Jester of the Birbal Court
"Science progressed in many ways like the discovery of antimatter,the banning of antimatter" or "Indulge me in this analogy.Imagine the dog from John Wick then imagine that happening to 2 out of 3 relationships that include a criminal."
edited 8th Jul '17 5:12:30 PM by MovieReference
The Prodigal Son returns.
Blackbox.
"Hello, this is The Author. And I am not pleased to see you.". -The Author, seconds before kicking arse.
Well, then SHOOT!
The hero's actions are given context:
"So you killed one of this Alice woman's agents," Layi said, grinning, "and so completely broke her assassination plot that she'll likely never get another shot at Iveya. I'm guessing she's more pissed than a boar with a broken spearhead stuck in his rump."
Alice excused herself from the meeting to check her phone, decrypting and reading the message that had come in. Her expendable assassin in Oriyith had been expended, and Iveya was out of reach. She'd have to fall back to plan B; a few well-placed bribes would smooth things over with the woman who wanted Iveya dead. "Kronus," she informed the phone, "change the agenda for the 4:00 P.M. meeting on Monday, remind me to bring some gold. And a bowl of those crumbly old lady candies my guest loves so much."
The AI replied, "4:00 P.M. Meeting change: bring gold, pillow mints. Acknowledged."
She shrugged and returned to the meeting. "Sorry," she said, "had to deal with an inconvenience in Project Prometheus. It's sorted now. So, back to important matters. Totally with Hadia, the pink labcoats would be a bit much. I mean, it's a breast cancer awareness month ad, a bit of kitsch goes with the territory. But some social media smartass would have a field day with labcoats that could hide stains too easily. So I'm thinking instead we have the diverse-row-of scientists all in white lab coats over light, neutral tones. Y'know, really bring out the differences, plus uniformed diversity always has that really nice non-threatening aspect. All with larger-than-average ribbon pins. Maybe have post-processing tap down the saturation on anything not pink, make it pop. Or would that be too 2010s? I still like the lab beaker full of pink... I mean, anything pink and bubbly works, just throw some food coloring in carbonated water... cliche, I know, but just too classic. Unless, Anita, you had a suggestion?"
"No, no," Roshni replied to Layi, "it's Western Amalgamated. They don't care."
edited 27th Jul '17 7:42:24 AM by KillerClowns
The World's Least Powerful Man
edited 28th Jul '17 3:31:59 AM by dvorak
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Jester of the Birbal Court
Damn you Space AT&T!
The Prodigal Son returns.
...Can they just all be odd men out?
And these are the people who shot a missile at Fort Irwin?
Sir, I enlisted because I thought I'd be serving my country. Not because I thought I'd be fighting crazy cyborgs, undead ladies, and super Luchadors!
...
Oh, that is wonderful. So they also have a giant indestructible pig from Greek myth. That...that is Grade A wonderful.
I'll call you back sir, I think I hear the pig outside.
The Void, acting through Terry Bramford, goes Ten Plagues of Egypt on Hydra Cap;
The dark spirit of death whispered across the land, "Let the people go, and the suffering ends."
But the Inhumans were not let go.
And so The Void did devastate the agricultural centers, crops withered and died and sustenance animals went mad and attacked their owners, their bodies decaying and spoiling as they lived.
And so did The Void go to Rogers, the self styled dictator of this land. "Let the Inhumans go."
Rogers whispered to the skeletal being, clutching its scythe and brandishing its eight wings, "Let my heart be hardened - I will not let the Inhumans go."
edited 8th Aug '17 8:51:04 PM by NickTheSwing
Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
You ever read that section of Exodus? It's actually pretty sinister - Rameses only held out for all ten plagues because God kept 'hardening his heart' so that the Egyptians' steadily escalating suffering would serve as the ultimate example of why you do not fuck with His chosen people. If the Void had mind-control powers in addition to everything else, I could totally see him doing that.
edited 8th Aug '17 5:15:48 PM by Iaculus
What's precedent ever done for us?
The Void is heavily implied to be the Angel of Death from the Bible. He actually appears to be coalescing above Moses during the last Plague in one part in the comics - think for a moment on the manifold forms of The Void. How did it take Egypt's Firstborn? And just what is he gonna do in that last Plague in the modern version?
And yeah, Void actually reveals he did in fact pull the "hardening his heart" thing. Fuhrer Rogers' reality and personality had been distorted enough already by that silly girl - what I did was less overt mind control than pushing him toward something he was already predisposed to doing.
