Is homosexuality family-friendly?

I've seen complaints all over this wiki about things involving gays (for example, the tropes Get Back in the Closet, Hide Your Lesbians, and But Not Too Gay) that prompts me to say that homosexuality is not family-friendly.

Then again, I didn't know about homosexuality until I was about thirteen or fourteen, so that might cloud my perception. What do any of you think? *thread title*? How old were you when you learned about homosexuality?

I don't know exactly when I learned of homosexuality or had any concrete concept of it, but my general disposition and reaction to it has been consistent for years now:

Ew, but whatever, not my business.

I can't say that it isn't family-friendly, per se, so much as most people already have a preference, and thus will react to it accordingly.

It's not society-friendly, in many places. Family-friendly is connected to this. However, "parents scream and holler and go 'Think of the Children!!'" and "is legitimately harmful to kids" are two different things. Now, granted, young children really shouldn't have much to do with sex anyhow, but it's not as if homosexuality in the media will do them any more harm than heterosexuality—and god knows there's lots of that in modern mass media.

I am now known as Flyboy.

Probably because it would just confuse little kids who learn that families are a "mommy and daddy".

Seriously, they need life as simple and clear as possible. There life can get confusing when there ready for it.

I'm baaaaaaack

So redefine family to mean something other than "mommy and daddy."

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

@Joesolo

I don't see how it's any more confusing than "family is mom/dad because dad/mom doesn't visit/is gone" or "we're not your actual parents because you were adopted" or "family is mom/dad, stepdad/stepmom, and dad/mom", or so on. Families are already not only mom/dad/kids any more to begin with.

And I don't see how the sexual part is any less family-friendly than hetero sex is.

edited 5th Nov '11 8:26:54 PM by Jeysie

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)

Sure - gay people have a natural +10 to Interior Design so you know the house will be laid out well and have a good design scheme.

Alright, joking aside, I don't see how it isn't. I mean, I fail to see how a couple where the man beats his wife is any more family friendly than two gay guys who are legitimately good people and love each other.

The whole "non family friendly" thing to me reeks of religious fundamentalist logic.

edited 5th Nov '11 8:30:18 PM by MarkVonLewis

I'm just gonna stay out of this. My mind is not fully clear on the issue.

Right, because gays never abuse each other.

edited 5th Nov '11 8:30:57 PM by Joesolo

I'm baaaaaaack

Either way, walking in on your parents can traumatize a child!

Hell, I don't know. I didn't figure out my uncle was gay until I was a teenager, and I called his husband uncle. They never did anything inappropriate in front of me or my brother. And my parents (my dad at least) weren't big on public displays of spousal affection. So really, it's not homosexuality that isn't family friendly. It's the people that aren't family friendly.

To paraphrase Louis CK "don't punish other people because you're too lazy to talk to your own damn kids for five minutes".

The whole thing is a throwback to the whole "gay recuritment" scare, the idea that homosexuality is learned, or imprinted on kids, so telling them about it would turn them gay, or telling them about it is an elaborate ruse for pedophiles to get to molest children, or something.

I don't think "some men love men, and some women love women, and some people love all sorts of people" is that difficult a consept to get through to kids.

the statement above is false

You know, in the absence of Ken dolls, it's always two Barbies who forced into sexual acts by their owners. Kids aren't stupid.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

According to society as of now? No, it's not "family friendly," in the sense that it can't be seen openly on television or something without being painted a certain color. For a lot of reasons, I suppose. One of which is that homosexuality is a touchy subject, you don't want to offend someone in your audience after all, and it's something most kids wouldn't understand. Kids have only a basic idea of "boys like girls" as it is, so they can kind of see the "depth" of a hetero relationship. Seeing a homo relationship is, well, different to them. It goes against what they're instinctively programmed to know. They wouldn't understand it right away.

But mostly, as of now, it's because we're still hesitant to show homosexuality without the fear of offending a large crowd of people.

edited 5th Nov '11 8:38:56 PM by HeavyDDR

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

Fixed it for ya.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

Considering that back when I was in middle school (ages 10-14) we already knew enough to wonder if butch girls were lesbians, and that was before the modern push to make homosexuality more known and accepted, I'd say that it's not that hard for kids to understand it.

And before middle school, all most kids I went to school with really knew about sexuality to begin with was that sperm + egg = baby in a tummy, and that dirty jokes were funny.

So I don't see how it's so unnatural, when a kid younger than preteen mainly just thinks of their parents as, well, their parents and not sexual beings to begin with, and that middle schoolers can grasp quite easily the idea that being attracted to someone doesn't always have to be the other sex.

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)

It's both. It's natural for humans to see hetero relationships as normal. Our most basic instinct is to survive, and after that, make our genes survive, and that only happens with heterosexual intercourse. We're conditioned to think homosexuality is vastly different, I would argue, but programmed to see heterosexuality as normal and typical.

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

I had sort of a weird experience in school; I was picked on by a few kids quite a bit, and sometimes I'd get called a lesbian. And possibly asked once if I was one. Being eleven and not having been interested in boys at that time, or even had a talk with my parents about that stuff, I had no idea what they were talking about. (In fact, we have yet to have that kind of parental talk, but at this point it's a bit late.) So apparently it's family friendly enough that other kids can taunt you about it. Even when they probably don't know much more about it than you do.

