Sinfest

Your headcanon is now my headcanon.

edited 27th Sep '15 7:11:13 PM by Overlord347

Well, how about you hear the rest of my headcanon and see if you like it too?

Continued from previous... The next day, we see Slick and Monique laughing their asses off while recounting the events of yesterday to Criminy and Squigley, because they got to the point where Seymour said "naddies" and can't help but find it so absurd it's hilarious. Squig laughs with them, and even Criminy admits that he does find Seymour's choice of words weird and the laughing reaction from his friends understandable (even if he doesn't laugh with them).

Skip to several hundred/a few thousand strips later (equivalent to a few in-universe months). Slick has finally improved his self-control and the quality and quantity of his sweet-talk vocabulary (with the help of recently Heel–Face Turn-ed Fuchsia and her boyfriend Criminy), and decided to call Monique on her challenge when coincidence puts them both in a similar situation to the one where he first showed his Smooth side.

Eight whole minutes pass without any major incident, Monique is just basking in the atmosphere while occasionally giving looks that he never saw her give him before, and he's not only fully confident he'd make a full 10, but intends to keep going until he hits 15— no, 20— NO, THIRTY MINUTES! He's gonna blow her mind today! Nothing can stop him!

But nooooo, Yahweh had to be cruel to him by having them spotted by Seymour, who of course doesn't waste a second going on one of his usual vitriol-laden sermons and threats and all that.

Slick tries. Really, he does. He manages 30 seconds before his temper just vaporizes the walls of his self-control and—

—he finds Monique's iconic hat slammed on his hit and momentarily blinding. Two seconds later, the visual obstacle is removed... and his eyes are treated to the shocking sight of Monique holding Seymour by the collar and giving him the Mother of All Death Glares. Then she speaks:

"Do. You. Know. What. Are. The. Con—. Se—. Quen—. Ces. Of.    CUNTBLOCKIIIIING?!   "

We hurriedly cut to a commercial for about 1.5 minutes. When we get back, we see Monique dusting her hands off while walking away from Seymour... who's beat black and blue, somehow has scorch marks all over him, and is pitifully moaning about his "poor holy jewels" not deserving to be "inhumanely abused" so many times.

Monique stops before the awestruck Slick. Slick opens his mouth and says something... that is mostly censored to us viewers by a sudden gust of wind with a cruel sense of humour; we can only get the implication that he was complimenting her in some way.

See Monique stare at Slick.

See Monique abruptly grab Slick by the arm and drag him behind her into the house.

See Monique answer his confused inquiry about what the heck she's doing by saying that she's making do on her promise.

See Monique answer his confused statement that he only did a little over 8 minutes by correcting him that he did 10, because The Compliment more than made up for the ~1.5 minutes that he spent staring speechless at her... and she never said he had to spend all of the 10 minutes sweet-talking her, as long as he didn't lapse back to being his jerkass self. Which he did not.

See Monique respond to his deadpan stare (she can tell even while he's wearning sunglasses) at that last part by saying that 1) Nique-logic trumps all logic, and 2) She wants nookie, he wants nookie, and for all she cares he already earned the right to get nookie from her the moment she looked him in the eyes at the beginning of those 10 minutes and immediately realized how much he had grown as a person, so now she has to prove that she had grown up too.

Much nookie ensues.

Next day sees Squigley, Criminy, Fuchsia, Tangie, and Lil' E (you know, the amnesiac one who's no longer evil-obssessed) wondering if the two were alright, before breaking out in roaring laughter/good-natured snickering/girlish giggling when they see them coming towards the group's usual spot... with Monique walking a bit funny while shit-grinning and carrying a thoroughly embarrassed and outraged Slick in her arms, because "he's mine and I'm advertising my ownership of my property to the world", and then she proceeds to sing praises about her new boyfriend proved to be the equivalent of a Sex God in his dedication to her comfort and pleasure if not technique... despite being a complete virgin.

See the Slickster sulk in embarrassment (but with the corner of his mouth twitching like he's trying not to smile) while his friends alternate between congratulating him on his misfortune and making good-natured ribs.

We eventually see them quietly watching the beautiful sunset.

Yahweh is in His Heaven contemplating what new antics he should perform with his hand-puppet. Satan is brooding in Hell. The Dragon is soaring majestically through the stratosphere. Buddha is sitting is under his favorite tree in meditation. And good ol' Jesus is doing what he does best: wander the world, redeem-zapping devil-guys and -girls back into humans, carrying some cross or the other, and blessing those in need of blessing.

And a so-far-nameless artist/writer — who while bespectacled and black-haired, does not own a cat and a dog, and is not a shut-in either — finally puts down his pen, stretches his aching limbs, yawns, and decides to call it a night, hoping that the good he tried to inject into a certain fictional universe lasts while he sleeps like the dead.

edited 27th Sep '15 8:13:02 PM by MarqFJA

Please stop Marq. It hurts knowing it'll never happen.

