Gallant and Goofus

Goofus does that, and also pees on them.

Gallant doesn't fall for email scams.

Goofus sent his life savings to several "Nigerian Princes" over the last two weeks.

Gallant doesn't believe in going to war.

edited 17th Jan '17 5:18:00 PM by lewattoo

Goofus believes that war is the best way to stop war.
Sadly, most of the guys who run this world are a bunch of Goofuses.

Gallant doesn't believe in conspiracy theories.

Goofus believes in every conspiracy theory, even the ones which a contradictory.

Gallant is a fair and reasonable cop.

Goofus pulls Colored People over and beats them up for "Resisting Arrest"

Gallant eats healthy.

Goofus eats nothing but Chicken McNuggets ala Stacey Irvine. Also he drinks nothing but Coke.

Gallant goes to bed on time.

edited 18th Jan '17 9:42:39 AM by fdiaperhead

Goofus goes to bed at work.

Gallant reads good fanfics.

Goofus makes Troll Fics.

Gallant tries not to step on ants while walking.

edited 19th Jan '17 5:17:36 AM by anza_sb

Goofus is The Ant Bully.

Gallant doesn't write clickbait.

Goofus makes such obvious clickbait even other clickbaiters didn't like him.

Gallant doesn't shut down people when they suggest more diversity in media.

Goofus casts white actors for ethnic roles.

Gallant doesn't stereotype people based on where they are from.

Goofus has a whole closet full of stereotypical clothing just so he can mock every possible nationality.

Gallant defends people who are being insulted on the Internet, but without being intrusive or patronizing about it.

Goofus manages to insult both the person attacking and the person being defended.

Gallant keeps himself informed of what's going on in other countries.

Goofus gets his information from The Onion and Alex Jones.

Gallant uses alternative energy.

Goofus burns Coal to heat up their lawn.

Gallant stops people from stealing.

Goofus encourages stealing.

Gallant is popular at school, but doesn't put down those that aren't and even helps them be more accepted.

Goofus believes he is popular, and uses it to through his weight around and act like a bully, except no one actually likes him.

Gallant only adds characters to Complete Monster if they are guilty of horrible crimes.

Goofus added Gallant under Complete Monster just because he doesn't like him.

Gallant is a cinnamon roll.

Goofus eats Gallant.

Gallant is an avid artist.

Goofus only draws dicks in his notebook.

Gallant is a brilliant detective, even better than Sherlock Holmes.

Goofus is as good as a detective as Marlon Webb

Gallant is Vegan but doesn't brag about it.

Goofus works for PETA, and gives Vegans everywhere a bad name.

Gallant has good taste in movies.

Goofus honestly believes that Animal Soccer World is a masterpiece of animation.

Gallant is able to run for five kilometers withouth breaking a sweat!

Goofus breaks Gallant's knees so he won't feel bad about himself for not exercising

Gallant helps Baby Birds back into their nest

Goofus eats baby birds alive.

Gallant turns in his work on time.