Is your life over when you become a parent

You know I keep hearing in the media but is your life really over when you become a parent? I have no plans to actually become one anytime soon but for the parents out there, is your life really over when you go into parenthood?

Yep. Your mom and dad were dead when they had you.

GAP is a zombie.

He can't be a zombie; then he'll be overrated. :(

A thought just came into my mind about this, I have no intention of doing this anytime soon but it just comes up. I think it is gone now.

Isn't it meant your life as you know it right now ends? I dunno, I don't plan on having any.

I'm guessing it refers to the fact that a lot of things you might have done with a carefree devil-may-care attitude no longer apply. Any free time you might have had will probably be curtailed as a result of how much looking after a little one requires.

Something like that.

Your life changes, and your amount of disposable income drops dramatically. But that's usually being said by the kind of single people who think that not being able to go out and party whenever they feel like it means their life is over.

If this is true, I'm pretty sure Hopey is a mass murderer.

Yes it does. I am not thinking about children yet as there are still some things that I want do, finish up my schooling as well as find my purpose in life before I think about that stuff.

It's only over when you become a parent, not when you have a child.

Even though one of my friends became pregnant, it didn't affect her free time at all. In fact, she still got to enjoy the finer parts of her life during parties, getting drunk and having fun, even on the day she had her baby. First chance she got, she checked herself out of the hospital, told her grandma to take care of the baby and threw a house party celebration in honor of her baby being born.

She hasn't come home in weeks to take care of it. So...she still has a life.

Is it alright to feel like I want to kill her?

That's what we call down here being an irresponsible dickbag. Having a child is supposed to be a big responsibility and a call to maturity, so having obvious misgivings and grievances with that kind of behavior is not unusual.

Basically. Having a child is a big switch on your life and priorities. Children are huge money sinks, and they take a lot of time and patience to raise and especially raise well, they will eat up a big percentage of your free time that you may occupy your hobbies with and generally you can't live as loose and free as you once did. Some will welcome that with open arms because having a child is worth that, but others won't or have reservations about children because of it.

Myself as an example, I am really on the fence on if I want kids at all. I love children aged 5-11 and I have been told many times that I would make a good caretaker. But I HATE babies with a burning passion and have a strong distaste for loud noises and screaming in particular which is bound to happen with any kid. Also, I have quite expensive hobbies like my Gaming and Toy Collections that I would either have to stop or cut profusely should a child come into my life. These kind of thoughts provide me with a conundrum of if I actually want a hypothetical child of my own genetic materials or otherwise.

Of course it's tends to be a two way street. Since my current partner is a Child Hater {and nonlibido Asexual on top of that} so I personally lean towards more the "No" part of this equation for the moment. But things can change in time

edited 24th Jan '15 6:54:25 AM by PippingFool

Kill her painfully and slowly. That kind of irresponsibility is the big reason why the world is so fucked up right now.

The entire idea is bollocks. I became an adoptive parent and my life has only improved.

While it's my niece I'm adopting and she only has reason to be thankful, and she can make it plain and let be know what she wants and needs, my life has only improved and hasn't changed too drastically.

This is one of the big reason I don't plan on becoming a parent. And I am irrationally jealous about the possibility of my friends becoming parents, as there will be no way they'll have time for me anymore. Which is not to say that I will begrudge them for it - it is only right and proper that they'll focus on the child - but I will be sad that my relationship with them will be effectively over.

I don't think so. The only way your life could be over is if you die.

But seriously, if you honestly believe it, you're probably going to be a shitty parent. If you have more confidence in being a parent, you'll probably be okay.

Also, what Blue Ninja said.

edited 24th Jan '15 10:33:46 AM by PrincessGwen

My parents pretty much did the same thing Aespai's friend did with me and my brothers. It was my grandma and my uncle who ended up raising us. They threw the responsibility of raising their own children out the window and last I checked they were both still doing the in-and-out of jail routine.

I live with my uncle still and he is one of the greatest men who ever lived as far as I am concerned. Having me, my two brothers, and his own three children hasn't killed his life. And my grandma has stated several times that her happiest moments are when all her grandchildren are together with her.

Your old life may very well end when you become a parent, but a new, possibly better on, starts at the same time.

edited 24th Jan '15 12:15:07 PM by Parable

Your life doesn't end, but your IQ drops by 50 and you become a raging dickbag

at least that's what i've seen from my parents

inb4 "you're just a teenager you cant possibly have a legitimate reason for not liking your parents"

anyway i dont plan on having kids anyway, i dont like them to be honest

I'm really sorry about you having horrible parents.

Unfortunately, there are some people that are just too incompetent to raise children, which is why some people probably DO need a license to be a parent.

^^^ That.

Well, I've no intention of being a parent either. So far, I've been successful. People tell me I'm good with kids, so I'd make a good father - But those kids (obviously) belong to someone else. I'm not ultimately responsible for their welfare.

I wouldn't mind becoming a parent, but that would only happen when the economy improves and if I get a sustainable career. And both are still very far away.

edited 24th Jan '15 2:37:30 PM by Quag15

Yeah I'm the same I'm training for ECCE and the kids liked me at my Practicum, I'm a Brownie leader (well I'm really more of a Spark leader we have joint meetings, actually I'm really more of the "Junior Spark" leader but technically they're under their parents supervision anyways), but even if I had the means (I really, really don't, I'm a student with no income besides what my parents give me, what am I supposed to do ask the Residence head person if I can have a child here, put the crib and toys where? this place is tiny) I still wouldn't do it, because their is a huge difference between helping out or working with kids where you know you can take sick days, and are only there for a certain amount of time, and you can call parents if say the child is sick (actually you have to in both cases, or you have just infected a bunch of small children) though of course you still have to take care of a sick kid until than, come home to a place where you don't have to deal with a crying child, or a child with nightmares, nap doesn't interfere with your own sleep. Not that parents life ends their social life changes, but it's still a lot of responsibility I'm nowhere near ready to take on.

What about meeee