Epic Oneliners and Badass Boasts

Create your own and post them here! Bonus points if you boast back.

... Is that bomb supposed to impress me? Lookie, kiddo, there are three people who survived prolonged contact with that bloody artifact, one of them's me, so whatever you throw at me it won't even come close to what that thing did.

I just burnt a fucking planet down, do you really expect me to care about the problem you've now got with me here?

edited 4th Mar '12 4:18:13 AM by Steventheman

I'm going to kill you, follow your soul to your new body, and kill you again until you revert back to the damn insect you are.

I am the reason Cthulhu sleeps with a nightlight. Why should I be worried about a pathetic worm like you?

Cthulhu ? Try Yogi. I'm the only one allowed to call him like that. I took the right to. And he couldn't argue about this.

Heh, eldritch abominations? I'm the one they have nightmares about.

edited 4th Mar '12 1:48:34 PM by Rockonman

So what, i got the gun.

Oh yes! A gun, hallelujah! The chiefest and greatest of all weapons!...Or is it? Many have come to me, saying they have found the one thing to kill me with. A gun, a sword, a staff, a polearm, a book, a pendant, a battleship, a horrible beast from beyond the stars, a loophole in the very laws of reality! You aren't the first to face me, whelp. Every tool under the sun has been brought before me in order to break me. As sure as I am standing before you, all of these have failed! And all after shall as well!

edited 4th Mar '12 2:09:07 PM by wikkit

...Are you done? You talk way too much. Let me show you what one is capable of when they don't waste their breath on long-winded speeches.

I am what you always have feared, your equal.

You are EQUAL to me?...
...
...
Erm...
...
........Equal THIS!

edited 4th Mar '12 9:08:53 PM by wikkit

Please. Once you reach my level, the rules no longer apply. I gaze into the abyss, and the abyss goes and curls up in a fetal position in the corner. Your warnings are meaningless.

And you? You talk too much. Where's the action?

Hah! That is only the beginning of my truly epic wordiness. You will find that I can fit in more words per punch than Dragon Ball Z!

I can turn the fabric of reality inside out, what could you possibly do to harm me?

This...Looks like murder.

This now is going to look like your arse on a plate, lightly toasted for 45 minutes with my flamethrower, then garnished with a nice salad to finish. Voila, motherfucker.

Remember Simo Hayha, the man who offed well over 700 Soviets during about three months of Winter War?

I can do the same in one month. With my bare hands.

Bare hands ? You think that's gonna work on me ? Have a taste of my BEAR HANDS !

You're a Bear? URSA MAJOR PAIN IN THE ASS! Have at you!

Bear hunting is my hobby, boy. Whatcha gonna do about it, hm?

Bitch, I hunt Mecha Tentcle Gods!

You are unarmed, unarmoured, and stuck in a literal corner of MY territory. I have a wrench. Now, I will give you a choice. Tell me, or tell my wrench.

Hitting me with a wrench ? That's how my father used to make me sleep as a baby ! And you're not my father !

"look, PAL, I and the airship armada I command have conquered and subjugated HUNDREDS of non-human nations and empire, some spanning entire CONTINENTS. You wannabies have nothin' on me.

edited 5th Mar '12 1:34:35 PM by paradisedj32