ITT: We are all Batman

I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I. AM. BATMAN.

-poses on a rooftop at night-

Yeah, I don't even know.

edited 31st Aug '11 2:28:01 PM by SapphireFlame

I'm Batman, I don't enjoy anything.

I caused $200mn in property damage, killed 20 civilians as collateral, all to stop a drug dealer.

I'M BATMAN.

Hand me down... The shark repellent... Bat spray...

I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN!

Bees. My God.*

edited 1st Sep '11 6:49:59 AM by EaterOfPizza

Bunch of imitators.

Return to your houses, idiots. There is no point on taking my burden. It is only for me to carry.

*Breathes in space*

I'm Batman.

-beat-

I'm Batman.

The rest of you are just Imposters

I

I'd advise you go home now.

It's not a good night for trick or treating.

Not on these streets.

SWEAR TO ME!!!!

(Turns to face new person)

Fuck you. There. Satisfied? Don't ask for any favours again.

-whips out a Bat Credit Card-

Don't leave the cave without it.

I should really kill the Joker.

But I don't want to, because its fun beating him up.

The Joker needs help.

That's what I used to think.

I've learned that that's who he is now.

He is past redemption.

You ever wonder if bat-themed vehicles and weapons are the best use of my vast fortune?

Is that a trick question?

Who are you?

Again, is that a trick question? (wafts cape) Ask anyone.

Which are you?◊

I think I'd be neutral good.

Jumpin' Jaded Jehosephat, Robin! These batmen are all mook-thrashing, murder-muttering anti-heroes! I think it's time we showed them the real batman!

-Stands on a soapbox and gives morally-absolutist, alliteration-filled speech about heroism and the upholding of US law-

we know, and you aren't the real Batman, everyone knows that I don't do that.

I have a variety of behaviors. Sometimes not at all what you would expect.

To the Bat-hroom!

I'll have you know my non-underwear strikes fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere.

Also I'm Batman. Wait... I mean I'm not Batman.

I'm Batman.