Favorite Simpsons Quotes?

Joan Rivers in the episode "Viva Ned Flanders": "You've got to help me! My daughter's not talented!"

Also from that episode:

Flanders praying in a casino.

"Dear Lord, what should I do?"

Casino Security via mic: "Keep gaming."

"What?"

"It means gambling. Keep gambling."

"Twenty dollars? Aw, I wanted a peanut!"
Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
"Explain."
Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
"Woohoo!"

"English side ruined... must use French instructions... 'Le grille'? What the hell is that?!"

"But when I'm passionate about something, I see it through to the end!"
Father! Give me legs!

"WHAT?! SPIDER POISON IS PEOPLE POISON?!"

edited 6th May '15 10:06:22 AM by ElkhornTheDowntrodden

Government agent: Most people write letters to movie stars this Simpson guy writes letters to movies.

Homer's letter: Dear Die Hard you rock especially the part where the guy was on the roof. P.S. Do you know Mad Max?

From "Summer of 4 ft 2":

Homer: I forgot my swimsuit too, but I improvised! -is wearing the welcome mat, goes outside- hello! -cue police siren-

I remember something from that one Halloween short about the gremlin on the schoolbus:

Flanders: (picking up the gremlin) Awww, it's a hideous monster! It's trying to claw my eyes out!

• Kirk: Look, I sleep in a racing car. Do YOU sleep in a racing car?
• Homer: *blankly* I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
• Kirk: *deflated* ......Oh yeah....

Homer pwns Kirk without even meaning to.

edited 12th May '15 6:56:49 PM by Psi001

There's another great moment in that episode after Bart meets Chase (Luann's new boyfriend), he proceeds to hit Homer in the back with a chair.

And of course, there's "Can I Borrow A Feeling?".

The Terrible Interviewees Montage from "A Star Is Burns":

Hannibal Lecter: Excellent. (hisses menacingly)
Mr. Burns: Next.
William Shatner: Exc-ell-ent.
Mr. Burns: Next.
Homer: Exactly, hehehe (realizes) D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Next.
Bumblebee Man (cheerfully) Excelente!
Mr. Burns: Ah, this is going nowhere. I'll just have to play myself.

My favorite Bumblebee Man moment comes from his scene in "22 Short Films About Springfield"

In the same episode, "We did twenty takes, and that was the best one."

He had a cactus on his back.

A one-liner from "The Red Dress Press."

Kent Brockman: "This is Kent Brockman reporting live from Geezer Rock. How do i prove we're live? [beat]. Penis!"

From "The Joy of Sect":

Ned Flanders: As a gracious host, I'm obligated to offer you gentlemen a beer. But I'm just so gosh-darned mad, it's going to be mostly head!

Also from that episode, Ned killing the mood when Willie is trying to turn Homer back from the cultists.

The weird pop-up ad thingy on the bottom of the website made me remember another one.

Nelson: What is this place?
Bart: Branson, Missouri. My dad says it's like Vegas, if it were run by Ned Flanders.

I remember this from The Simpsons Movie:

Ralph Wiggum: (after seeing Bart skateboarding while naked) I like men now!

Two from The Day the Violence Died:

(While the other Simpsons are enjoying their dinner, Grandpa and Chester stare bitterly at each other)
Grandpa: I thought I recognized you! I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop, and you never did it!
Chester: Those corn muffins were lousy!
Grandpa: Paint my chicken coop!
Chester: Make me!
(they start fighting)
Marge: One of them has to go.
Homer: Okay, Grampa.
Marge: No, the b-u-m.

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Krusty the Clown, have you ever seen this so-called animation genius before?
Krusty (mad): Yes I have!
Blue-Haired Lawyer: You have?!
Krusty: Yes! I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence, but he never did it!
Chester: Those blintzes were terrible!
Krusty: Paint my fence!
Chester: Make me!
they start fighting)
Krusty: You give me back those blintzes!
Judge Snyder: Order, order, we don't care about your blintzes.
(Krusty still looks mad)

edited 23rd May '15 6:56:09 PM by Demetrios

Seeing one today reminded me of this line:

(Homer accidentally runs his car into a deer statue at the La Brea Tar Pits exhibit)
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer.

One I forgot last time:

"It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you."
"Hmm... increase my killing power, eh?"

From "Blood Feud":

• Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
• Guy at post office: Okay, Mr. Burns, uhh, what is your first name?
• (beat)
• Homer: I don't know

edited 19th Jun '15 9:34:45 AM by powerpuffbats

Homer: Great plan, boy.

Lisa: I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!

Bart: Grampa, I need some advice. Did you ever have a crush on an older woman?
Grampa: I had a crush on the oldest woman! 120 years old she was. Here’s a picture of her delivering Eubie Blake
Bart: What happened?
Grampa: She fell in with that Guinness Book of Records crowd. Suddenly she didn’t have any time for me. Oh, I wore a 15 pound beard of bees for that woman, but it just wasn’t enough.