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It Just Awes Me!:
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Total posts: [325]  1
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WTF news headlines.:

 26 Bur, Wed, 7th Mar '12 4:57:27 AM from Flyover Country Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
Saw this one checking the Yahoo!News today:

"What sank the Titanic? Scientists point to the moon." [lol]
 27 Rocket Dude, Wed, 7th Mar '12 3:25:41 PM from AZ, United States
This hat doesn't fit!
That makes sense, if you know about the moon's effects on the tides.
Tumblr | "Hipsters: the most dangerous gang in the US." - Pacific Mackerel
 28 Bur, Wed, 7th Mar '12 3:32:38 PM from Flyover Country Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
So the article explained, but taken at face value one might imagine the moon going "I'M GOING TO DISGUISE MYSELF AS AN ICEBERG AND SINK THE TITANIC! MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!"
That settles it. The moon did 9/11.
I have no beard. I have no beard, and I must scream.
 30 Deboss, Thu, 8th Mar '12 2:59:18 AM from Awesomeville Texas
I see the Awesomeness.
If I were the moon, that would totally be my plan. They'd never see it coming.
 31 Aryn, Thu, 8th Mar '12 9:30:39 AM from The place with states.
Shipper of Spacetime
It must've planned that out at least three days in advance.
 32 Pipping Fool, Thu, 8th Mar '12 5:31:56 PM from Sydney, The Vivid City Relationship Status: Getting away with murder

DARN IT! You beat me to the obligary Majora's Mask refernce.

 34 Malph, Mon, 26th Mar '12 5:34:49 PM from The middle of somewhere Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
All hail
[up] Well of course. Otherwise it would be perfectly legal for stoners to create The Bong Dynasty or for 13 year olds to give Confucius the idea to say "Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok".
So, in the U.S., randomly stripping is a signal that you want to sing the national anthem? - That Human
I want Kat's glasses!
[up][up]There's a "http" problem with your link (possibly a missing colon)
They Called Me Mad!! I decided to show them all; but when I looked on my works, oh mighty, I despaired: for it made me realize they were right.
 36 Flanker 66, Thu, 29th Mar '12 3:48:34 AM from 30,000 feet and climbing Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
Okay, so I found these in a book that had a chapter devoted to these sort of things, but here goes:

  • "Man bitten by chocolate biscuit in midnight snack attack" (Makes Just as Much Sense in Context, I presume)
  • "Filming in cemetery angers residents" (Ah, the joys of ambiguity)

Unfortunately those are the only ones I can remember off the top of my head. As a bonus, have a choice excerpt from a newspaper which had its' meaning change very dramatically with a single typo:

"A man frowned after falling into the river Teviot."
Locking you up on radar since '09

Sing to the ocean in the afternoon haze,

Up the iron pillars, rise in the waves
 37 Bur, Fri, 30th Mar '12 4:56:29 AM from Flyover Country Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
From the Yahoo!News today:

Man Attacked by Mountain Lion, Saved by Bear

....wait wait wait. You give me a "...lolwut" headline like that and expect me to not read you? ...well played, journalist.
 38 Mort 08, Sun, 1st Apr '12 10:50:31 PM from Oklahoma Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Pirate AND writer!
"Studies Show Liberals Are More Stubborn Than Normal People"
 39 Flareth, Tue, 3rd Apr '12 3:35:05 PM from The 1990s
The Absolute Fangirl
"Women knit uteruses in protest"

"Easter Bunny' arrested"

"NYC abandons 'dinosaur' ban on tests"

"Lightning hits car, mom reacts"

Not giving you the links so you can maintain confusion :3

There's no way I can credit all these icons....
 40 Bur, Wed, 4th Apr '12 4:39:26 PM from Flyover Country Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
 41 Inverurie Jones, Thu, 5th Apr '12 1:03:07 AM from North of the Wall. Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
'80s TV Action Hero
(possibly a missing colon)

I know a guy who has that. Wears a bag-thingy.
Be professional. Be polite. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
 42 Mike K, Thu, 12th Apr '12 12:18:41 PM from planet earth Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
3 microphones forever
I think I've talked about this before, and it's a mundane story but a very unfortunately worded headline - the article was about the Tim Burton adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory having a good opening week at the box office. They went with something like "Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' Has Delicious Opening". As far as actual weird news stories go, I'm still kinda fond of Porpoises Rescue Dick Van Dyke.
[up] D'aww! Hooray for porpoises! grin

 44 Nohbody, Fri, 13th Apr '12 4:57:37 PM from Somewhere in Dixie Relationship Status: Mu
Just zis guy
For WTF value in both headline and content (more the latter than the former, admittedly), I present to you Police: Man Armed With Plunger Tries To Rob Central New York Bank

edited 13th Apr '12 4:58:27 PM by Nohbody

 45 Bur, Mon, 30th Apr '12 2:25:23 PM from Flyover Country Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
"Cannibal Shrimp: The Invasion Has Begun"

It's a very un-WTF news story, but tell me the headline doesn't make you think of a B-movie.
 46 0dd 1, Mon, 11th Jun '12 7:38:29 AM from Nowhere Land
Just awesome like that
[up]I totally wanna make that movie now.
Insert witty and clever quip here.

My page, as the database hates my handle.

My music.
 47 CDRW, Mon, 11th Jun '12 7:50:07 AM Relationship Status: Mu
 48 Danniiee, Tue, 12th Jun '12 5:48:13 PM from    THE DEPTHS OF HELL   
Man Attacks Girlfriend With Wasabi-Covered Pants.


 49 Nick The Swing, Fri, 29th Jun '12 11:41:50 PM from Ya really wanna know? Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
[up][up][up][up]In the aftermath of a nuclear accident near New Jersey, unknowing of the horror awaiting them, the people of Jersey head to the beach after the nuclear waste issue has been sufficiently dealt with by the government. But, just when the beach babes and dudes thought it was safe to get back in the water... -cut to a picture of a fake tanned steroid user getting pulled into the water by a giant shrimp made of bad CGI-A HORROR UNRELENTING! Its hunger for human flesh never sated! Cannibal Shrimp: The Invasion Has Begun

I also remember reading about some sort of story titled Mitt Romney - Man or Unicorn?

edited 29th Jun '12 11:42:58 PM by NickTheSwing

 50 Wenn, Sun, 1st Jul '12 11:35:49 AM from GET OUT OF MY HEAD
Steambot Fanatic
I don't know if this is worthy enough to be placed here, but I found the Serial Butt Stabber to be WTF-inducing, even if the article is a bit old.

Also, Man Claims Leprechauns Beat Him Up
Keep your head down, go to sleep, to the rhythm of the war drums.
Total posts: 325
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