Weird stuff you did as a child

Just to name a few:

• when I was really little I used to build mounds out of dirt and push sticks into them.
• did some minor surgery on a stuffed animal where I implanted a single cotton ball, just so I could contribute to the stuffing, I guess
• took all of the bottles out from under the sink and lined them up on the counter.
• smuggled some very small river pebbles from the school sandbox for my collection.

For a brief period, I didn't wash my hands before eating, which I quickly realized was disgusting because I was a rugrat and all. Now, my mother makes fun of me for washing my hands as much as I do.

I used to save worms out of the gutter.

I actually still do that sometimes.

I had an odd passion for magnets as a child. I actually ate magnets to see if I could stick to my magnetic loft bed.

I couldn't.

And most of them were Littlest Pet Shop magnets.

I used to come up with my own alien planets/universes that were for some reason usually like Medieval European Fantasy worlds without the people.

I did a similar thing, but with more tentacles and metal and less middle ages.

edited 6th Jan '14 9:30:40 PM by Landorkus

Interesting.

Want to elaborate?

edited 6th Jan '14 9:35:01 PM by BaconManiac5000

WELL

I was a very creative child and decided to make planets made out of one thing only. One was tentacles. Another was metal. A third was metal tentacles.

A tentacle planet reminds me of Futurama.

I have always been a very concrete thinker, so all of my worlds looked and acted a lot like ours.

Except with both dinosaurs and dragons.

IIRC, I used to eat the wood railing of the bunk-bed I used to have (can't remember why though), ended up cutting a bit of my hair off once (IIRC, it was close to school picture time as well) and once climbed into a baby's swing at the park near where I used to live. Problem was, I was too big to get back out again by myself and my brother has to get my Dad to help me >_<

Looking back has made me realize how dumb I used to be (nowadays, I am a bit smarter, but still have no common sense)...

Wow, I could fill a book. But here goes:

• When I was about 3, I took a container of garlic salt and poured a whole bunch of it into my mouth. Not surprisingly, I threw up.

• And even long after that, I continued to eat out of spice containers. My dad and stepmom had a huge rack of them. The stepmom hated when I touched them, but dad was cool with it. My favorites were the imitation bacon bits and the bouillon cubes.

• Similarly, a friend of my mom's remembers me pouring sugar on the table and lapping it up with my tongue, but I don't remember this personally.

• I would also drink dad's coffee when he wasn't looking, or when he'd left a half full cup sitting around and forgotten about it.

• I used to chew on my mom's silk robe.

• I had a huge rock that I drew a face and hands on, and dubbed Mr. Rock. I think we still have him somewhere.

• I used to slide down the stairs at church on my belly. In my mind, I was pretending to be a paper towel coming out of the dispenser.

• When I was about 3, I found that I was small enough to fit inside the heat vent. I would sometimes stay down in there and play with things.

• We got a piano when I was 4, and I proceeded to label EVERY key with a magic marker so I could teach myself how to play.

• I noticed that there were three different styles of streetlights in our town, so I would give them names and point out every time we passed by an "Arup", "Kesselton", or "Solon".

• Every time we went over a bridge, I would make various noises depending on what the guardrails looked like. Jersey barriers = suck on tongue; concrete with metal bars = "boomp boomp"; metal railing = flipping my lip; and old bridges = beating my fist against the edge of the door.

• In preschool, I got trapped in a wooden seesaw-like toy. Later, I managed to pull down an entire shelving unit (where we stored our coats and lunchboxes) onto myself.

• In kindergarten, I took on a cat alter ego named Meow Purr, who sometimes had a "G." in his name for "genius". I refused to do any work unless I was Meow G. Purr that day.

• Later, I went through a spell where I was Garfield, and mom was Arlene. One time, I got lost in Kmart, and asked them to page "Arlene" at the service desk. They did.

• In 2nd grade, I walked out of the bathroom with my pants down and liquid hand soap in my hair just to get attention.

• I would draw road maps on ANY surface, from scrap paper to cardboard boxes to the insides of books. Some of my childhood books are so overlaid with road maps that I drew with markers that they're completely illegible. To this day I can still draw a village I made up called "Viacom" from memory. One map I drew when I was 5 was completely accurate directions to a "baby store" in Saginaw (actually a Babies "R" Us) where I believed we were going to buy my adopted sister.

• I also collected phone books. In second grade, I would look at the road map section in the front of the local phone book, and correct the maps since they often had mistakes. (For instance, they never properly labeled a couple streets in our neighborhood.) I was always disappointed when phone books did not have maps in the front.

• I used to eat salsa straight from the jar. And not just mild, either.

• In sixth grade, I pretended that "Max", the mascot from Mac Addict magazine, was my two-inch-tall imaginary friend. At lunch, I would stuff my pockets with croutons and call them "Max Snax". I seem to recall that he grew to have several other mini-imaginary friends along with him, but the only ones I remember offhand are a wife named Maxine and other guys named Geneseret and Installer.

• I played with myself long, LONG before puberty. It felt good when I touched it a lot, that's all I knew. Usually I'd just rub it through my clothes against a pole or something. I continued to get myself off this way well into puberty (and I was a very early bloomer), and I don't think I ever really tried masturbating "normally" until I was 18.

When my brother and I were kids, we liked to pretend that when the title for History of the World Part I appeared that it was punching us.

When I was a kid,

I was fun.

edited 25th Jan '14 10:14:41 PM by BaconManiac5000

I used to chew on leaf stems, bark and pine needles. No idea why, 'cuz none of it tasted particularly good.

I dunno, I sometimes chewed on pine needles and found them somewhat tasty.

I used to pretend I was a car mechanic, and my 'car' was our living room table. I would lay down underneath the table and place my hands on the bottom and act like I had a wrench.

I still do that. Especially after xmas when the tree is a bit shrivelled.

I used to pretend that I was turning into various animals at the breakfast table.

When I was in kindergarten, we always had a milk break (as in, we got those mini cartons of milk to drink). We always had straws with our milk. Problem was, I didn't know where the garbage bin was, so I couldn't toss out the wrapper. So, I ended up doing the only thing I thought was logical: I ate the wrapper.

This.

I was weird when I was four.

edited 6th Feb '14 1:19:36 PM by BaconManiac5000

Cross-posting:

I used to get writing journals in my fifth grade English class by putting down something like "I [writing prompt here] because blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yack yack yack yack yack" and so on. While my teacher at the time (RIP) couldn't actually give me a bad grade on it because... well... it was writing, I eventually went back to writing meaningfully after she asked about it.

Earlier, in fourth grade, I came across an in-your-own-words question and thought it was a swell time to quote Calvin and Hobbes: "Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink watoom gazork. Chumble spuzz."

So much. In the first grade, I would sing a songs about bubbles while washing my hands. The whole class knew about it and would laugh about it behind my back. I used to carry around a small cowrie shell everywhere. I think I ended up losing it at a movie theatre. My cousin and I would put underwear on our heads and jump around the room. And I used to scratch my butt in public all the time.

When I was a kid I used to pick a broomstick and have imaginary fights with it as if it was a sword or whatever weapon I could think of. Most of the time I did some sort of weird crossover stuff I don't even remember about anymore. I remember that I got terribly embarrassed everytime somebody saw me doing it as well.

To be fair I think the only reason I stopped doing that is because in my new house our yard is so small that I'm afraid of hitting my dog or my father's car when doing it