Adulthood has turned me into a cynical, miserable hag

Probably true; I only made the joke because you were talking in military terms.

I have always been cynical and miserable hag, yeah, because I have depression.

I'm learning slowly every day. I don't have to be controlled or give people I don't like any power. I'm learning what extent my negativity is physiological and slowly managing it. Before, I did not do this.

The most valuable lesson that it is okay to accept myself if I don't meet societal standards, and how many standards are truly arbitrary and wrong. I'm learning to be unapologetic about my opinions and existence.

I still am filled with bitterness and it feels like I never will be happy in my life time. I worry about my mental health all the time. Thats how it is but I won't go down without fighting.

So many world weary 20 somethings in here.

I'd hate to see y'all when you're 40. It's a hard life here in the western world.

Well, it is a thread about people talking about how adulthood turned them into et cetera. I would hardly think it's indicative of the average adulthood. :P

edited 27th Jun '15 1:19:39 AM by Cozzer

Also some of us are a bit older then you might think. I am a bit jaded and beat up from my time in military service. I joined the military just over 15 years ago.

I joined the military 16.5 years ago ... wait, does that mean I'm actually older than Teuf?? Or did you join older than 18?

No you are likely older then me by a bit. I joined at 18. I will be 34 this year.

Holy cow, I'm more than a year older than Teuf! And all this time I thought you were in your 40s!

Lol. Usually IRL they think I am younger. Still baby faced apparently.

Face of a baby, head of a... jar?

edited 30th Jun '15 9:14:35 AM by Pyrite

I believe the appropriate response to that would be 'oorah'...?

Ah you kids in your "Twenties"...

All you need it a few more years and you'll see how silly the "youths" are

Actually, it's just a change of perspective. The things that seemed so important are less so and other things take their place.

Yeah, just wait 'til you've been on fire a couple of times...

Or have a kid, all my friends who have children are much different now that they have spawned.

Or join the rat race for real. Once you're in the job market, a lot of the sh_t you worried about in your early twenties don't mean much when you have the bills to pay.

Can we get a two-for-one and just set the kids on fire instead?

edited 4th Jul '15 5:48:22 AM by Pyrite

I believe that is generally contraindicated.

This basically sums my attitude having children. The truth I am sure if I will ever be ready since I had been ingrained since birth to have a strong foundation to support others via have a house, money and degree. Also, I still feel like I need to wait awhile before I consider it as it feels like huge step. Is your life really over when you have kids? It is true in metaphorical sense as it is no longer your life anymore but still the media portrays it as I bad thing. I am still single myself but it seems like life is passing me by.......

The media is run by a certain kind of person and they have little time for any other kind.

No, your life isn't over after you have kids. You just find yourself very busy. I can't imagine not having them around now, to be honest.

Who would want to miss out on the opportunity to be woken up in the morning by a little voice softly repeating 'Daddy...Daddy...' then being handed a beer opener and being told that it is 'for Daddy's juice'...?

Kids are a bit like the process that creates them, really; tiring as hell, but great fun.

I see.

I wonder why it is portrayred as that? I gues might be one of those individuals who adopted this notion.

edited 11th Jul '15 7:51:51 AM by GAP

Possibly because the majority of people in media are narcissists who are appalled by the idea of not being the single most important person in their own life any more? That's probably why they can never make marriages last.

And because there is a market for youth and not "I like paying bills and the kids come first".

It's fun to be the rebel and not pay bills or have responsibily. It's not fun to be the one who has to put up with a broken X-box because little Jonny needs school supplies and he busted his lip and you had to take him to the ER.

And the world (real and fictional) is filled with parents who should never have had kids. Some think Babies Make Everything Better, some are accidents, some are people who think they have it all sussed only to have their family life fall apart.

And people there are people who are man or woman enough to admit that they either: A) don't want kids, B) aren't ready for kids or C) not sure either way but don't want to take any foolish chances.

It's a sign of maturity to postpone (or decide not to) having kids. Just as much as it's a sign of maturity to take care of the kids you have.

I'm probably quite young in comparison to some others here(I'm beyond my teenage years. I won't say my exact age though.), but dam I feel old. Even when I was 19, I felt like an old man. I've even said "you dam kids" before, and I'm not too old. A lot of my childhood energy died a long time ago and now I'm a motivationless, pessimistic, lazy, old fart. I've realized things during my teenage years that some people can't realize ever. People are stupid, selfish, lazy, and jackasses. And I doubt anything will get better. The U.S.'s economy continues to decline and the corporations and politicians grow more powerful, evil, corrupt, rich, etc. every day. I doubt I will get my simple dream of getting a small place to myself that I can pay off in a couple years, get maybe a pet, get a stablish job, get a good gaming desktop, and play lots of video games and mod in my spare time (at least I can remain single . Thank fucking gosh). I'll probably stay in my current state of working part time (fine by me) and going to college part time for a while. Then I work for the corrupt people at the top for many years until things go to shit and I die, which means it's really over. I don't know if it's adulthood that's made me cynical (doubt it). It's probably the fact that I've grown up. But yeah; I'm a mentally retarded, useless, pessimistic, lazy, etc. fuck that feels older than he really is. My two cents I guess.

I feel almost the same way. Lately, I feel like an old man even though I am young and it is not a good feeling to have. I feel like I am not making any sort of difference, that Is hould be out there contributing somehow and I cannot find myself doing it. I feel somewhat cynical towards lots of things and I feel like I lost my drive. I wish I could turn back time but I can't.

I've come to appreciate the difference between cynicism and healthy enlightenment. Likewise, I strongly feel that as we age, we are too harsh on our younger selves and others who have yet to share our experiences. It's the reason why the "kids are stupid" platitude has never jived well for me. There's a difference between being a bad person on a moral and intellectual level and being an inexperienced person.

Most of the 19-22-year-olds I see on campus aren't necessarily entitled, spoiled or dim-witted. They just haven't had the exposure to rectify their behaviors, and it's a bit snobbish to pretend like you didn't do a lot of the same silly things they did with your own set of rationalizations.

That said, cynicism does not confer age or life experience necessarily. I've met 24-year-olds who have experienced everything from homelessness to life-threatening disease. I've also found many people offline and online who are well into their fifties, yet they precisely act like the stereotypical youth they decry, if not far worse.

I think a lot of negativity from those 35 and up is coming from a frankly immature reaction to the fact that social media has made our world more immediately communicative than ever before. This subsequently means that you're going to be exposed to worldviews, philosophies, strategies and cultural values you've probably never seen up close. When you're old enough to have grandchildren and your perspective has been calcified, you probably won't respond well when you see a perspective that openly interrogates many of the things you've been led to believe for several decades.

edited 1st Sep '15 12:01:13 AM by Aprilla

Oh God yes, the "cynicism means enlightenment" and "youths these days" stock phrases. Everytime I hear one of them my whole body cringes.

I mean, you are free to be a pessimist or to dislike young people. I have seriously no problems with that. But please don't act like your choices are the only logic conclusion instead of, you know, choices.

Oh, also, the "being more intelligent and educated means you'll be a pessimist" bullplatitude. God, how I hate that.

edited 1st Sep '15 12:06:06 AM by Cozzer