And now back to the continuing adventures of stoner pig.

http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2015-09-28

... What if I promised to write this into a full-fledged fanfic if I ever get around to writing good-quality fanfics — or heck, maybe even a whole fan-webcomic (can Ishida sue me if I did this?) if circumstances permit me to dedicate that much time and effort?

Anyway... RUN, SQUIGLEY! RUN! And move out of the way, old man! Incoming!

edited 27th Sep '15 8:43:10 PM by MarqFJA

A devil, Squig, not the devil. You don't have to run so quickly.

Not gonna lie, I'd read that.

Let's be upfront about something, the ONLY thing we've seen Vainglorious fight are drones. There's a VERY good chance Squig might be able to take him.

PIG VS DOUCHE!!! All for the price of a doughnut with sprinkles. Who will win? This Sunday Sunday Sunday!

And so begins the age of colored Sunday strips.

Dialogue in a Sunday strip? HERESY!!!

Regarding the current strip, does Squigly even know who Vainglorious is? I mean, "Devil's throneroom" isn't exactly a bad assumption for someone not in the loop.

The thing is, nobody knows who Doucheglorious is in the context of up-and-coming Big D contender, other than Big D himself.

And the devil-oracle.

Man, the good old times. When Slick occasionally could get away with pervertedly leering at Monique (because he's trying to demonstrate his flexibility of facial expressions, or something). Heheh... "This one's OK. This one's NOT OK! Ick! Pfffttt, this one's hilarious! Come on, do another one!"

Well now, this is a nice change of fortune for Slick. A hot girl who doesn't seem to mind that a guy is ogling her body, and actually sympathizes with his minor complaint that she needs to tone down the hotness for the sake of his health. <goes to next strip> ... GODDAMMIT, SATAN!

On a different note... Criminy becoming more or less a shut-in within a fort of books seems quite out of the blue and inconsistent with his prior characterization as not minding going out with Slick and Squigley.

... *sniff* Again, good old times. They may find more things they hate in each other than ones that they love, but they're still more than willing to be friends nonetheless who wouldn't mind cooperating for a common goal.

edited 28th Sep '15 3:38:52 PM by MarqFJA

New comic:

http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2015-09-29

Seriously, do we have an actual fan nickname for Doucheglorious's terminator toady here?

Let's call him "Wesley" and picture him talking in a heavy German accent!

Nah. Brings to mind THE Wesley for which the trope used to be called, and pretty much ALL of the newer cast members are some sort of Wesley with the notable exception of Sapphire.

I'd recommend Lécher Les Bottes which is French for Toady, but outside of Copy/Paste, I have no idea how to put an apostrophe above the E like that.

As for the comic itself, let it GO you little suck up! It was just some food and drink, and your boss looks like he's doing pretty well with no coffee, there's no reason to take it this far!

"Lickspittle" maybe?

How would the art even get damaged if it's a portal? You just go through it.

Aw, but "Wesley" has such a nice ring to his personality.

Can we at least picture him with an exaggerated German accent a la the Professor if it wasn't so super high-pitched?

Well of course. Honestly, it'd be more surprising if the guy DIDN'T have a high pitched voice.

edited 29th Sep '15 11:14:11 AM by Metalix

New comic:

http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2015-09-30

More running away!

Okay, that's a bit much in terms of stupid from the amazingly derpy duo. Everyone knows that Slenderman's most distinctive features are not just being Tall and skinny. He's also supposed to be bald, faceless, and in a business suit.

Seriously, if Slenderman wore a freaking cardigan with hipster glasses, I don't think ANYTHING could've made him scary.

"I disagree with that last part, Slenderman is my father, I'm more of a Slender Dude am right?" Jack Slenderman Marik plays slender part 5.

But no i agree with your sentiments. He's not the effing slenderman, he has a very distinct nonface and dress sense.

The only joy i get out of this is imagining if Doucheglorious and his assistant Fop Warholl wind up picking up the eight pages and the real Slenderman stalks them

If this becomes an ongoing "plot" then Frigg off.

That's a a fairly accurate description of Slenderman's lesser-known cousin, Trenderman.

edited 30th Sep '15 12:48:17 AM by Elfive

...i think the bigger problem here is that tats thought that alone was a punchline

Now, if those two get eaten by Slendy next strip...

Or, alternatively, if she'd mistaken him for candlejack instead, and in the next panel she's just g

edited 30th Sep '15 1:56:20 AM by Elfive

What have ae said about mentioning Candlejack without christ. 5th one this morning. I'm gonna need more rope.

edited 30th Sep '15 3:47:20 AM by EchoingSilence

It'd be really funny if she mentioned Candle Jack, that should be our nickname f

edited 30th Sep '15 4:43:45 AM by Murataku