharp beak and rushing to drink its contents down.

Then he belched.

"Out of all the magic-savvy penguins in the world, we had to get the one who's addicted to beer," Yue mused.

Looking back at it, it could have worked, but the sponsors complained it could push younger audiences towards drinking. So they made a middle of the road compromise with the chain smoking ermine. At least they could change the cigarettes to chocolate ones in the animated adaptation.

Hopefully no digitally edited lollipops, though.

65. The Melancholy of Negi Springfield

It’s, well… let’s put it this way. It’s been a long day for me… the train ride was brutal, for one, and –

“What’s that got to do with anything? I don’t care if you’re falling asleep standing up, you’re a member of the Dan now, and I expect you to act like it,” said the girl who had started this whole debacle, tucking her hair behind her ear. There were others in the room, too – students about my age, wearing uniforms that I assumed marked them as students from this school, with the exception of one… why she was wearing a maid costume, I’m not entirely sure. Bringing my attention back to the girl with ribbons in her hair, though, I imagine I could gather a basic idea. More importantly, though,

“Um… I’m terribly sorry, but what Dan is that?” I asked. I spoke at a normal level, but somehow it just sounded quiet in the room when the ribbon-girl wasn’t speaking. Likely because she tended to redefine ‘loud’ when she was – and from the look of things, I’d asked just the wrong question. Looking to the other boys in the room was no help – one just smiled apologetically at me, and the other turned away, muttering what could have been “Now you’ve done it” or even “Yare yare”.

“’What Dan is that’, he says,” she announced to the other students with an evil chuckle, leaning forward into my face. Now granted, I have… less reason than most to be sensitive to personal space invasion, but something about this girl, a year younger than me, made it hard to ignore her. “What Dan is that? Well, I’ll tell you,” she shouted suddenly, running around the table in the center of the room – narrowly avoiding knocking over the maid-costumed girl – and stamping a foot squarely onto the head of the table. “We members of this Dan, renowned the world over, have only one –”

“Y—your skirt, Su—” the maid girl… I’m going to use the word wibbled, because ‘melted’ isn’t an auditory verb… wibbled, dashing around the table. The ribbon girl ignored her aside from giving her a sharp look, presumably for interrupting her speech, and did nothing to fix her skirt… not that I was looking, naturally...

“Anyway,” she said, tugging on her armband. “Like I was saying, we members of this Dan, renowned the world over, have only one mission, only one guiding principle in our entire lives! Laws and rules are all well and good, but this takes precedence! So listen carefully!” She paused, clearing her throat, then pulled herself up to stand on the table itself.

“My goal – our goal – is…” she paused again, looking around at the other students, nodding… not quite encouragingly at them. Threateningly, perhaps. So it was that three of them – the smiling boy, the maid girl, and the ribbon girl – said the following sentence:

“To find aliens, time travelers, sliders and espers and have fun with them!”

Original idea and song by Over Master; Story by Ack Sed

27. Makie and the Brain

Makie (sitting before a small cage placed on her nightstand): "Tell me, Brain-sama... What are we going to do tonight?"

Mouse in the cage: "The same thing we do every night, Makie... Try to take over the world!"

Makie and the Brain
They're Makie and the Brain
Yes, Makie and the Brain
One is a genius, the other's just plain
He is egomaniacal, she's very nice
Their series have been spliced
They're wacky
They're Makie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Before each night is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
They'll take over the world
They're Makie and the Brain
Yes, Makie and the Brain
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain
To prove their lousy worth
They'll overthrow the Earth
They're wacky
They're Makie and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain - KAWAII!

---

In retrospect, she shouldn't have given him the magic pill. Before this he'd just been her pet mouse - now he was so... bossy. She sort of sympathised. If she'd been reduced to a couple of inches tall and locked in a cage, she'd be a little ticked off too.

But his plans...

"Tonight, we shall set into motion a plan so deviously subtle, so daring, that my name shall be spoken with awe forever more!"

Makie sighed. "All right Brain. Can you help me with my homework again? Ooh, I rhymed!"

Brain glared at Makie. "Of all the owners I could have had, it had to be you. You are not taking me seriously!"

"I am, I am! It's just I reeeally need to pass this maths test and you're so smart that it'd only take a minute..." Smart or not, flattery always got somewhere with him.

"I suppose I could spare the small amount of time it would take to demolish your teacher's pretensions of grandeur. Very well! Open my cage and hand me my pencil!"

Makie unlatched the cage door to let Brain jump out onto the bed as she took out her homework. The first time he'd walked upright, she'd thought he was doing a trick just for her, and had squeed and clapped excitedly. The shock of hearing him say, "I am NOT your performing dog." had ended that. Honestly, it was still cute.

The Brain (as he'd insisted upon being called ever since) took the proffered pencil stub and began muttering over her homework. "Quadratic equations - your teachers are even more moronic than I suspected. Calculus and trigonometry are true tools! But here is how it goes..." Makie tried her best to follow along as he explained. The others in 2-A wondered why she had so much time for gym - it was like her homework did itself lately.