Yeah, this is basically meant by Void to be an object lesson.
edited 8th Aug '17 8:51:47 PM by NickTheSwing
Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.
The World's Least Powerful Man
"One day, one of them will fall down the stairs and hit his head in just the right way. Or their minds will adapt and throw off the coercion. And then they'll come for you. But we chose to serve you willingly. We're the only ones you can trust..."
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Meito Anizawa, Anime Tenchou
"I will NEVER forgive you for this unforgivable insult."
"Leftover items still have value!"
Two-bit blockhead
"I've gathered you all here today because one of you...is a murderer!"
- collective gasp*
"Er, a vandal! I mean one of you is a vandal! ...sorry, got lost in the moment, there."
Weird in a Can (updated M-F)
"The first thing he saw, before everything went black, was a human-sized reptilian bird with a mouthful of sharp teeth in place of a beak and long, stiff tail. The last thing he saw was a scaly foot with a single huge, curved claw aiming straight for his throat."
Context: Matthew gets involved in an argument over the proposed new stadium at his school.
Jackson as usual played the contrarian to his first string counterpart, "You don't want to get a huge, fancy new stadium? But all the other teams...don't you want to look good?"
Matthew looked over at Jackson and nodded, "So they do. But just because they do, does that mean we have to as well? Jackson...is football about honestly enjoying yourself, for the love of the sport? Or is it just masturbating your own ego? And at the expense of other, non-jock school mates who we expect to support us..."
Jackson actually went quiet at that - which was an accomplishment in and of itself.
ethnic slur
“What do you think, Brian?”
“I don’t wear clothes. I wouldn’t know.”
—-
“You’re my friend, that’s weird! And you’re a cat!”
“And you’re being a pussy!”
—-
“Well… thanks,” she said, confused. She unfolded the letter. Three words were written on it in barely understandable chicken scratch. ‘Fuk u bich’.
—-
“Told you we should have added a camera,” Brian muttered.
“And put it where? Up his ass?” Burrito snarked. “At least we’d get front row seats to the action, then.”
—-
“Did you say something?” AJ heard Red suddenly ask.
“Oh, um-” AJ immediately sprung back up and saw Red standing in front of him, still without his shirt. “No, I’m just… talking to myself,” AJ explained, beginning to blush. “I do that sometimes.”
“Oh,” Red replied. “I don’t,” he added some seconds later.
—-
“I heard some scientist guy say once that humans only like us inkay because we remind them of babies.”
“Their larvae? Oh, I hate those. They just scream and scream and scream. And still they bring ‘em to the shows and distract the hell outta everyone. Why couldn’t they lay eggs like mon? Eggs don’t make nearly as much noise. In any case, sayin’ we look like those maggots is definitely an insult.”
i don't pay taxes so that you can tell me buff squid men aren't real. go home hitler
Context: a legendary hero king from the backstory has a rather sad moment.
As the machines began their descent, activating old shields to secure the inhabitants from any danger from entering the atmosphere, Vonh looked back. Through the depths of this void outside the world - space, he recalled.
Viseilia, the Predatory World, was dead. Balmung, the malign tormentor, was gone. He was King of Jerdia, had a young son on the way - and yet the young King could not stop - would not stop - to contemplate, lest a great, regretful sadness swallow him whole in a whirlpool of regrets.
But now he could no longer stop this, he could no longer force down his own feelings.
I might have won the war against Viseilia, saved all these people...but so many more were not saved. They sacrificed their lives so we could flee to a new world.
Then there was the crushingly depressing to consider, And...Terra is gone...it will NEVER be back. I've lost everything I knew from there, every home I've known—-
He knew his wife the Queen Consort walked in, he just could not bring himself to turn his head to look at her in this state. She too lost everything because of him. Kayla lost her kingdom, her parents, her older brother, and her Mages' School to Viseilia. All because she decided she loved him.
"Vonh? Vonh are you—-"
"No, no Kayla. I'm not alright." Vonh choked a little, fighting back tears, "I-I know...we knew this...this would happen if we went with the plan. It doesn't make losing everything easier, and I feel even worse knowing I afflicted you with yet greater woes."
Kayla walked over to her husband and only just managed to force the muscular young sovereign to his feet after he started slumping, "Don't be so hard on yourself. If it wasn't for you everyone would've been stranded on the planet. We have a future again, and both of our countries can be rebuilt."
Vonh whispered, "How? How can we rebuild after that?"
Kayla smiled at him and brought him into a kiss, and then said, "It will be difficult, but at the end of it, isn't home the place where you find your loved ones? As long as everyone is there for each other, New Terra is just as much our home as the old Terra was. The ends of Terra don't need to contain us."
