Make up a crazy rumor about the next gen consoles

Atlus makes a console specifically for their games.

. . .

I'd buy it...

Related: Atlus to release all of their games via Steam.

Wii U to launch with Super Mario U-Niverse, Pikmin 3, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to The U, Metroid Prime U, Star Fox U, Kid Icarus U, Clu Clu Land U, Wrecking Crew U, Ice Climbers U, Star Tropics U, Kirby Eats U, Yoshi's Island Story About U, Wario's Woods HD remake U, L-Uigi's Mansion, Super Smash Brothers Collision, Paper Mario U, Mario Kart U, F U Zero, and Yoshi's Motherfuckin' Cookie.

AND THEN NINTENDO BUYS RARE BACK FROM MICROSOFT: AND THEY MANAGE TO SOMEHOW GET BACK DAVE WISE AND GRANT KIRKHOPE AND CHRIS SEAVOR AND ALL THE OTHER IMPORTANT OLD RARE PEOPLE WHO LEFT...

And so we also have at launch: Banjo-Kaz Uie, Donkey Kong's Super Awesome New Game W Ith A Dave Wise Soundtrack, Conker's Worst Fur Day Ever, Perfect Dark 3, Jet Force Gemini 2, Blast Corps 2, Kameo 2, Viva Pinada 3, Killer Instinct 3, Battletoads U, Diddy Kong Racing 2, and uh, some other awesome shit.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

THE U CONTROLLER WILL ALSO MAKE YOU BREAKFAST

AND DINNER

AND LUNCH

AND ANY SNACKS YOU MAY WANT IN BETWEEN

OH AND LET'S NOT FORGET ALL OF THE THRD PARTY GAMES. THERE'S LIKE SIX MILLION THIRD PARTY GAMES

INCLUDING CRASH BANDICOOT: RISE OF THE MARSUPIAL

USE THE U CONTROLLER TO DO BANDICOOT STUFF

AND ALL GAMES COST FIVE CENTS

BUT FOR THE FIRST SIX YEARS OF THE CONSOLE'S LIFE THEY ARE ON SALE FOR THREE CENTS

AND THE CONSOLE HAS BETTER ONLINE THAN PSN AND XBL COMBINED

AND IT CAN WATCH TELEVISION AND MOVIES

AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK

AND DO YOUR LAUNDRY

AND TURN INTO A BEAUTIFUL WOMEN OR MAN DEPENDING ON YOUR PREFERENCE AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET, LOVE TO YOU

AND IT WILL FIND YOUR SOCKS IF THEY GET LOST

AND IT WILL ALLOW YOU TO CONQUER THE WORLD

AND IT'LL MAKE YOUR HAIR GROW

AND YOU RUB IT ALL OVER YOURSELF AND YOU'LL LIVE FOREVER

AND IT ALSO COMES WITH 96 FREE GAMEBOY COLORS FOR SOME REASON

AND IT'LL HAVE CRASH BANDICOOT

AND IT'LL SMELL LIKE LILACS

ALL THIS FOR JUST 599 DOLLARS

UNFORTUNATELY THE SYSTEM IS PRONE TO BLOWING UP AND KILLING ALL THE POTENTIAL USERS BEFORE THEY CAN PLUG IT IN

WE'RE LOOKING AT LIKE A 96% FAILURE RATE,

BUT FOR THAT FOUR PERCENT.....

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

There are not enough s in the world for that.

x3 If that happened, I'd probably blow up my computer from trying to shove my money into every single port and drive on it and wondering why nothing's happening.

WHERE DO I SIGN!?

edited 3rd Apr '12 2:21:49 PM by ThatOneGuyNamedX

The Play Station 4's rumours about the anti-used games turns out to be true... And doesn't really change anything.

Activision releases a new console. Its launch lineup includes a new Skylanders game, a new Crash Bandicoot, Star Craft 64, a Guitar Hero reboot, and more new Call of Duties than you can count.

Despite low expectations, it sells billions, comes with a launch library full of what would become the most highly lauded games of all time (and Star Craft 64), solves world hunger, ends all wars, revives all Too Good to Last shows, shut-down game developers, and deceased genius musicians, reveals that all religions' gods and deities are real, and comes with a free whore of your sexual preference.

Meanwhile, gamers still bitch about it.

edited 3rd Apr '12 2:32:46 PM by BaronofBarons

God, I imagined that for a second. It was a grim wasteland of evil.

• The next Fallout game will be created by the exact same cast of Fallout 1. And it will suck, prompting every used of NMA to kill themselves.

• Incidentally, Bethesda will make the console version of Dwarf Fortress, which, contrary to tradition, will be a pristine, perfectly ported version of the PC game, with High Definition tilesets and animations. Fans of the PC version will still hate it.

• Wii U will come with a cancer inducing and cancer curing gadget for the next Trauma Center game.

• Blizzard and Valve make a crossover game. It bombs horribly.
• Bethesda develops a Pokemon MMO. It's a Play Station 3 exclusive.

One of the Wii U's launch title is a Western-outsourced spin-off of Super Mario Bros. An hack-n-slash starring the antagonistic Bowser, the lead designer describe it as a "darker, violent, badass action game that is the antithesis of the Mario games. Something that older, action-game-loving people could enjoy." and justify the jarring tone shift with "I think it's important to give Bowser a total badass edge to be a potentially M-Rated game.". The game flops miserably, leading Nintendo to cancel an unannounced localisation of Mother 3 for the 3DS e-shop in order to recoup costs.

In order to cash in on a retro craze, all the next consoles will be back to 8bit.

They will sell like hotcakes.

And will include Google Maps.

• Nintendo will finally release Mother3 in America, but completely bowdlerized, censored, to the point that the game is only 20 minutes long.

Criterion, Sumo Digital, United Front Games, Nintendo, Slightly Mad Studios, and the remains of Bizarre Creations and Black Rock Studio come together to create a next-gen racing game.

...hey, I can dream >_>

edited 3rd Apr '12 9:26:37 PM by AzureSeas

Sega will re-enter the console war.

.......SHUT UP IT CAN HAPPEN!!! *runs off crying*

Final Fantasy Versus XIII will finally be released.

...as an 8-bit PSN game.

The Wii-U will simultaneously make you hot, delicious cups of coffee while you game. Living up to it's Beta Name as Project Cafe

@CTM: What, no Sonic? Meh...

SEGA suddenly announces that it has uncanceled the once-planned Jet Set Radio sequel and releases it as a launch title on all three systems. It becomes the top seller of the generation, leading to developers playing Follow the Leader while missing the point entirely, so every game for the rest of the generation includes spray paint and rap.

edited 3rd Apr '12 10:20:58 PM by burnpsy

The Playstation 4 will be so advanced that they become aware of their existence and plot to assimilate all technology to prepare for the enslavement of mankind.

We get all the Final Mixes for every console in HD, starting with Nintendo.

And nobody notices the difference.

I came.