The dreaded homework was seen to within fifteen minutes. Now for the other part, the part that exhausted her and was the real reason for her erratic grades. The way he explained it, a world under him did seem nice, and he wasn't malicious, not like Haruna could be... it was just she couldn't see how a mouse could rule the world. She kept this to herself.

The Brain began to pace across the bedspread. "Makie! What is the current price for a square metre of land in downtown Tokyo?"

"Uum... a lot?"

"Indeed, Makie, it is 'a lot', but not as much as you would think, after the real-estate bubble. According to my calculations, it is due to rise appreciably with the new influx of second generation Japanese returning to set up business in their home country. If I buy it, they will take advantage of the cheap land, their businesses will flourish and drive up prices, then I shall sell it off to the highest bidder and utilise the money to make the first step on my path to WORLD DOMINATION! Are you with me?"

"Yes Brain!", said Makie, carried along by his enthusiasm. "Only... I don't have the money to buy land, and I'm not sure a 14-year-old girl can own property legally."

"Bah - a mere trifle. Never fear, for this is the most brilliant part. In order to acquire enough yen to buy land in Tokyo and corner the market in the most lucrative real estate area in the world, I shall steal the Tokyo Tower!"

Oh boy.

---

Even sneaking out of the door, bundled up in her darkest hoodie and grey jogging bottoms, was making Makie's heart pound so loudly she was sure the guard on duty downstairs could hear it, and she wasn't even in the university labs yet. Hinata-san always fell asleep around this time, but she could be merciless if you were caught after curfew; in her opinion, the only reason any girl would want to sneak out was to meet a BOY.

Makie wondered if she could get away with telling her the truth: working towards a better tomorrow by helping a superintelligent mouse steal and ransom the Tokyo Tower. She didn't quite believe it herself.

She looked over the plan in the glow of the emergency lights.

1. Sneak into Hakase's lab and 'borrow' necessary components.
2. ???
3. PROFIT

"Ah, Brain-sama," she whispered, "I'm not so sure I understand this plan."

The Brain poked his head out from under her hood. "Why? I have simplified it to a level that even your intellect can comprehend. Besides, the complicated part is simply too complicated to summarise. It is your job to convey me there so I can begin my work."

She sighed (quietly) and leaned over the banister with a little mirror to confirm that Hinata-san was asleep. Lucky! Her heartbeat dropped to something approaching normality. She swung over the banister and hung by her fingertips, dropping down from the first floor and landing on the heavy carpet with barely a thump. They approached the front desk, where Brain scuttled across to the security system and tapped in the code; it blinked off. Brain ran up her arm and into her hood again.

Stopping only to change her slippers for her second-best trainers from her pack, she opened the door and slipped out.

Interlude:

177A Bleecker Street, Greenwich Village.

Stephen Strange stood calmly perusing through the ancient tomes of his library. Book after book, for the last few hours, without ever saying a single word.

Wong's figure stood at the doorway then, with his arms crossed behind his back.

"Master," the Tibetan man announced, "As much as I hate to interrupt your estimulating research binges, I must bring you news of a visit."

"Tell the Guardian to come in, Wong," Strange absently nodded, closing a thick manuscript down. "I knew it would come to this eventually."

"Very well, Sir," the manservant respectfully bowed before leaving. "Ring the bell if you need tea, snacks, your lawyer's number, or... private protection."

The taller man sighed. Had Wong ever been that... special... in past iterations?

Regardless, there was no time for such trivail considerations. not when the woman carrying the long, thin Key of Time itself calmly strode into the room, with the aplomb and subtle majesty befitting her role.

She had short blond hair, and a black mole under her left eye. Cold green eyes, and a svelte, appealing body, still youthful and healthy, showcased by her short skirted outfit, with tall and shiny black boots, a large bow over her chest, and a golden tiara on her forehead.

He coldly focused his eyes on hers. "Doctor Akagi."

"Stephen," she greeted back. "It's been a while."

"If you say so," With a polite gesture, he invited her to sit down, a chair moving itself near her. She accepted it gracefully, never letting her staff aside, always keeping it firmly gripped.

"Thank you," the woman said. "No doubt, you already know why am I here."

"Mahora," Strange spoke.

"Mahora," she confirmed. "I'm going to keep a close eye this time."

"I can't say I approve," he dryly said, pulling a chair of his own and sitting down as well. "You, more than anyone else, should be aware of the need of not interfering."

"I know the world of mages is strictly under your supervision, but this situation in particular has spilled over well into our domain by now," the woman countered. "This can't keep itself for long, and you know it. I'm sorry."

He slowly shook his head, his chin vaguely resting on the back of a hand. His eyes were quiet but deeply cynical, like those of someone who has seen too much. "No, you aren't. And you probably shouldn't be. Maybe, after all, I'm the one who is in the wrong here."