"It rains almost every day here. It reminds me of something my father once said. I was young but it’ll always stick with me until the day I die. It was raining, just like it does here and we were walking, going somewhere. I asked him, “Why does it rain?”
He said, “Whenever a good person dies, the angels start to cry. That’s what causes rain.”
It sounded so impactful, so human to say. I guess a lot of good people have died recently. It always rains, the angels always cry now. And here I sit, thinking about the world, listening to the rain come down outside, and deciding what words I should write. I already know what I’ll tell you. A simple story, with no meaning or message behind it. Just a story, to ease the boredom of the world. Enjoy."
“We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” - Lewis Carroll
The World's Least Powerful Man
"Look, Your Majesty; there comes a point where I can't describe it any better than 'advanced quantum physics' because you'd need six different PHD's to understand even the 'Layman's Terms'"
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Justifier of stupid ideas
Context: a Mad Scientist Eldritch Abomination is Having Tea With Cthulhu. "No. I refuse to get involved in your political fracas, especially when you try to get elected by pandering to your cultists."
97% of all fandoms are comprised of sane, reasonable people. The remaining 3% are here, on this wiki.
Context: Henderson is trying to make one of his robots intimidating to a particular pair of characters...and it goes awry.
"So, Justin, what kind of programming did you put into Nanara?" Grant Erdhart - Henderson's chief lieutenant - asked.
"Jackson White found the time to discover bisexuality in Europe. I created an intimidating battle robot, and then programmed it with the brainwaves of the top 20 most homophobic and bigoted United States pundits and politicians."
Grant stared for a moment, and then figured it could work, if done correctly. "Well, let's watch through your viewing...screen...thing."
Justin wiped his face with his palm, sighing, "It is called the Palanquor. But lets."
They would immediately see how wrong things could go.
At White's Apartment just out of town, Jackson whispered to Shuuji, "Trust me, man, ever since I came back, I've been in one hundred percent form."
Shuuji asked, "...is that back from Europe, or when you came Back from the Dead?"
Jackson did not immediately answer that question. And he never quite had the chance to, when a gigantic cylindrical machine with four large lobster like claws smashed through the wall, leaving the two shirtless men baffled and then figuring; "Henderson."
What they did not figure was its speech pattern. As soon as it Kool Aid Man'd its way through the wall, it announced in total computer monotone, "It is Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve."
Jackson just winced and asked as he brought some metal from inside one of the desks to his hand. "...that's your entrance? What number did that anarchist Ultron do on this thing?"
As far as banter, Nanara failed spectacularly, "Its like in golf. A lot of people - I don't mean to sound trivial - but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters. Its really unattracti—-"
Shuuji called his weapon - a magitech spear - to his hand and blasted the machine back with a gust of compressed wind, "...did he seriously just send a Right Wing Spambot to attack us? Everyone else probably gets a complex Grandmaster, and we get Mecha-Limbaugh over there."
Henderson and Grant watched the ensuing events, and Justin groaned, "...can we forget that one was ever ours?"
"Sure, man, sure."
The World's Least Powerful Man
![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
edited 26th Oct '17 1:49:38 AM by dvorak
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Kerron: Could he clone himself a bunch of times?
Reiji: Haven't heard of this one. The Manifold...did he have a bunch of auxiliary bodies?
Antonius: No and no. He had 21 children and used them as his generals. Yes - he used his teenage to early twenties children as his generals. I never said he was a particularly bright man.
Kerron: Well, that is kind of lame.
Antonius: Yes - he ended up vanquished by some local warlord and one of his kids apparently fought over the Scion of the Eight Dark Gods position with the more notable people at the time and died in a humiliating fashion. Lesson; don't be Scytherax - don't practice nepotism.
edited 4th Dec '17 11:55:22 PM by NickTheSwing
Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.
The World's Least Powerful Man
For context; the Secretary General of the Human Commonwealth addressing a drow Matriarch.
edited 17th Dec '17 12:22:36 AM by dvorak
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
plant
From a scene when a bunch of friends are filming a travel commercial for their city.
Elvira: We literally shot this scene yesterday.
edited 7th Dec '17 1:53:14 AM by n3rd_d4sh
" I'm the princess! Everyone has to do what I say!"
From the protagonist's response to the antagonist's "The Reason You Suck" Speech: "Yes, I know that the heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing, but the two should at least be on speaking terms."
The world ended when the prophet said, but you're too sinful to notice.