Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, your mind gets corrupted instead.

I wish to have a fresh cheese burger.

It's made of human flesh.

I wish I was a Green Lantern

Granted. You're now a lantern that's green.

I wish to come up with the greatest idea ever.

Granted, but then you forget it.

I wish I was a giant.

Granted, you enjoy your life as a giant until some dick named Jack comes along.

I wish for a swing set.

Granted,Cesaro puts you in a giant swing and tries break his own record of a hundred rotations.
\\ I wish for my own pet rock.

Granted, except your pet rock is molten.

I wish to own a Magical Girlfriend.

Granted, however her magical abilities are the result of her actually being an Eldritch Abomination in human form fleeing from her kin. You quickly lose your mind in the ensuing battles you and she undergo to save yourselves. The best you can hope for is she tends to your gibbering vegetable body for the rest of its life then leaving with the bitter memories of what she inadvertently did to you.

I wish I had an Eva.

Granted, you receive the burnt corpse of Eva Braun.

I wish for a longer I Pad charging lead.

Granted. It's so long that by the time you've found the end and plugged it in, the charging port shape's become obsolete and you have to buy a new lead. ...and iPad.

I wish for a potion that would allow me to take on any form I want at will without having to be trapped in said form permanently.

Granted, but it tastes like hobo.

I wish I had the power to rewrite reality.

Granted, you make a spelling mistake which causes you to get crushed by a runaway hippo.

I wish for Battlefield 1 to not be a disappointment.

edited 8th May '16 1:25:56 AM by The_Dag

Granted, but it's ridiculously overpriced and has a pay-to-win system. Also, there is a **** ton of bugs and the community is toxic as ****.

I wish for the next poster to corrupt this wish.

Granted.

I wish I had more time to do what I wanted.

Granted, you've been given an extra millisecond.

I wish for a potato.

Granted. It's poisonous.

I wish I felt better about myself.

Granted, you find comfort in your new hobby: serial killing.

I wish I had a stiff drink.

edited 8th May '16 12:53:10 PM by Avenuewriter

It's so stiff, you choke on it.

I wish that there was no The Last Airbender movie.

Granted, the oroginal show is also deleted along with it.

I wish my wish corruptions were better.

Granted, now your wishes are even more horrifically corrupted.

I wish that, during the next election of the Russian President, people in Russia voted for the Yabloko party.

Putin bans it anyway.

I wish that India wasn't so sexist.

Granted, They're horrifically racist instead.

I wish Battle.net would start working on my computer again so I can play the Overwatch open beta.

Granted, but the game isn't as good as you think.

I wish my back wasn't killing me right now.

Granted, now it's your ribs.

I wish for a fireproof suit.

Granted. It is not acidproof, however, and you are doused in acid the moment you put it on.

I wish I was the almighty god queen of mankind.