He breathed deeply. "I won't attempt to stop you. You have your ways, different from those of Meioh Setsuna. It doesn't mean I agree with them, but I can respect them. And place a vote of trust upon you."

"I wouldn't have accepted this role if I hadn't fully believed I could live up to her legacy. Thats' exactly why do I have do this. Rest assured, the Gate of Time will be safe during my absence."

He nodded. "I know. That isn't what concerns me."

"Then exactly what?"

"The same thing that concerns you. This time, we cannot predict the outcome. This time, the outline is all but impossible to follow."

"I'll supervise it personally, then," she promised. "And I'll stop them if I need to."

Stephen Strange hummed thoughtfully. "Just pray your protector planet that doesn't just open the door... for something much worse, Sailor Pluto."

Next Saturday Night:

As much as Chamo had insisted on the need of training in the use of Artifacts, especially together, it had been truly difficult, borderlining the nearly impossible, to pull that off. They simply had nowhere to do that. Misora's club had meeting every other day, and finding a large empty lot away from curious eyes at a superpopulated campus had proved to be a task beyond any of the team members' capacities.

The team, Chisame thought as she lazily tapped on her keyboard. It was so weird to think of them as that. Maybe 'Desperate Temporal Alliance to Survive' would be more accurate, although Sensei and the other idiots seemed to be almost warming up to the notion of becoming a group now.

Regardless, she, at the very least, had found a good use for her own Artifact. With the mice's help, she had boosted her webpage's popularity to astonishing levels; from getting links all across the Web to improve her layout and image quality to degrees she never had thought possible. Kotokon's page had been left behind in the dust.

Chamo, of course, had been angry about her wasting time on that instead of using her Artifact for offense and defense practices, but she had silenced him out with a few fine cosplay pics.

Satomi had tested her Artifact with the Robotics Club a few times, passing it off as a design of her own creation. The results, she had said, were nothing short of amazing; she could benchpress nearly a ton or something like that, not to mention punching holes through walls, blah, blah, blah. That was the scary part. The scarier part was she was talking about improving upon it herself. The scariest part was Chisame was sure she could do it.

Misora had a harder time with hers, since it was a pain to find a place where to run faster than the Road Runner without bumping into something or, worse, someone. But at least, she had said, it had secretly made finishing her chores at the church a lot faster and easier. Much more time to waste around doing nothing with Cocone afterward. Whoever 'Cocone' was. Sensei had said something about her being a friend of Misora.

Still, they should have a few more days left to find a practice place until the next full moon. With any luck, Eva wouldn't attack her even during that first full moon. Maybe she only was boasting, even! Yeah, fat chance.

Chisame sighed while she turned her computer off. The fruits of the Internet victory were highly sweet to munch onto, but after enjoying them, she actually felt somewhat empty. It had been to easy. It robbed her from a lot of the thrill, of the challenge.

Her gaze wandered over to Hakase, sleeping on the lower bunk without any care in the world, drooling out of a corner of her mouth. As usual, the brat had sleepwalked over to lie at her side, right where he slept now clutching Satomi's blue pajama-clad body like a koala hugging its tree.

Hasegawa breathed out, undoing her ponytail so her long hair flowed down. For a moment she only stood there, relatively fresh off the shower, wearing only her panties and a very long white shirt, the top two buttons off revealing some developing cleavage, which covered past down her crotch and until the middle of her thighs. If the brat could see her then, she would have freaked out (almost as much as him), but as it was now, she actually could bear it.

The ermine slept heavily in his pilfered underwear drawer. Good thing, too. That at least kept him out of hers.

Chisame paused before going up to her bunk, watching at both of her placidly sleeping human roommates.

Sensei had not slept with her in days. Was it a result of Hakase's bed simply being more at hand, or did he, for some reason, just prefer her nightly company?

Eh. As if Chisame cared.

Still, she didn't move yet.

She hugged her upper body. The night was cold.

For a moment, she wondered how would it feel... to...

The teenager debated what to do with herself for a few moments, and in a full state of good mind, her rational part would have won fair and square. But she was sleepy and feeling cold, and for some stupid reason, snuggling over with them looked like a good idea. Only for a few brief moments, yeah. No more.

Just to know how would it feel like. For that once, and nothing more.

Quietly, in a perfect silence, she wobbled ahead working herself into the bed. Awkwardly, she maneuvered her body behind Sensei's, lying down touching his back with her chest, very slightly. He squirmed a bit, made an incoherent sound, but never opened his eyes. Half-satisfied with the result, she passed an arm over him, then to lazily envelope it over Hakase's petite frame as well.

And it felt good.

Really good.

It was so freaking wrong.

She was holding them both close to her, and it was disgusting and stupid and bothersome, but at the same time, it just felt too warm and comforting to describe it with words.

She closed her eyes, muttering to herself. She only would enjoy a hour or two of that, then go back to her own bunk and forget all that ever happened. Yes, now that was a good plan! A really great one, yessir.

She slowly fell asleep with her chin coming to rest upon Negi's right shoulder.