Don't Try It
Goofus was a Captain Planet villain.
Gallant regularly exercises and eats properly.
It's Over Anakin, I have the high ground!
The Absolute Madman
Goofus is The Comic Book Guy
Gallant reviews by stating both the good and bad with precise research.
"We be we baby!"
The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
Goofus says Ruined Forever like it's going out of style.
Gallant isn't allergic to pollen.
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
Mweheheh
Goofus almost died from pollen at least twice.
Gallant doesn't let TV Tropes ruin his life.
edited 17th Mar '15 3:44:23 PM by Spinosegnosaurus77
Peace is the only battle worth waging.
Asgore Adopts Noelle
Goofus died from binging on TV Tropes while ignoring everything else (eating, sleeping, etc).
Gallant always posts a reply immediately.
OH YES!!
Goofus waits at least ten minutes to respond.
Gallant uses strategy to beat That One Boss
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus is the Leeroy Jenkins guy.
Gallant builds stable bridges.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Maid of Time
Goofus purposely rigs bridges to collapse.
Gallant has saved the world at least thrice.
i think i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart
OH YES!!
Goofus almost destroyed it twice.
Gallant tests his products for possible carcinogens and other hazards.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Fly Air Madeline
Goofus coats his plush toys in lead paint and stuffs them with asbestos.
Gallant sets his clocks for Daylight Savings Time.
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
The Absolute Madman
Goofus hibernated during the whole season.
Gallant takes Aleve gel pills for his Arthritis.
"We be we baby!"
The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
Goofus binges on random prescription store drugs for no reason.
Gallant's puppy won first place at the Westminister Dog Show.
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
Gooofus' puppy didn't make it past the first round of the dogfighting tournament.
Gallant always keeps his promises.
...eheh
Mweheheh
Goofus goes to the pub when his friends need him most.
Gallant knows Chris Brown is a dick.
Peace is the only battle worth waging.
The Absolute Madman
Goofus lives under a rock so he doesn't know shit about Chris Rock.
Gallant is no ordinary boy.
"We be we baby!"
OH YES!!
Goofus is a brown-haired white kid who only wears basketball shorts, annoying neon, and snapbacks, and is a racist, homophobic, mysogynistic, transphobic, and ableist asshole. Just like 90% of the white boys in my school.
Gallant saves the princess.
edited 19th Mar '15 4:05:57 PM by Landorkus
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Tief girl with eartude
Goofus forcefully marries the princess and tells her to Stay in the Kitchen.
Gallant wears gloves while working in a freezer.
edited 19th Mar '15 4:12:22 PM by Bisected8
TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faerGoofus gets his hand stuck to the ice and frozen until his hand falls off.
Gallant dries his hands before operating electronics.
...eheh
Lovely Legilimens
Goofus brings his toaster to the shower.
Gallant takes care of his younger sibling.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
OH YES!!
Goofus lets his little sibling fend for themself.
Gallant kills the villain swiftly and with as little pain as possible.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
Goofus makes his opponent suffer due to his ineptitude.
Gallant gave himself over to the cops.
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
Asgore Adopts Noelle
Goofus makes sure he takes out as many as he can before he kills himself.
Gallant doesn't blow up the earth.
Goofus? He just pushed that Big Red Button... for the fifth time.
Gallant always follows the instruction manual.
...eheh
Mweheheh
Goofus feeds the instruction manual to his dog.
Gallant always wipes his ass.
Peace is the only battle worth waging.
Goofus had the senses beaten out of him.
Gallant is one of the Wild Kratts.
"We be we baby!"