Favorite lines from your own writing

One little descriptive line I like:

Very, very funny.

Kudos on writing an appropriately imposing and condescending retort. Not sure about the words "a tornado," though; it doesn't ring quite right. Something with "the" should be there, something more elemental-sounding. I do like the nod to Lovecraft's "The Other Gods", however.

"Tempest", maybe? "Tornado" has a bit of a geographic connotation to it. But sweet blooming rhodophyte, that's how they should've done that scene in the movie. (minus "them", of course)

Yes, that's the line that gave me some trouble—I wanted to invoke an image of locking eyes against the vast creature inhabiting the storm, whose attention is focused in the tornado's eye (literally). "Tempest" may work better within the constraints, even if it loses the double meaning of the word.

I never was content with Dumbledore's theory that the Hallows (or the Time-Turners, or the Veil) were made by a simply very skilled wizard, and they're obviously beyond the capability of the society to manufacture. Plus the legends involved had them be handed down by Death himself, and even if it wasn't the Reaper who granted the wishes, I think it's not out of the question that they were made with supernatural—as opposed to merely magical—assistance. The final link in that chain was Tim Powers' interpretation of angels and djinn in Declare, and the pieces snapped into place.

(Incidentally, JHM, that was where I got the imagery—that, and the original Arabic folklore that Powers drew upon for the imagery of the angel of death. I didn't make any conscious nods to Lovecraft; probably a case of parallel thinking, or drawing on similar source material for inspiration.)

This one mainly works with a little bit of context. Amber has just seen a trio of criminals break into an out-of-the-way building.

Wow. I don't know much about the rest of your story, but that's pretty interesting and you managed to make it funny, too.

Haven’t most people wondered about a perfect world? For centuries, people have dreamed, conquered, ruled, preached, worked to make their version of perfect a reality. What is perfect, though? Is it a world of peace and prosperity? A world of total freedom, and independence? Is it when everyone can be equal, or when everyone has a place in society, a place tailored just for them? Nobody really knows what ‘perfect’ is…but sometimes one person’s ideals, and their determination to make them happen, can create worlds that come pretty close…

edited 18th Jul '14 11:48:01 AM by Sibuna

The questions there draw me in... And the last line makes me want to read more...

Thank you! There is going to be an underlying theme about "perfection" and what each of the characters believe would make the world "perfect". The world in the story as it is at the beginning appears perfect, but is really hiding dark secrets, despite the leader doing their best to keep everyone safe and happy. Some characters just see him as an Evil Overlord and believe that they could run things much better... Anyways, I'm glad it interested you!

You're welcome!

Nice work, Sibuna. I really like the "dreamed, conquered, ruled, preached, worked" part. Although it might sound even better if you add an "and" before "worked."

edited 19th Jul '14 6:05:55 PM by resetlocksley

Yeah, that does sound better.

Here's a mushy, sentimental passage from a mostly abandoned project of mine.

I can provide context if anyone wants.

Awh... Cute. After some final battle or such?

Interesting guess, but this actually takes place at the beginning of the story. Caffrey and Locklear along with four other characters have been put in suspended animation to carry out some sort of space mission thingy. Coming out of said suspended information is traumatic, incredibly uncomfortable and frightening. Locklear was awoken some time before Caffrey and had a hard time dealing with the trauma.

Ah, interesting. Without context it definitely seems like Locklear is waiting and hoping that Caffrey will wake up after injury or being knocked unconscious or such. I love their names by the way.

—

I don't know why, since it's not all that funny in context, but this amuses me:

"Jess, Crystal just freaked out at the curtain." J-L said, poking his head into the doctor's room.

"Again? Fourteen's meant to be when they stop freaking out at stuff... Not start freaking out at other things..."

edited 21st Jul '14 7:21:23 AM by Arcee6

Eh, could probably use some context.

"It was at this unfortunately late moment when I realized he was completely fucking insane."

edited 22nd Jul '14 12:05:42 PM by BiggerBen

"The fact that you're alive, dreaming, and that I'm here using words to communicate with you in your dreams is nothing short of a miracle. This universe has come so far, would you let that progress be erased?"

Ah. The two characters are human, and the character they're talking about, Crystal, is the setting's Lizard species. They go through a phase between nine and fourteen of freaking out at everyday objects. The fact she's still freaking out at fourteen is the start of the reveal that she has severe brain damage that means she likely won't reach adulthood (for them, 50) and will be childlike for however long she lives.

In other news, there's this line:

Robots with champagne glasses. Are we sure we've not gone insane?

edited 23rd Jul '14 3:18:17 PM by Arcee6

After an escalating set of verbal gamesmanship, the villain pulls out their trump card...

...only to discover the other party isn't in the mood to listen anymore and has vacated the area.

edited 24th Jul '14 9:36:15 PM by Night

..."A person can know everything about everything, but still not have and answer to an actual question...." (Lacy Dawn in Rarity from the Hollow contemplating about her android boyfriend, for when she is old enough to have one.)

Typo. You mean 'an', yeah?

This is just the first line of my Ventfiction story, inspired by actual events.

Sounds good!

Why are two of my most recent RP characters on the run? Well...

"Look, he was drunk! And...impolite! And getting all feely and impertinent! All I did was discourage him!"

"Well, I bloody hope you're happy with how things went, Sparky. Do you have any idea how much trouble we'll be in if a major noble house ends up unable to produce any heirs because of your choice in footwear?"

(For context, Sparky wears some very nice shoes indeed: real leather, silver buckles...steel heels and toecaps...)

edited 27th Jul '14 2:44:04 PM by SabresEdge

Heh. Clever.

A lizard folk talking with a (human) woman about moulting.

"You think moulting is weird? Your genitals bleed every month and you think it's normal!"