I don't know where people get the perception that this forum isn't gay friendly, quite the opposite, a pretty large population of this forum is gay.

I can tell the Op from personal experience that yes, yes it is.

My mother lived with another woman for a long time. When I was 7, they split amicably, and we moved to Wisconsin. Two family friends, met through living in New Jersey, are a lesbian couple, and have been happily living together for decades. They both had children from their previous marriages, and they visit them for christmas every year barring unforeseen circumstances. They are loving and wonderful families, with awesome grandchildren, and not one has ever shown any indication of trouble.

One of them, a good friend and WW 2 afficianado, is a ballet performer, and a stand up guy, going so far as to defend people from violence in the street.

Very big Daydream Believer. "That's not knowledge, that's a crapshoot!" -Al Murray "Welcome to QI" -Stephen Fry

I don't think this topic is about "does homosexuality make for bad people" as much as it is "is it improper to speak about homosexuality in a family setting."

At least that's how I saw it, mostly because the OP listed homosexuality tropes, which are best used to describe fiction and its effects on real life and not real life itself.

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

I think the phrase "family friendly" and anything like it needs to be thrown into a fire. It leads to nothing of value in my experience.

I think this will all stop being an issue when Real Life stops applying Get Back in the Closet, Hide Your Lesbians, But Not Too Gay, etc. Especially when teaching kids about life. Maybe kids will respond better to it when society stops telling them that homosexuals are somehow different from "normal" people.

edited 5th Nov '11 8:52:07 PM by TheBatPencil

And let us pray that come it may (As come it will for a' that)

@Heavy DDR

Well, if that's the question, then the answer would be "no more inappropriate than it is to speak about heterosexuality in a family setting."

I mean, if your kid is old enough to understand relationships, it's not hard to just say, "when two people love each other". And if your kid is old enough to understand sex, then there's no real big deal there either as it's all sort of equally gross when you're just starting out understanding it, when you stop to think about it a bit.

I remember when I realized at the age of ten-ish that my mom must have boinked my dad to create me, the resulting revelatory thoughts still required Brain Bleach despite heterosexuality being "normal/natural".

edited 5th Nov '11 8:58:13 PM by Jeysie

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)

Thread Hop: No, it's exactly as family-unfriendly as heterosexuality. Ironically.

I never "learned" about homosexuality (unless you mean homosexual culture), although I did learn about heterosexism at about 13. I was brought up in an environment which was quite neutral on the subject... really the only messages I got about sexuality was "people have sex, it's natural, it can make things complicated, take care.". I was quite plainly either bi or pan, acted like it, and never really thought otherwise... Though I was never intentionally outing myself either, more like "If you're cute I'll enjoy examining you very closely. Your hangups about gender and sexuality are not relevant."

Using your much less flippant definition... given that plenty of families will CONTAIN one or more people who are either gay or bi, I find it rather difficult to categorize (non-stereotyped) gay couples as anything but family friendly. Jeysie () also makes a great point: disagreeing with a parent's dogmas != family-unfriendly.

We need to be careful not to buy into the political definition, in a discussion such as this, because political definitions are engineered to evoke reactions, not to model reality.

edited 5th Nov '11 9:24:39 PM by SavageOrange

'Don't beg for anything, do it yourself, or else you won't get anything.'

Well of course the actual sex itself is inappropriate, as always. I'm assuming we're not just talking about the obvious. I'm assuming we're talking about relationships themselves. Not the sex. Like, actually displaying two people of the same gender as cuddly or positive as a hetero couple.

Which, to most, is family unfriendly. I don't personally see any problem with children being introduced to it at an early age. But, speaking realistically, society does see a problem with it, and as I've stated before, it's mostly because it's a touchy subject with most people. Specific politics are also family unfriendly, because most agree that that they don't want their children to get involved with controversial issues right away.

edited 5th Nov '11 9:05:54 PM by HeavyDDR

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

I dunno, most people teach their kids religion from an early age, and that's about as controversial as it gets.

But, parents having problems with an idea doesn't make something family-unfriendly. If anything, the more kids are exposed to the acceptance of all love as normal, the more it'll cease to be controversial because it'll be treated as normal and non-noteworthy.

I mean, I feel like the best testament to gay relationships becoming accepted is the fact that once gays could get married in my state, they all got down to just acting like normal married couples, for all the good and bad that can entail.

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)

Well, you could argue that showing gay sex on TV wouldn't be family-friendly, but I think anyone who made that argument would say the same for straight sex.*

Anyways, children's stories can discuss death, drug addiction, and other tough issues, so I don't see why they can't discuss homosexuality.

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

But religion is also family unfriendly in the sense that it's not openly talked about in say, so-called family friendly movies or shows. It stays in the house and church, at least, usually. Most people don't want religion spoken about in front of kids because it might be preaching something they don't agree with.

edited 5th Nov '11 9:22:53 PM by HeavyDDR

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior